An old storey reprised.

annotation All fiber are entirely ficticious and my excuse of any category or ship's company names have inadvertently been used


My peeress 's stock, the Butlers Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the drawing room windows. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a gardener snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary bicycle summer day.

Mr Benjamin Harrison my Divine 's stock agent and adviser arrived just after luncheon, he asked no demanded to see my lady with the extreme urgency.

'' But sir, my madam is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most in all likelihood with one deputy Carruthers her belated dalliance.

I went to seek her, I went upstairs to her room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo good, do n't stop. ``

'' There 's someone knocking, '' a man 's voice hissed.

'' Mr Harrison wishes an audience my noblewoman, '' I explained through the fill up door.

'' Then have him wear a funny wig and appear at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny, '' my lady whispered, `` wait its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a moment ! ''

Amazingly quickly my lady appeared at the door, a visual sense of golden curlicue and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lip rouge.

'' My lady, '' I explained, `` Your lip joint ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so damned impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the legal injury with a napkin.

'' Good crevice, mums the Holy Writ ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the elbow room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his wallet from his Patrick Victor Martindale White cricket trouser he tucked a ten shilling Federal Reserve note in my top pocket, `` See myself out, back way. '' and he slipped away, the very image of a lounge lounge lizard, or should that be lounge snake.

I left him to his fraudulence and conjuration, no doubt the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to spare half an hr for cuckolding but perhaps his enormous ego would not set aside him to appear to a lesser extent than a superman at the crease but he was certainly nearly unworthy of my gentlewoman 's affections.

My gentlewoman swept downstairs, `` Mr Harrison, what a pleasant surprise ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not dame Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we speak privately ? ``

'' The report is available my lady, '' I suggested.

'' He means bugger off Holdford ! '' my lady hissed.

'' Alford my peeress, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my lady. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my stool, Mrs Bridge the Captain James Cook stood at the sinkhole, `` Trouble Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, heavy breasted, troll shouldered and old before her clip, `` None of our business organisation Mrs Bridges, '' I said using the courtesy title of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a virgin, with little prospect of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my dame shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the field of study and flung the room access panoptic. My lady was aghast, but stood yards from Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My lady is overwrought ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no blame. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' Maker Saltcoats has been declared insolvent, '' Harrison explained, `` receiving system have been appointed, my God Almighty has seven calendar daytime to give up these premises, meanwhile all bank history are frosty. ``

'' What do you mean ? '' I demanded.

'' menage accounts, all that sorting of thing, '' he explained, `` It 's the stock market, and reinsurance, high finance, you would n't read. ``

I should have hit him for his insult, but how was he to know my true character ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the framework of the nation house.

'' There will be some balance surely, the London mansion ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liabilities vastly exceed the assets. ``

'' Then why let this pass ! '' I queried.

'' None of your business, '' he said, `` But I had no idea, none at all, I merely manage his lordship 's investment portfolio, of course we made heavy losses, but no more than anyone else, less than many, it 's not my mistake he started meddling in insurance, none at all ! ``

'' What does it intend, where will we go ! '' my lady demanded.

The telephone rang, in an automatic reflex I went to the entrance student residence to serve it.

'' Rainsford House, Almighty Saltcoats residence, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' person demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' Right look its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's Jack London chauffeur, I got some bad news. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' tone tell Mrs bridge deck that noble Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone ruin. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at capital of Seychelles around ten o'clock this morning and they said to go dwelling house when I got back, I reckon he legged it to France on the anatomy de Whore, '' he meant the Golden arrow power train, `` What do you think of bankrupt ? '' he demanded, `` Oh shit, I ai n't got no more centime tell Mrs bridgework, '' he said after the telephone pinged and suddenly it went dead Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only decent thing, '' Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The geartrain ferryboat to France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the total mother fucker ! '' my Lady cried.

'' Indeed my peeress, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally common soldier use of his lordship 's telephone was footing for instant dismissal but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the steer I booked a call to my bank in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` Family ash gray, '' in their guard deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my noblewoman protested when she saw me at the telephone when I should give birth shown Mr George Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How dare you ! '' she said, `` collect your matter you are dismissed forthwith ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can dismiss you with zilch ! '' she said, `` No defrayment, no reference, no character ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! acquire your things and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay lieutenant Carruthers and a few more I might advert ! '' I suggested.

'' No, colza ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the doorway and pushed her inside pausing only to abscond the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at least let me undo the hooks, this cost an absolute fortune. ``
'' Of course, '' I said, `` admit me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her dress, `` Be measured, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded titty bulged over her red girdle, her red knickerbockers enclosed by the suspender straps, and she stood up and laid the clothes carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's better, '' she said and she screamed, `` Rape, '' again several times.

'' Ot would appear the US cavalry is otherwise engaged my madam, '' I observed as I removed my highly polished black shoes to give away well worn pitch blackness air sock with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Department of Energy Lieutenant Carruthers remove his shirt and under shirt madam ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your stage business, '' she declared, `` Rape ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my crown and shirt front, slipped the composition board choker off and removed my undershirt.

'' Good lord, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my rainfly and removed trousers and underpants in a exclusive motion.

'' God, you are pleased to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my manhood as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her suspenders away from her stockings and pushed her breeches down before kicking them off her feet.

'' assault, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't hurt me will you, and there are some johnny 's in the dressing table.

'' They spoil the mo my lady, '' I explained, `` I shall mount you as the good lord intended. ``

It was nearly a calendar week since my live on night off, spent with two buxom lady of pleasure in the Town a wearisome ten long miles away by bicycle, and my want was expectant, and her protests were little but tokens.

'' Do n't anguish me, '' she asked again as I gripped her waist as I planted my knees firmly between hers and blindly aimed my humanness at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining humanity between her unseen twat lips and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the tactile property of her moist cunt gripping me.

'' I do n't know, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` estimable ? '' I asked.

'' a lot ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's better, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` nookie me, you 're going to prison for this so enjoy yourself ! ``

I started to mean of her as a whore, a beautiful fortunate haired high year whore, and then I remembered the smear lipstick and I determined to try her sass as well and I dipped my lips to caress hers.

Her tongue emerged instantly, running around my teeth, my intellect exploded and so did my cock jerking and pumping and flooding her role, and as our mouths parted she was gasping and muttering, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're bankrupt '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, rape or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My dame. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't look ruin, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing deputy ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me find unspoiled, '' she said, `` But then to be fair, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a nice common cold cell or me ? ``

'' What a choice, may I have a moment to call back my madam ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearing to maintain, '' she insisted and she went to dress again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a hubbub of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My lord. '' Binks the head gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his lordship 's bankrupt, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs span asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to digest behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no intent of leaving so soon yet there was small point in remaining, `` We need to verbalise, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you drive ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll drive the cast, '' she insisted, `` The shooting Pteridium aquilinum ! ``

We left that same evening, her luggage stowed in every spare infinite it that huge crudely overbodied travesty of a luxury car so fully that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you suggest ? '' she replied.

'' Well I doubt cooking or cleansing is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, prostitute, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' separate beds ? '' she asked, `` I 'll call you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for oeuvre ! '' I joked.

I could n't trust her, I never really intended for her to suit a harlot but could not risk telling her the truth, maybe I should have, but I didn't.

You see three year before my father had made arrangements for me to wreak in the United nation of the States, to read about the American arrangement of banking which seemed so greatly master to ours, and while there the great crash of 1929 erupted through the whole economic system.
I was working at a metier size metropolis bank as a form of supporter managing director, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to happen all at once.

Ordinary hoi polloi, regular kinsfolk waited in a parentage right down the street and you did n't want to be a adept to work out we had not even a one-tenth of the money those masses thought they had in their chronicle to pay them. We started paying out in the cockcrow and by twelve noon the hurdle was hollow, except that is an innocuous composition board box of big value bills which somehow found their way in my locker, for rubber keeping you understand.

Ted Adams chief cashier and Jim McFadden the manager came down the bank Asaph Hall all glum faced, `` Shut the doors Jim, '' McFadden said to the safeguard, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a about public violence, I slipped out the punt way with my box and in all the confusion I swapped my twenty dollar bill seven Buick for the janitor 's bicycle and coat and I rode off down the street on that bike with about a half million dollars in that cardboard box balanced on the cross bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north W towards New York City on the even train.

So what do you do when you have half a million dollar mark of soul else 's Cash ? Why get a job of course.

Except the world and his Brother was looking for a job, so I bought some article of furniture, put my box in a sideboard, had it crated and arranged dispatch to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed habitation 2nd class.
I had my crate put in storage and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the states, changed my name to Alford and forged some references and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some country air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my references were forged, she thought she could plunder me any time and that would stay fresh me in line and stop me telling her husband about her lovers.

But now I had half a million dollars to spend, without being noticed.

We found a nice fiddling apartment, it was over a betting shop in the Harrow Road, the estate agent had C of hollow properties, we could remove our pick.

She had nest egg, we pawned some of her jewelry, we painted the flat, bought beds article of furniture, I had my poppycock from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a real number team.

Then when we were all set to open I told her my plan, `` Look, '' I said one evening after a particularly long and gruelling session in bed.

'' I know, Mister flopsy is tired, he needs a candy kiss, '' she said as she bent to buss my dampen penis.

'' My lady, you do n't demand to kip with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollar sign to launder, you just say an eccentric American paid you in dollars. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the work, we were going to get a maid, bulge small, build up, two or three gentlemen a night to start with. ``

'' We can just use it as a cover song, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't want ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously remember you satisfy me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr floppy always needing a suck to kick start him, for heavens sake ! ``

'' You want to be a whore ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a valet in forty minutes and a handmaid in ten. ``

'' At the same time ? '' I queried, `` One up the rear passage ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the sums, even with a few mean solar day a month when we need a stand in we will make a putting to death ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your turn, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need more. ``

We heard nothing of Lord Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The dame 's Boudoir '' one evening in September 1932.

The name was stencilled on the doorway beside the betting shop an inside the threshold we had a John Wilkes Booth where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the buttocks of the stairs and then I would recognise the valet, take their lid and glove and stand in attendance in grammatical case they needed assist with dressing and always preserve discretion and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid morning time cashbox after midnight while a taking over of men used her, `` Good day sir may I film your hat ? '' I would ask and get a insulting public eye in return as gloves were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached agreement for the betting shop class to be our waiting room, every day there was my lady, answering to any name under the sun, frolic acting the honeyed heart, legs astride, bitch glistening. mammilla distended, bathed in exertion like as not and then dragging some one-half naked gentleman minus pant and underpants but like as not retaining socks and sock gallus to her as she grasped his rampant appendage to aim it within her or absorb it to aliveness or culmination.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, time after time, week after week, month after calendar month until every ounce of compassion I had for her was ground to nothing by the friction of genitalia upon crotch.

I rented a family for us in Middlesborough bench so we could get away from her oeuvre, but she was always too tired so I had the other sleeping accommodation converted to another work room, au naturel floors and a simple mattress.

They paid extra for the simple mattress, the more soiled it got the better they liked it because it stopped being valet and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to be intimate a fine peeress on a soiled mattress.

'' Maybe you would choose standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a moment of reckless sarcasm.

'' And how much extra would that be ? '' the cranny asked quite seriously.

'' Double, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll have that ! '' he agreed.

She used the courtyard, the ginnel was too populace and she wore a span of sprocket and a handmaid smock, sometimes we had three men waiting while a one-fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the lady, if she remembered to keep her mouth shut, when not clamped around a customer 's member that is, she was delicately, except it made too much work for me keeping an eye on two whores, taking money and everything.

One night a Irishman asked me to make love him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an approximation, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an advertizement in the window and got ten question in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked zip better than wearing a bird with aught under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie accent betrayed him and he relished the approximation of ramming his nitty-gritty up gentlemen 's backsides while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely capable so I left him to it, and gradually did lupus erythematosus and less time at the Boudoir and he became more or less the director while I planned my side by side move.

I went to British capital and became delayed with my affairs and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` man want variety sir, I got some new miss in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the unharmed reason ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a harlot, sir. I never thought she was your exceptional sporting lady. ``

I went out to seek her, I asked around until I heard of someone bread and butter in a hut by the railway and earning a crust from plate layers and the like.

I had to find her and bought a bowler hat and smock coat like a railway official and marched down to the track yards.

There was no sign of her, but then a lucky stroke, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' someone asked a device driver as his slip ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the lady, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the prospicient distance men lodged before returning home, and there I found her naked but for a coat open at the front sitting on an locomotive engine man 's locker hearing to the tales of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the house, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to charge more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to ease, '' she said, `` They make me sense wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde whisker seemed to be silvering, her clamber once like alabaster now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll keep an account for your money, you know where to get me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in Monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each former after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scotsman had her in his coal dusted weapon and his inglorious hands ran through her hair and his black lips brushed her crimson lips and it was more than I could tolerate to see.

I hid my tears and left her even as she gasped in blessing as her Scot lover took her to heaven once more .