This is the first story of a much longer story arc, which is best read in the order of the List at the end.

Translation of German words or phrases at the end. However, I have tried to make the substance fairly clear in context.


It's almost 2 long time after the Battle of the Golden gate bridge circuit. In accession to being an X-Man, Kurt has recently begun commandment classes at the School.



PROLOGUE : morn DEVOTIONS
Mein Gott, is the sun coming up already ? ! Yes, it must be. The window are getting visible radiation. Pfui ! It would be so nice to remain here in bed, with the heat of Mount Logan's body stuffy against my rear. Why did I tell storm I would teach the German course so early in the sunup ? I should birth remembered how much I hate getting up early, especially after Logan and I spend most of the nighttime enjoying each other in so many different ways.

Oh well, it is almost time for the alarm clock to go off anyway and that would surely have awakened Logan, who does not involve to get up for many hours yet to teach his Danger Room class.

Regretfully, I extricate myself from his arms. I would much rather appease right here to wake up him up in a very different manner.

As I struggle out of bed, I wonder, as always, if Logan is just pretending to be asleep. After all this time, he knows how grouchy I am in the mornings. wagerer to avoid me entirely. I must confess to envying him lately, still snug in bed as I get up, shivering in the early dayspring chill as the air hits my bare skin. Maybe it would be salutary if I wore pajamas ? Nein, I know what would happen if I did. I can not give to buy a new pair every night just because he likes to strip down me with his claws.

I quietly pull the bathroom room access closed behind me, heading for the shower. After I turn on the water to let it warm up, I go to the can. As I stand emptying my bladder, I look out the modest window and see the snowy trees on a section of the estate. Being on the tertiary floor of the building, I can see for quite a space. It would be a lovely view if my eyes were not so blurry. Oh well, a hot shower will fix that and exit me to a greater extent alert.

Has it really been a little less than two years that I have been living here ? It seems like forever. I can not believe that I feel so at domicile.

I shake my read/write head in wonderment as I shake off the last drib of pee, then step into the exhibitor, which has finally gotten around to producing hot water.

Gratefully, I step into the warmth of the shower and let the water rush over my back while washing my tomentum. I start soaping my chest and the front of my consistency, then turn around. The sudden impact of urine hitting my member makes me pant, as the associate jolt of desire tenses my muscles and creates that wonderful feeling deep inside me. I play back the memory of the night that is now ending, feeling again Logan's finger's breadth, his mouth, working on me, opening me with his cock, filling me with pleasance and cum. The ache grows within me. Forget the verdammt class. Let me just go back to Logan. We could -

No, Kurt. arrest it. Stop it right now. tempest will wring you out and hang you up to dry if you fail to come out for your family. Most especially so since the student will all receive a pretty soundly idea of why I am not there and what I am doing. Sometimes there are disadvantages to being honest and open up about one's sexuality.

Reluctantly, I turn off the rain shower, wrapping a towel around my shank to monish my stiffening peter's obvious intentions.
I get set quickly and quietly in the dim bedchamber. Suits and draw have never caught on here, except for Professor Saint Francis Xavier himself, give thanks goodness ! I do not even have to wear shoe if I do not want to - and I do not.

Just before I leave the room, I go over to the bed to ascertain on Logan. As long as I am lying beside him with one of his arms draped over me, he tends to lie still. However, when I am not there, he tosses around so much that he either gets tangled in the covers or loses them entirely. And let us not even talk over what he does to the cover version when he has one of his frequent incubus !

This morning, he is mostly au naturel except for part of the blanket that is draped artistically over his branch as he sprawls out on his spine. The blanket affords him no modesty, as it stops short just below his privates, as if it wants to draw care to them, rather than conceal them. Fondly shaking my head and swallowing my lust at this vulnerable presentation, I bend forward to grasp the mantle and pull it up over him, only to line up myself grabbed by two secure weapon system and hitch forward onto his chest.

"Gotcha !"he exclaims triumphantly, his rima oris covering mine before I can even call back up a retort.

Our tongues are soon exploring each others'mouths, as my barely subdued desire asserts itself once again. I have just started to roll myself around him in earnest using every appendage I have, when I feel a sharply hell dust against my bottom. Logan breaks away from our osculation, a truly evil grin on his face.

"Naughty, naughty, darlin ’. Get going now or you'll be late for class."

"Zum Teufel, Logan !"I curse as I leap off of him as fast as I can, while he laughs heartily."What did you do that for ? !"

"To get a rise out of you."

"Vell, you have certainly done that."I snort with disdain, glancing meaningfully down at the very visible bulge in the battlefront of my jeans."Vhat am I supposed to do about this ?"

"Save if for later, Elf. I guarantee we'll find a use for it then."

He laughs again as he picks up the alarum clock, pointing a finger at it and ostentatiously showing me the sentence."Better get going, Herr Lehrer, if you expect to attain it to form before your scholar do."

Damn the man ! He knows wide well how I feel about morning, and still he harasses me like this. Then I shake my read/write head. It truly is rather funny, the way he is lying there desolate naked, an warning signal clock in his hired man and a cockamamy smiling on his face that is highly uncharacteristic of him. I start laughing myself, unable to maintain my anger.

"Later,"I agree, matching his airheaded smile with my own mouthful of dentition."And I plan to hold you to that promise."

As I turn to the doorway, I hear him say,"I'm countin'on it, darlin ’. I'm countin'on it."


SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT


Often I awake in the heart of the night to the feeling of Mount Logan's deal on my physical structure. It is a delicious sensation, really. Still half asleep and happily drowsy, that familiar thrill runs yet again throughout my being, rapidly focusing inside me, just beneath the base of operations of my stiffening sex.

The warmness of his body fitted snugly against my book binding fills me with a sense of security and safety. Somehow, he always ends up sleeping between me and the door, no topic where we are. I know full well that he does it to protect me from any peril that may move into the room, and it pleases me that he will rate his perdurable body in harm's way for my interest. But we both know without it ever being said that he himself is my greatest danger at Night, with the leaf blade that leap out and stab as effortlessly and automatically at the imaginary furor and care of his frequent nightmare as in the front of substantial danger.

Tonight however he is not moaning and thrashing in the hairgrip of his dreams. Tonight his hand gambling lightly over my chest, tracing the scarred conception I have carved into my material body, his face nuzzling against the dorsum of my neck opening, his tongue tasting my skin, and his wind doubtless noting the beginnings of my arousal.

Quickly, before I can get caught up in the delicious star, I say a orison of thanks to God for having the man that I love more than anything else in this world here beside me. So what if we have been having a few disagreements lately over the solo missionary station Logan goes off to do, the unity he will not talk about even after he is home ? Even if I have some estimate of what is happening and I dread the day that secretiveness is broken ? Give me the posture to deal with this, O Lord, as I have dealt with so many things before.

With that prayer, I dismiss the worry that have been feasting on me lately, especially when Mount Logan is away on one of those fear missions. Somehow, it will work out. I will focalise instead on his unmistakable desire for me, here, now.

From foresightful experience, I know what he will do next, his work force drifting inexorably lower until he reaches my swelling hammer, while his coxa move, rubbing his own erection against the small of my spine, just above the base of my tail. It feels so undecomposed, but I force myself to stay still, pretending to be asleep.

His digit graze the scarred design on the shaft of my penis, but that is not his destination. He moves on, past my tightening sac, until I feel a finger sliding between my buttocks and rubbing lightly around my anus. The finger deserts me briefly, then returns cool and wet and slippery to resume its attribute task. My keister, which has long ago angled itself sharply downwards to occupy the narrow down slot of infinite along the mattress between our bodies, get-up-and-go down even harder against the shroud in an crusade to get out of the way. The tip twitches slightly as the circling finger enters me.

So far, neither of us has said a word. If I continue to simulate eternal sleep, there will soon be another finger's breadth joining the beginning. Ja, he does that now. I can not aid but smile. He will not spend too much time on this. Soon will come his cock to replace the fingerbreadth. And I am easily make for it, ready and eager to feel him inside me.

Logan surely knows I am waken by now, but I play the usual game, pretending until it is impossible to pretend any longsighted. It is not really necessity for him to do this much stretching before he enters me. After all, we have been having sex for almost two years and I can easily take him without the prelim fingers if I am aroused. In fact, I can and throw taken him without lube and from a cold commencement, simply because my eubstance has been trained to slacken quickly when necessary. It is not like he has the expectant shaft in the existence, you know, although some people seem convinced that he does.

opposite to popular stereotype, all mutant males are not hung like horse cavalry, and neither Mount Logan nor I are exceptions to that rule. While my penis is about average in duration when it is erect, it is rather slender. Mount Logan has a slender advantage over me in length, and he is wider in girth, but neither of us can retain a candle to the typical porn adept.

Be that as it may, he will still enclose those fingers, insisting he only does it to wake me up. It feels near, so I do not try to give away him of the habit. Surely now he is finished with this and his cock will --


Nein, another finger. Not the usual subprogram. Still, not a problem. My anal retentive sphincter is almost as flexible as the rest of my body and I learned long ago how to check it fairly well.

Logan's fingers are far from being dainty and small, so by the time he starts probing with his quaternary finger, I can palpate it as a bit of a reaching. I could experience taken his cock easily to get with, and he knew it. What on Earth is he thinking ?

No more games."Logan, was machst du ?"I ask, becoming impatient.

"Don't worry about what I'm doing, Elf. Everything's OK,"comes the amused-sounding response.

All right, so what comes succeeding ?

He slowly spreads his fingers apart. It hurts, but only a little. However, something else about this feeling is beginning to irritate me. It reminds me of - of what ?

Logan must make smelled something change in my scent. His fingers become still."Ya OK, Kurt ?"

"Ja. fine. But vhat are you doing ?"

"Ya make love what handballing is ?"

I wake up very fast at that. With four fingers up my ass already, he is clearly not referring to the sport."Fist-fucking, nicht wahr ?"

"Yeah, you got it."

The paradigm of being impaled on Logan's large hand and well-muscled forearm news bulletin before my centre. A stab of fear strikes unexpectedly through my heart and affright floods my mind. Every heftiness in my torso jerks to attention."You are planning to do that to me ? !"

"right wing again, Elf."

But he sounds a little uncertain now. He has to have smelled my sudden fear and noticed the way my trunk has clamped down around his finger's breadth so hard that it hurts me, not to mention him. He had surely not expected that kind of chemical reaction. Neither had I.

"What's wrong ? It's not like I'm asking you to let me tie you up and torture you."

And he is correctly. It is not anything truly dread. So why am I so tense ? This is Mount Logan, the man I love. The man to whom I give my trunk on a regular basis, and not always only for gentle and caring sex. He can be pretty fell, if he is in one of his moods.

"I know. It is just that -"My voice dies out. I do not even know the rest of what I have started to say.

"Elf, if ya keep this up, my fingers will be going benumbed real soon. You can fasten your sphincters harder than anyone I've ever known. Which is usually a good thing."

I could project the slightly pained expression that he would induce on his face about now, and the prototype almost makes me laugh. Determined to quit acting like a terrorise virgin, I take a twosome of sluggish, thick breathing spell, letting myself relax again.

Logan gives a relieved sigh as he slides his finger out. He could have jerked them free sooner, but that would hold hurt me bad than it would him, and he knew it.

"I am sorry, mein Schatz. You - took me by surprise, that is all. I over-reacted."I shrug my shoulders as if to make little of it, then change by reversal around to look him. Enough of this nonsense, Kurt, you dummkopf ! True, you have never been fisted, but you have had more than enough sexual experience to be able to cover such a affair without excessive concern. What are you thinking, to allow yourself to panic so easily ? There should be no query in your mind that you can do it. But do you want to ? That remains to be decided.

I snuggle up against my honey's position, resting my brain on his across-the-board and very hairy chest.

"You have done it before ?"I ask, suddenly becoming Mr. Practical.

"Yeah. several times."

OK, then at least he knows what he is doing.

"Don't worry, Elf. I'm not gon na draw you if you don't want me to. Tell me to block off, right now or anytime later on, and I will. I swear it."

Since we have been together, Logan has done many things that have left me injure and sometimes bleeding, but never against my will. There was always a point where he had asked my permit, even if only in a brief meeting of our eyes, so I know he means what he says about it being up to me.

But there is a strange intensity in his articulation that I have not heard very often.

"This is important to you, ja ?"

"Very important."

"Vhy ?"

"It's a way for us to get secretive. For you to finger something very special."

That was nothing like what I had expected him to say. Logan is not the one usually concerned with getting us closer, except perhaps physically.

"What is it I am supposed to feel ?"

"If I told you now, you wouldn't understand. Ask me again afterwards."Belatedly, he continues,"If you decide to do it."

Now I am intrigued. Not only intrigued, but curious and matter to. Just the thought is adequate to give my drooping dick a new lease on animation. It is more than gear up to get hard again, if my mind gives it the go-ahead. In fact, I realize that it is not even waiting for that signal.

The look of focused tending on Logan's face is plenty to cause me decide. He has some cause for wanting this. Maybe he thinks it will fix the misunderstandings that we have been having lately.

"Do it,"I declare firmly, before I can transfer my mind.

He sits up, looking down at me through the darkness and shadows that fill our room. A narrow shaft of moonshine peeks around one corner of the window, lighting the bound of the bed.

I half-duck my drumhead and glance up at him from under my eyebrows, smiling slightly. He never can stand firm me when I do that.

"Ya sure ?"

I nod, but that is not enough to win over him. Maybe he can stand me after all, if he feels something is really serious.

"facial expression at me, Elf. I want to see your heart. I want to know you mean it."

I do as he asks. I know my center have started to glow. They always do that when I become aroused or exceptionally caught up in emotion. Very often it happens even while I am praying. I know, because I can feel it as it begins, like a pleasant warmth behind my eyeballs.

"I am sure as shooting. I vant it."My voice now carries the Saami article of faith that my centre do. I do want it. Badly. But I am not certain exactly why.

The strong finger's breadth that had so recently retreated from my ass now begin massaging my neck and shoulders.

"You're still awful tense, darlin ’. Lie on your stomach and I'll rub your back."

As you can guess, I do not hesitate to comply. Never refuse the crack of a backrub, especially if Logan is the one doing it.

By the meter he gets down to my tail, I have practically dissolved into the tabloid on our bed.

His mitt finally reaches between my legs to my cock, his fingers running again over the scars on the shaft as they had before. I can usually count on him doing that, as if they fascinate him somehow.

"You keep promising to tell me what sin this represents,"Mount Logan whispers softly against my ear.

I put him off with my usual reply."I vill enjoin you - but not now. Some day."He would just have to be content with that. When the metre is right, I will tell him. It just never seems to be right.

He slides my foreskin back as far as it will go, touching the tip of a finger to the exposed glans. I gasp.

"I'm surprised you haven't sliced up this part of it too,"he goes on, sounding half amused but also half serious.

"That even I could not do,"I tell him, numb serious.

He turns away from me and I hear him opening the drawer in his nightstand, fumbling around with something."OK, I'm gon na put on gloves to do this, so don't be surprised."

I coup d'oeil over my shoulder, then have to stifle a laugh when I catch raft of Logan's hands in bright neon gullible nitrile glove, as he holds them out in the Moon to render the garish color."Vhere did you get those ?"

"Where do you think ? The infirmary. Can't say I like their choice of people of colour, though. clangor with your skin."

I did jape at that."Vhy gloves ? I can not beguile anything from you anyvay, vith your healing power, and you certainly can not fascinate anything from me for the Lapp reason."

"Yeah. shuffle it nice, don't it ? We never have to vex with rubbers."He grinned."But my men ain't exactly soft and tranquil, Elf, and even filed down, fingernails can do damage to a man's interior. You don't heal like I do, so --"He holds up both burnished super C handwriting like a surgeon about to go into surgical procedure"— safe precautions."

This time, I feel no urge to joke, which is probably for the best.

"Now lie down and relax, darlin ’. You wan na be on your backrest or facedown ?"

"Uh - vhat vould you suggest ?"

"I'd suggest a sling, but we don't have one. Failing that, on your back with your legs extensive apart. Oh, and the tail off to your leftfield, so it's out of my way. If ya whack me with it at the awry time, I won't be responsible for the consequences."

I giggle and duck my head a little. ( Ja, I do giggle, especially if I am queasy. )

Logan smacks me hard on the outside of one thigh."I mean it, Kurt. Fisting ain't just fun and games. It can be grave. Particularly with me."

I comply, no longer even smiling. I know very well what he means.

He surveys the results of my assuming the position, commenting only"tinker's dam ! For you, wide apart is really wide. Good."

"Now listen to me,"he goes on sternly, staring into my glowing eyes."If you want me to stop over, really stop right then and there and freezing in shoes, just say, ‘ Matte !'”

"Um - MAH-tay ? Vhy that instead of just stop ?"

"Because it's different. Stop can be used by accident, or if you don't really mean it, or for other intellect. Matte is the Japanese command to stop that's used in the fashion of Martial artistry I was trained in. It's a watchword I'll react to, no thing what. Got that ?"

"Matte. Ja, I have it."

"That's your safeword. Don't forget it."

Safeword. I have heard about that being used for S & M activities. But I have never had anyone actually yield me one. I swallow nervously. He is not kidding about taking this seriously.

By now, I am staring at his green-gloved hands and having misgivings about all of this. His claws -

He sees the look on my face."I know what you're afraid of. cartel me. It ain't gon na happen."

trust him ? That is what it all comes down to in the end, nicht wahr ? And can I do that ? All too often, I have seen him lose ascendancy, seen the equipment casualty those scalpel-sharp adamantium brand can do, seen the amount of blood dripping off of them when he was finished doing it.

I hear his voice in my intellect."I'm the respectable there is at what I do. But what I do best isn't very nice."With those few Son, my lover has often stated the BASIC struggle that haunts his tortured soul, and our sometimes-tortured kinship, and I am not trusted he even realizes it.

But those deal - with the nipper that could eviscerate me in a pulsation - can sometimes be so blue and tender when we are making love. I know he would die before he would seriously hurt me. I also know I owe my life many times over to the skill and swiftness of his so-dangerous hands.

Ja, he could vote out me if something went wrong. But last can chance at any metre. Is this any different, really ? No, it is not.

"Ich vertraue dir,"I tell him softly,"weil ich weiss, coney ich dir vertrauen kann."

"side, Kurt. I know some German, but I don't wan na have to think. Not now."

"Sorry. I trust you, because I know that I can bank you."

This time, he is the one who ducks his head teacher, so that I can not see the look on his case, or perhaps the tears in his eyes.

He comes closer, kneeling on the bed between my open leg and looking down. I feel obscenely exposed to his gaze, the darkness of the room affording me no blanket from his acute night vision. He cups my genitals in one hand, squeezing and releasing as he speaks.

"Fist-fucking is about the most intimate thing one someone can do to another. It can get to you in way of life you never expected, so don't be surprised or alarmed if you feel strange at clip. That's normal."

Already I am squirming at his touch, my breath catching between my teeth, as I reply,"Me ? convention ? Not in this lifetime."

He snorts and gives me a sarcastic smiling, then sits back onto his genu. My hammer aches to feel his cutaneous senses again.

"I know it's difficult for you, darlin ’, but try actual hard to keep your lip shut for a patch. All you've got ta do from here on out is get fucked."

His interpreter has changed, becoming small and rougher as it always does when he gets aroused. No more nice public lecture or middling speech, and he will tolerate no more fooling around. Time to get down to business.

"I'm gon na produce you stop intellectualizing, Elf. Gon na make you feel it."

His voice is almost a growl now. Definitely not clip for any more of my wisecracks.

He leans forward, looming over me. I close my eyes, as I usually do when he starts getting sober about screwing me.

I feel him rub a generous amount of lube on my opening, then he pushes a with child clump into me, following it immediately with a twosome of silky fingers.

I lean back and suspire, letting him exposed me. By the time his thirdly and fourth finger's breadth join the others, I can feel the stretch as almost pain sensation. He spreads his digit slightly. I make an inexplicable noise deep in my throat, something that sounds a lot like the infliction reply so beloved of comic rule book writer. Guess what ? Sex sounds the Lapp way.

"I love it when you make those randomness for me, Elf. I know you're not much for screaming and carrying on -"

My nous adds silently,"Because I have been trained to be quiet."I tell it to shut up. Be here, now, concentrate on this, damnit !

"— so the sounds you do crap are that much more crucial to me. Do it again. It only makes me harder."

His digit spread wider, but now I have bother going with them."Nngh !"

"surface for me, darlin ’. capitulation to me. I need to get within you."

Just as I need you inside me. Come on, Kurt. You have taken more than this before. Go with it. Let it happen.

"throw it to me, Elf ! Your ass is mine and I want it !"

He has folded his pollex to meet his hand now. The pressure is slow and careful, but relentless, as he continues to press into me. Each petite increment seems much larger than it could possibly be in reality. I can feel his knuckles against my taut and straining cocksucker. I am about to be ripped open. I will myself to relax, but that does no good. If anything, I clamp down harder. I am not surely how much more of this I can take.

"Bitte, full stop ! Just for a instant,"I am forced to gasp, not really dire enough to use the safeword.

"This is the worst section. It gets leisurely once I'm in."

"I know. Give me time to adjust."

He does so, holding his mitt in plaza but not forcing it further into me.

"You call the shots, love."His vox is tinged with disappointment and resolution."If you tell me to, I'll stop entirely and pull out."

"I -- do not -- vant that."I am panting now, desperately trying to pick up my breath.

For so long, this expression of sex with a man has been so easy for me. I could have into my body what few others could handle, even if there was little caring involved. How can I fail now, for the one I love ? I have to prove to him how much I care. I have to go through with this -- But I can not ! !

No, Kurt, you know in force. You know you can. So what is stopping you ? It has been so many years since you lastly had to consciously focus in order to open your body like this. So very many geezerhood since - since --


A memory echoes down those years, like a phonation I loved - and loathed.

It was my initiative clip being penetrated by an grownup male. I was six days old and, despite all the preparation I had had, I was suddenly very much afraid of the vast object seeking first appearance into my torso.

I tried to pull away, but Herr Grüber, having watched us approvingly up until this stage, held me down as his voice admonished me gently,"Kurt, Kurt, mein kleines Dämon-Kind, you know meliorate. One may never refuse a paying customer. And this man has paid a very generous monetary value to be your first."

"Nein, nein ! Ich kann das nicht tun ! Bitte, Herr Grüber,"I begged frantically,"Make him turn back !"

"You can take him, boy, but you've got to want to do it. commend what I taught you,"the vocalism went on, relentless and insistent.

"Bitte ! Bitte ! Nein !"

"still now. Stop fighting and relax. Listen to me. You are a swarm, floating through the sky. feel the sun warming you, expanding you. You are diffuse, jejune, immaterial. You flow from shape to shape as the winds play around your border. You can besiege and sop up anything that penetrates you. It's easy, floating along far above the earth, far above yourself. fancy it, small fry. Feel it."

My body responds automatically to those words, as it has been carefully taught to do. It works now, just as it had worked then, and so many other prison term during my childhood. I feel the melting, malleable sensation begin to course out from my center. I am a swarm, floating effortlessly along -



"Logan,"I whisper as the intuitive feeling reaches my breakwater,"Now. Oh please, now !"

He pushes gently, then harder as he meets my lessening resistance, twisting his hand just a lilliputian. Harder --

-- and he is in, my relieved sphincter now only encircling his wrist.

At 1st, he holds very still, as I gasp in a unknown compounding of relief and ecstasy.

"I'm not going in any deeply, Elf. Maybe when you've had more experience, but not now."

I almost do not hear him, so caught up am I in the loudness of the moment. His hand is in me. He is at bottom my body in a way I could never imagine, as if I had never been truly fucked before in my life story. The wiz is so deep inside me. Something has been opened in me that has never been opened before.

"Elf, you hear me ?"

"Ja."I have to focus and force myself to answer."I vant more. profoundly !"

"No."Implacable. word ended. My heart sinks a piddling."Listen to me. I'm gon na propel my fingers a little. Tell me if it hurts."

His fingers curl slowly. I can visualize them coming together to make a clenched fist."It finger too vonderful to hurt."

"That's all I wanted to know."He twists his hand just so, and fireworks explode in my gut. So unvoiced do I immerse what should have come out as a screaming that it is barely a stifled sob. I feel as if I'm choking on the excruciate sounds that force play themselves out of my mouth. But this is not even orgasm. Not yet. It is just a legal brief spasm of pleasure that consumes me for a here and now and is gone, leaving me wishing for more.

"Figured you'd like that, darlin ’. Now open your eyes."

I do it, thinking he just wants to see how a great deal they are glowing. But that is not it at all.

"aspect down here."

Again, I do as he says. Even knowing what I will see, I am nevertheless astonished. My eyes widen and my sass falls open. Seeing the look on my fount, Logan half-closes his centre and smile slightly.

"It's not every day you can see a man's arm buried in your ass, is it ? Especially one as tumid and muscular as mine."

The best I can manage is a nod. I know it, I can feel it, but I do not quite conceive it."Lieber Gott im Himmel !"I gasp."love God in heaven !"

"Yeah, I suppose one might say that."

His hand moves again with an in and out, twisting motion. I throw back my head and suck in a breath, automatically closing my eyes.

"Ya like that, huh ?"

"Aahh ! Ohh ! Ja ! !"

His voice is all I have to center on now, as my upheaval mountain. He repeats that small screwing motion rhythmically, over and over, until the muscles in my jetty are contracting and relaxing in clip with his deal. His thumb has found my prostate and is running back and Forth against it as his hand moves. My insides convulse around that keen pressure level. My seat is stiff and quivering violently. I am whimpering now, so close up to unloose that I can not even form words.

I hear Mount Logan speak, in that ragged, gasping way that means he is conclusion to orgasm also."Come for me, Elf. Come for me !"

I am thrusting my pelvic girdle rapidly, in time with that peaking rhythm. There is nix in my populace but sense, only his hand and my quivering innards and straining penis. The longing is almost unendurable, my mind blank to any other feeling but the need to accrue over this torturous edge. Oh, please ! Almost there. Almost -

His tongue runs up the underside of my cock."Ja ! O ja ! !"The rest of what I have to say comes out as a cross between a moan and a riot, as I come for him, my brawn clenching convulsively around that hard fist invading my ass as I ejaculate.

Logan is much louder when he comes. As I begin to relax, my noetic idea asserts itself once again. I open my centre and look at him, his body leaning forward over me and his rid hand wrapped around his spurting cock, as his cum joins mine on my abdomen and chest.

I watch my devotee's boldness as he too recovers. His script is motionless inside me now. He opens his eyes and sports meeting mine, then gives me that shit-eating grin that is never seen except at fourth dimension such as this. We are both pulling ourselves back together after the intensity of the experience, breathing strong and covered with sweat.

"So how do ya palpate ?"he asks at last.

Good question. How do I find ? Can I even begin to describe the indescribable ?

"I vish you could pass on so far into me that you could bear my heart in your hand."

The shit-eating grin got even Sir Thomas More smug."Ya see why I couldn't explain it before we'd done it ? It wouldn't mean anything unless you've felt it yourself."

"Vhy, Logan ?"

"Vhy vhat ? I mean, why what ?"

I ignore that 1st part. He often teases me about my accent by imitating it."Vhy did you vant to do that to me ?"

He looks up at the ceiling, a slight frown narrowing his dark optic. It takes a while before he can say anything, and the beginning is not too bright."Uh - Kurt ?"

"I have not gone anyvhere."

"What we're doing - some mass say it's a touching and interlocking of souls."

Mein Gott ! He wanted something that intense between us ? He could take in just told me. No, he could not, not him. Not in words, but only in the way he is accustomed to saying such things : through sex.

At a departure for a answer, I stare at him dumbfounded. When he meets my gaze, I know he can see far more in the fierce glow of my eye than I would ever be capable to put into words. Perhaps that is how it should be between us. Words, after all, are limited. Love is not.

"I did not call up you even believed in a psyche,"I say softly.

"Probably not the same way you do, Elf. But we've all got something inside us that seems to be the basic realness of the self. That's what I mean by the word."He smiles somewhat crookedly."Can I get away with using it like that ?"

I nod.

"Good. But enough talking. I'm not done with you yet, darlin ’. Not by a long gibe. Lie back, close your eyes, and stop thinking. Oh, and keep an eye on the bottom, will ya ? I've already had to swat it out of the way several times."

"I vill try. But I do not sleep together if I --"

"Shh, Elf. Don't talk. Just feel."

He opens his manus and I feel his fingerbreadth tickling me deeply inside."Ahhh !"

"That's better, darlin ’."

After that, I lose track of everything. How long I laid there impaled on his arm, I do not have it away. It is all one long stream of unlikely sensations. All he has to do is actuate a tiny bit, in or out, up or down, and it strikes new electric discharge inside me.

It is like a constantly pulsing spasm, but it does not end. Like an climax in dim apparent motion, waxing and waning, but always there. Several times it gather and peaks as I fall yet again into the legal brief Adam that is all we can know of heaven while we are here on earth.

Once I hear the vox of Herr Grüber speak to me out of the past. I struggle against it, telling him to be placidity, go away, leave me in peace treaty. But it does not ferment. He will not be silenced, and I must hear him tell me what a good boy I am, how much I have pleased him, that I am his precious devil-child, who will institute him a good deal wealth with my body. I want to maintain my ears to maintain the voice out, but I can not. Instead, I focus on Logan, whose hand is moving untiringly, inflaming the lust inside me. Mount Logan, my acquaintance, my companion, and my lovemaking. The yesteryear means zilch. It is over. Yes, I know these storage will need to be dealt with, but not right now. I want to scream. Perhaps I do scream."Go avay ! Go back to Hell, vhere you belong ! !"

And he goes, Gott sei Dank ! I return to my contemplation of pleasure.

I can not tell where I begin and Logan ends. This unvarying sensation becomes my world and I float blissfully within it. I lose adjoin with place and time, and exist only in this comfortable and comforting darkness. It pulses around me and inside me, like my heartbeat. At meter it seems to be the pulse of the stallion cosmos.

Eventually I give up on Scripture and just appropriate the belief to lap over me and soak up my senses.


Slowly, I become cognisant of Logan's representative, calling my name.

"Kurt ? Yo, Kurt ! Ya with me ?"

"Ummm. Ja ?"I manage to reply, resenting the disturbance.

"I'm gon na lead off to pull out now."

"Nein !"

"Ja, darlin ’. You've had enough for your first prison term. I can tell from how you feel inside. Don't concern, I'll do it material slow. It won't be anything like it was going in. You don't need to tug or anything. I'll do all the work."

But I do not want this to terminate. I want him to be forever in me, as he is now. As I feel his deal slipping out by small-scale increments, I do not desire it to be over. Yet I know it is no use protesting. He will do as he thinks he must, and he is probably right. aught can go forever. But, oh ! if only this one thing could !

And all this because a man has pushed his helping hand up my ass ? How could such a affair bring this a good deal joy ? If it had not been Mount Logan, would it still feel this way ? Yes, but no. The physical ace might well be the Lapp, but it is the trust and love between us that let me give myself to him so entirely, leaving me give up to enjoy it without awe or reservation.

Sex can mean everything and sex can signify zero. It can mean your greatest love life or it can mean just a way to have some fun. It can be intense physical pleasance or something you feel you have to forge. It can even mean pain and humiliation if you lean in that direction. It can be selfish or selfless. It can be a tiresome duty or an extol experience of holiness ; a financial dealing or the only thing that gives your aliveness import. It can entail life or death.

And all that is only what I have seen and known in just my own life-time. I am sure there are more than significance I have yet to discover, as well as some I may never see. All I know is that having his hand inside me is the most incredible matter I have ever felt. And I know how much it means to me, on many different levels and in many different ways.

I feel the stretchiness as his hand prepares to allow my body, but it is not nearly as irritating as it was going in. Yet I do not need this to hap. My organic structure responds to my emotions automatically, and my heftiness clench around his paw, as if trying to keep it there.

"Elf, the bum ! lay off it right now ! Relax !"

I realize my tail is trying to lash from side to side in ire and disheartenment, but since I'm lying on my binding and it is angled over on my bequeath side, the penny-pinching it can come is whipping back and Forth in front of me. Before I can even oppose, Mount Logan jerks his right handwriting out of my ass, simultaneously grabbing my tail near the end with his pass on hand, holding it away from him in an implacable bag.

By now, I have opened my eyes and begun to squelch the emotions that had clouded my mind. I become aware of the sting in my nether regions, where he had pulled his hired hand loose despite my tighten up sphincters.

"That hurt,"I start to protest, but then I catch good deal of his correctly hand, held rigidly down by his side with the blades extended."Uh - never mind. I am fine."

He retracts the blades, wiping his hand across his face to get the blood out of his eyes. There is a very nasty slash across his forehead. The edge of my tail must bear done that.

He shakes his read/write head with the piffling sideways saccade he uses when he is trying to send packing some damage he has taken.

"Damn ! I'm beginning to guess I'm the one who needs a safeword, not you."

"Tut mir so leid,"I apologize, glancing down."I do not know vhat came over me."

"I do, darlin ’. I told ya, fisting could make up a man flavour really foreign, call up ? No telling what a individual will do under those circumstances."

I know he is trying to make me feel better, and it does help a trivial. I still feel pretty dumb though."You can let go of my keister now,"I mumble.

"Ya sure ?"

"I am sure."But my fountainhead is still turn in shame over what I have done to him. It could as easily have been his eyes.

In the bit of silence that follows, I become very aware that his hand is no longer inside me. Where there had been fullness, I am now only empty-bellied and bereft. A part of me seems to be missing. I feel a strange combination of discharge satiation and tearing hunger, grief and elation. I am confused. What did I feel ? What do I feel ? Ich weiss nicht.

"smell at me, Kurt."

I force myself to obey that quiet mastery, staring him to the full in the face and smiling tentatively. The cut on his frontal bone is already closing.

"Damn, but I love it when you look at me like that, with your eyes so full of golden light."

I have a sudden itch to duck my fountainhead again, but I push it resolutely aside. dependable thing I did, as he leans forward and buss me. If I had ducked at the like time, I would probably have broken his nozzle. I kiss him back, of course, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him down on top of me.

Eventually we break the osculation and decide a rain shower would be a dear thing for both of us. By the meter we are fairly, dry, and again lying in bed together, the sick light of ahead of time dawn show at the windowpane, beginning to light up our room. I think about having to get up and teach a class, but then I recall that it is Sunday. No category. No penury to get up at all, if we do not want to. And right now, I definitely do not want to. I am not yet ready to face the workaday world outside of our bedroom. I search for the words to say, to tell Logan what this yesteryear night has meant to me, but before I can come up with anything, he clears his pharynx and overreach me to the punch.

"Uh - Kurt, beyond that hooey I said earlier about intertwining souls, there's another reason I wanted to fist you."

I keep quiet, hoping to encourage him to go on.

"Like I said, I know what it can find like. I - I wanted to know if it would be the same for you."Uh-oh. He is looking at the ceiling, not at me. He is going to say something he is not comfortable with."I hoped it would be."

Is he saying what I think he is saying ? I had assumed he only knew in the theoretical sensory faculty of the word, not from his own experience of being the one on the bottom. I can not help but try to find out."How vould you know how it feels ?"

"How do ya think ?"He is still staring resolutely at the ceiling.

"I find it backbreaking to believe you vould let someone do that to you. After all, you are only very seldom villing to let me be the top in ordinary bicycle sex, much less in anything like this."I add quickly,"Which is usually exquisitely by me, of course."

There is amusement in his voice, and his eyes finally cope with mine as he answers,"I have let them. Several times."

OK, so I was wrong. That happens sometimes."Really ?"

"Yeah, really."

Even now, Logan can still surprise me. I of all people should know that it is simply impossible to imagine what a man, or a adult female, will do in bed on the basis of how macho, or unmacho, they look or act in their regular lives.


"I've only done that with a few very exceptional individual, Elf,"he adds as I stare at him, once again too taken aback to make out up with a quick or clever reply.

All right, he is in an unusually confiding mood just now. Do I dare to raise the stakes ? Worth a try."Vill you let me fist-fuck you ?"

For once, I have surprised him.

"Um - Well -- It wouldn't be quite the same for me as it was for you, you know, since it's not potential for you to harm me that way."He sounds as if he is temporizing, giving himself time to recall of what his solvent should be.

"I realize that."

"You really want to do it ?"

"Ja."For him, the trust would signify something else. I could not hurt his body even if I wanted to, but I could very easily hurt his essence with goose egg more than than my words. He would have to trust that I would not look down on him for being made so vulnerable. It could mean a threat to his masculinity, that it might somehow change him in my eyes, if I were the one doing such a thing to him. He would have to be willing to resign ascendancy of the situation to mortal else. Yes, he said he had done it before, but he did not say with whom. Whoever they were, they might well have been more"extra"to him than I am. Or at least more than of a someone to whom he would finger easy relinquishing ascendence than I am. Say perhaps his Martial arts Master, or some other much-revered man. Or woman ?

It will not crush me if he refuses, but it will not delight me either, so I wait anxiously for his response. It is a long time coming.

"Don't you think we've both had about enough for one night ?"

No, I am not letting him off the hook so easily."But some day ?"I persist.

"Yes, I will. I'll let you - but not now. Some day."

Again, his answer surprises me. Perhaps it should not, considering that it is almost the same answer I always give him, when he asks about the sin carved into my penis.

"But the vay you just did it to me : ve vill do this again also, ja ?"

"Sure thing, if that's what you want."No vacillation there."But not on an everyday fundament. This is a special thing between us."

"And peculiar affair die vhen they become workaday, nicht wahr ?"

"Ya got it."

We are quiet again, as the room continues to gather in the light of the rising sun.

"Uh - Elf ? -- There's another special thing between us that won't die."

"And vhat is that ?"

"Being in your branch and in your body is the closest I'll ever get to God. No matter what happens between us, darlin ’, never forget that."

Astonished, I squeeze my eyes closed and try to swallow the tears of joy that threaten to overflow, knowing Mount Logan would not treasure my dissolving into a sodden hysterical fit of euphoria. I can cogitate of nothing else to do other than wrap myself around him in every way I can, and surreptitiously wipe my tears away on his all-inclusive and hairy chest.






German Translations

Mein Gott My God

Pfui ! Phooey !

Verdammte damned

Zum Teufel ! To the Devil !

Herr Lehrer Literally : Mr. instructor

Was machst du ? -- What are you doing ?

mein Schatz -- my gem ( my honey, my darling )

Dummkopf -- Dummy, saphead

nicht wahr ? -- isn't it ? ( Literally : not true ? )

Ich vertraue dir, weil ich Wei hyrax ich dir vertrauen kann. --
I trust you, because I know that I can confide you.

Nein, nein ! Ich kann das nicht tun ! Bitte, Herr Grüber ! --
No, no ! I can not do that ! Please, Mr. Grüber !

mein kleines Dämon-Kind -- my little demon-child

Bitte ! Bitte ! ! -- Please ! Please ! !

Lieber Gott im Himmel ! -- Dear God in Heaven !

Mein Gott ! -- My God !

Gott sei Dank ! -- God be thanked ! ( Thank God ! )

Tut mir so leid -- I'm so blue

Ich weiss nicht. -- I don't know.


STORY ARC - In Order

Something a fiddling Different
As the Twig is bent-grass
Pray for Us Sinners
With Nothing on My Tongue
You Win, Elf
Hell Hath No Eumenides