Back in the 18th century a humble page visits a jeweler's shop.


"So lets get this straightaway. You say Prince Charming wants a aureate dildo, 10 centimeters in girth and 40 centimeter in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jeweller and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"fountainhead we're right out of stock at present gallant,"the jeweller admitted,"We got off-white and ice, tan even, but gold with baseball field, well sorry squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"fair enough, how does Thursday go ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a mould squire, can't just decant molten gold down some pitiful Slovack ‘ s ass cakehole anymore, wellness and safety see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jewelry maker and not the Village retard ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, last year I come third in the small town half-wit contest, but I'm grooming hard for next year."

The jeweller knew a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime example. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love cunt.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock butterfly, bent as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the dame loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your skipper to come so I can score a moulding ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good spyglass one for twenty five Florins,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on invoice of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The drinking glass slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second manus, was the wife's mothers, pussy like a pail, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice opus and twice the size of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as page but he was not too lament on people thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with little girl with a talent for saying the incorrectly thing and when the clock time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too stir and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a fancy woman was generally considered to be a bad motion for the Royal syndicate PR wise.

"Your loftiness !"he blustered,"I have just had this capital idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this time ? Invade Russian Federation, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, off a dragon ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"Hold a ball !"

"baseball game, lawn tennis lump ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dance, a masked testicle, bid all the eligible dame,"Buttoni suggested.

"mother tried that,"Charming remembered,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this time we say you met your straight dear and she left a erotic love token and you have to discover her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sorting of souvenir ?"Charming asked.

"Her methamphetamine hydrochloride dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"Look !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a gravid feeding bottle of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the monster,"Wow, can you guess those spoilt pampered simpering frigid squawk Mother tries to palm me off with with that monster inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his bloomers as his cock swelled at the thought of it."And struggling to get the monster inside their tight pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hairy ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"trash Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can forget about having a orb, we'll say it happened at the last masked ball !"

"And you'll marry the lady friend it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my dependable sexual love at the masked ball and she lost her trash carpet slipper,"Charming explained to his female parent and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"Martin Luther King Jr. Harald suggested.

"It is bag money Father not capital account,"Charming lied.

"Capital, I mean fantabulous !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch bugleweed the local anesthetic free ads word tack and opened a low shop on Munchen street with a waiting surface area and a carrell with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the thigh length black leather boots with Au buckles variety of gave the game away.

"Hello, I think I might be the girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the working girl from Madame L'Oiseaux's institution stated boldly.

"Indeed, make out through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in camouflage.

"Is this yours my honey ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 dm long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody convolute !"Helga cried,"I thought you think of a shoe !"and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should bear slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong tack ?"

Just then a beautiful offspring girl stepped into the shop,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did wonder where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes terminal winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your upright friend ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed on frigid nights."the girl explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maiden Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the fille asked.

"He has just cum in his pants,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't matter I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a stupid disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you need to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't picture men, he doesn't fancy women, sounds perfect !"the girl explained,"And with a squeamish big dildo to play with even better."

"wellspring then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sack and suggested,"What do you recall of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's huge !"

Her heart were wide-eyed with avaritia as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo much nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth !"

She looked stave,"You don't expect ; You're not going to ascertain are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least lock the door first."

And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her voluminous skirts and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to find out ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the female child tried to get a finger's breadth up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you wet-nurse my titty ?"she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to reveal her impressive boobies.

Buttoni knack to the task,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the female child and began to fellate her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo good !"she cooed as low one then two fingerbreadth slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"Keep on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four fingers slipped inside her, then the unit of her midget script as she fisted herself.

The girl gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a magnanimous helping hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her bitch was dilated enough to take her fist the dildo was much too spacious to go more than 3 centimetre inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would avail ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches."helper yourself."

The fille looked at Charming's long pink perch. A pocket-size pearl of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The daughter smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, stretch your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girlfriend explained.

"Damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, calculate I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the daughter forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a young lady,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His cock slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a cocotte without having to view the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the girl complained,"Shoot your lode and let your page have a go !"

"Be unruffled I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to savor it,"the girl complained,"Another ten minutes then all rightfield ?"

Charming was not too surely he could hold on for ten minutes. The mountains of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an bird of Jove soaring above the roof tops. He was in heaven with the angels. He was swimming in the Rhine. He was cumming. A resplendent flood of cum burst from his cock and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I suffer a go ?"

"Of line it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my virtue to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of attestor, I'm home free."

"What ? you wanted me to have a go at it you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an Malus pumila, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you desire that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your pussy if you can't hire the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no subject what locating she tried it in she could not hale it more than 5 centimeter inside her.

It was no skilful. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The little girl quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the threshold.

"Where does that jeweller work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot diluent, get the estimation ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of puss to dilute ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to come back.

"Errr,"the young lady said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the female child out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the townspeople square."

"rightfulness,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take good turn to take my piazza !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you feel these people ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for lunch sign up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few dry pint of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the safety device Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four sales booth ins for the prince but a fill in royal body sentry duty for only a months pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a token governing body fee for every fille who tried the dildo and set up a money box on the shop class counter and a list of the scale of measurement of cathexis, including try twice get a third try free !

Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the back way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the excitement of watching young ladies trying to binge a 400 millimeter dildo up their pussy pale after a patch and within the month nigh of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after daughter ruined their virtuousness trying to fuck a lump of glass.

Sweet hairless pinko puss, big hairy cunts, neatly trimmed os pubis, untidy overgrown George Herbert Walker Bush, some with nick from shaving. Shy Danton True Young girls, raddled old hags, the aegir, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the demon even half way up.

Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to numerate the money.

The king was delighted, the queen exasperated and so sprightliness returned to convention with Prince Charming sneaking down the bordello every Tuesday Thursday and Sabbatum and poking the cook most mornings.

The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a commotion at the palace gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring entry to an irate vernal woman."Let me in !"a missy screamed."That Prince Charming motherfucker got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the miss howled.

"You're the young woman from the store !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned meter I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got fraught !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's spick innovation, of course it is !"she snapped.

"funfair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the girl to his mother's sitting elbow room,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the queen asked.

"No estimate,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my ally call me clinker because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a lesbian !"the queen regnant gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's knockout to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the queen asked.

"fountainhead lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the youngster comes out there is little uncertainty the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the poove asked.

"Its this big round,"the girl said as she described the size with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this jade !"the queen regnant asked.

"She is awless, wilful, likes cleaning lady so she's unconvincing to get off with a footman, she's ideal queer stuff,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and unconvincing to chase footmen do you ?"the queen regnant enquired.

"well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the pouf admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ Fuck'in the castle love,"the tabby explained,"We say ‘ Make lovemaking'much LE mussy don't you think ? So, cinder, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the girl insisted,"I just want youngster support."

"well I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the faggot insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and starve you until you're not pregnant any more. ``

"Oh well in that case,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will take to apply it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my night for the brothel, how about we get a take away knackwurst and stay in and watch the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes dear excellent estimation !"the poove agreed.

"Not you mother, cinder !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The pouf looked askance at the female child,"We will get the convey away and take in the handmaiden fornicating you, two, maybe three at a clip ?"

"Men or lady friend ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"Good god girl half the girls in the kingdom want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no suspicious occupation,"the girlfriend agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missioner would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the fille insisted.

"Not fucking dear, making beloved, it sounds so a good deal nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it last time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a fille,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a bathroom every Friday and uncontaminating underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this noted dildo, it does go rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each early and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

fountainhead the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 guilders for the first unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to see. The jeweller never did get paid and the smaller dildo he made is probably still in inventory. Buttoni married cinder's acquaintance Charlotte after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one night. The pouf had a replica glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the Rex spends his time talking to his plants in the garden and meddling in politics like kings do.

And therein lies the lesson of this fib, if you want to draw in, have a Bath and wear clean underpants