Chapter 1 :

The summer I turned twelve class old, thing started to change. I was always `` more developed '' than other daughter my age, and had a sense of due date not often seen in pre-pubescents. I only began to notice how older Male looked at me when my uncle drooled over his beer as I exited the pool with my brother. His leer caught me off guard, made me uneasy and unbalanced to my belly. lifespan continued, day to day, but I felt him getting nearer and nearer as time wore on. He partied at the house every weekend with my dad, he began to stay over dark, and then demanded I bring him a towel into the shower. These small instances began to hoard doubt in my mind. Eventually the tenseness between us culminated when my parents left us with him for the weekend. When night came, and the firm was calm down, he made a beeline to my room, I could hear his drunk shamble outside my door and I knew what was coming. The first rape was the most awful, I cried the balance of the night and into the morning. He took me over and over again in that first hour. His palm pressed hard against my mouth. His belt buckle left wale that did n't fleet for days and the bruises on my inner thigh kept me from my cavalry back riding. The next weeks until school began were my worst. I told no one and suffered through the showdown with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving cypher behind, none of my someone, no unit part of my organic structure untasted. I think this is the percentage point in my life where I became hardened against the world and it 's expectations. The wickedness relationship with my uncle continued until I was sixteen, when I began to contend back. I would fight, the beating would get bad. But when I fought back, I became shake. My pussy started to dribble then minute I slid away from him and made him overstretch me back to him. I kicked him and made my own back archway from the upheaval. When he slapped my face in punishment and called me a piddling loose woman, my nipples hardened. I bit his fingerbreadth extremely surd and he punched my humiliated back as he continued to hurl into my unwilling vagina. The moment his fist impacted with my back I came with victory. My first climax was wild and filled with abandon of a tortured soul released.He twisted my head around and with look of utter disgust, hurled me onto my bed and left the elbow room. I lay there, spilling my essence onto the bed with my physical structure shaking and desperately wanting to begin again, to sense the painful sensation and that pleasure simultaneously. I believe my uncle noticed the change in me, and when he realized he was in fact pleasing me instead of hurting me, he stopped. For him, the erotic tactile sensation stemmed from taking and not giving. My nature had been corrupted and by railing against him, I found my own pleasure. Many will view as this news report sick beyond the most twisted angle, but I am determined that I am not insane, just `` dirty '' or `` tainted '' by the world 's standard. It was a relief when his Brassica napus ended, but he left a black mug on me that will never fade. I have an insatiable desire for men ten to twenty class my senior, and fighting against the man fucking me roughly and harshly is the ripe height I can reach. I want nothing more, at this stage in my life than to be degraded as used as my dominant cooperator pleases. The outside of me is very prevalent. I am a Sophomore in college, an honors bookman, a published poet. I am five pes eleven inches tall and a formidable image to men my age. The sexual me is a submissive kitten that has to be taught repeatedly what she can and can not do. I thrive on pleasing my dominant and survive on the sexual arrangement of advantage and punishments. At 16, I was just beginning to comprehend my intimate power. When I first liberated myself from my abusive uncle, I thought I was actually sexually prevalent. It would be over five geezerhood later that I learned I was, in fact, a submissive. Up until that import I had convinced myself I let those men do as they pleased. A affectionately friend taught me that I needed those men to do as they pleased, in gild for myself to progress to utter satisfaction, paradise, and true intimate pleasure. I began as a rape case, a victim, a daughter. Though I consider myself still developing in my sexual endeavors, I have learned much, and I hope to contribution all my intimate exploits, in wet, sweaty, dirty, gamey point. I want to spread the knowledge that you are not alone in your submissive ( to the uttermost lifestyle ). You are, in fact, most likely in a majority. All powerful char want to be taken, dismantled, examined, and used for ultimate pleasure, they just are n't willing to accept it. I loved not being in charge, being perfectly lain to waste and I adored listening to the men as they finished with me and told me no woman had let them do what I had let them do. I have fulfilled phantasy, I have dreamed aspiration and then lived those dreams. If you are in the bus that I am going to hell in, perhaps you will stay tuned to hear of how my effort so began and how I came to be writing this narrative, at the request of my most recent and most satisfying dominant .