I 'm a 33 yr old man from Republic of Finland, living a more or less convention life.

I could describe myself with the following words : Intelligent, Adaptive, Cautious, Well-mannered, Introvert ...

Sadist.

Of course, the lowest one is a quality that I would n't mention in a fooling conversation. Not that I 'm ashamed of it, but I feel that it 's something that is almost universally deemed as an unambiguously bad thing ... Most of the reality 's population would probably find it very hard to talk over about that Book without getting negative tactile sensation - maybe even I as strong as hate and disgust.

And I do n't blame them - after all, we are talking about a perversion that indicates that I enjoy when other the great unwashed suffer ... I might even enjoy to be the source of that suffering.

So I do n't speak about it. I have brought it up only a couple of times during my whole life.

It 's about 20 years since I began to fantasize about spanking. I ca n't remember my exact age, but I believe I was in Junior high gear schooltime when I noticed that I was entertaining thoughts about smacking the butt of one of the girls on my class.

The illusion was so exact - that 's what I wanted to do. Of course, in that age, girl began to involvement me in other ways as well, but when it came to this one fussy schoolfellow, I seemed to make a especial desire. I do n't know ... maybe I just thought that she had an especially nice butt !

Once I remember seeing a dream about the situation that so fascinated me. It was a short dream ... I ejaculated and woke up after the low slap.

In world, I do n't think I ever touched that girl.

All and all I was a late boner with my sex life. I think I was a decently good looking guy, but I was also quite gloomy and I liked to keep to myself, and so experiences like that had to look for a few years more.

It was around that sentence when I began to drop Thomas More time in the cyberspace, and the theory that it granted to me opened many new doors for my little perversion.

I remember when I found `` Nu-West Debbie '', the spanking fashion model of a time long gone. When I looked at the pictures where she was paddled by the old lady, I could n't conceive the deep red color on her buttocks - it could n't have been real ...

But apparently it was ! In my judgment, I was contemplating about how a lot the swats of that paddle must have hurt Debbie. It fascinated me so ...

I often masturbated while looking at that series of photo. Of trend, Debbie 's nudity in those pictures excited me too, but the primary attraction was her red butt.

I also tried spanking myself. I found that I did n't revel pain in the ass, but it gave me pleasance to guess that all those women in the pictures that I found from the web had experienced equally intense pain as I did - or actually, probably even more intense bother, as it was very difficult to get much effect when spanking oneself.

A plain electric car electric cord worked well ! I took a honorable, heavy electric electric cord, folded it from the midsection and kept the oddment in my hand to form a loop, and whipped my own back from under my munition and over my shoulders. For those who have not experienced it, I can tell ; it hurts ! And it leaves welts and contusion for several days ...

Years went by.

I grew to be a more social person, I had parties and lived my sprightliness. Behind closed doors I scoured the Internet for pictures and videos about spankings and thrashing, never mentioning about it to anyone.

It was maybe around that metre when I identified myself as a `` Sadist ''. I also noticed that my sadism was of a very precise and limited kind !

Spanking and whipping - even very severe - aroused me greatly. But any early kind of violence or method acting to visit bother did n't do the trick.

Cutting and punching, for example, evoked flavour of disgust and angriness above anything else. I `` liked '' imaginary gun violence about as much as most young men do ( movies, video games ... ).

So spanking and whipping ( I like to keep these two concepts separated ) were my thing. The recipient had to be a woman, preferably a new one. Sometimes I sought material about men being whipped, because that interested me as well, but it was the whipping of cleaning lady that gave me fierce sexual pleasure.

It did n't matter much on which parting of a woman 's body the ten-strike were applied. pep pill back and seat were a very valid alternative, of trend, but breast-whipping also aroused be a great hand ( I am a `` Breast Guy '' ). thigh also did the trick.

There was a encompassing mixture of instruments that I liked ; cane, leather bang, paddle, long single-tail lash, cat-o-nine-tails, a bare medal of an open manus ... They all had their place in my fantasies.

At this spot I 'd like to note that my peculiar preferations did not affect my sex life. I was perfectly up to of enjoying sex without lash. I never met a woman to whom I would have dared to evoke the realization of my fantasy ... I was afraid of the reaction.

I purchased myself a plastic low temperature Steel Sjambok-whip. I did n't exactly hide it, so when my acquaintance saw it and asked about it, I explained it to be for my self-protection practices. It was a estimable explanation, as I was genuinely interested in martial humanities and simple weapon like the Sjambok.

In reality, I was craving to try the Sjambok out on a suitable target ; most desirably on the firm buttocks of some beautiful, young lady.

I tried it on my own buttocks, and I learned that it caused quite a lot of botheration even though it was almost impossible to strike my own behind with any seemly force.

Then I met my wife.

At a right sentence, during the ahead of time stages of our relationship, I presented the estimation of including spanking into our bedroom. It was about loose, more playful word form of spanking where I would smack her bum with the palm of my hired hand as a function of our foreplay. She seemed to care it well enough !

I bought a scourger from a topical anaesthetic sex shop, and we tried it a distich of times ... My woman did n't like it. The scourger was buried in my closet and from that point on there was n't much spanking in our relationship.

So my wife does know about my taste for spanking - but not the real extent of my desires involving harder whipping. She does n't sleep together that in my fantasies the skin of my partner is decorated with prominent whip marks, sometimes accompanied with dribble of blood.

At one clip, we entered a phase in our lives where my woman was working in another city.

I found myself in the Internet, looking for women for some discreet sexual adventures ... and I did encounter a very attractive maiden - one that was only 16 years of age.

She was still living with her parents, and because I was very intent on keeping my cheating a confidential, I refused to pay for her into my home ... So we met where ever we could, sometimes literally outdoors in the Dubya. This brought some very nice spare turmoil into our secret meetings.

The young woman was very amenable. Perhaps I had managed to make her very thoroughly, or maybe she just happened to be like that ; curious, fun-loving and eager-to-please. In any compositor's case, I took advantage of the berth. I never forced her in any way, but I noticed that I could talk her into just about anything.

Once, when the girl was performing some sexual favors for me in a cool summer night, I told her I wanted to spank her. After some short and simple persuasion, she was lying across my articulatio genus - face down and bare prat up.

That was the first fourth dimension in my lifespan I stroke somebody without holding back. It was only an loose hand against keister, but there was enough strength to really cause pain ... The palm of my hired hand felt like it was on ardour, the young lady let out some repressed shrieks and swore a piddling, and her bum assumed a very nice shade of red ( although it was quite dark, so I may take in imagined that portion ).

In the end, I had given only a few smacks, but the experience came to be one of the ripe I in my biography ! My orgasm after this little act of violence was amazing.

The young woman had n't liked the way I treated her that Nox, but we did meet a few more metre after that, so I guess I did n't cross any wrong lines with my actions.

When I met the missy for the last fourth dimension, she was out against her parents'compliments. I had the approximation of punishing her for her noncompliance, and I even pulled my leather belt out of my jeans, but that spot did not end up in spanking ... The girlfriend seemed genuinely scared, so I allowed her to talk me into some other, less painful activities.

Then, my woman came back to live with me and I parted ways with the girl.

Several years went by without any noteworthy sadistic upshot. In mystical, I was pondering about how to make more of my obliterate fantasies come to life.

I was living in a dear relationship. I did n't really finger the need to search for sex outside of the relationship ... but my unrealized fantasies bothered me.

I began to think paid companions.

I knew that the rules would have to be well established from the beginning. I began to look for an escort, and in my subject matter I explained exactly what it was that I wanted ; activeness that caused severe pain and left seeable bruises for various days.

Not surprisingly, it was n't light to find women for this.

To stimulate it even more difficult, I had some standard ... I thought ; if I was to pay for the experience, I wanted everything to be as much according to my preferations as possible. The womanhood I wanted had to be young than me with a slender build.

I found a Cy Young, Eastern European woman who appeared to be working as a working girl in Suomi. She agreed to be spanked with an open hand, but nothing more. I was so eager to get to a greater extent experiences that I hired her anyway.

I met her, and I spanked her unbelievably house rump with full-of-the-moon force, causing her first to giggle nervously, then to writhe, and then to twist around and stop over me from continuing. She did n't see any Finnish, and her English language was so piteous that I 'm not sure if she even understood why I was doing that to her ... it bothered me.

The encounter was arousing and pleasant, but something was missing. I wanted to do to a greater extent ! Furthermore, I decided that the following bodyguard must be able to understand me better.

Finally, I found a near candidate : a 23-year old Finnish student, who appeared to be in some kind of financial troubles. According to her impression, she was very pretty.

We exchanged some subject matter and spoke on a earphone. I told her what I was looking for, and to my great amazement, she reacted quite calmly and favorably. Obviously, she needed money badly. Her only business was that she did n't want `` combat injury that need to be stitched, or anything like that '' ... I could n't believe my ears !

I met the woman on that Sami eventide, and that evening turned out to be perhaps the most memorable one in my life.

When I left my abode, I took with me the two instruments that I knew would `` act '' ; the Sjambok-whip, and an antenna cable about 6 feet long.

The young woman was pleasant, small and beautiful. I believe she had taken some sedatives while waiting for my reaching, as I found her demeanour somewhat artificially calm and soft. This disconcerted me at for the first time, but when I talked to her a trivial and looked around in her nice and clean flat, I decided that everything was delicately. Perhaps the madam had just become extremely nervous of what was about to go on ( understandably ), and wanted to calm herself down.

I used the instruments that I had brought with me with almost entire power. whip swooshed and snapped, the woman screamed in tears, her tegument was bruised and welted ... and all this made me incredibly excited.

The Sjambok was very effective ... I only gave 3 eyelash with full force.

I did n't dare to turn over any more, because each of those thong bit into the lady 's flesh with such military force that it left mysterious crinkle across both buttocks. stemma did n't run, but I felt wet in the welts ... perhaps some sort of interstitial fluid was oozing through the damaged skin.

The cleaning lady 's tranquilize manner was gone after the world-class two lashes.

She screamed after the third lash. It was n't a cry or a yell - it was a prospicient, ear-piercing scream that simultaneously aroused me, and scared me.

I took some picture show and videos from the berth. I had n't planned that in advance, but in the heat of the moment I realized that I wanted something to reward my memories ... I wanted to be able-bodied to relive the instant for decade to come.

When I left the apartment, I was a changed man. I was still very flighty ... it felt like I had just done something very wrong. But at the Saami time I was extremely quenched, and my erection was still very spectacular ( eventhough I had just experienced a mind-numbing sexual climax ).

The experience had lived up to my expectation ! In some heed, it had been even better that what I had dared to expect.

I never heard from the woman again. The ad with which I had found her disappeared from the website.

All of this was kept secret from my wife, of course. She had n't been home that night.

My spirit continued as before, but every time I happened to lay my eyes upon the feeler cable system behind our TV, or the Sjambok that I now kept in the cellar, the storage came back vividly. I could easily get an erection by just thinking about that evening with the poor student.

About a yr from this, I found a new char for the same purpose. This 26-year old woman was gaudy and sexy, and much more talkative than the previous one. She agreed to be beaten because she wanted to `` discover her limits ''.

I believe the bound were found. I used the Sjambok on her too. I also had a poor electrical electric cord with me, and the flogger that I had tried on my married woman. I found out that the flogger - eventhough it was a relatively light cat's-paw - could do pretty lovely impairment when I used it extremely hard.

But this adult female was considerably tougher than the scholarly person ; she would n't scream out loud. She only moaned and groaned in agony, which I found extremely hot. In the end, I got her to pour forth a few tears as well ... That 's when I realized that when the recipient was a `` tough girl '' and tried to refuse, the act of whipping her got even more amazing.

I exchanged messages with this woman for some time after our academic session. She even sent me some pic of her bruised buttocks ... what they looked like afterwards. The terminal such picture came 8 days after the trouncing, and her seat was still very much bruised, with the welt left by the Sjambok still clearly visible.

But I never managed to get her to meet me again.

Now, I 'm looking for the next prey for my desires. Some might say that I 'm looking for a dupe ... But I do desire to stress once more that I have never forced anyone to do anything.

I am a Sadist, but I 'm also a very disciplined and consistent person, capable of handling myself with enough mastery to live a normal life .