Chapter 1 :

The summer I turned twelve years old, things started to commute. I was always `` more germinate '' than other female child my age, and had a sense of maturity not often seen in pre-pubescents. I only began to acknowledge how aged male person looked at me when my uncle drooled over his beer as I exited the pool with my brothers. His leer caught me off guard, made me uneasy and spew to my stomach. Life continued, day to day, but I felt him getting nearer and nearer as time wore on. He partied at the house every weekend with my dad, he began to stay over Nox, and then demanded I bring him a towel into the shower bath. These little instances began to accumulate doubtfulness in my intellect. Eventually the tension between us culminated when my parents left us with him for the weekend. When nighttime came, and the house was silence, he made a beeline to my room, I could try his sot shuffle outside my door and I knew what was coming. The first assault was the most painful, I cried the rest of the night and into the morn. He took me over and over again in that first hour. His medallion pressed hard against my backtalk. His whang warp left welts that did n't pass off for days and the contusion on my inner thighs kept me from my horse back riding. The side by side calendar week until school began were my mop up. I told no one and suffered through the encounters with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving nothing behind, none of my soul, no completely theatrical role of my soundbox uninfluenced. I think this is the full stop in my living where I became hardened against the world and it 's outlook. The dark relationship with my uncle continued until I was xvi, when I began to fight back. I would struggle, the beatings would get forged. But when I fought back, I became arouse. My kitty started to dribble then minute I slid away from him and made him draw in me back to him. I kicked him and made my own back arch from the excitement. When he slapped my facial expression in punishment and called me a little slut, my mammilla hardened. I bit his finger extremely hard and he punched my lower back as he continued to thrust into my unwilling vagina. The bit his fist impacted with my cover I came with victory. My get-go orgasm was furious and filled with abandon of a tortured soul released.He twisted my head around and with face of let loose disgust, hurled me onto my bed and left the room. I lay there, spilling my gist onto the bed with my body shaking and desperately wanting to begin again, to find the pain and that pleasure simultaneously. I believe my uncle noticed the change in me, and when he realized he was in fact pleasing me instead of hurting me, he stopped. For him, the erotic feeling stemmed from taking and not giving. My nature had been corrupted and by railing against him, I found my own delight. Many will deem this history sick beyond the most pervert Angle, but I am determined that I am not harebrained, just `` dirty '' or `` tainted '' by the universe 's standards. It was a relief when his colza ended, but he left a black stain on me that will never fleet. I have an insatiable desire for men ten to twenty year my senior, and fighting against the man fucking me roughly and harshly is the well height I can reach. I want nothing more, at this stage in my sprightliness than to be degraded as used as my dominant partner supplication. The exterior of me is very dominant. I am a Sophomore in college, an honors student, a published poet. I am five feet xi column inch tall and a formidable figure of speech to men my age. The sexual me is a submissive kitten that has to be taught repeatedly what she can and can not do. I thrive on pleasing my prevalent and survive on the sexual system of advantage and penalization. At xvi, I was just beginning to compass my sexual abilities. When I first liberated myself from my abusive uncle, I thought I was actually sexually rife. It would be over five yr later that I learned I was, in fact, a submissive. Up until that present moment I had convinced myself I let those men do as they pleased. A dear supporter taught me that I needed those men to do as they pleased, in order for myself to reach thoroughgoing satisfaction, paradise, and lawful sexual pleasure. I began as a rape display case, a victim, a female child. Though I consider myself still developing in my sexual endeavors, I have learned much, and I hope to share all my sexual exploits, in wet, sweaty, dirty, mealy point. I want to spread the knowledge that you are not alone in your submissive ( to the extreme point lifestyle ). You are, in fact, most potential in a absolute majority. All powerful women want to be taken, dismantled, examined, and used for ultimate delight, they just are n't willing to admit it. I loved not being in charge, being perfectly lain to waste and I adored listening to the men as they finished with me and told me no woman had let them do what I had let them do. I have fulfilled fantasy, I have dreamed pipe dream and then lived those dreams. If you are in the bus that I am going to hell in, perhaps you will stay tuned to hear of how my effort so began and how I came to be writing this account, at the request of my most recent and most satisfying dominant .