Pedo therapeutic 2016.

Not about Pedos in military action but what happens to a convicted Pedo in an ordinary bicycle northerly English language town, where loads of immigrants have had sex with and even married minor girls. motherfucker. They deserve to die. Horribly.



I went looking for this clinic. The frontage looked pretty normal, 1950"LackOf"panache in concrete and glass.

"Halliwell and Birstall private clinic,"it said, so I went in.

"Hello,"I says and rang the bell.

"You a fucking pedo ?"some bored fucker with his groundwork on a umber table reading a porn mag in the succeeding room asks.

"Johnno Allthwaite thats councillor fucking Allthwaite to you,"I says.

"Look you a fucking pedo or what ?"he asks.

"No,"I says,"I'm from the council."

"So why not fucking say so, fancy a brew ?"he says getting up,"Having a bit of a rest, Tea Coffee, Tequila 4 X, Stella ?"

"No ta,"I says looking at his oily hands.

"Fucking oil leakage on me Norton,"he says,"You come to scrutinise the facilities."

"Word is you got 100 % winner pace ?"I asks.

"Thats right, ent lost one yet."he says proudly.

"Except we can witness any pedos who has actually had the work done ?"I suggested.

"Depends on your parametric quantity squire,"he explained,"Their all alive when they leave and we have no end in the Whetherfield or Greater Manchester area."

"rightfulness,"I says.

"heterosexual person up, de bollocked, cunted titted and all that gender reassignment turd and they are fine,"he laughed.

"What's so funny ?"I asked.

"Fucking County boundary streamlet along the Canal !"he laughed.

"So ?"I asked.

"fifty yards up route so if they can't walking there we stick them in the passage and let some other dopey bitch worry about it !"he said.

"So you are ?"I asked. I was getting to like him already.

"Nobby,"he says,"You want to see the facilities ?"

"That's why I came,"I agreed.

We went out back,"Operating theatre of operations one,"he said opening the threshold to show composition board boxes packed from ceiling to floor."Does a bit on Ebay,"he explained.

"Theatre two, much the same, and the workshop."

I gasped,"screw me !"There was a Norton ranger on a bike stand, and loads of bikes under bike covers. What looked like a warhead of motorcar puppet and a line of descent covered dentists chair with loads of straps.

"Fits in nice de bollocking pedos and working on classic bikes,"he explained.

"So what do you do ?"I asked.

"start off check the screwing paperwork, make totally fucking sure they signed up to therapy as an alternate to a sleep with reach in chokey,"He explained."It don't vexation me what they done I'm just making sure doing it again ain't no fucking option."

"So what is the therapy ?"I asked.

"I'll show you later,"he promised,"But basically you slit their fucking egg bag open with a fucking stanley tongue, slit the testis vein and that crap so the fuck bollocks fall on the flooring so the dog can have them."

"Bloody hell !"I gasped.

He laughed,"Next off chop off their shtup cock inwardness and make the gob in their pelvis bigger for a snatch, I use a air chisel or if I have a fellow, I use a fucking fence post with a penetrating end and a sledge hammer."

"Fucks rice beer !"I gasped.

"Shove their cock skin up the muddle like a cunt, aim their piss metro through the eye of the cock tegument so they can still piss, , '' He explained."Then run up them up with staples and treble sided tape, bit of fucking crack mucilage and that."

"And that's it ? I asked.

"ass no,"he says."penury tits, we got some substantial good ones, sort of cheap as their the sort as nooky failed some rotten government rules."

"Is it much of a problem ?"I asked.

"No,"he said wiping his buttery hands on a rag,"I put a cunt in the skin in the fucking tit surface area. Ram in a football vesica. Pump it up to fifty fucking pounds then let it down and stuff in a falsie."

"Needs a bit of skill,"I agreed.

"egg it does, they are fucking pedos no one gives a fuck about pedos,"he insisted,"You want a go."

"I wouldn't know where to set about,"I admitted.

"Look I fucking told you,"he explained,"It ain't fucking rocket science."

A bell tinkled,"I say !"someone called.

Nobby pulled on Theodore Harold White gloves and a white doctor coat,"picket and fucking learn."he smirked.

He went through,"dear afternoon Sir, Have you come for the aversion therapy ?"Nobby queried sounding like some educated prick,

"Yes, absolutely. Afraid I put up a bit of a black,"the Pedo said handing Nobby the paperwork.

"Oh not to interest sir, it's a very quick procedure,"Nobby continued."Would you like to come through ?"

"What exactly is the procedure ?"the Pedo asked.

"Just a low slit,"Nobby said.

"Oh a micro scrap,"the pedo asked.

"That's the sort of matter,"Nobby agreed.

"Ill have to put you out first,"Nobby said and with that he grabbed a cricket bat from the side of the corridor and smacked the Pedo across the back of his chief. He collapsed like a hundredweight of Rex Edward II. Splat.

"Saves a fuck fate on gas,"Nobby explained."Give us a mitt would you this cunt looks a bit porky."

We loaded the Pedo on a sack hand truck and wheeled him in the workshop.

Nobby handed me some latex boxing glove,"punter rubber than sorry, Pedos got every disease there is, I uses fucking barrier oil, prissy chummy bootleg waste oil is fucking best."

Nobby patiently explained"First off cut their fucking strides off and see if they shit themselves, shitting themselves means they could be fucking dead which is a fucking pain."

He snipped the pedos belt with tin snips and cut his pin striped pant open with an oily kale knife what had seen better days.

"preparedness is fucking king,"he explained as he checked the stapler had staples and turned the 100 watt soldering iron on.

"Give us a hand to get the cunt in the fucking chair,"Nobby asked so I gave him a hand.

The pedo looked a right tail with his stupid little peter hanging out.

"Right, clear the first insertion here,"Nobby said as he weilded the oldest bluntest Francis Edgar Stanley tongue I have ever seem. The brand sliced the skin open and the pedos bollock dropped out of his testis dismission in a concoction of piss and blood.

"Better out than in,"Nobby laughed and he caught them in a eff deep brown jar as he snipped the tubes and that away and sealed the ends with the soldering iron.

"Now the dickhead sum,"he announced as he carved the flesh with the blunt kitchen knife and the stopcock stuff hit the deck.

He picked up a fence post and put it against the pedo's pelvis,"Give it a fucking tap with the sledge hammer then."he asked.

I gave it a decent whack.

"Fuck me you'll have his fucking head off,"Nobby shouted,"Its ass jammed !"

He wangled the post around a bit and yanked it out of the pedo leaving a gaping haemorrhage maw,"facial expression like its got its make out period,"he said as he pushed the pedos pecker skin back in the cakehole with a William Christopher Handy tyre lever.

"nookie, forgot the piss tube,"he cursed and he went to find some long nosed pliers to do a bit of operating theatre with.

It was like watching an artist, a fucking piss artist. Fucking Picasso would give done a neater fucking job. Fucking tape and basic every fucking where, line leaking you name it.

"right fucking tits,"Nobby said,"Grab the air telephone line would you ?"

I pulled the flexible air line which hung from the ceiling.

Nobby pulled the cunt's shirt heart-to-heart and stuck a span of pussy in his breast. Knobby shoved a flat bladder with a schrader valve in it inside the slits."make it a coupe of secs,"he said.

"Er there's no pressure caliber just an airway,"I said.

"Who gives a fuck ?"Nobby replied and fair play he wasn't wrong.

I gave the valve a bit of air and the pedo suddenly grew a tit. Nobby nodded so I gave the other a bit and that swelled too.

"shtup titty is in the box over there, bring us a yoke while I does this."he asked.

"How do I experience whats a fucking twain ?"I asked.

"Any two, they're all fucking cull,"he laughed,"One big and one little is always a fucking laugh."

I found two very much the same.

"Good choice, Fucking Daniel Chester French, explode above about 6000 fucking invertebrate foot !"he laughed as he slurped PVA gum over them.

"Fucking hard bit, You let the bladder down and I'll ram the piece of ass tit in."Nobby said.

It went like clockwork, fucking bladder out and fucking tit in, couldn't have took more than ten minutes.

"Fuck that, that fucking fought every fucking inch of the have sex way,"Nobby said.

He didn't nooky about succeeding time, he got the tit one-half in and cling his kick against it to shove it the rest of the piece of ass way.

"Thank fuck,"he said as he stapled the peel back together."Job done, there's a fucking black chick in the fucking bin bag over there,"he pointed.

We got the chick round the pedo and his trouser off, buttoned his shirt and stood back to look up to us handiwork.

"For fuck sake, freakshow or what !"I laughed.

"Won't be doing no more piece of tail pedoing for the forseeable !"Nobby laughed,"Fancy a Stella ?"

"Don't mind if I do."I agreed.

"Your all right,"Nobby said,"virtually council member are fucking pedo wanker queers and that but you mucked in to fucking assist out."

"Could say my pleasure but I'd fucking slit their fucking throats and feed them to the the pigs me self,"I admitted.

"What's piece of tail pigs ever fucking done to you ?"he laughed as he handed me the can of beer.

Suddenly there was this scream. The pedo had woke up.

"All done, you can fuck off now,"Nobby says.

"What have you done !"the pedo protested.

"Therapy as stated on the fucking sheet now fucking hop it."Nobby insisted.

The pedo wobbled to his invertebrate foot. Bloody sin didhe look uncut and he staggered through the room access towards the street. Nobby followed.

"Its all fucking right he's over canal bridge,"Nobby said.

I watched. A bus came past, Nobby waved to the driver and pointed. The bus went on the paving, splat. Fucking pedo didn't know what hit him.

driver gets out and wipes the radiator before driving off."It's only a piece of tail pedo,"he tells the passenger,"Go back to fucking kip."

And that was it. Nobby promised me a go on his Norton but it started raining so I fucked off house instead content in the ass knowledge that our Council has some of the finest treatment for pedos anywhere in the world.


disclaimer. If anyone is upset with this characterization of Pedos then good, It might stop some little kids being abused .