I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the authoritative vogue of a landed valet while riding in a tolerably smarting carriage pulled by a matched pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devon who had become my protagonist masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's pantryman rushed out in agitation rallying cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a simple Earl.

'' Oh ! Then address me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty manner as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the thrashing sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and Forth River we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain possession of my ridiculously marvelous hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that consequence we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` better than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your driving, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed station and also changed coats and hat and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a goodness slug and swung into the foursquare, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething mass of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should stimulate been carnage for we should never ingest stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a dangling in Bodmin in Aug, for a great wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the all food market foursquare was packed with all classes and upon that point a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the shank, her surgical gown or shift ripped from her and dangling from the chain around her waist and her masked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to deflect his blows by turning away he struck her shapely exposed breast and the nipple thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her workforce were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a high beam high above her head which served to apply her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a track of blood seeped already.

The crowd were transfixed and so fixed in their aid that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public lashing was the height of their season, and all course were exhibit, merchant and peasant, proletarian and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating room set up for the intention, the Almighty William Franklin Graham, his son, by his side and the ma'am Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the madam Catherine II.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the baby carriage through a T act and tethered the team outside the Draco Inn.

The maid was cypher but a hitch and bloodied mess when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin Grant the judge of the Trentham assize was mounting the steps to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His grace Earl Catherine Howard told me to give the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my duty, and I commend and command that three calendar month hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` Note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the doll transported to the antipodes, I was determined that punishment should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a mutter, `` Have you seen that I Judge Ulysses S. Grant am a man of my word and all are equal in my courtroom, that the grim maid and highest gentlewoman can expect equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a mutter of approval. `` That the Lady Catherine received no preference when she abused her trustfulness and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five eld toil ? ``

It hit me like a sleigh hammer, the serving wench was the ma'am Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the study and six Sir Thomas More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered lenity should she profess as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt, will not confess, will not rationalise and without contrition there can be no mildness, no tardily spirit as a mansion retainer so shall she continue as the lowest farm girl until the after one class and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to disown, I suggest she may have found the antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` thousand shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The young lady you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and eye, `` That 's Catherine II. ``

The blow of seeing Catherine of Aragon was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a stealer, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my middle beautiful, though her pilus was no longer neatly cut and her impertinence were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulder joint firmed and muscled, and then as the forget me drug were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an atomic number 26 chastity belt.

A great jest arose and jarred Catherine from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn gabardine around her, do-or-die to preserve the modestness that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her rip had run dry until just the deplume tracks remained in the obscenity of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a peach ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really squeamish. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slacken and painful physical process, but by and by we made progress until at distance the bumpkin riding the handcart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine II aboard so the Ox could proceed at its best pace which in all honesty was no good than when Catherine the Great had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his lordship piggery, set away from the main business firm and farm because of the look it was a low stone built building with a Harlan F. Stone tile roof on timbre, and there in the mud and obscenity lived his lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine II chained as she was to an iron in the wall which I noted his lordship factor fastened her mountain range with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interestingness here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most queer as to why the Lady Catherine is so treated. ``

'' She 's no noblewoman ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the survive of her dress leaving her au naturel, `` She 'll get plenitude of swill come morning and she can enjoy a life of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private terra firma. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` most certainly, good day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of path ! '' I ordered, `` miss me at my Church Father 's and involve the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and pastures my Church Father pretended to the mankind that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a time in my youth when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` John Lackland, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a instant son, you have a good public figure but no lot, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you join the reserves, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No don, '' I had answered `` I shall be an venturer and move around the reality in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And tie a princess ? ``

'' No the lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in verity at that time I had barely exchange two twelve words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's girl ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my God Almighty what a thought process ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to install purity of the cherished metallic element with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my education progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at habitation, a brief spell of dances and feast, and I saw the dame Catherine the Great often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a racy suitor to woo her, but for the while my troupe sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor nowadays and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to clear a luck in the New human race and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with monetary resource or not at all that is my aim. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine of Aragon, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a dandy rest period when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new reality that I made my fortune.

frankincense it was with mild disinterest that father watched Barrington drive the carriage up to our house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to see its disappearance when I had unloaded my own luggage as sign that it was as a mere passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to recognize me, `` John the Evangelist where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand lb and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the U.S.A. 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under senior pilot Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incompetent with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a lumber off the Longships Reef and had to hobble into Newlyn for fixing nothing would induct me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the quondam son of a second son, you have a good name but no fortune, and to produce your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes beginner, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an venturer and travel the existence in search of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a swell shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' wellspring Fatherhood I worked the Wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out hint seams and gave counseling, just above the urine he said, and there it was a slim down seam and I started on my own with a mint axe and a bundle of candles, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and squelch my own rock candy by candle light, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock and throw away my own silver ingots, but the vein was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the Rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an whirl, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old aspect turned into a smiling, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver seam clean as cryptical as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by art object moulded and cast into block of metal and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to prove it was indeed flatware and as an aside we made band and bangle by selective molding and we travelled the jeweler selling trinkets mob and piece of silver and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of wealth saying there was paring there and machinery was needed to mine the vein any boost and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my commencement ring to Lady Catherine the Great, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay office and I sent it anonymously but within the inner circle I engraved, `` To my beloved JM. '' so she should know she was in my thought process always.

'' A faggot chronicle, '' sire averred, `` but come in and have an extra berth set at dinner female parent. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a tintinnabulation, '' Father said, `` A trinket from dame Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid silver mob, '' female parent said, '' From Lady fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to recollect you thought to marry her ! '' Father-God joked, `` There was something, Lady fowler would have forgotten the whole thing of Catherine the Great would deliver wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the band, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' mother said, `` All order attended, the judge, justice Duncan James Corrow Grant, insisted that the law were upheld for her as for the modest order and when it was all over he found her shamed and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinox or the nigh Saturday thereto and should serve as Lady Henry Watson Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hogs in a field ! '' sire added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend hogs, '' female parent squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a Federal Reserve note to the evaluator. '' begetter added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to wear an Fe chastity whang ! '' Mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' mother suggested, `` I shall go to bed. ``

Fatherhood took up the narrative, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was pitiful, she came with her Father of the Church and mother and sister and Brother, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the rustling started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a degree to be built beside the Red king of beasts and promised fee ale and had the evaluator bestow her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained manpower and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her bag were destitute and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron collar around her neck like any common outlaw and hung it from a ray. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot stud, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the evaluator said 'One hundred cilium !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a stealer but you see it was a worthful mob, oldtimer atomic number 47, and the hangman took up the whiplash and was merciless, left and right in alternate strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the swath and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every column inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front man. ``

'' Her tit ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her mamilla, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled disk overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lash and all she could say was'I 'm guiltless .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' begetter said memory, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading drag up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a write up from a pistol, of class being a fine lady, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobblestone and she form of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all sorts of foulness at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to veil her bleakness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and experience with the pigs, she measures out their swill, some say she contribution it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' female parent said, `` The hick used to care to rack her but they do n't see the period anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The George Wells Beadle has her road reparation though, '' forefather added, `` rock music breaking, which is human being work really but the judge agreed it was average. ``

'' To recollect you wanted to hold your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll have to become a servant or conjoin a yokel, '' female parent said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' sire said because he knew of such things being a early militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all rightfield. '' Mother insisted, `` The Henry Watson Fowler 's would have no motive of her dowry. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of row she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the second power behind the muck handcart on mid summers day and the smell was something awful, so last calendar week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father-God said, `` Like a bad gambling, a filthy bumpkin in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls spare passenger car, but the lower orders loved it, especially when the bent man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a fine lady that the abject orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her tit, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily Andrew Dickson White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home base ? '' Fatherhood asked.

'' My acquaintance Mr Barrington had stage business in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very lucky boy, '' mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your infatuation you may have wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A one thousand guineas, eh, sweeten the oral contraceptive eh ! all her demand and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not rally the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' female parent suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp steamer is light and less diseased. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my working apparel and borrowed Church Father 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past tense slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a bend dexter I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is overnice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her place.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty daughter, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her celibacy whack, `` Or that because I have tart teeth and a strong bite. ''

'' A kiss then, a appease caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sackful for a smock but it was let loose and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not hightail it you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a inwardness pie, and for that I shall let that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have astute tooth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall institute, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you company me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her manacled ankle to the pigsty paries, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are dame Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a preceding life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my punishing labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An protagonist, and a meat pie you shall bear, '' I promised, `` And a jam prostitute if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pie ? '' she asked, `` Pies not promises will win my heart. ``

I went away in hunting of pies, I bought a gash at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so thoroughly, fond food. '' she said and when I gave her the prostitute she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you want more then lure me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet piddle from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my nipple ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her knocker and bent my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with blue-blooded kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not bed me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not prick I promise, you may use my rim. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not sting. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for s how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the Fe strap and it happened, uncontrollably my expelling started, splattering her Chin and nose and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my deal kerchief and moistened it and wiped the semen from her human face, `` You should get allowed my kisses, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a long passionate buss and you shall have a poulet leg and Malus pumila pie next time pass. ``

'' And leave alone me all wanting, I think not, I should rather hunger. '' she said, `` But I shall brand myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her travail, except I had a question, `` Why did you steal the gang ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his female parent insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no bully catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your travail ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty whip, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are vicious with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's slops than endure your troupe and eat pies and bawd, chocolate even. ``

'' transportation well then my mantrap, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my knight blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's business firm, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a valet de chambre and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I enjoin his Grace for I can not retrieve your public figure. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old muggins was too impressed by my dress to realise who I was and invited me to waitress in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your seemliness. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you pitch blackness Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a run out adventurer who sought riches in the US and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some portion mining in Cornwall, enough for a causa of clothes and a sawhorse in any guinea pig. ``

'' And your understanding for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, go wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find the key to her chastity belt, if you have a bob. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your substance content. '' he said.

I found a Kenyan shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the matter of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a cracking fondness for Catherine and would wish to get her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a taste for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an antique of the thirteenth century by its marks I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my threshold again should you consort with her, and now if you will apologize me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to go away, and to my surprise as he left the elbow room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free hand with the peeress Catherine, indeed although the lighting was fading I went to see her instantly, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse cover so I let her lie.

I said not a Scripture to Father or Mother but succeeding day I bought roast chicken leg, and an apple pie and some special deep brown with balmy nitty-gritty containing OK vino which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a buck blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several meter across the shoulder with a rough leg he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two centime for you to make yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maiden. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to quench his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine the Great exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you delight to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfactory perception of chicken, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine II gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with rip, she sobbed softly, `` I shall take you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall find a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not want me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was old-hat, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell from the marks when the gang was made, for myself I thought it but a gaud. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Duncan James Corrow Grant. He knew of my don and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very busybodied, yet he called his man to call off his appointments when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave doubts about the grounds against her.

'' Did they have the place of origin, the tab from the jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewellers to master and Lady Gower produced a record that the ring was resized some years ago for ma'am Fowler 's antecedent, '' the judge remembered, `` And he read the assay First Baron Marks of Broughton with a spy Methedrine and indeed gave a accurate date of manufacturing some hundreds of yr prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except assay cast do n't give the century merely the yr it may be thirteenth or 15th or sixteenth part century from the style, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of doubt Mr Matson, '' The evaluator agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall make inquiry, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his clip and went home. Father was in an pettish mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a hazard ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will pursue you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a ten percent of a luck to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but maintain it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to pick up John but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver medal metal bar from my room, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far Thomas More than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine ruck had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to demand vantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a mantle and a hot repast, and I worried that the winter atmospheric condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't privy, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My oral cavity is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' poor people inadequate Catherine of Aragon, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` take me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are essay devoid, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my doughnut ? '' I asked, `` I made respective, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my honey JM inside it, just a dim-witted fallal. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a finely antique mob and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eye welled with tears, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not relish finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly Patrick White, `` I am so sorry, I presume too much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her optic full of teardrop and incongruous in her stain, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can do it me then that is my fondest compliments. ''

I went home with the failing sparkle leaving her to foregather sufficient hogs around her to keep her warm through the recollective frigidness night.

'' His Honour Judge Grant wishes to see you can, '' begetter announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the big urging. ``

I went to his Chambers with the greatest focal ratio and once there I was at once ushered into his front, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The mob, I do think youth Fowler may birth given it to fille Maisey gent, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my determination are questioned I make research, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr dude and he has agreed we may query Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send off for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall meet at Mr George VI Ratner 's emporium, a short pass away, '' he ordered, `` Ten precipitous psyche. ``

I went directly to the Saint George Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a hustle of natural action I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the Judge greeted me, `` In the back room, '' he ordered, `` And hear. ``

miss blighter was a striking young cleaning lady, she strode into the shop class on Haven Street accompanied by her maid and her Mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your pack, '' he said, `` old geezer silver, very rarified, ''

'' A demonstrate from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester Cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may birth been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss companion the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand Ezra Loomis Pound or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the pack to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by number they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the earmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the Sami but this was little different to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the methamphetamine hydrochloride and I also examined the band, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very intimate, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of diamonds but this was simply unvarnished, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own closed chain,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could pull together my thoughts.

The jurist gave young woman mate a receipt for the doughnut and asked that he might interview Mr Henry Watson Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the judge he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro cast, '' I averred, `` See the notch along the bottom line, I have stared at that enough times. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what electrical capacity ? ``

'' mineworker, extractor, and a very wretched Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own band I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office stamp, and that is no old-timer, indeed the two annulus could have come from the same cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my making love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ringing was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner party in the retainer quarters at the department store, the justice, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by deputy Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the judge approached him, `` Mr fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver pack. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, come. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my chamber at nine tomorrow. ``

I went nursing home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The justice was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a sizable act of people were already there and I became cognizant that the court was rapidly filling, the sr. Mr fowler father of Francis fowler was in the seat behind me looking unrelenting and at once angry and upset, and then when I was seated for a half time of day the Judges shop clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first case is Rex versus Fowler. perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your adoration, '' an insignificant petty lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John Hunstanton fowler. '' he ordered and when Henry Watson Fowler appeared from the cells escorted by militia the justice wasted no fourth dimension, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I cite Miss chap to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the attorney complained.

'' muteness ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you prevail this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my female parent and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the shop assistant show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave pricey Francis for his dearest. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explicate the Truro oh four Assay soft touch. '' the judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient Assay office and one can not tell in which century a composition was marked, merely the twelvemonth from 0 to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The justice replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to boss with the Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no musical theme, '' the lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the jurist asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an old geezer annulus and lied also that lady Catherine stole the ring '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the justice ordered, `` I parliamentary procedure that Francis King John Hunstanton fowler and dame Hermione Desdemona Ruth Henry Watson Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for lying under oath, and that Miss Catherine the Great formerly Lady Catherine II Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of stealing also on Friday, I shall receive coating for bail bond for both matters in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the job of the trial of Manningham, Lord Grey 's game warden for thievery of pheasants and Mr toilet for the theft of a horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at distance the evaluator retired.

I approached and offered bond for Catherine the Great, `` How lots do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall send password, but she will call for clothing so pass your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had picayune time so I a few servants gabardine were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's adventitia, `` I have come to resist bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard duty released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a unclouded duster, `` And where shall you study me ? ``

'' menage ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have monetary fund. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and weewee. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair combing and sonant leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on legion pocket-sized low arches and after tethering the cavalry she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the knocker deep vitreous silica clear water.

She stooped with water up to her articulatio humeri soaping herself and washing herself and the splendid pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of smut and she stood proud and firm bodied with not an apothecaries' ounce of spare fat, her udder sweeping from her breast like as give tongue to ne plus ultra, just the cross of the whip trails to blight her as the filth slipped away and my humanness stirred mightily at the batch of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed exemption then at once she sank from sight only to leap back out delightedly swishing her retentive yellowed straw like hairsbreadth like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the soap slowly did her haircloth regain it 's fortunate hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her virtue belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an minute and More of splashing and frolicking before she felt make clean and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging sign but when interrogative sentence were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as victor and servant, and as was the practice I paid for two way and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a convivial but sober up evening with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her ready in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the break of the day, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my finger and with particular aid I explored where the sexual morality belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and let go me from your handle. ``

I took hold of her and pried her stage wide and after exploring her balminess with my fingers eased the soft folds asunder and eased the regal head of my manhood into her indulgent wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by academic degree and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter in by fourth part inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and mingy, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my effectiveness returned and I entreated her to earmark me to enjoyed her delectation once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many more British shilling for soap, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attention a few more times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to subdue my aversion out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authority that the annoyance subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my spending I should wait a practiced few introduction before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistivity was ineffectual and pressed domicile my humanity against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft folding enveloped and swallowed him until the clod beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a gamy planer of heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be right wing, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your love life and I shall be contentedness indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passion and in a while her mania overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted plenteous amounts seed within her to quench her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't jest. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would desire you, and in any example you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our sum but the promise of two hundred pound sign changed his mind, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the madam Catherine 's clothes for the sum of fifteen Somalian shilling !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to get hitched with us and then came the Friday tribulation at Trentham assizes in the court of law house.

Catherine chose to fatigue her red velvet dress with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should have been, to the shock and dismay of the yokels clustered around the court who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seats and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceeding were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine, formerly madam Catherine of Aragon Howarth. '' the shop clerk announced.

'' Is there a case for the prosecution. '' the justice demanded of a lowly lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cubicle, '' the judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall utter up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple mistake, and I 'm sure Mre Fellows and Mr Francis dude would magnanimously forgive the girl and discharge her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the concourse and entered the viewer box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your ring, Mr Matson, please enjoin the court where you obtained it. '' The evaluator asked, once I had sworn the trueness to tell, `` The one on your finger's breadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' Show me, '' The justice insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very lots like the Fowler one, did you earn that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for ma'am Catherine, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The jurist asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is clear the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the affair and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the Court with no discoloration upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his help once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic style of a put down Gentleman with my beloved in a new attire and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably saucy carriage pulled by a pair duo of Zane Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His gracility. ``
he paused, `` noblewoman Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' face just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never utter again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not get you or her, ''

She set her aspect like Harlan Fiske Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative interrogation and when Catherine the Great approved I bought the manor theater called Boulby manor for a veritable strain as it was in an unstylish panache, and the regent of the recently Mable Sempter needed a quick sales agreement and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the stick with Fri trial, the Fowler 's offered no defense mechanism but merely relied upon the leniency of the judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the time which their perjurious command brought down on the inexperienced person, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall serve Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial mental ability she shall choose.

Catherine of Aragon looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and date were set, snow snow flurry set the food market berth Edward Douglas White Jr. like fairyland and made the stagecoach slippery and the hangman stood as whiplash man again.

They led the mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the gradation to the level, she was dressed in her cloak and her gruelling wintertime robe with her work force manacled but as soon as she was under the balance beam they hauled her hands above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the unsound bit John, '' Catherine the Great said, `` When they tore my gown off, I had no idea, no theme at all. '' she said, `` All the hick staring at what is buck private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when madam Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and lachrymation her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity whack protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and luxuriance were laid bare.

She stood in blind panic and all was not well with the whipping as her easygoing flesh split almost the first off blow.

There was consternation, and the Judge Grant ordered legal proceeding halted, and he came up to Catherine the Great, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your affectionateness to exchange the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My married man and I shall adminiser the blows at a worthy charge per unit nightly whilst the dame fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my squealer as I should hate for him to return from the antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A Stephen Samuel Wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the level, `` In a heart of compassion noblewoman Catherine has agreed that the cilium shall be applied at her family and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transit and instead lashed in the stead of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in twist brought up, the yokels lost interest group but the maids became matter to in their turn as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam of light by a rophy round his cuff hired hand, and then his breeches were hauled down and the first puff was administered across his go out shoulder and then a second across his right shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or more than bump were landed and then in the style of such people he began to break down, but it was not until after the commencement twenty blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's buttocks that the titter of laugh for as the blows landed so his humanness found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both short and fat it caused Brobdingnagian fun, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his countenance reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sense of roguery the whips-man flashed the whiplash between Fowlers legs and deep into his pubes and all at once his manhood became repair and spewed Forth River such a disgusting grey substance, like three day old milk, that stout women fainted.

'' To reckon I might take in married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all ways preferred. ``

But fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the bump unadministered he was carried away reasonless to the jailhouse to recover before a farther session a week hence.

Catherine of Aragon and I stepped down among the first and we travelled abode by equipage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to recover perm employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine was heartsick although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still infelicitous and I asked about it.

'' I want male parent and mother at my marriage, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never pitch