For as long as I can think back, I have always wanted to be a better interpretation of myself. A bomber to someone, but every metre I see danger or worry, I end up ... freezing. I guess the hero life is just not for me ... I never introduced myself though did I journal ? You 're new, I 'm new to you and here I am already throwing stuff and nonsense at you like this, I 'm sorry. My gens is Leon, Leon President Carter. I 'm 14 and I 'm a senior high freshman. I love games, funnies, dancing, deep brown and I 'm a BIG, BIG Superhero fan, namely ... Superman.

I know, I know ... one would say that a guy my age is should be more into Batman, or really should n't be into animated cartoon heroes at all ... but I just love it. The stories, the Super family line, and the new Superboy Jonathan ? So adorable ! Not many mass like it, and I get it, but I guess ... to each one their own I guess ...

But this entry tonight is not for me to talk about Elvis, but about ... well ... who I am.

Sorry about how I unevenly write, I 'm just not used to it, but here we go !

I ... am adopted, I do n't think when or how I got here but the bomb just dropped one day for me. My parents called me down and told me one day. I 'd say I took it kinda well, I did n't cry or anything, do n't even cogitate I felt anything actually ... I got numb and just ... kept on living. Maybe it 's due to the fact that my parents lie with me so a good deal and that I do n't know anything former than them as my parents, but I did n't feel anything disconfirming towards them ... anyway, I go to school, I have a best Friend and lot of friend that take aid of me because they say I 'm endearing. I guess that 's cool actually, that everyone likes me this much. I just do n't get what I have that 's so impressive.

One thing about me that I find ... well, weird is ... well ... I do n't even know why I 'm writing it as if I 'm talking but whatever ...

I do n't feel confortable in relationships.

I love how my Friend like me and concern about me, I love my parents, but the mere thinking of having someone actually love me to the point of wanting to be WITH me gets me ... anxious. I 've had two girlfriend before, sooo let 's public lecture about that.

My get-go girlfriend 's name was Eva. She was sweet, she was beautiful ... had these amber center and black hair ... She would always stick around me, said she 's protect me and my grinning, and I said I 'd do the same for her ... turns out ... other people feeling the same as you can cause lots of trouble. The fact that my friends all like me just as much made her flavor ... unappreciated ... and I ca n't blame her. We broke up in 3 months.

My second girl was called Lola, and she was awful. roughneck girl, long black hair and risque optic I 'd easily get lost in. She was really, really tough ... skinny to a real biography heroine I could play. One day, we were coming out of the flick when we were jumped by this guy with a knife cook to rob us. As I said, I froze, I could n't do anything ( And regret it to this day ) but her ? She flipped the guy over herself as if he was made of newspaper, dunno if it was jar or fearfulness but he simply got up and ran away from us. I 'm grateful to her ever since this day. We really hit it off as a distich. Similar tastes, medicine and game ... but ... well ... she 's an ex for a rationality right ?

She told me something, something that scared me a lot ... she said `` I love you ''. And I could n't ... say it back to her. And after 3 days ... we talked it out and broke up ... I just ... could n't ...

Ok, I just gave myself some face smacking and I 'm fix to talk about the next someone ... the one I let release all the time. Ian Anderson.

I 've known Ian ever since we were small-scale. We always had fun together ... he is so polite and happy and there 's something about the way he winks that just says `` Do n't worry, I got it ''. He is my age and we are in the like social class, we like the same stuff and nonsense and he 's really weather ... brave guy I 've ever known. He is my one true Hero of Alexandria, and I ca n't avail but notice that ... everytime he winks at me, reassuring me that everything is going to be ok ... my heart skips a cadence. I get uneasy, I get happy and kinda disappointed that I get to feel this way and have no musical theme what to do with this intuitive feeling ...

Ian is my best friend, always was. I feel ... weird when I 'm around him. I 'm always happy with him. I 'm laughing written material this because ... there was this fourth dimension he got here, my parents were out and we played games all day, danced around like a lot of kids, sang together and even had pizza for dinner. It was one of the well-chosen days of my life. So chill, so good ... he always reassured me that he was having a lot of fun with me, and I could say the same to him. He was the grounds I even changed my expressive style !

I used to have got a mussy black-market hair, one day, he just went `` Hey, ever thought of like ... dyeing your hair ? Blond or something ''. I remember it vividly ... he ... ran his digit on my whisker on the area that should be blond and said `` Maybe lower it on the face a bit ? ''. I laughed at that, it was so ... sweet. I would never look as cool down as Ian though. His hair is spiky brown, his middle are the most beautiful shades of gullible ... different tincture. Yeah, you heard me.. uhh .... show it. He has heterochromia and it 's the coolheaded affair ever !

Which brings me to the ... reason I 'm writing this down ... I 've been feeling different about him ... not the skipping a blink of an eye ... more like ... I want to be so a great deal closer to him, not seeing him hurts ... and my ally seem to acknowledge that I 'm anxious when he is not around. They poke fun, good natured of path, but I was thinking ... maybe ... I 'm not the merely one feeling like that ... what if I really am not ? What if he feels the Same way ? Oh God what if he does n't ? Why am I so ... crazy about it ? Am I going half-baked ?

Is it ... just me ?

Maybe I 'll ask for him over tomorrow ... try to verbalize about it ... I 'll be base alone, smashing opportunity. What could go wrong ?