Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm chieftain Seth Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from damn Yorkshire and I do n't commit a sodomite what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody detect.

We had a bloody bad trip back from US on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass were safe and went to see bloody factor first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a tart boudoir with furnishings to equal. agentive role were a ugly bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over down bloody oakwood blooming desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"trade good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me organisation,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me crashing mind,"I explained to the unlettered Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, slice of eight, that form of brass."

"We thought you meant cheek,"his helper chipped in. She was like a short haired Gorilla gorilla in a Negro frock with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"cheek, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever kick eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request terms,"the slimy shit said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped flesh out bank and paid it in quick. Daft dickhead on tabulator near fainted at sizing of check but I drew out a fair few wad and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody twenty-four hour period voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at stopping point I had some brass in bank and could come home instead of scratting circle down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour original what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump reinvigorated dark-brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I get hold a decent plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be blinking lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to splice a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poof Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a collation to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make principal or tail o fare so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea meter and noon meter was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

managing director come up up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrongfulness end of peg and suggested a span of whore houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a carnival bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not observe forking out for tarts till I gets all-fired clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't prevent slaves anymore, but there's a chap round of golf Inkerman Street does a smashing stove of chastity bang,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got more girl than you can shake a stick at, why not take a crap him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's blinking decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody police captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me damn mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"looking at if its bloody boldness you want I'll pay top one dollar bill, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, brace of bloody pap, own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a incentive but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George VI,"one of his Ilex paraguariensis, a simpering tail end dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your scorecard right."

"I ent playing no bloody plug-in,"I said,"Hard immediate payment, I knows too many bloody visiting card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this feller said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mi or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His blank space needed a lick of blusher and the pantryman's crownwork had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a node, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody station or thee'll feel me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an slimy bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No criminal offense like,"I says as she belts me round the chopper, we her dainty hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty slice ent she ?"

"police chief Beckinthwaite regard to court one of our daughters heartfelt,"the chap says, I sort of guessed he was Maker McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my dead eubstance,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"seminal fluid now we are all protagonist here,"Jehovah Mc pleaded as his font went a deathlike white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody prey water pump bloody spindle bloody secreter bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"peeress Mc insisted.

"I had a damn gut full on't it, bloody cargo ships lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, heights bloody prison term to bloody square off down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"gentlewoman Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't creative thinker bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody pantryman poking on her care thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit flaming nail on't bloody read/write head, I also reckoned Creator Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."girlfriend,"she says,"Come and meet master er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The foremost girl were knockout, blonde pilus on her articulatio humeri, blue eyes, square rigged attire showcasing her mamilla, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bally shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me fucking mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my brain too sir and you sir are entirely abhorrent,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the room,"Queen Victoria,"ma'am Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil picture, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her short fuzz and scowling face if it had n't been for her titty you 'd induce thought she were a flaming feller

"Reet Francis, hedging your blinking stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"madam Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody blighter or a blooming bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody straightaway, upright luck her were a bloody Virgo, if I blew blinking candle out it wouldn't topic what her all-fired brass looked like.

"well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blinking end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blinking virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take aim her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger's breadth, claim it or go out it."

"We really demand the money,"gentlewoman Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a flaming married woman lass, not just a bloody harlot to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, Cook, clean aspect after fucking kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretense of sexual love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, flaming affection, I just wants a flaming shag, you wo n't do skillful than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"goodness,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer skipper is no, never."She stormed away in a fucking strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"Take a glass of wine-colored Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a decent Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a flaming pint."I said. He gave me about enough to overwhelm a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and form Francis out.

I heard a ruckus,"Get off me !"I heard the female child protest,"plosive speech sound it, stop it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a reasonable bloody terms, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girlfriend went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail the boot clattering on fresh refine oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two bedchamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a dead haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee length stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and courteous creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a smell senior pilot,"madam Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blooming bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the ilk of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the flicker of Light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody melodic line,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd toss off your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't gall lass, I never had to force a blooming skirt to fuck me in me fucking life."

She sat on the boundary of the bed and covered her private as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her mitt away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't worn spot, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thigh and then I started to part her twat sass with me finger. It weren't the first time. Her bitch was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a affair ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody cuss I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me blooming sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you acknowledge ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirate ship belt and let me trews free fall,"Lashkar-e-Toiba call it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"looking police chief,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no bally unknown to a doll's pussy and wi me thumb on her slight nub her pap were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a nooky,"I explained,"Can't bear me to cease now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But senior pilot,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her titmouse and on down to her hammock. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh boulder clay I got me tongue in the vallecula between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee flaming take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a flaming Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her oculus were like dish antenna, she said nowt but grasped me node and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody boss end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an linchpin up a hawsepipe pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in public treasury me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody pit size bloody cd youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody lie with ent so bally bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek administration for the bloody shtup. Once I shot me flaming cargo in thee its for blooming life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me crashing lode over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not hold back yourself and I believe you have a form spunk under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to pip a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your risky Captain."

Me ballock was bloody crinkling and me peter was bloody throb and suddenly it were too late for bally pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant skipper,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a wilderness boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suck me crashing cock difficult I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suckle my mammilla if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her titty right out of her stays and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody diametrical,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our oral cavity met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your clapper in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an time of day or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and gentlewoman Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us have the fight announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a fucking sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down all-fired seaport and I can do bloody matrimony, no bloody indigence to waste damn brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you cognize after we fucked a prison term or two her started smiling at me and her aspect quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the luminance behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matter and she's bloody booster and no mistake, even if she do come from bloody Lancashire .