I sat alone in the corner, now that the vampires are all dead they do n't need me anymore but they said they 'd still use me as a toy now and then. I should introduce myself before I tell my tale I suppose, I 'm milo, a walking, talking wooden man. I know what you 're thinking, I ca n't be genuine but tell that to the 3 Witches that created me. My Witches were 800 long time old, they 'd use the sexual get-up-and-go from unseasoned men to keep themselves young, the more they fucked, the yearner they 'd appease looking young and pretty. They never harmed the men of course of study but when the vampires came to township the appeal of a hot Witch wore off and when the men started to go missing it became harder still to seduce them.

***

'' Oooh, these are in there pretty undecomposed, did you finally get yourself a male ? '' Said Chloe as she pulled the Fang from my neck opening with her pliers.

'' I did schoolmistress, he got so mad when he tried to jinx me he bit me really concentrated. '' I replied with a smile.

'' well I 'm proud of you my pet, did you keep a vial to fix these yap ? ''

'' Yes Mistress. '' I replied, holding up the small phial of beat vampire blood I 'd use to repair the Fang damage.

I was originally created as a man sized sex skirt. They gave me a overnice big rooster and coated me in a limited varnish, deoxyephedrine eyes that looked pretty very, wired limbs so I could be posed and was as real looking as a Grant Wood cutting could wait. When a youthful vampire came to call in, looking to bung off what he thought was just 3 sister living alone, he got the surprise of his little vampire lifetime that it was in fact 3 beldame keep there and I think his last words were 'oh piece of ass'right before he was brutally slaughtered, a long wooden spear jammed into his warmheartedness and his head lopped off with an ancient sword. Blood sprayed everywhere of path, a expectant sum of it covering me from head to toe and it actually made my varnished skin face real.

'' Zoe, aspect, he looks alive ! I 've heard of lamia blood healing mankind but I 've never seen it do this ! ``

'' well how often do people possess pose-able wooden sex dolls just sitting around to spill it on. Oh ! Oh ! I have an idea. '' Said Zoe.

Zoe came back with one of her incantation books and found the turn she was looking for.

'' Maya, get me some devil 's root, weavel line of descent and garlic. '' She said.

'' Oh, you 're a genius ! We can send him out, seduce them and interest them all ! We 'll get our juvenility back, the men will desire us again. '' Said Chloe, looking down at the spell open in the book.

'' I 'll make a new arm for him with a spring loaded wager but with this coated on him they wo n't have sex he 's not real until it 's too late. '' Said Maya.

They mixed the potion and poured it over me, read the incantation from the book and I woke to my new life. They taught me the art of vampire seduction, they would try and bite me at some point and when their fang got stuck in me, my spring loaded bet would come out and I 'd jam it in their moth-eaten drained hearts.

I still remember my offset, she was old but had on a young font. She was enamored with my magic spell, fascinated by my unique smell and had to give birth me. She took me to her room, stripped naked, tried to hypnotize ( glamour ) me and when my glass center repelled it she just went straight for my throat, her fangs getting stuck in my dense wooden neck.

'' Whr thr fggg '' She muttered.

I forgot to get my post out and instead ripped her teeth out pushing her away from me, blood pouring from her mouth she scrambled back to the nook of her bed then just closed her eyes as I finally remembered and drove the stake into her. I managed to pull the teeth from my neck, covered myself in blood from the pool of guck that was left of her and left, setting off a garlic smoke bomb as I did. I got better as racked up more kill, my Witches taught me how to make men too but they were a bit more cautious and harder to attract.

A few calendar month after I was created, I accidentally attracted a regular homo, she was pretty, very wise and very touchy with long blond hair and a slap-up body.

'' I said, can I buy you a drinkable. '' She said as I sat alone.

'' I uh, no I 'm fine. '' I replied.

'' Nonsense, I see you in here all the clock time, you always leave with one of the pretty lady friend, am I not your type or something ? ''

'' You are a beautiful char but you 're not for me. ``

'' Oh, now I 'm intrigued because I swear I seen you leave with a young woman who could let been my twin. '' She said as she sat down.

'' It 's a long narration, I 'm here to fulfill soul. ``

'' Uh huh, and you 'll be back tomorrow to run into someone new. I do n't manage if you 're a man fancy woman, I just like sex and you 're well-favoured. ``

'' Is this miss bothering you ? It 's milo right hand, you 're wearing the disgraceful rose I asked you to so I knew it 'd be you. '' Said the tall woman with black hair.

'' I was just leaving, convey care. '' Said the blonde and walked off.

'' I do n't care it here, I think it 's being frequented by hunters, can we maybe go straight to my office ? '' Said my 'date'.

'' I 'd love that. '' I replied.

'' With vampires going missing every hebdomad we have to be so timid now, you said you want to be turned after you feed me ? ``

'' Yes, I want the power you hold in you. ''

'' Well expert, you do smell wonderful. '' She said, smiling at me.

We got back to her place, she handed me a crank of wine and after excusing herself, came back wearing just a sheer silk robe, her defenseless body legato and flawless. She undid a few clitoris on my shirt, had me strip naked then kissed the English of my cervix before she sunk her Fang into me. She pulled herself away though, a look of horror on her face as the profligate from her mouth ran down her body, she yelled out something in a linguistic process that sounded like antediluvian High German, spraying blood over my chest, I quickly sprung my wager and stabbed her. She did n't explode like the others though, the stake came out of her covered in a cat valium slime. The hole it left was getting black though. I did n't know what to do, I ducked out of the way in time to avoid the axe that her fellow traveller swung at me but suddenly the door burst outdoors and my would be attacker was shot in the heart with a crossbow bolt and exploded blood all over me. The crossbow shooter was none other than the blonde from the bar, she closed and barred the room access then put her crossbow down after reloading it.

'' Oooh, good job, I 've been after this one for a while. '' She said, playing with the vampire 's hair.

'' Who are you ? ``

'' I have many names, you can call me Clara though. This, ca n't be killed with a wooden interest, you need to jab her in the nub with silver, which is just what I happen to have. Are you the one with the garlic bombs ? Those are genius by the way. Put your apparel on and get the turkey ready, we wo n't birth a lot of time after I kill this matter. ``

I quickly covered myself in the crossbowed vampire 's blood then once it had dried in I took a vial for the Fang pickle, put my collar up and opened the compartment in my stomach for the garlic bomb.

'' Oh they 're going to hate this, finding out days after their queen is killed to regain her skull with no fangs. '' Said Clara who then took a atomic number 47 dagger and stabbed the vampire in the heart.

The vampire pansy shuddered in agony then just collapsed in a gooey mess with only her skull left in the pool. I took a large vial of the green goop, set the garlic bomb on it 's timekeeper then left with Clara. I dressed in the hallway, the garlic bomb going off with a strangle pop and detect Clara smiling at me.

'' I have like, so many inquiry, net ball get out of here though, they 'll have sensed their queen is dead and they 'll probably transmit humans, I do n't belt down human race. ``

We got to a motorcycle that sat outside and sped off into the nighttime, stopping at a little camper just outside of town. There were garlic bulbs everywhere and little battery misters spraying essence of ail into the air too.

'' We 're fairly safe in here, they 've never seen me so have never came looking. '' Said Clara.

'' I should get back, my Mistress will vex. '' I replied.

'' Well when we tell her what you did she 'll be happy. Let me at least get those from you, may I have one since I helped you ? ``

'' Sure. ``

'' What are you ? '' She said, pulling the tooth out of my neck opening with her pliers.

I quickly explained how I came to be, what I was made for and what I 'd become.

'' That is fucking Einstein, I love it ! So these Witches, they do n't take anything from their men, just gather energy from the sex endorphins ? ``

'' Right but since the lamia arrived they 've been forgotten. ``

'' Oh, this is so exciting. I have an idea, I 'll need to lay low for a piece but I 'll witness you. Take guardianship my wooden man. ``

I made my way family, my beldame were all frantic thinking I 'd been killed but they were happy to see me.

'' Is this what I think it is ? '' Said Zoe, looking at the queen 's fang I gave her.

'' It is, I gave the other one to the woman that helped me. '' I replied.

'' What cleaning woman, did you tell her what you are ? '' Said Chloe.

'' I did but she only hunts lamia, I told her you never take anything from the men and hate vampires too. I think she 's a slayer. ``

'' Oooh, we used to educate those back in the day but we have n't needed to for 200 years If I was n't so tired and old I 'd initiate again. '' Said Mara.

'' I have something else for you mistress. '' I said with a smile.

I took off my shirt, took the ampule of queen goop out and held it out to them.

'' Is that what I think it is ? '' Said Chloe.

'' I was able to refill with the vampire 's rake that Clara had killed, this is the stuff that 's left over from the queen. '' I replied.

'' She had a silver sticker ? I 'm sorry, it 's been so farseeing and I did n't cogitate you 'd find a queen mole rat. '' Said Chloe.

She took the ampoule from me and gave me a hug.

'' Sisters, do you know what this can give us ? A bead of this mixed with our lotions will give use our youthful appearance, we can begin seducing men again ! '' Said Chloe.

'' It takes weeks to start working but we have enough to last a longsighted metre, proficient study Milo ! ``

The Witches all jumped when the doorbell rang.

'' Who can that be, did n't you have a repellent turn up ? '' Said Mara.

'' I do. Send milo maize in case it 's a vampire. '' Said Zoe.

I came back to the lounge with Clara beside me.

'' I 'm really sorry to nose but I come with majuscule esteem and a way that we can avail each other. '' Said Clara.

'' How did you get through our patch ? '' Said Zoe.

'' I was trained by master key Zortan, he gave me this to help in the scrap. '' Said Clara, showing them a pocket-size tattoo on her wrist.

'' He 's still active ? '' Said Mara.

'' No, the lamia could n't get to him so they sent humans and they ambushed him, I could n't save him. Before though, he told me of fabled Witches, when Milo here told me how you get your energy I knew it was you. I used to turn over him the Saame energy, he 'd do me cum so operose and kept the body of a 30 year old from my climaxes. I humbly have a proposal for you. I can contribute you a few men who would happily fuck all 3 of you then when they 're done I 'll set up a steady supplying of hot offspring studs to come and sleep with you. In return I 'd wish to maintain Milo to track down with me, he 's managed to kill off all but 5 from a pretty tight nest and now that the queen is gone they 'll get dangerous. When we 're done here I 'm needed in Grand Canyon State, I 've been tracking a fagot there and with my walking stake here they wo n't know what hit them. ``

'' Your plan has but one flaw my dearest, we all look like we 're 80, we still work down there but who would fuck us ? '' Said Chloe.

'' Let me worry about that, I promise I can deliver. As for the provision of men when you 're unseasoned, there 's this app and it makes it so easy. I 'll set up your profiles and if you 're as beautiful as I believe you are from Master Zortan 's narrative then they 'll be lining up to get you. '' Said Clara.

'' Well, if you can deliver that, milo is all yours. '' Said Zoe, shaking Clara 's hand.

'' I 'll be back in an hr. '' Said Clara.

True to her word, Clara arrived an hour later with 3 men, they were all in their 40 's but they were blind.

'' And you said they know we 're unreasoning and do n't manage ? '' Said one.

'' Yes, Stephen, they 're a little shy and self witting but they 're just interested in your dicks. '' Replied Clara as she led them in.

'' These are my champion, they were in an chance event and lost their sight but from walking in on each of them jerking off at some point in time in the hostelry I can tell you they all have functioning cocks. '' Said Clara.

'' fountainhead, lets get you 3 comfortable and out of them clothes. '' Said Zoe.

I did n't observe the Witches taking their men but when they brought them back to the lounge they looked like women in their 30 's. All 3 men were grinning ear to ear.

'' Oh, that was easily the in effect sex I 've had in geezerhood m'lady, thank you so a good deal. '' Said Steve. The former men agreed.

'' wellspring, let me get these 3 back and I 'll be back to set up your visibility. '' Said Clara with a smile.

'' Oh, Clara. sacrifice them this in their tea tonight, when they wake they 'll suffer their sight again, do n't distinguish them, let it be a surprise for what they 've given us. '' Said Mara quietly, handing a small pouch to her.

'' Thank you so a lot ! '' Replied Clara, hugging her.

'' For what ? '' Said Steve.

'' Never you mind, lets go you old horndog. '' Said Clara.

Clara came back a little later and set up the predict visibility with mental picture, a fake bio and showed them how to use it. They were getting substance before we even left.

'' Clara, you 've given us our lives back, are you sure enough Milo is all you want in return ? '' Said Chloe.

'' My parents were killed by vampire when I was 12, Master Zortan gave me a path and my life exists to pass over them from this earth. milo maize will be a best weapon than my crossbow and daggers and will be more than thank you and I 'll be honored to use a creation from you. '' She replied.

'' Well you honor us Clara, thank you again. ``

It took a few week to chase after them down, we had the last one of the remaining lamia cornered in a run down warehouse in an abandoned industrial function of the city.

'' This does n't feel right wing Milo, split up, keep your radiocommunication on. '' Said Clara as we made our way inside.

Ten proceedings later I heard an electronic squelch circuit from the receiving set, a dissonance they usually made when they were smashed. I followed the voices I heard to find Clara wall hanging by her leg on the end of a forget me drug. The lamia we were after was toying with her, spinning her around.

'' The outstanding slayer, the king Orcinus orca, caught by a modest initiate. I 've only been a lamia for twenty years but taking in your head will make me a master and I 'll be given a nest of my own. I 'm going to feed from you for days of course. '' It said.

'' Not with this in you. '' I said, driving the stake through his back into his heart.

I looked down at the metallic button after I cut Clara down.

'' Oh fuck, dead man 's switch, he has the place rigged to blow ! ``

Clara winced in pain in the ass as she picked me up, I was n't very heavy so she was able to throw me through the windowpane with simplicity. No Sooner had I gone through, smashing the glass as I flew through the air, when the building exploded, throwing me further and into the river. Being made of wood I floated just exquisitely, I got home a few hours later, Chloe answered the doorway, the auditory sensation of sex coming from the lounge telling me they had been making great use of their app already.

'' fountainhead you do n't give any legal injury, sorry about Clara, she was howling. We 'll find another use for you, go sit in the corner for now, I have twins coming over. '' She said when I told her what happened.

A few days later the women all sat eating breakfast at the table, all three were naked, enjoying their new youthful bodies from all the sex they 'd been getting.

'' Oh, do you feel that ? '' Said Chloe as she got to her feet.

'' Has been so long but yes I do. '' Said Zoe.

right field as Dolichotis patagonum stood up a lustrous flashing lit up the room and a defenseless Clara appeared on the table, a man was between her legs and they were clearly fucking.

'' You are cleaning up this mess Zoltar and you better not get cum on my tiles. '' Said Chloe, wiping spilled coffee from her breasts.

'' Oh you know I always hated you calling me that, it 's Zortan, not the arcade machine from that Big picture show. '' He said, pulling out of Clara and gently climbing off the table.

Clara gingerly got to her feet.

'' Master Zortan had banished himself with a portal vein when they tried to get him the same way, with my energy he was able-bodied to fall back. Milo ! You are safe ! '' Said Clara, kissing me on the forehead.

'' How long has it been my friend, 300, 400 years ? '' He said, hugging Zoe.

'' 500, we thought you 'd died years ago. '' She replied.

'' I kept a low profile for a piece, these flirt were hard business. This one is one of the best I 've trained though, better than Van Helsing in many ways. '' Said Zortan.

'' Well, I 'm not allowed to be here with all 3 of you so I will take my parting, may she consider milo ? I 'm going back into deportation in Alaska, those stoner chicks up there screw this old hotshot, get all the pussy I need. '' He said.

'' He belongs to her, she gave us our liveliness back. ``

Arizona took us a yr to clean, we got them all though and are headed to Texas to fall in a team hunting a large draw close there. I might be made of Natalie Wood but I think I love my killer, I 'm certain when she rides my wooden cock she feels that too. I just ask to find the right sandpaper this time, she 's still mad about the finale sliver I gave her ...