Chapter 1 :

The summer I turned twelve year old, matter started to modify. I was always `` more developed '' than former female child my age, and had a common sense of matureness not often seen in pre-pubescents. I only began to notice how older males looked at me when my uncle drooled over his beer as I exited the pool with my Brother. His leer caught me off guard, made me uneasy and pale to my stomach. Life continued, day to day, but I felt him getting nearer and nearer as time wore on. He partied at the family every weekend with my dad, he began to stay over nights, and then demanded I bring him a towel into the shower. These small representative began to pile up doubt in my mind. Eventually the tenseness between us culminated when my parents left us with him for the weekend. When night came, and the house was quiet, he made a beeline to my room, I could discover his drunk make outside my room access and I knew what was coming. The first ravishment was the most painful, I cried the rest of the night and into the morning. He took me over and over again in that first hour. His laurel wreath pressed hard against my sassing. His belt buckle left wheal that did n't fade for day and the bruises on my inner thighs kept me from my horse back riding. The succeeding weeks until school began were my worst. I told no one and suffered through the encounters with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving nothing behind, none of my soul, no whole component part of my body untouched. I think this is the point in my life story where I became hardened against the world and it 's arithmetic mean. The dark relationship with my uncle continued until I was sixteen, when I began to fight back. I would contend, the beatings would get worse. But when I fought back, I became excited. My pussy started to drop then minute I slid away from him and made him rip me back to him. I kicked him and made my own back arch from the excitement. When he slapped my face in penalty and called me a little hussy, my teat hardened. I bit his finger extremely knockout and he punched my down back as he continued to hurl into my unwilling vagina. The moment his fist impacted with my spine I came with triumph. My first orgasm was idle and filled with abandon of a torture soul released.He twisted my head around and with facial expression of let out disgust, hurled me onto my bed and left the room. I lay there, spilling my heart onto the bed with my body shaking and desperately wanting to begin again, to feel the pain and that pleasure simultaneously. I believe my uncle noticed the change in me, and when he realized he was in fact pleasing me instead of hurting me, he stopped. For him, the erotic feeling stemmed from taking and not giving. My nature had been corrupted and by railing against him, I found my own pleasance. Many will take for this story spue beyond the most twisted slant, but I am determined that I am not insane, just `` dirty '' or `` tainted '' by the world 's touchstone. It was a easing when his rape ended, but he left a disastrous mark on me that will never wither. I have an insatiable desire for men ten to twenty years my senior, and fighting against the man fucking me roughly and harshly is the best height I can give. I want nix more, at this stage in my life sentence than to be degraded as used as my prevalent spouse pleases. The outside of me is very dominant. I am a sophomore in college, an pureness student, a published poet. I am five foot eleven inches tall and a formidable fig to men my age. The intimate me is a subservient kitten that has to be taught repeatedly what she can and can not do. I thrive on pleasing my prevailing and survive on the sexual arrangement of rewards and penalisation. At sixteen, I was just beginning to comprehend my sexual abilities. When I first liberated myself from my abusive uncle, I thought I was actually sexually dominant allele. It would be over five year later that I learned I was, in fact, a submissive. Up until that second I had convinced myself I let those men do as they pleased. A dear ally taught me that I needed those men to do as they pleased, in order for myself to gain utter satisfaction, paradise, and true sexual pleasure. I began as a rape lawsuit, a victim, a girl. Though I consider myself still developing in my intimate endeavors, I have learned much, and I hope to share all my sexual exploits, in wet, sweaty, dirty, gritty detail. I want to disseminate the noesis that you are not alone in your submissive ( to the extreme life-style ). You are, in fact, most likely in a majority. All powerful woman want to be taken, dismantled, examined, and used for ultimate pleasure, they just are n't willing to admit it. I loved not being in charge, being utterly lain to waste and I adored listening to the men as they finished with me and told me no woman had let them do what I had let them do. I have fulfilled fantasies, I have dreamed dreams and then lived those dream. If you are in the bus that I am going to hell in, perhaps you will stay on tuned to hear of how my enterprise so began and how I came to be writing this floor, at the request of my most Recent epoch and about cheering dominant .