Back in the 18th century a humble page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straightaway. You say Prince Charming wants a golden dildo, 10 centimeters in girth and 40 centimeter in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jeweller and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"fountainhead we're right out of blood line at deliver squire,"the jeweller admitted,"We got ivory and glass, bronze even, but Au with baseball diamond, well drear gallant, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have got you killed if you will not supply one,"Buttoni suggested.

"fair enough, how does Thursday sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to make a molding squire, can't just pour molten gold down some pitiable Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, health and refuge see ?"the jeweller complained

"Are you sure you are a jeweler and not the settlement idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lord no sir, survive yr I come third in the small town idiot competition, but I'm preparation hard for next year."

The jeweller knew a metre waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime instance. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent as a corkscrew. Everyone knew. All the lady loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your master to come so I can construct a molding ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a woman you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a in force shabu one for 20 five guilder,"the jeweller offered,"The slipper we calls it on accounting of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The glass slipper."

"Why so cheap ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second hand, was the wife's mothers, twat like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice while and twice the size of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the castle. He liked his job as page but he was not too lament on hoi polloi thinking he was Charming's fan. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with daughter with a talent for saying the legal injury thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too excited and came in his pants. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad move for the Royal Family PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this time ? Invade Russia, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the attic, slay a flying dragon ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"grasp a ball !"

"baseball, Tennis ball ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big saltation, a masked formal, ask for all the eligible bird,"Buttoni suggested.

"female parent tried that,"Charming call up,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this sentence we say you met your true love and she left a love token and you have to find her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sorting of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her looking glass dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"Look !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a with child bottle of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the fiend,"Wow, can you ideate those spoilt pamper simpering frigid squawk Mother tries to palm me off with with that freak inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to conform his pants as his putz swelled at the sentiment of it."And struggling to get the ogre inside their tight pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And haired single Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"chalk slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the right PR we can leave about having a orb, we'll say it happened at the hold out dissemble musket ball !"

"And you'll marry the young woman it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"High five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my true dearest at the masked ball and she lost her chalk carpet slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my citizenry and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money father not Das Kapital write up,"Charming lied.

"majuscule, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the local liberate ads news sheet and opened a pocket-size shop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a cubicle with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the thigh length black leather boots with Au buckles sorting of gave the game away.

"howdy, I think I might be the missy he's looking for ?"Helga one of the fancy woman from Madame L'Oiseaux's establishment stated boldly.

"Indeed, total through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my love ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 dm long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody pervert !"Helga cried,"I thought you meant a shoe !"and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should have got slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong tack ?"

Just then a beautiful young girl stepped into the shop class,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did question where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good friend charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the lady friend admitted.

"Your good ally ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed on cold nights."the little girl explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maidservant Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly,"Your loftiness, are you all right ?"the lady friend asked.

"He has just cum in his bloomers,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't matter I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a stupid camouflage ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you desire to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't partiality men, he doesn't take to women, sounds hone !"the girl explained,"And with a decent big dildo to wager with even better."

"fountainhead then,"Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sacque and suggested,"What do you think of that ?"

"My god !"the girl agreed,"It's Brobdingnagian !"

Her eyes were all-encompassing with covetousness as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo much nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and liquid !"

She looked round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to watch are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at least mesh the room access first."

And with that she sat down on the storey, pulled up her twisty skirts and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to check ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the girl tried to get a finger up inside herself.

"Oh well do something utilitarian then, can you breastfeed my titties ?"she asked as she undid the trouncing on her bodice to let on her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent-grass to the chore,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the girl and began to suck her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo good !"she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"Keep on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four finger's breadth slipped inside her, then the whole of her lilliputian hand as she fisted herself.

The daughter gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a expectant hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to take her fist the dildo was much too all-encompassing to go more than than 3 centimeter inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you sustain any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breech."assist yourself."

The little girl looked at Charming's long pink perch. A lowly drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The girl smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lube you, stretch your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, depend I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her drumhead on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a little girl,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.

His peter slipped easily into her velvety snatch. He luxuriated in her warmness. It was like fucking a fancy woman without having to see the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the lady friend complained,"Shoot your freight and let your page have a go !"

"Be quiet I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to delight it,"the girl complained,"Another ten instant then all rightfield ?"

Charming was not too sure he could hold on for ten second. The spate of Bavaria swept through his judgment. He was an Eagle soaring above the ceiling round top. He was in heaven with the Angel Falls. He was swimming in the Rhine. He was cumming. A glorious deluge of cum burst from his pecker and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I suffer a go ?"

"Of course it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"feel I'm gay. I lost my merit to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in battlefront of watcher, I'm home free."

"What ? you wanted me to get it on you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the lady friend replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your tongue please,"Charming asked.

"What do you want that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your cunt if you can't lease the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no topic what position she tried it in she could not pressure it more than than 5 centimetre inside her.

It was no good. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The miss quickly rearranged her vesture and went to the room access.

"Where does that jeweller work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One drinking glass dildo, a lot dilutant, get the thought ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of cunts to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to come back.

"Errr,"the young woman said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the door, he let the young woman out and slammed the room access quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the town square."

"right hand,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could learn bit to take my home !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you find these multitude ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an hour, put the closed for lunch mansion up."

Buttoni sneaked out the backrest doorway and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few dry pint of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the flock and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal body guard for only a month pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal administration fee for every female child who tried the dildo and set up a cashbox on the shop retort and a inclination of the scale of charges, including try twice get a third base try free !

Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the back way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the excitement of watching Whitney Young ladies trying to stuff a 400 mm dildo up their cunts pale after a while and within the calendar month almost of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as girl after girl ruined their chastity trying to fuck a clump of glass.

Henry Sweet hairless pink snatch, big hairy slit, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrow President George W. Bush, some with notch from shaving. Shy young girls, raddled old beldam, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the behemoth even half way up.

Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop class and returned to the palace to weigh the money.

The business leader was delighted, the queen regnant exasperated and so life-time returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tues Thursday and Sat and poking the Cook most mornings.

The queer despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a commotion at the palace gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring incoming to an irate young char."Let me in !"a young woman screamed."That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the logic gate."That's him !"the miss howled.

"You're the young lady from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got fraught !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's immaculate creation, of course of instruction it is !"she snapped.

"carnival enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better meet mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met mother,"he explained

He took the female child to his mother's sitting room,"Ah mother I am afraid I have made this lady friend pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her name ?"the queen asked.

"No idea,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the girl sighed,"It's Ella, my friends call me cinder because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a sapphic !"the pansy gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's knockout to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the female monarch asked.

"wellspring lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the tyke comes out there is footling doubt the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the pansy asked.

"Its this big stave,"the missy said as she described the size with her hired man,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slut !"the queen asked.

"She is disrespectful, headstrong, likes women so she's unconvincing to get off with a footman, she's ideal queen material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, awless and unlikely to chase footmen do you ?"the queer enquired.

"Well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah cinder, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."Mummy said I should hand it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ roll in the hay'in the palace dearest,"the female monarch explained,"We say ‘ shuffling love'much less mussy don't you think ? So, clinker, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the fille insisted,"I just want baby support."

"wellspring I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the queen insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the donjon and rhythm you and starve you until you're not pregnant any to a greater extent. ``

"Oh well in that case,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will have to render it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my night for the sporting house, how about we get a take away knackwurst and stick around in and watch the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes high-priced excellent approximation !"the poof agreed.

"Not you mother, Cinders !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"Cinders asked.

The queen looked askance at the girl,"We will get the take away and watch the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a clip ?"

"Men or missy ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the female monarch explained,"Good god girl half the girls in the land want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny commercial enterprise,"the miss agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missionary would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the little girl insisted.

"Not fucking lamb, making love, it sounds so much nicer,"the tabby insisted.

"You liked it cobbler's last time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a girl,"she explained.

"Very fastidious my Charming, a tub every Friday and sporting underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this notable dildo, it does sound rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

wellspring the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 guilder for the first base unmarried young lady to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent line of work out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch. The jeweler never did get paid and the pocket-sized dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married clinker's Friend Charlotte after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one night. The queen had a replication glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his time talking to his works in the garden and meddling in politics like kings do.

And therein lies the moral of this story, if you want to tear, have a Bath and wear white underpants