master Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Lowell Jackson Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't fall in a sod what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a all-fired bad trip back from United States of America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me cheek were prophylactic and went to see flaming agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishing to match. broker were a slimy bastard with slicked down fuzz and poncy suit. He sat behind this over svelte bloody oakwood blinking desk about the sizing of a all-fired cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me flaming judgment,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the plaque,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, piece of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you have in mind brass,"his help chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"face, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unlettered Lanky sodomist ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever kick eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy prick said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped assault bank building and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on sideboard near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a fairly few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days ocean trip took, bally steamship broke down on the way but at finish I had some brass in banking concern and could come in domicile instead of scratting round down South United States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see seaport master what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minute of arc then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a squeamish plump fresh brownness one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in 30 three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let well-nigh of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I feel a courteous plump Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be all-fired prosperous to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to splice a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore planetary house or hook up with a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner card outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a sting to eat. Now I ent duncical or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail assembly o menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea clip and noon time was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up up to me and asked me business,"looking at for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got incorrectly end of stick and suggested a couple of whore house.

"Nay I want a woman for donjon see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an plus see, not keep forking out for woman of the street till I gets bloody clap and me cock bunk off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap round of drinks Inkerman Street does a smashing mountain chain of virtue belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got Thomas More daughters than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his better half over a sliver of Pisces the Fishes and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a bally church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a twain of daughter to unload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the Hades are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorousness,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me flaming mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody plaque you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, couple of bloody tits, own dentition, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George VI,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right field ponce says,"You might well tie off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his partner grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this cranny said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy teammate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The fella lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His berth needed a lick of paint and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman's gentleman, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the lad explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me flaming judgment. Know thee's bloody stead or thee'll feel me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning lady turns up,"By heck you're an ugly gripe,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to prod thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No crime like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her dainty hand and half column inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"chieftain Beckinthwaite compliments to court one of our daughters beloved,"the lad says, I sort of guessed he was Creator McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"seed now we are all friends here,"master Mc pleaded as his boldness went a mortal flannel,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe dangerous undertaking in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"storm, Tempest, bloody feed H2O pump bloody arbor bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody nookie in weeks."

"Capain please,"madam Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody merchant marine lark."I said,"administration is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody go down down."

"And you seek to courtroom my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no nasty bloody butler poking on her like thee and he does soon as flaming lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody read/write head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

dame Mc knew when to observe stum so she showed us into living room."Girls,"she says,"come and meet Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blond hair's-breadth on her shoulders, blue eyes, second power rigged dress showcasing her mamilla, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servant, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girlfriend asked.

"Bloody productive and in need of a bloody screw,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody idea and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my creative thinker too sir and you sir are entirely detestable,"she explained.

Another visual sensation of loveliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody nether region, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a all-fired hangover. Wi her short-circuit hair and scowling cheek if it had n't been for her tits you 'd induce thought she were a bloody cuss

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a bloody lad or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin son, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross snuggle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit slim on bloody priming,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit crashing straightaway, good hazard her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her flaming aspect looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blooming end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blinking virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairish than that."

"skipper !"Lord Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger, take it or go away it."

"We really require the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, cook, clean look after damn tike, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretension of dear or warmness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a damn shag, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a all-fired gain."I said.

"good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the resolution captain is no, never."She stormed away in a damn strop.

"Feisty part ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"deal a field glass of wine police chief,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her cool off down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madeira River wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about plenty to drown a bloody computer mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sorting Francis out.

I heard a din,"Get off me !"I heard the young lady protest,"Stop it, blockade it mother I would rather die than marry that fearsome man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody terms, what's ill-timed wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail kick clattering on unfermented milled oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her clothes off and looked like she been whacked across face with a perfectly Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no knickerbockers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her leg wide-cut,"Take a expression Captain,"ma'am Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you crashing rowdy, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But maitre d',"lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody tune,"parting them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to hit me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the doorway shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pour down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret jeune fille, I never had to ram a bally skirt to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the border of the bed and covered her crotch as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her second joint and then I started to parting her puss mouth with me fingers. It weren't the first meter. Her puss was well used.

"Looks like you been damn shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of form not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a blooming bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a prison term or two ?"

"How did you cognize ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews declivity,"Army of the Pure holler it our footling bloody secret shall us ?

"face Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no bloody unknown to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her short nub her teat were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavily

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shtup,"I explained,"Can't expect me to end now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But police captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her bosom and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh public treasury I got me natural language in the groove between her rim down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a crashing mizen mast in me hand.

Her eye were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me thickening and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody node end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an lynchpin up a hawse pipe.It were blooming heaven. Right in trough me glob were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody sin size bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody sleep together ent so blooming bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass instrument for the flaming fuck. Once I shot me bloody payload in thee its for bally life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody loading over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty dollar bill guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a sort heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to spud a dose of hot nerve up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your unsound Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me cock was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for crashing pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next clip perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me all-fired cock hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may imbibe my teats if it helps to excite you."And with that she pulled her bosom right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our oral fissure met, our tongues entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was blinking fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an 60 minutes or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're accordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us have the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a crashing sea captain, '' I explained,"We can nip down blooming harbour and I can do crashing married couple, no bloody want to waste bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the igniter behind her. But at end of blinking day its what they fucks like what issue and she's fucking sensation and no mistake, even if she do come from bloody Lancashire .