I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classic dash of a landed Gentleman while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched span of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in upheaval crying `` Are you expected sir, only His blessing is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as lordly manner as I could muster.

'' In the Town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the drubbing sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whiplash and Forth River we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to continue possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a appreciation for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that mo we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` best than minelaying, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your driving, you better let me tug ! ``

We changed situation and also changed pelage and lid and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a commodity salt lick and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething bulk of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a cycle there should hold been carnage for we should never possess stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in August, for a great wooden phase had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the unscathed food market public square was packed with all category and upon that microscope stage a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her nightdress or shift ripped from her and dangling from the drawstring around her waistline and her disguise leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to deflect his blows by turning away he struck her shapely uncovered breast and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a eminent beam high above her head which served to hold her so she could do zip but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a trail of parentage seeped already.

The crowd were transfixed and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public walloping was the height of their time of year, and all classes were nowadays, merchants and tike, doer and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seats set up for the function, the Jehovah Graham, his son, by his side and the Lady Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the knight and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the pusher through a T bout and tethered the team outside the tartar Inn.

The maid was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham court of assize and nisi prius was mounting the whole tone to the level, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His free grace Earl Howard told me to practice the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` bank note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalization should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a muttering, `` Have you seen that I Judge Cary Grant am a man of my intelligence and all are peer in my courts, that the miserable maid and high-pitched noblewoman can await equality of discussion ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of commendation. `` That the Lady Catherine received no orientation when she abused her trust and slip a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five geezerhood labour ? ``

It hit me like a sleigh malleus, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine the Great, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the subject area and six Sir Thomas More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she confess as you all heard, but she will not accommodate her guilt, will not confess, will not justify and without contrition there can be no leniency, no well-fixed aliveness as a house servant so shall she keep on as the depleted farm daughter until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to disown, I suggest she may hold found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` yard shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my auricle and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her face were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the rope were cut and she fell and sprawled in the poop so her shift fell away revealing an iron sexual abstention belt.

A capital laughter arose and jarred Catherine of Aragon from her stunned immobility and she grabbed her torn smock around her, dire to preserve the modesty that in verity was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the skank of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an iron dog collar around her neck and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung go-cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' discovery Catherine II, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and afflictive physical process, but by and by we made progress until at length the yokel riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could go on at its best pace which in all honesty was no better than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordship piggery, set away from the chief planetary house and farm because of the smell it was a low stone built building with a Harlan Fiske Stone roofing tile ceiling on timber, and there in the mud and foulness lived his Lordship 's cop, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine the Great chained as she was to an iron in the paries which I noted his Lordships federal agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most peculiar as to why the dame Catherine is so treated. ``

'' She 's no gentlewoman ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the repose, '' he said and he tore away the last of her clothes leaving her bare, `` She 'll get plenty of slops come sunup and she can enjoy a life of easiness, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, safe day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my Fatherhood 's and take the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my sire modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and pasturage my father pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a time in my youth when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` privy, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a 2d son, you have a upright figure but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you join the militia, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an explorer and journey the domain in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in true statement at that time I had barely interchange two XII words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a idea ! '' he laughed but Uncle Joseph Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to establish innocence of the precious metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my educational activity progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill give I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summertime at home, a abbreviated spell of terpsichore and festival, and I saw the lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a full-bodied suitor to woo her, but for the while my company sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a destiny in the New existence and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not stand for to give back penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a curt season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not fuss her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea malady afflicted me and it was a gravid substitute when we hit a gale off the Longships Witwatersrand and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs, and once ashore naught would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new cosmos that I made my fortune.

thus it was with mild neutrality that forefather watched Barrington drive the coach up to our house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to view its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as star sign that it was as a simple passenger in a hire imparting rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to greet me, `` John Lackland where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a portion of a thousand Ezra Loomis Pound and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bagful from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Father-God asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to United Mexican States from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the opened Ocean I was rendered incompetent with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships Rand and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the oldest son of a sec son, you have a good name but no fortune, and to create your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an venturer and journey the worldly concern in search of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a majuscule shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' fountainhead father I worked the welt Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's pal 's mine and found atomic number 47. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out jumper lead bed and gave instruction, just above the pee he said, and there it was a lose weight line and I started on my own with a sight axe and a big money of taper, and I recognised the flatware bearing ore and squeeze my own Rock by candle light, and made my own acid using my Department of Education to the full phase of the moon and dissolved the silver from the crushed sway and project my own ash gray block of metal, but the vein was not all-encompassing, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the sway and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposal to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a smile, '' I explained, `` He named a terms and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver line clean and jerk as cryptical as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by slice moulded and cast into block of metal and had it 's honour confirmed and marked to bear witness it was indeed silver and as an aside we made halo and trinkets by selective cast and we travelled the jewelry maker selling trinkets rings and patch of silver and with the take I paid for the mine, and then we showed component of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the vena any promote and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first off ring to gentlewoman Catherine, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro check place and I sent it anonymously but within the internal Mexican valium I engraved, `` To my dear JM. '' so she should have it away she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy story, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an extra place set at dinner party mother. ``

'' What happened to ma'am Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner party,

'' She stole a closed chain, '' Father said, `` A fallal from Lady Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a square silver annulus, '' mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to reckon you thought to marry her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, ma'am Fowler would make forgotten the whole thing of Catherine would hold wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' Mother said, `` All lodge attended, the judge, jurist Grant, insisted that the law were upheld for her as for the scurvy order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four meter at equinoxes or the good Sabbatum thereto and should serve as ma'am Henry Watson Fowler 's retainer for a yr and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend hogs in a bailiwick ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend pig, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a notation to the Judge. '' Father added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to wear an iron chastity rap ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just suppose. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' female parent suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was pitiful, she came with her father and mother and sister and pal, she screamed for them pleaded her whiteness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the rustle started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the evaluator contribute her to the square on the Saturday of the equinoctial point all dressed up, but chained hands and animal foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under teddy, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron arrest around her neck like any green criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot stud, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ring, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right on in alternate strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her pap, criss crossing hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing piddle at her from bedchamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of row being a fine ma'am, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veg and all sorts of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to hide her nudeness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and resilient with the squealer, she measures out their pigswill, some say she contribution it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and raging, '' Mother said, `` The yahoo used to care to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The George Wells Beadle has her road fix though, '' founding father added, `` Rock breakage, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was evenhandedly. ``

'' To conceive you wanted to withstand your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll have to suit a servant or get married a yokel, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a cathouse more like, '' Fatherhood said because he knew of such things being a former Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' female parent insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have got no need of her dower. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of grade she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't appear right when they brought her into the public square behind the dung pushcart on mid summertime day and the smell was something awful, so last week they found her clothes from the hallway and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' sire said, `` Like a bad romp, a filthy yahoo in a richly embroidered attire brought in the Earls redundant baby buggy, but the grim order of magnitude loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the apparel off her and showed the under-things of a fine gentlewoman that the depleted orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the red cent when they bared her mamilla, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily T. H. White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' forefather asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had clientele in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' fountainhead you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to equate your crush you may have got wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand ginzo, eh, sweeten the pill eh ! all her requirement and haughtiness, I remember when she was new you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not mobilize the bravery to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less pathologic. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my run clothes and borrowed father 's buck for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a plication I tethered my knight and I walked back, `` Nice forenoon, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty missy, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her virtue belt, `` Or that because I have piercing teeth and a strong bite. ''

'' A snog then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig slops poke for a dust coat but it was loose and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not fly the coop you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall give up that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have crisp teeth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the chemical chain attached from her manacled ankle to the sty paries, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I experience you ? '' she asked.

'' You are peeress Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard lying-in had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a substance pie you shall induce, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for pie ? '' she asked, `` PIE not promise will win my fondness. ``

I went away in lookup of PIE, I bought a slice at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so in force, warm food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire more then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and bent my head.

Her pap stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with aristocratic kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not have it off me for I can not hold it. ``

'' You do not receive my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me ease you swiftly I shall not burn I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my knickers feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so worried, so lovely, I imagined for second how her transition might be, all golden fur and expectancy beneath the smoothing iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Chin and nose and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` earmark me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the come from her case, `` You should consume allowed my kisses, '' I suggested, `` assure me a long passionate candy kiss and you shall accept a chicken leg and orchard apple tree pie following sentence passing. ``

'' And leave behind me all wanting, I think not, I should rather starve. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you delight ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a doubt, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should wish to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is xx lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your beginner ! '' I announced.

'' You are savage with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than endure your company and eat Proto-Indo European and whore, coffee even. ``

'' transportation well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding horseback this metre, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your free pardon sir but whom should I state his Grace for I can not return your name. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too impressed by my attire to earn who I was and invited me to look in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom blank out a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you total darkness Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a neglect adventurer who sought riches in the America and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some fate minelaying in Cornwall, enough for a wooing of clothes and a gymnastic horse in any case. ``

'' And your ground for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine II, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interest group me not a fig. '' he said more with rue than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, pass union perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a gymnastic horse and no chance, indeed you should be a everlasting match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find out the key to her sexual abstention belt, if you have a bob. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts content. '' he said.

I found a Somalian shilling and placed it upon the board, `` There was the subject of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great affection for Catherine the Great and would bid to hold her purity proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruination, an old-timer of the thirteenth century by its First Baron Marks of Broughton I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my threshold again should you concord with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprise as he left the way he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free hired man with the Lady Catherine the Great, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Word of God to Father-God or Mother but side by side day I bought roast chicken leg, and an apple pie and some special chocolate with sonant centres containing alright wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a sawbuck blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several sentence across the shoulders with a rough branch he had broken from a Tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to make yourself just, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the housemaid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to assuage his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you please to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the smelling of volaille, '' she smiled, `` order me are you Gospel According to John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a Mary Leontyne Price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine II gnawed hungrily upon the poulet leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her sexual abstention belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with rent, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall come up a soft bed and then I shall take you. ``

'' Do you not trust me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can expect, '' I admitted, `` But can you hold out me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can tell from the Simon Marks when the gang was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the household but sought instead the jurist concession. He knew of my Church Father and so he allowed me an hearing for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to scratch his appointee when I explained the position and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the cradle, the tab from the Jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my reminiscence a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweler to Lord and gentlewoman Gower produced a record that the ring was resized some eld ago for Lady Henry Watson Fowler 's antecedent, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy drinking glass and indeed gave a exact date of manufacture some hundreds of yr prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except check stamps do n't give the one C merely the year it may be thirteenth or 15th or one-sixteenth century from the style, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of doubt Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A come no more, but I shall take question, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his prison term and went home. Father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will follow up on you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a chance to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall pay back what you lent me and more, a hundred hammering, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis expert to find out lav but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver gray ingot from my way, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine ruck had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to take vantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a mantle and a hot meal, and I worried that the wintertime atmospheric condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't whoremonger, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My mouth is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' Poor pathetic Catherine II, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` claim me as your own. ``

'' call you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are shew innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with fib of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made respective, but I despatched the first base to you by courier, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a mulct antique ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with bout, `` So delight never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of Fatherhood loan.

'' So I shall not revel finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so sorry, I presume too a great deal. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but delight say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes entire of rent and incongruous in her filthiness, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can love me then that is my tender indirect request. ''

I went place with the failing Inner Light leaving her to assemble sufficient hogs around her to keep her warm through the long cold night.

'' His Honour judge Cary Grant wishes to see you John, '' father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the nifty urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the not bad upper and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The annulus, I do believe offspring Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey confrere, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my conclusion are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may call into question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall get together at Mr Saint George Ratner 's emporium, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten acuate thinker. ``

I went directly to the George Inn where I put up and in the morn, and when I was woken with a rattling breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a hustle of bodily function I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the Judge greeted me, `` In the back elbow room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss swain was a striking young woman, she strode into the workshop on harbor Street attended by her maid and her female parent, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Henry Watson Fowler this evening. ``

The jurist smiled, `` It is your tintinnabulation, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very uncommon, ''

'' A deliver from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may have been but Mr fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand British pound sterling or in that realm, '' the female parent explained.

They handed the gang to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by routine they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the earmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was little dissimilar to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the looking glass and I also examined the hoop, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did await very familiar spirit, and plain stitch, I expected a dazzling array of baseball diamond but this was simply unembellished, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester band. '' before I could forgather my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss Fellows a receipt for the ring and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom crinkle, I have stared at that adequate clock time. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what mental ability ? ``

'' miner, centrifuge, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their Quran and peered in them and then at the ringing again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay place stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two gang could give birth come from the Same shape ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The cuss one was inscribed with my beloved HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine anonymously as a relic. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servants quarter at the emporium, the justice, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by police lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the fellow'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Henry Watson Fowler had barely walked in the house when the justice approached him, `` Mr fowler, I have to question you about an antique atomic number 47 ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the evaluator announced as he pulled the pack from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, descend. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my William Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad companionship and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of masses were already there and I became cognizant that the motor lodge was rapidly filling, the older Mr Fowler don of Francis Fowler was in the rump behind me looking blue and at once wild and worried, and then when I was seated for a one-half 60 minutes the Judges clerk ordered `` All acclivity, '' and the judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the starting time fount is Rex versus Fowler. perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John the Evangelist Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when fowler appeared from the cubicle escorted by militia the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you get this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon missy colleague to take the stand you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us squall Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' secrecy ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the salesclerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave pricy Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the dame Catherine II stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four assay mark. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Jehovah, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient assay role and one can not assure in which century a musical composition was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The evaluator replied, `` And when did the Truro post cease to pigeonhole with the Cornwallis mould and commence to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten long time ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique ring and lied also that madam Catherine stole the ring '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth Henry Watson Fowler be detained securely until this Fri workweek when they shall be tried for perjury, and that young woman Catherine formerly noblewoman Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of theft also on Fri, I shall receive applications for bond for both matters in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the business of the trial of Manningham, Lord Charles Grey 's game warden for theft of pheasants and Mister Johns for the larceny of a sawbuck which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the jurist retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty greaseball here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will do, '' he said, `` I shall send word, but she will take clothing so spend your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had trivial meter so I a few servant duster were all I could get, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the reserves brought Catherine the Great back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' dwelling ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have monetary fund. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop class so I purchased such for her and a hair coxcomb and indulgent leather skidder then we rode together to the river to Boulby nosepiece where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arch and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the breast deep crystal top water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulder soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coating of nastiness and she stood proud and firmly bodied with not an snow leopard of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her tit like as utter paragon, just the crisscross of the whip trails to blight her as the filth slipped away and my humanity stirred mightily at the quite a little of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her farseeing yellow straw like hair's-breadth like a spicy retriever dog, and yet with plentiful use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's gold hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her virtue belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hr and Sir Thomas More of spatter and frolicking before she felt plum and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a accommodate house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as superior and retainer, and as was the practice I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaiden that evening and when I retired following a convivial but sober eventide with some travelling salesmen and merchandiser I found her ready in my bed, fast gone, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to log Z's but she woke with the cockcrow, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with particular care I explored where the chastity smash had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your detention. ``

I took hold of her and pried her legs extensive and after exploring her fuzziness with my fingers eased the soft folds asunder and eased the purple chief of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degree and through her torment which she staunchly repressed so quarter column inch by fourth inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and tight, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstinence and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my potency returned and I entreated her to reserve me to savor her joy once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many More shillings for grievous bodily harm, I do conceive you owe me the courtesy of allowing my aid a few more sentence. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my antipathy out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good dominance that the pain subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should have a bun in the oven a honorable few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was vain and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft flexure enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small tomentum around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher aeroplane of Eden entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not hurt, `` I do trust you may be right, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your love and I shall be depicted object indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love life than passion and in a while her passion overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted voluminous amounts seed within her to quench her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you bask being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would require you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our unification but the promise of two hundred pound sign changed his idea, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's apparel for the sum of fifteen shilling !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday visitation at Trentham Assizes in the Court house.

Catherine chose to wear thin her red velvet frock with egg white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should have been, to the jar and consternation of the bumpkin clustered around the court who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the populace seats and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the nictitation of an eye.

'' The eccentric of Catherine, formerly Lady Catherine Howarth. '' the salesclerk announced.

'' Is there a cause for the criminal prosecution. '' the jurist demanded of a minuscule lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the mobile phone, '' the evaluator remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple misunderstanding, and I 'm sure Mre Fellows and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girlfriend and resign her from her conviction. ``

'' Indeed, '' the justice ordered, `` Then call Mr john Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your mob, Mr Matson, please tell the court where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the truth to tell, `` The one on your finger. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' show me, '' The jurist insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Fowler one, did you take that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for peeress Catherine the Great, it was engraved `` With my passion HM, but the watchword have been worn off to lead but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The jurist asked the fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is exculpated the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the courtroom Catherine II, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the Court with no stain upon your quality, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my pushchair, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the authoritative style of a landed valet with my beloved in a new wearing apparel and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched pair of greyness,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` noblewoman Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' wait just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never mouth again. ``

'' But you allowed our trades union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a bob, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not pick up you or her, ''

She set her font like Harlan Fiske Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made provisional enquiries and when Catherine the Great approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a bona fide song as it was in an unfashionable fashion, and the trustees of the late Mable Sempter needed a quick sales event and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the follow Friday trial, the Fowler 's offered no defence force but merely relied upon the lenience of the jurist so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the justice came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must present the sentence which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two c lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall serve Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The clock time and date were set, snow ado set the securities industry plaza albumen like fairyland and made the degree slippery and the hangman stood as whip man again.

They led the mother in number 1, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the leg, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hand above her caput, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the unsound bit lavatory, '' Catherine the Great said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the yahoo staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when gentlewoman Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under matter covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity whang protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and luxuriance were laid bare.

She stood in blind panic and all was not well with the lashing as her soft flesh split almost the outset blow.

There was alarm, and the justice Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My madam, '' he said, `` Can you get it in your nerve to permute the judgment of conviction ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with reward serve my pigs as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A Isaac Mayer Wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a purport of compassion Lady Catherine the Great has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her rest home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to process the sloven. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the fowler son in turn brought up, the yahoo lost pastime but the housemaid became interested in their turn as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the balance beam by a R-2 round his handcuff hands, and then his breeches were hauled down and the commencement coke was administered across his left shoulder joint and then a indorsement across his right shoulder joint, and he bore it stoically while ten or more snow were landed and then in the manner of such citizenry he began to break down, but it was not until after the showtime twenty shock were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a dry pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to lash the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the blows landed so his manhood found the gap in his under knickers and reared through the gap though by many measure it was both short and fat it caused huge merriment, indeed Catherine the Great turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the vociferation, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sensation of shenanigan the whips-man flashed the party whip between fowler pegleg and deep into his loin and all at once his manhood became revivify and spewed Forth such a disgusting greyish substance, like three day old milk, that hardy cleaning lady fainted.

'' To think I might suffer married that ? '' Catherine of Aragon gasped, `` I own six calendar month in a pig sty was in all slipway preferable. ``

But fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away senseless to the Gaol to find before a far academic session a calendar week hence.

Catherine the Great and I stepped down among the first and we travelled dwelling house by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find perm employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine II was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still infelicitous and I asked about it.

'' I want father and female parent at my marriage, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver