`` What storey ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding senior high school above Magdelene Street while
answering my cell phone.

'' The lounge base, '' a woman with a plummy dialect insisted, `` It 's staining the cap downstairs it really is not good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' John Griffith Chaney ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' Well it 's not good enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a obscure promise, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall carry you at seven this eve, that should give you clock time for shower and a tall mallow Burger. ``

'' That 's flush hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving London favorite, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't ingest much choice really, so I thew my tools in the old transportation system at knocking off metre and headed round mom for a bite to eat and a shower before hitting the M40 eastward bound.

The dealings was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her seat around ten to seven, an old fashion township home with a few pace up to the front door and a few down to the cellar, probably 1880 ish, bath stone faced to first floor tier then generate, a red brick structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're early, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' wellspring improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to earmark me into the hallway. She looked lately thirties acted like ninety, snotty bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a miss 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But schoolmistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maidservant outfit about four size of it too belittled, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her bellybutton which must have been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry fancy woman. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your orb back in, they 're on stem ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh ignite up and smell the java, '' she insisted, `` Really the humble mindedness of the typical British worker never fails to astound me. ``

'' None of my business ma'am. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't push it. '' she said as she locked the remote door behind me, `` But we are not here to discourse my sexual preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the sofa, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed lingua and groove stripped true pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong spirit of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The flooring, '' she said, `` passing water, you were instructed to varnish it. ``

'' Not against water leaks, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spillage should be fine. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could reach it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had dear see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stairs from the spacious Bodoni kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the entrepot room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water supply, '' I said, and I rubbed my fingerbreadth against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing system go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the foul drainage, null to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me demonstrate. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` show up our invitee the problem. ``

'' Mistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man Mistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show attrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My mind boggled, she had done her effective but her titty still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the arse couple of inches of her slit were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please Mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid tiddler, '' she insisted.

I had no estimate what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'pit ! '' I swore, `` No damned marvel it leaks and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Norman Mattoon Thomas throne, Armitage product and all that ? ''

'' And in your small minded world have you no knowledge of water supply sports ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, pee skiing, but not pissing on the living room base. ``

'' And it had no core on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to animation quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some space,

'' seed Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't disgrace a to the full grow lapin. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you mean Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a nice rigid forearm to the transitory stiffness of the male extremity, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob smack if I 'm honorable. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a short rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like stopcock, '' the Mistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing storey ? '' I asked.

'' Your erection Young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of track I got a gruelling on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' Ninety seven percent of the grownup universe, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a nonage fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the selection I would prefer the old Saint Thomas Crapper urinal to the support room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the alternative of her mouth, my mouth, in my fuzz, in her pilus, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a cerebration, '' I admitted.

'' The exemption to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to save bedroom kitty under the bed when my 1000 dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my point Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't serve, does n't the thought process of your pee arcing through the air to intoxicate my clothes, my bandeau, my breasts, does that not excite you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your lips are silent yet your cock speaks book, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like turncock, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor missy she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a short leash, from her revealing wear to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all design and design, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walks in the parking area, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the crap max. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the john, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a cunt. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my jeans, my turncock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' expression, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic activity not readily slip for any former. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' Look, '' I said, `` You need coat and coats of seal, yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in intellect when you had the place done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract bridge, strictly President William Henry Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a triviality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the less makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the waterproofing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the trouble ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four time of day to dry between, its farcical ! ``

'' I 'll pay for material, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's mouth, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper halfway year bitch, who would n't want to make in her face ? but Pippa, well, to be honorable I just wanted to ram my straining cock oceanic abyss in her sweetness pink pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for age have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like hammer do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you digit and my flirt fancy woman, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft post for it but as I mentioned a inflexible forearm beats a flexible dick on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole way bare, no furniture, it will be about a week after the last coat before you can risk using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the cellar, tile the floor like a shower, tile the walls a bit too, not Patrick White but maybe slate gray or something, then you can play there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temp criterion and for those awfully wet Nox, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of mental, `` Well to form a job we really postulate to take out the existing, joystick in a membrane. ``

'' How much ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball parking area, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two daylight, then you 'll need a plumber to do the exhibitor heads or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Monday week if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed coloration Stephen Samuel Wise it should be easy enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` netmail me the last credit and I am sure enough we have a deal. Can I get you a glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bump in my denim.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' commodity, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' Good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` so long Pippa, skillful to see you, '' I said and she blushed ruby, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front end door, `` The market keeper 's entry is down the steps to the right, '' she explained, `` au revoir Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' Good night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big smiling on my face, I just turned a complaint into two solar day paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to hear about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a all-fired deviate !

To be continued