Five balls left. ogdoad runs to win. And the ninth wicket's just fallen.

I walk down the stairs from the marquee and onto the plain, passing Susan on the way in. She's muttering furiously to herself, but takes a mo to glower at me."Don't you dare prance this up,"she hisses."Take a bloody run somehow and give Jen the strike."Slamming her bat on the land for stress, she stalks off back to the pavilion.

The auction pitch looks very far away as I walk over the grass towards it. God, or the ogre, knows I'm no batswoman - I can accurately be called a weasel ( goes in after the rabbit, ha ha ) - even at the best of times.

So going out last wicket, with the match, and to a greater extent, at post isn't exactly calculated to fill up me with confidence.

Jen shakes her read/write head slightly as I walk past her, not saying anything. Jen doesn't often say anything, but her gesture are eloquent. Right now she's thinking that she'd rather have had literally anyone else at the early end. And I sympathise, I don't want to be here either.

The lattice steward, a jolly disastrous girl whose epithet I haven't caught, grins as I take guard."Going to get out first bollock, I'll bet you a tenner."

I block her out. I've had some practice in blocking out negative gossip - practice stretching back the whole 20 two eld of my life. A little sledging is nothing. Besides, my mouth is dry and my warmness hammering as I watch the bowler swing her arm a couple of clip before starting on her run up. I doubt I'd be able to say much even if I wanted.

At least there isn't a crowd. Not that there ever is for adult female's match, but the output is even thinner than usual today, just a smattering of people with zip better to do. We're both visiting squad, so there isn't even the usual contingent of family members and boyfriends. But, hollow stands or not, this plot is important. Everyone knows that after the fatal twain of year the national incline's had, the * * * * * * * * * * * ors are planning on John R. Major changes for the coming series against Bharat, not to mention the man Cup after that. A lot of places are going to open up on the team, and this is one of the tournaments they'll be watching keenly.

I've done my bit with the orb, taken five for forty in my ten overs, without conceding a unity supernumerary. But their derby hat didn't fail either. And so here we are.

Their sea captain has scented blood, and moves the field in closer. Two slips, silly mid on and off, and the grille keeper right behind the stump. I'm surrounded.

The bowler trots up to the bowling crease, the testicle floats through the air towards me, and as it pitches at right length, I forget all my design of how I'd hold it and swat clumsily at it crossbreed batted. And, incredibly, feel it connect hard and heavy, proper in the middle of the blade ; it soars past silly mid-on's phrenetic snatch, bounces near the leg umpire, and begins rolling towards the ropes.

Jen is sprinting towards me, screaming for a run, but I am so astonished at actually hitting the globe that she's halfway down the lurch before I start to move. Not that it matters ; by the time I'm at the other end the ball has rolled over the boundary, defeating the fieldsman racing to kibosh it.

Four balls to go, four ladder to win. I trudge back up the pitch, crossing Jen.

"Run faster, you stupid cow,"she mutters out of the corner of her rima oris."Don't bloomin'daydream."

The wicket keeper grins again."See, glad I am that you didn't take the bet. But I'll bet you that you get out this time !"

Their captain has realised that her theatre of operations's set too close, that if anything passes the close-in fielder it's outdoors ground all the way to the boundary. She pulls back the close-in fielders, so I'm not crowded in. So when the plug hat sends down the adjacent Lucille Ball and I poke at it, the orchis hitting the edge of my bat and lobbing towards gully, there's nobody to bust up the easy catch.

And Jen and I manage to scramble across for a single, too.

Three balls to go, three campaign to get.

The succeeding ball is a colossus. It rears up from beneficial length to chest meridian. Jen somehow manages to conjure up her bat to block it, and it falls to the ground at her feet like a abruptly chick. The hoop keeper collects it and tosses it to the bowler. Two globe to go, three running game to get.

In the prison term before the bowler begins her run up, I take a quick look around at the pavilion. Everyone in the squad is standing at the balcony, staring at us. Wonderful, no insistence at all, then.

"bowling ball a no testicle,"I whisper desperately under my hint."Please bowl a no ball."

No such hazard, naturally. The bowler delivery outside the off pulpit, the ball cutting in, but Jen manages to bump it towards covert peak. Even before the glob's fairly cleared the rake, she's sprinting across, and I rush past her, refer my bat to the crimp and turn, hoping we'll be able to take another. No luck. The ball slaps into the wicket gate keeper's glove.

"Getting a soupcon interesting, innit ?"she laughs as she throws it back to the bowler.

One chunk to go, two trial to get, and I'm the one who's supposed to hit them.

‘ Interesting'isn't what I'd call it. Terrifying, maybe. Adrenaline-flooding, yes. Some former actor's line along those lines. ‘ Interesting'doesn't make the grade.

The other position's captain and the bowler hold a conference, glancing at me every few tidings. They move the mystifying orbit around a bit and then she begins her bowling run.

The ball leaves her hand, swim bladder towards me, and I'm already stepping forward to meet it, feel the shiver of the bat as I strike it, the testicle rising over her head before bouncing towards long off, and Jen is already partway down the pitch when I take off running.

time seems to retard down. My feet hitting the ground at every stride seem to accept an eternity. In the distance I see the other position's maitre d'hotel running after the ball, swooping as she runs to pick it up and turning to shake off, the umpire moving out of the way to the side, Jen in my peripheral vision racing past me, the crease coming up, I'm already stretching my arm and the bat to touch it…

…and then a while of dry earth spins away under my groundwork, and I'm slipping, falling on my hands and articulatio genus, crawling desperately to get my bat across the crease.

Too late. I don't even need to look up. The clatter of ball on stumps tells me all I need to know.

We've lost. By one undivided bloody run.



I'm sitting in a far corner of the bar room on the priming coat trading floor of the team hotel, nursing a violently coloured cocktail the name of which I don't even remember ; I'd pointed it out at random on the drinks bill of fare. It tastes about the same as it looks. I'm hoping to be able-bodied to stay there all evening until it's time for bed.

No fate there either, apparently. A darkness falls across the table.

An offensively cheerful voice :"Drowning your ruefulness in drink, are you ?"

I look up slowly. It's the jolly ignominious wicket keeper. She slips into the seat opposite me without asking."I wouldn't recommend it. The damn thing can always swim."

I make a noncommittal noise. I don't want to ask what she wants, but she answers as though I had, anyway.

"Saw you sitting here all alone from across the room. You were just radiating misery. Slagged you off, did they ?"

"You have no theme,"I say.

"Ace, you can actually talk !"She grins that smart as a whip grinning."I thought you'd gone deaf-and-dumb person or something. So, they didn't like it that you didn't score one run ? Well, the ten of them put together couldn't score two hundred and fourteen, so why blame you ?"

"It's not just that…we're on the verge of getting eliminated from the tournament. And once we're out, there goes the chance of national * * * * * * * * * * * ion."

"Oh, total on. You'll win the next match, easy. Just save bowling like you did today."She pulls an exaggerated side."I didn't even see the ball with which you got me."

"Uh…sorry about that."I sit back and take a good look at her. In a T shirt and without her helmet she's extraordinarily eye-catching. Her poor tomentum cling to her scalp, emphasising the clean line of products of her nerve ; the tiny he-man of her earrings only show off the elegant human body of her spike, a sparse silver grey chain of mountains bent between the gentle swell of her tit. I feel a faint stirring inside me, but push it down. This arresting lady friend could never be matter to in me that way."I might have hurt your chances for * * * * * * * * * * * ion."

She scoffs."Oh, naff off. Next you'll secern me you should've only bowled full tosses at me so I could score a century. What the hell are you drinking ?"

"I don't know. I picked it out at random."

She picks it up and takes a sip."Good lord, it's terribly. time lag, I'll get us beer."

Before I can even suffice that she doesn't have to, she's gone, and reappears in a moment with two tankards of foaming bitterness."Here."

I take a sip. The taste of it rises with the bubble into the back of my nozzle. I bury a sneeze."I'm sorry, but I didn't get your name."

"No worries ! I didn't get yours. I'm Karizma Davis."

"Charisma ?"

"With a kay and a zed."She spells it out, grinning."illusion, innit ? And you are ?"

"Zhang Do…"I begin automatically, then as automatically flip it around to Western name order."Dongmei Zhang."

"Ace. From China, are you ?"

"well, my mum is, from Shanghai. My dad was born in Hong Kong. They came here before they met and got married. I was born in this country."I take a warm look at her, but see none of the guarded saying that comes over so many people's faces when they hear my name and realise I'm not Korean or Nipponese as they'd assumed."They're really very conservative in a lot of way of life, so they insisted on giving my sister and me Chinese names."

"Nothing incorrect with that."She swigs her beer."Imagine being called Vicky or Penny or something Zhang. Horrible. So what does it have in mind ?"

"Dongmei ? winter Plum Blossom."I brace myself for the usual straightaway mocking smirk, but it doesn't come.

"Now that's a proper brilliant figure, if I do say so. You should be proud of it."She glances at my beer."You aren't boozing. Are you all right ?"

I sigh."It's just that…you know, this unscathed thing is getting me down a bit. My parents aren't exactly thrilled about me playing cricket. They want me to give up this waste of prison term, as they call it, and start helping out in the household business. The only way I can reply adequately is realize my way into the national team. Then, hopefully, they'll lay off the pressing. I am,"I proclaim,"really a terrible disappointment to them. My elder baby, now, she can't do any wrong. And she's already handling the account and all that, while I waste my time running around a playing field with a red leather ball, as my mum never ceases to remind me."

Karizma - I run the epithet over in my mind - nods."That's hard cheeseflower. But don't trouble, you'll go places. Not just the India serial publication, either. You're going to the World Cup."

Despite myself, I laugh."The World Cup ! That's about as likely as my becoming the first miss on Mars."

"Don't run yourself down. Leave that to all the pudding head. They're good at it and that's all they're adept at."I chuckle at that, and she laughs again. Her laugh is infectious."What's the folk business, then ?"

"They run a Chinese eatery. The end matter I want to do is spend my days taking parliamentary procedure for Hakka noggin and wonton soup. Can you see me in a restaurant kitchen in an proscenium and hairnet, all red faced in the steam ?"

She cocks her caput like a terrier and looks at me."I don't know, that's a pretty interesting image, really. Now come on and drink up so I can get us another round."

When she returns, she hands me a beer and sits back."Now narrate me about yourself."

"What about me ?"I'm surprised.

"I mean, what do you like ? moving-picture show ? euphony ? Your taste in Bible ?"

I shrug."I'm not really one for movie. Especially not romcoms or action motion picture. I can watch an occasional repulsion movie, just as long as it's funny."

"Ha ! I love those. Especially when they try very tough to be scary and end up doing the opposite."She raises her blazonry before her, lets her articulatio radiocarpea droop, tilts her capitulum and lets her clapper loll out."Braaiiins !"

I laugh so grueling that I snort beer up my nose.

We talk about books and medicine and things for a while, and cricket recedes, and we aren't on paired team anymore, just two untried cleaning lady chatting in a hotel bar room.

"So it was knotty for you growing up ?"she asks, when we get around to talking about school."I mean, you know…"

"Yes. You can imagine what people said during COVID, not to my nerve but so I could hear."I shrug."I've mature good at ignoring stuff like that, but it still hurts."

"I'm sorry,"she says, and looks as though she really means it. Maybe she's gone through some of the Lapp affair, as a opprobrious somebody."My parents said they had it ruffianly, too, age ago."

"What do your parents do ?"

"Mum's a college prof in economic science. Dad, well, Dad…"she begins to laugh.

"What ?'

"He's a sportscaster. He literally did the commentary on today's match !"

I do a facepalm."Oh god. How he must have laughed at me for falling like that, final stage ball."

"Oh, he doesn't do that sort of thing, unless if I fall. Then he has a proper good chuckle."She raises her beer."Here's to falling together !"

I raise mine and she knocks our tankards together. That is the first time I've done it. I've only seen it in the movies."Shall we go have something to eat ?"I ask."I'm suddenly a fiddling peckish."

"Aye, totally. I could murder a dinner party. wassail up and let's get to the eatery !"

It's late when I go back upstairs to my elbow room. I'm lucky that I don't have a roommate, so I don't have to care about noise. I discase, skirmish my teeth, and am in bed in ten transactions.

Only then does it happen to me to enquire what she meant by saying it was an worry image when I mentioned being red faced in an apron and hairnet in the kitchen steam.



Early the next day we have net practice.

I'm bowling to Claire in the network, sending down leg breakout and an occasional googly for her to take in. She's our ‘ custodian and not very proficient at recognising what I'm going to bowl from my articulatio radiocarpea legal action. She's missing or dropping a full quartern of what I bowl at her, and that's though I'm not exactly feeling up to giving my best. Claire was one of the most song of those yelling at me for losing the match yesterday.

After XX second she's had sufficiency and goes for a body of water fault. I stretch and rub my back muscles, and swing my arm around to ease my shoulder joint. Then I see someone watching, who gives me a little wafture when she sees I've noticed her.

It's Karizma, of course. I walk over to her."Hi. You're playing tomorrow, aren't you ?"

She nods."Yeh. And nets after you're done. I hate nets."

"How did you ever become a wicket keeper ?"I'm genuinely rum."Did you not ever need to be an all- libertine or bowler ?"

She laughs easily."Simple. When I started playing cricket back at school, the only expansion slot left open on the team was for the grille keeper. I could either be the ‘ steward or not spiel. I decided to be the ‘ keeper."

"And good at it,"I said. I remembered how yesterday she'd taken prominent diving gimmick worthy of Robert Adam Gilchrist or marker Boucher. Out of the corner of my eye I see Claire glaring at me impatiently, waiting for another round of chagrin."I've got to go. tariff calls."

"I noticed."She hesitates a minute."Dongmei ?"

"Yeah ?"

"Can we meet again this even ? I'm a bit lonely."

This dazzling female child, lonely ? I can't believe it. I swallow.

"Yes, of class,"I say, and the interpreter that emerges from my throat doesn't phone like my own.



"See,"Karizma says, putting her beer mug down on the tabular array with what might be a jot excessive personnel,"I don't make friends easily."

"You don't ?"I shake my head, confused."But you didn't have any problem approaching me cobbler's last nighttime, so…"

She goes on as though I've not spoken."You don't make friends easily either, don't you ?"

"Is it that obvious ?"

"Fuckin'aye it is."If she notices me wincing at the swear password, she doesn't let on."I noticed that last night right off, Dongmei. We're the Saame kind. That's why I came over to you, because I saw the signs."

"Now that you put it that way…"I nod."Are we friends ?"

She sits back and esteem me with a undertone of wariness in her heart."Do you not want us to be ?"

"Hell, yes ! Of course I want to be friends !"An unbidden news bulletin of my schooldays appears to me ; the odd girl whom nobody really wanted to be with, the last one to be picked to partner on projects, the one who by being good on the cricket field only made it bad for those who were nowhere near as proficient."I just…"My mind drifts away, a great deal on a sea of memories.

"Dongmei ?"Karizma waves her manus in front of my face."Are you still here with me ?"

"Uh…"I nod."Yep. I was just thinking that I never really had any friends."

"What, none at all ?"

"None at school day, at to the lowest degree none that took. None outside school either. Not even in my family. My sister and I aren't close."

"I don't have a sister,"she replies quietly."Nor a comrade either. I wonder what it would be like if I had any."

"Not particularly dainty if they're Miss paragon like Biyu."

"That's your sister ?"

I nod glumly."I'm not saying she's bad. She's quite decent to me, really, near of the time at to the lowest degree. It's just that she can't do any wrong in my parents'eyes, you know ? When she was in school day she couldn't fail an exam if she tried, she doesn't ‘ waste time'playing biz, she's already helping handle the restaurant and I don't even want to cook or waitress there, she…"I shake my capitulum."When I was growing up I kept wishing I was an lonesome tyke. That's horrible of me, I know."

Karizma leans back, amused."You didn't take a span of pair of scissors and jab her in her quietus, I take it ? There you are, now that just might give birth been horrible. Perhaps. Maybe. Depending on the situation."

There are affair I can't tell her, of course of study, so her joke doesn't cheerfulness me up. I draw a inscrutable breathing place, proud of how calm I'm managing to keep my vox."Anyway. So I don't have friend and was a bit, uh, taken aback when you all but said that we are friends."

She doesn't say anything for nearly a full bit, and then leans across the table and takes my hand between hers."Dongmei Zhang."

I raise my eyebrows."Hmmm ?"

"I promise to be your admirer, if you'll have me as one."

I swallow the stumblebum that forms in my throat, and try to keep my spokesperson light and carefree."Absolutely,"I say."You can be my friend for as long as you want to be."



The next day we aren't playing, and the team's supposed to go on a head trip somewhere, a team building drill, but I beg off, and nobody effort to persuade me. Instead, since Karizma's playing, I go back to the arena.

"Hey, you."She grins and waves as soon as she sees me climbing the steps to the marquee."semen to jolly up the early gang on ?"

"Of course. I hope they wipe the lurch with you."Unthinkingly, without knowing that I was going to do it before I did it, I give her a hug, and immediately try to snap off away, thinking it's too much. Instead, she wraps her arms around me and get out me close.

"I'm happy to see you,"she whispers in my ear."I'm a bit bricked about today."

"Why ? You're going to win."

"Are we ? They're a tough lot. Defending champions and all."

"You're still going to win,"I say, and realise that I'm not just trying to cheer her up."And, anyway. I'll be here cheering you on."

"That's what I meant,"she replies."With you here I've something to play for."

"Oh, pay over."My brass heats up with my savage blushing."You'll be in the World Cup team next year, yourself."

"We both will, then."She grins, and swats my shoulder joint."Now sit here and develop moss. I've got to go get to the pre couple pep public lecture and that."

She gets back just as I've managed to find a ass with a beneficial view. I've seen her mate throw curious glance at me but nobody has yet come over and ordered me out of the pavilion. She plonks herself down next to me."Huh well. We lost the pass, so I can sit here while we bat."

She looks to a lesser extent than bothered at the chance, so I go on."That's heavy, get your rest in before their frame. So, recite me something."

"Yeh ?"

"You aren't playing cricket full time, obviously. So, what do you do the residue of the metre ?"

She laughs."I'm a postgraduate student of mathematics. My thesis is on Boolean algebra. Not the stereotype of black female, is it ?"

For a import I can't speak with amazement."Uck. I can't even say what Boolean algebra is when it's at home. If I said I was impressed, would you think I was taking the mickey ?"

Karizma turns to me with total seriousness in her oculus."From some people, yes, but not from you. Can I ask you something in take ?"

I shrug."Ask."

"What made you need up cricket ?"

I take a minute to write my thought process."When I was at school, and being compared to Biyu in everything by my parents, the only affair I wanted was to be not like her. Since she didn't play games, I decided I'd start playing. But I've always been trash at all the sports we Chinese are supposed to be serious at…"I gestured."You know, badminton, or table tennis, or any individual sport, really. So it was between cricket and field hockey, and I didn't like field hockey. I just decided to volunteer to be picked for a class game."I still think of how I was only reluctantly chosen to urinate up the entire eleven for the second team because there was literally nobody else interested."It's not as though I'd no theme how to make for, of course. I'd bowled a bit by myself, but I'd never actually played in a squad before."I rubbed my face, remembering."I was just supposed to make up the numbers game, not actually do anything. But our side was being hit all over the topographic point, so I was given the ball just so the former derby hat could aim a severance from being belted all over the field."

"Ah. And you discovered you were practiced at it."

I nod."I discovered I was upright at it."Not that it won me any champion, but it did mean I started getting picked as one of the first choices for form game, and, then, eventually, for the shoal."And so ... that's how."

"Scophthalmus rhombus. So what do you do when you aren't playacting ? I mean, since you don't help out at the restaurant."

I chuckle."Website and graphic design, some basic vitality. I sit at my computer and do things for people I'll never sports meeting. At least it pays my rip and support costs."

"You don't live with your parents, do you, I suppose not."She nods understandingly."Where do you live ?"

"I have a bedsit. It isn't much but then it's not as though I ever have any visitors."

A clatter of stumps and a cheerfulness from the arena. Their firstly wicket's fallen.

"Bugger,"Karizma sigh."I'll have to go get my pads on. Can't state when this bunch will set out collapsing like a landslide."She gets wearily to her metrical foot."We're on for tonight, aren't we ?"

"If I say we are, will that give you incentive to win ?"

She grins that superb grin."Totally."

"Then,"I say,"we are on for tonight. Now go get them."



"Whoo."Karizma flops down opposite me."I'm knackered."

"But you won, so that's all in a soundly cause."I've already got beer ready for her."Through to the semifinals already, just looking at you. And we're going to get rolled over tomorrow."

"No you won't."She sighs contentedly and puts her mug down."I needed that. No, you plonker, you're going to win, and you know why ? Because I'm going to be there screaming my throat out for you."

I feel myself blushing scarlet. That's the initiative clip anyone's ever told me that they'd cheer for me."Kazzie."

"Yeh ?"

"Suppose we lose tomorrow, all the Saami. We'll be eliminated. I'll be going home."I look up at her, trying not to show the desperation in my eyes."Will we keep in touch after ?"

She blinks at me as though this was the most ridiculous interrogative sentence she's ever been asked."Of bloomin'line we will. Why did you ever imagine otherwise ?"

I swallow, feeling embarrassed."I don't know. I'm just stupid. And a petty bit insecure."

"You don't need to be. I said I'd be your protagonist, didn't I ?"

I take a deep, shuddering breath. I feel like some underground creature that's been tunnelling its way up through the earth and suddenly realised that there was open air and blue sky up above, only then to be faced with the menace of a bowlder being rolled over it to embarrass out that air and sky again.

"I know,"I say, looking at my hands, finger twisted around each other, on the board before us."It's just that I'm not used to masses making promises to me, let alone keeping them."

"You aren't bloody well getting rid of me, I can tell you."She glances over my berm."Oh, feeling, her nibs just came in."

I turn. It's the star role player of the tournament, Sally, captain of the defending paladin, face like a movie hotshot, built like a boxer, lovely sally, darling of the photographers, leave us alone, Sally, go away now. She looks across the room at us, her pep pill lip curls, and she comes over. Oh no.

"Well, well,"she says, hand on hip, head thrust forward aggressively,"fancy seeing the two of you together. Plotting to throw match, are you ?"

We just stare at her. I'm yet to play against her, our squad are due to play tomorrow, but Kazzie caught her behind today for three, and she's shirty. Apparently I'm to be confirming wrong.

"Well ?"she demands."Cat got your tongue ?"

Kazzie and I exchange glances."Let's go have dinner party,"I say.

"Yeh,"she agrees."This room suddenly got a bit…stuffy. Can't clock why."

sallying forth glares after us as we leave. I throw a glance over my shoulder and think I can see the steam coming out of her ears.

"She'll try and hit you for six get-go formal you bowl to her tomorrow,"Kazzie says."You should get her stumped, easy."

"As long as Claire doesn't ooze it up,"I reply moodily,"but she probably will."

It's only when I'm in bed later that I realise I've started thinking of Karizma as"Kazzie ”, and calling her that, too. When did that encounter ?



I wake to a WhatsApp message from her."Remember I'll be watching and cheering."

"Won't forget,"I reply, and then add,"thank you."

She replies with a hearts-eye emoji. It's goose egg, but it still sends a thrill through me.

Get a clasp, I tell myself. She's a admirer. A friend. She isn't and won't be interest in you…that way. Don't act like a little child. You have a game to play.

At which she'll be watching and cheering for you, another traitor office of my head informs me. For you, specifically. What do you suppose that means ?

I don't know.

And there's cypher I can ask.

I sigh and clamber out of bed. I've not even brushed my teeth yet, and I'm already confused. Great outset to the day.

An 60 minutes later we're at the stadium and Sally gives me a death glower from across the marquee. What did I ever do to her…yet ?

Susan is lecturing us about our strategy, as though we didn't have a meeting about this last night already. I've already decided to dismiss everything she's telling us. If she knew what she was talking about we wouldn't be on the verge of being dumped out of the damned tournament, would we ?

We win the toss and, not surprisingly, transmit them in to bat. And so it begins.

By the time I come in to bowl, we're already in trouble. Twenty overs in, they're 115 for 3 and Sally looks all set to rack up a C. She's at the non-striker's end but gives me another glower while I'm marking out my run-up. What, exactly, is haywire with this woman ? The fact that I'm a booster of Kazzie's ? So what ? It's not as though…

A sudden sentiment makes me pause. Is Sally mad at me because she wants Kazzie for herself ? Does she think Kazzie and I are together, I mean, as an point ? Can this even be possible ?

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my foreland. Don't think about irrelevant rubbish, I tell myself. You've got a plot to play. A game that, as it looks like, is already threatening to get out of our clutches.

So I focus on what has to be done, go to the top of my ( brief ) run up, and trundle in to bowl.

I'm a leg spinner. It isn't something I chose deliberately, just something I discovered I could do practiced than anything else I tried on the cricket bailiwick. I'm no Shauna Warne, but at least I can - usually - turn the ball a few stage, and I can - usually - pitch it roughly where I want it to.

Is that unspoiled enough ? It'll have to be.

Gloria is facing me, a fierce redhead who has already played for the area but got dropped and is desperate to claw her place back. The inaugural ball I send down, she blocks, but the arcsecond she deflects to mid-on for a single. And that leaves Sally facing me.

I've already had a watchword to Claire in the morning about sally all but certainly going to try to belt out me over the top first glob, and warned her to stay make for a mix up opportunity, but looking at her now, I doubt she even remembers any of that. Ah, perdition, I think, as I come in to bowl, if she misses, at least it won't be my fault, and may the * * * * * * * * * * * ors remember that.

Oh yes. quip steps out of the furrow as soon as the ballock leaves my paw, out to achieve it on the entire toss and pink it over the fence. Too clever by half, my heartfelt, I've pitched it myopic, and the ball breaks away from her questing bat, flashes past the wicket…and speeds by Claire's fumbling mitt, and rolls on to the third man edge for four byes.

Fuck, I think, bloody fucking shtup, as Kazzie would say.

As Jen is fetching the clod back from under the mass screen, I call on all my willpower to not say anything to Claire, looking away from her so as to control my humor. My eye go to the pavilion, where a dark-skinned figure in a red T shirt is standing at the balcony, her hand held to her mouth. I tell myself I can hear her cheering from all this way, and feel a little better.

affair don't get that often ameliorate. I do finally get rid of both Gloria and Sally, but not until they've added another 30 runs to their partnership. Then their side has a mini-collapse to Pashtana's left-arm lilt bowling ; we're lucky that this girl managed to get out of Afghanistan before the Taliban coup and semen here. And then I get to come on again and roll up the rear end with not too practically problem at all.

It's a plunge ask, but not undoable, as long as our batting doesn't collapse to the point that I have to bat, of trend. But for Claire's incompetency it would've been a lot easier.

When we go in for the lunch open frame, Kazzie hugs me."You were enceinte !"

I snort."That makes no difference if we lose."But every nerve synapse in my dead body is tingling at her jot."Are you trusted you want to expend the day here shouting at me ?"

"Do you doubt it, you nutter ?"She reaches up to pat my header."What would I rather do than cheer for my beneficial Friend ?"

Her easily friend ; the word smash me harder than I thought any could take. This incredibly beautiful, talented girl thinks I'm her best protagonist. My eyes fill with involuntary tears.

"petal ?"she asks."Are you OK ?"

"What ?"I blink, crying forgotten."What did you call me ?"

She bites her lip and looks away for a moment."That's how I think of you,"she replies eventually."You know, wintertime Plum Blossom, so, blossom, so, Petals. It's a natural progression. Or,"she glances at me quickly,"don't you like the nickname ?"

I realise I've been staring at her give mouthed."No, no,"I manage."I mean, I love it. I love that you thought enough of me to…"I bite my lip to stop lallation. My look is hot to the base of my hair."Please keep calling me that."

"That's ace."She lets out a breath."I wouldn't have wanted to call you Ding-Dong or something like."

"Oh, please, no."I shudder."Because I'm tall, some idiot back in school began calling me farseeing Dong. Stop laughing !"

"I'm…sorry…"she's still giggling."You should've seen your mug when you said that !"

I push her, she pushes me back, and we roughhouse for a minute of arc, until I can discontinue being afraid that her sobriquet for me wasn't making me go weak at the knees ( and wet between the thigh, but of form she doesn't know that and never will )."You're going off this eventide, aren't you ?"I ask eventually.

"Yeh, travelling for the semifinal."

"I'll come sunshine for you,"I say.

"No, you blinkin'well won't. You'll be getting set up for your own semifinal."

"That's only if we win today, you silly cow."

"Yeh well, you are going to, you loony backbite. Sue me if you don't, go ahead."

And, to my astonishment, we somehow did.



I'm not going to go into item about the respite of the tournament. Suffice it to say that we won our semifinal, Kazzie's team won theirs, and we faced off in the final…where, though Pashtana and I picked up four wicket door each, our own batten held up like a wet biscuit and her team wiped the sales pitch with us. Kazzie herself got rid of me with a spectacular diving haul. Oh, well.

So in the evening I'm packing to go home when my earpiece buzzes."You want an evening out with me, flower petal ?"Kazzie asks cheerfully."You'll want some solace for the whipping we gave you today."

"You floozy ! How did you know I was desperate for an evening with you ?"

"Um…it was kind of obvious. You can't resist my charms."( If only you knew, I think, if only you knew. )"Get the hell down to the bar room. Or should I issue forth up to your room ?"

My heart seems to stop in my chest of drawers as I think of us being together in buck private for the get-go time ever."I…"

"Petals ?"

For one wild instant I seriously contemplate inviting her here to this room, telling her exactly what I feel, of laying myself undecided to her. Then I think of how she'll inevitably shrink away with disgust, and that'll ruin the only if thing I economic value now, our friendly relationship."Just founder me a minute to shower down and change,"I say."Then I'll be down there. I'm one-half packed, my room's a mess."

"Don't want me to see your sex toy dog, do you then ?"Her laugh makes my affection spanner."Yeh, I'll wait for you. I'll order drinks for us in the meantime. Clearly you can't be trusted with ordering them."

"Hey, now, I got the beer the other day."

"I need something solid tonight, and so do you."

"Not celebrating with your teammate, are you ?"I ask when I'm sitting opposite her."Why not ?"

She shrugs with one berm."I wanted to celebrate with my teammate. After all I get along a lot better with you than I do with them."

I can't bear to meet her eyes for a minute when she says that. I pick up my drink and occupy an experimental sip. It's a bit too honeyed, but that's all right field, I'm not going to say anything to spoil the humor.

"You played well today,"I say."I'm sure the * * * * * * * * * * * ors will at least consider you now."Talking about cricket is safer than former thing at the mo. I can't trust my own reactions around her.

She raises an eyebrow."Just me ? What about you ?"

I'm confused."How do you intend ? We lost, and pretty badly, too."

"No, you plonker,"she laughs."They'd have to be blind to miss you, and that Pashtu girl, whatever she's called. We'd have finished off the match in 30 overs without the two of you."

I swallow the rest of my over-sweet drunkenness at one draft rather than risk showing my chemical reaction to her praise."Let's go for a walk,"I say on an impulse. It'll be well-off to hide my emotions in the dark.

"Sure thing,"she says, jumping to her feet."Let's go, Petals. I'd erotic love to be out and about with you."

We walk out of the hotel. It's a warm up night. Young yoke are strolling along the streets. I feel a barb in my heart just looking at them."Kazzie…"

She glances at me."Yeh ?"

"I…never mind."I feel like an half-wit. I am an cretin. I'm torturing myself by falling for this unachievable miss, when she's given me her friendship. I should, I have to, be satisfied with that.

"flower petal, you've been acting odd all evening."Kazzie takes my handwriting, and her touch sends a shock that thrills through me to my core."Is there something you want to say ?"

"Just…"Inspiration smash."I'm just thinking that tomorrow on we won't be seeing each other. I'll be back at my bedsitting room, and you…"

"I'll be in my monotone compensate across the metropolis from you."She squeezes my hand in hers. Her wicket keeper's finger are hard and warm."What are you disquieted about, you pillock ? All you have to do is hop on a bus to the Univ and get off one stopover before."

"You'll be studying. Boolean Algebra and all."

"Oh, sod all that. The Univ year's long and they do like their sports. Besides, I like your fount. I want to see it all the time."

"You must be blind as a mole, then, or fit for the loony bin. Who in her decently mind would like my aspect ?"

"Petals."All the raillery is suddenly gone from her voice."You do know you're gorgeous, right ?"

I laugh aloud at that."Now you're just making fun of me. My sister's the pretty one ; she doesn't even have the decency to be plain."

"No I'm not. Listen to me carefully : you're very, very, good looking, as well as sharp as a tack. Any sane boy would snap you up in a minute. I have no idea why none has."

My tongue freezes. Tell her, my brain screams at it, tell her now and get it over with, tell her what you are. You can't keep it secret forever. But my mouth and voice box scraps to get together. I make some kind of randomness, like a grunt.

"I suppose it's just a matter of time."Kazzie sigh. My paw is still in hers. Our sweat mingles."If only…"

I get my mouth to make for."What ?"

"Never mind, I was just thinking out loud."We're just passing a bench set into the pavement."Shall we sit here for a bit ?"



We perch on the bench and watch the street. If only my heart and brain weren't hammering at each other, if only my mitt wasn't desperately feeling the grain of hers so as to recall it, I would have thought it a thoroughgoing evening. Before us a huge yellow Sun Myung Moon knack in the sky, behind us lovers wander hired man in hand, kissing casually, and above our heads the superstar wheel on, proving that one day all my yearning will be as dust in the wind.

That's comforting, right ? However bad you think they are, your problems don't really matter in the scheme of matter. You don't matter.

"Petals ?"I hadn't realised Kazzie has been looking at me."You're crying."

"I'm sorry,"I sob."I'm ruining everything, aren't I ?"

"No, but you do need to tell me what's going on. You're not like this normally. Are you on the rag or something ?"

"No, it's not that."I swallow."All right,"I say,"I'll tell you. But not tonight, not when I'm thin like this."

"I'll wait."Her voice is sort and gentle, so unlike her usual luminosity hearted tone."Should we go back to the hotel, or would you rather that we sit here a piddling longer ?"

I rub at my eye."Let's just sit…"I stop as Kazzie's phone buzzes. She pulls it out of her pocket.

"I'm sorry,"she says,"I've to take the vociferation. It's Dad."

I nod."Don't mind me."

She smiles briefly as she lifts the mobile to her ear."Hi, Dad. Yeh, thanks…well, with any luck. I suppose it depends on what mood the * * * * * * * * * * * ors are in at any given instant. We'll just have to see…going home tomorrow. No, I'm not with the team. I'm out with Dongmei."She glances at me."Yeh, Dongmei Zhang…right, we're friends. Dad…"( Long pause )"She's brilliant and really, really well-off to get along with. You'd be surprised."( Another long intermission )"Dad. She's a friend, all right ?"Her voice takes on an exasperated tincture."Yeh, we can all get together sometime so you and Mum can lecture to her and see for yourself. right, I'll call you later. Bye."

She puts the phone back in her pocket and is quiet for a fiddling piece. Finally, I break the silence.

"Does your father…not want us to be protagonist ? Doesn't he call back you can't be friends with soul on another team ?"( Or with a Chinese, my pudding head brain asks. )

She shakes her head and turns to me."Sorry, I was thinking about things. No, it's null like that. Dad…well, let's not go into that right field now. I'll just say he didn't think I could make…friends."She shakes her school principal again and gets up."Are you feeling better, Petals ? Should we get back to the hotel now ?"

I'm totally at sea, but nod and get to my understructure as well."Yes. I still have my packing to finish."

She hugs me goodnight at the heave. I have to restrain myself from clinging to her as though my aliveness depends on not letting go.



I reach home by mid-morning. I didn't get to meet Kazzie before leaving, so we just sent WhatsApp substance to each other. I spend a dyad of hours vigorously cleaning everything, getting rid of dust and all that. To be really honest, there isn't that a good deal rubble. I just demand to do hard physical work to not call up of Kazzie.

It doesn't work, so when I'm done, I sit down at my calculator table and get started on all the cumulate projects and new direction that had piled up while I was out gallivanting playing cricket. That works for all of 15 bit until my phone beeps.

"Got base safe, then ?"she asks.

"well, I'm about to set forth making a website for a gym, so obviously I'm at home,"I type back.

"A gym website ? Sounds boring. Maybe you can sleep with it up a bit. Add some pictures of naked woman using the equipment."

I burst out laughing."The steroid hormone nut are too very much in love with themselves to treasure that kind of thing,"I type back."Are you nice and comfortable ?"

"As much as I can be when you aren't around, you harlot."She adds a superfluous smiley."You doing anything on Sunday ?"

I glance at the calendar on my desk."No, I don't think so. Why ?"

"good, so you and I are going out together. Don't bother coming up with excuse why you can't."

I grin and select a selfie to beam her."I wasn't going to, you hussy. Where are we going ?"

"harbor't made up my mind yet. I just want to spend the day with you."

"That sounds nice."I hesitate a moment."I'll pack a snap lunch, just in case."

"Only if it's Chinese food."

"Of course."

"Cooked by you."

"Naturally."

When I put the phone down my cheeks are hurting with smiling.



"You're quite a cook,"Kazzie says, wiping her mouth.

I snort."Not if you hear my mum's public opinion on that. She claims my preparation is only fit to feed pigs."I look around the Park. small fry run by, shouting to each other."Maybe you're really a pig pretending to be a woman."

"I will be, if you keep making food like this."She stretches."I love sitting like this. Not going to a picture or a museum or concert or a guided term of enlistment. Just sitting here with my unspoiled Quaker in the world."

Her words hit me again and make me seem away quickly so she won't see the raw emotion in my eyes. A lagger bombination towards us."Look at that."

We both watch the drone. It dips, rises, goes straight towards a tree diagram, then at the stopping point moment careen to one face, bent in the air for a few mad irregular on thrashing propellor, and then thumps on the grass next to us.

"I thought it would hit the tree for sure,"Kazzie says.

I gesture towards a small radical of teens running in our way."Here comes the search and recovery party."

Kazzie waves buckram armed at them."It's here !"she shouts.

The stripling come up, panting. There are four of them, a boy and three young lady, all aged about fourteen or fifteen."Sorry about that,"the boy pant. He's holding a controller in one helping hand."I'm not used to it yet."

"You told us you were an expert, Bill,"one of the girls says, rolling her heart."An expert in making up tales, More like."

Bill, the boy, hands the controller to one of the other little girl, picks up the drone, and inspects it anxiously. Apparently it passes draft. He rubs his forearm across his brow and glances at us."It's my older brother's lagger. He'd kill me if I'd lost or damaged it."

"best you give it back to him then,"the first girl says.

"Yes, well, maybe I should exercise a bit more…or,"bank bill looks at her and back at the drone."Maybe you're right."

"She's right, bank bill,"the girlfriend with the restrainer says,"and you know it, you berk."

"I'm always right,"the kickoff girl announces.

I grow cognisant that the third fille has hardly been paying care to them, and instead has been staring at us with a pose expression on her fount. Suddenly her mouth falls open."You…you're Karizma, Karizma Dwight Filley Davis, aren't you ? The cricketer ?"

Kazzie looks taken aback."Uh…yes. You know me ?"

"Oh my god,"the girl riot, so loudly that Bill drops the drone again and only rescues it with a frantic snatch."You're my heroine ! I play cricket in schoolhouse and I want to be just like you !"

All of them are staring at Kazzie now. She swallows, and rises to the juncture."Well, that's good to know. You keep hoop too ?"

The little girl is still gabbling. She probably hasn't even heard the query."I watched the last the other day and cheered for you all the time. Especially the way you caught that last-place one out, it was so superb ! Oh my god ! The way she stood looking as though she couldn't believe that you'd caught her like that !"

I can't control my amusement any longer and abound out laughing."You're right,"I say."I still can't believe it !"

The missy stops mid-sentence and turns slowly to me. Her heart bump."You…you're her."

Kazzie chortle."Oh yes, she's the one, all right."

"Carrie,"the girl holding the restrainer says,"sit down before you pass out."

I think it's practiced advice. Carrie's gone pale and her mouthpiece's working but no words come out. I get to my ft and put my blazonry around her shoulder joint."ejaculate, sit."

They all sit, the other three keeping a cautious distance from Carrie as though she's an unpredictable wild animal. The first gear girl looks apologetically at us."She gets a piddling lancinate sometimes."

"So I see."Kazzie gives Carrie a little hug."Are you all right, love ?"

"I…"Carrie begins crying and wipes her optic frantically."I'm, I'm sorry, it's just, meeting you both, I can't…"

"It's fine,"I tell her. For an instant I'm aware of how we must look from a space, like parents comforting a distraught daughter."stop your intimation. You'll be fine."

"I can't believe it,"Carrie says again."Just meeting you, both of you, out in the ballpark, just like pattern citizenry, it's…"

"But we are rule people,"Kazzie says gently."We go to the park, too, we have classes or jobs, too, and we make friends as well."

Carrie doesn't seem to really believe that, but at last calms down a slight."I'm sorry,"she says."You must both cerebrate me an dreadful wally."

"nonentity thinks that, Carrie,"Controller fille says. They're all looking a lot more comfy now that the crisis has clearly passed."We all know it already !"

All of them jest, even Carrie."But, seriously, no, we don't think anything like that,"Kazzie says."Though I must say it's something new for me to come across an literal, you know…"

"Fan ?"I supply. Kazzie nods."That goes for me too,"I say."I never actually met anyone who even heard of me other than my teammates."

"And me."Kazzie takes my hand. I notice that all four of the tiddler placard that and low Girl and control Girl exchange coup d'oeil."But you can be surely that everyone's going to learn of her soon, when she's bowling out India."

I snort."Make a bill of this, Carrie,"I say."This woman here will be keeping wickets at the World Cup while I'll be sitting at dwelling watching her on the telly."

"No you won't, you prat. You'll be doing the bowling I'll be keeping to."

The adolescent begin to get to their metrical foot. vizor has gone bright red."Uh…we should be going."

I have a sudden impulse, one of those I sometimes get and almost always immediately regret."Carrie ?"

She looks at me, blushing as well. What's wrong with these kids ?"Yes ?"

"Your shoal team. Where do you practice ? We could stage it so I could come and consecrate you some coaching sometime."

"We both will,"Kazzie says. I'm unspeakably grateful for her immediate answer."Talk to your teammates and your teachers and let us know. Do you bear a wandering phone ? Good. Here's my number."

We wait until the four have gone before let out the bubble of laughter I've been holding in."Never could I have expected such drama in the park on a William Ashley Sunday !"

I see Kazzie regarding me with a faint smile on her fount."flower petal,"she says,"you are the most extraordinary human being I have ever come across."

"What did I do now ?"

"The way you offered that female child coaching…it's exactly what she needed to hear."

"You'd have done the same. You did do the same."

"But only after you thought of it first."She sighs."I suppose it's clip we start getting prepare to leave."

I don't want to be away from her."Can…you come to my place ? It's not far. We can walk."

"As long as your fame doesn't get us mobbed by John Hancock hunters."

I snort at that."The sole celebrity is yours. Come on, let's go."

"Sorry about the pot,"I tell her shortly afterwards, as I usher her in through the doorway."It's, um, rather small and so…"

"petal !"she exclaims."stop consonant apologising. It's completely fine."With a suspire she throws herself down on her back on my bed."Now I can spend fourth dimension digesting all that food you shovelled down my gob."

"I shovelled it, did I ?"I spin around the hot seat at my computer desk and sit astride it with my elbow on the back, bridge player propping up my Kuki-Chin, watching her."Is that what I did ?"

"Might as well birth,"she yawns."It's your fault for cooking so well. I…"she yawns again."Where did that seed from ? I'm so sleepy."

"My mother says it's rude after a meal."

"Tell me about your parents,"she says."How they came here, how they met, and that."

"I don't really fuck all that much. My mum was a student and chose to stay back here because China wasn't that economically developed in those days. Dad came from Hong Kong because…"A soft stertor point me. She's asleep.

I sit there for the next hour, watching her, thinking how it's the very first time we've been together in private, and how her sleeping has kept me from making a fool of myself. I watch her dormancy, adore her, and assure myself that I can manage my emotions if we can stay like this, if I can venture to her that all I have for her is friendship and nothing else.

By the time she wakes I've half convinced myself of it.

The rest of the afternoon goes fine. I lie and tell her I've been working while she's slept. I brew green tea for us, which she makes a case at - that's a deep brown young woman, I should have known - and we watch a few videos of the Amerindic woman's team playing, just in type. When she finally leaves I walk her to the bus plosive consonant, and fantasise that I'm kissing her before she boards, but it's just a quickly hug, and then she's gone.

That Nox, I lie in bed, in the very spot she's occupied, with the faint smell of her perfume still on the flat solid, and I stop pretending to myself that I can manage this. My hands sneak of their own accordance between my thigh, and I stroke and rub myself till I come to a shuddering coming, my eyes leaking tears as I whisper her name.



The following week settles into a routine. I jog every morning, as usual, with phone on playing one or other symphony orchestra - soothing medicine - and then go straight to the gym, changing to pounding voiceless rock as a more appropriate soundtrack as I sweat it out on the machines. The gym is just round the recession from my bedsit. After coming menage and showering, I call Kazzie for a few minutes while I vacuum. Then it's time for breakfast and thence to my computer, earning my food and rent.

On Tuesday Kazzie messages to order me that Carrie, the missy in the park, called her and said could we please go over to her schooltime on Wed good afternoon. So we do.

Her school team is already there, waiting at the entree, when we arrive, talking excitedly to each other. They surround us like a flock of starlings, and the enquiry hit our auricle like hail.

"See, I told you I knew them !"Carrie shout excitedly over the babble.

We're already having autograph al-Qur'an, scraps of paper, pens and pencils thrust at us when a couple of teachers turn up and do to give some social club. We go over to their school ground, where there's a cricket pitch of kind, and I demonstrate bowling leg breaks while Kazzie fields them. It feels good, better than I could ever have thought it might, and I'm genuinely deplorable when it's fourth dimension to leave.

"Will you come future week, young woman Zhang ?"Carrie seems to own transferred some of her worship of Kazzie to me."I want to try batting to you !"

Kazzie and I exchange glances."Well, the team for Republic of India's visit is going to be announced succeeding Monday, so if either of us is * * * * * * * * * * * ed she mightn't be able-bodied to…"Carrie's face declination."…but,"I add quickly,"…she'll be back once the serial publication is over. Assuming one of us is * * * * * * * * * * * ed, of course. The other one will sustain coaching job you in the meantime."

"Of course you'll be * * * * * * * * * * * ed. Both of you."Carrie looks from Kazzie to me and back."I mean, I can't imagine you apart from each other."As though she's said something inappropriate, she claps her hand over her oral cavity and bloom like a tomato.

Again, what on ground is the matter with these kidskin ?

As we're walk to the bus stop to go our severalize ways, Kazzie and I discuss the team * * * * * * * * * * * ion."Let's be together when it's announced on Monday eve,"she suggests."Then we can celebrate if one of us is chosen, or comfort each other."

"That's a right good estimate,"I agree.

"So, your billet or mine ?"

"Yours,"I say immediately. I haven't yet seen her flavorless, and I don't think I can manage to keep myself under controller if I have her back in my little bedsit where I masturbate every nighttime to persuasion of her."I want to consume space for the excited cheering I'll be doing when I see your public figure on the list, don't I ?"

"Ha ha. I'll be keeping throat lozenges set for myself."She raises herself on her toes and plants a flock on my brass as her bus arrives."See you soon, you pross."

The touch sensation of her lips is like ardor. I'm impressed with myself for maintaining control."Get home safe and let me know when you get there, you tart."

The bus takes her away from me, leaving my heart tactile sensation as though it's been scooped out with a spoon.



Monday crawls around at in conclusion and I'd be lying if I say I'm not burning inside with stress. The mutation Thomas Nelson Page are full of surmise about the team * * * * * * * * * * * ion, and none of them seems to call up Kazzie has much of a chance. Even Claire - incompetent, fumbling Claire - gets more mentions than she does. I, of course, hardly get any mention at all, but I wasn't really expecting any.

At three in the afternoon I board a bus for the University and get off one stop early, as I'd been told to. I've already seen Kazzie waiting at the bus stop through the windowpane. She rushes at me enthusiastically as soon as I'm off and squeeze me so tightly that the air rushes from my lungs in a squeak.

"You mouse,"she says, when she releases me."Come on, my flat isn't far away."

"You don't live in the students'residence hall."I say."I was wondering why not."

Kazzie shrugs."I told you I don't make Quaker easily. And what with travelling for cricket this is much better."She leads me up a side street to a edifice not different to the one where I live."It's only a one-bedroom compressed, but at least I'm on the top floor."

We go up in the lift. As Kazzie's unlocking her door, I take off my sandals.

"Why are you doing that ?"she wants to know.

I shrug."It's my parents'programming. It's disrespectful to wear your horseshoe indoors in individual else's home. Besides, it keeps the storey clean."

"You could've told me that when I visited you. I wouldn't have minded."She glances at me curiously and err off her own brake shoe."You do actually love your parents with your eye and mortal, don't you ? Even though you don't live the way they want you to."

I sigh."It's…complicated. I want to make them happy, but not at the toll of my own happiness. Somehow there seems to be no middle ground. I wish there were, but there isn't, so I have to square up for making me glad to whatever extent I can. come that go selfish of me ?"

"No, you pillock, that just shows that you're a thinking human being being."Kazzie throws an arm around my neck, unconscious mind of the thrill that flares through my trunk at her touching."Come on, let's go sit down for a bit."

Apart from the sleeping room and lavatory, her flavorless is open plan, so it seems a lot prominent than it actually is. She's got potted flora under the Windows and batik hangings on the paries. I examine them curiously.

"These are really very good. Where did you get them ?"

She says nothing, so I turn to repeat the interrogation, and the result comes to me."Kazzie ! You made these yourself, didn't you ?"

She bites her lip, clearly embarrassed."Yeh. When I was in school, I had a lot of stress I needed to act off, and cricket wasn't enough. This helped."

I want to hug her, but I'm worried I won't be able to keep it within friendly bounds."Stress ? About studies ? But you're clearly fantabulous at studies."

"well, stress. Doesn't matter now about what exactly. It was just a bit much."For some reason she's avoiding my eyes."So I taught myself batik and it helped to calm me down when I wanted to do nothing more than lie belt down and cry, you know ?"

I swallow hard."I can't say I don't know."I sit down beside her."Look…if you want to recount me anything, you can. I can't modification anything, maybe, but at least I can listen. What are friends for ?"

For a moment I think she's going to disburden herself of whatever's bothering her, but then her centre go to the clock on the rampart."It's almost time for them to herald the team,"she says, jumping to her infantry."I'll get the booze so we're ready for whatever happens."

"Right."I want to enjoin her how I wish I could believe in some kind of god so that I could take prayed for her * * * * * * * * * * * ion. I want to tell her that I'm terrified that when she's a celebrated international cricket star she'll bury me. I want to state her how just the auditory sensation of her part sends chills down my body from the nape of my neck to the tips of my toes. But all I can do is just say,"amercement, right."

She fetches glassful and feeding bottle from a cabinet under the swallow hole."So, you want to heed to the announcement on the boob tube or arrest it online ?"

I think for a second."Online. I'd like to read the names one by one so I can cook myself."

"commodity idea."She sighs and settee next to me on her lounge, drawing up her legs so that she leans against me."I like having you here, Petals. Do you recognize something ?"

"Hmm ?"The flavor of her against my arm, the fragrance of her in my nose, realize it gruelling for me to concentrate.

"You're the showtime someone I've had in here since I moved in."

"Pull the other one. That can't be."

"And why not ?"

I turn to look at her in astonishment."Why not ? Because you're beautiful, and talented, and desirable, that's why not."

She laughs."Well, that's a new one on me. But I'm not joking. You're the outset individual, male or female, who's ever visited me here since I moved in."

I'm still astonished."What about boyfriends, then ? Don't secern me you don't have one ?"

She sighs and picks up her phone."Let's balk if they've put the names up online yet."

They haven't, or the sports media haven't updated their web site, until Kazzie refreshes her browser several times. Then we see the newspaper headline :

SEVERAL UNEXPECTED NEW FACES IN fair sex'S CRICKET TEAM VERSUS INDIA

We exchange glance. My kernel is thudding and my sassing dry."well, go on then,"I say."Let's see what they came up with."

By mutual unvoiced agreement, we scroll quickly past the initial text edition to the team names.

"Captain : Holly Newhart. Well, that's not exactly a surprise."She's been captaining the team for the last year and lost almost all the match, but the * * * * * * * * * * * ors seem to possess a soft spot for her.

"Vice-Captain : Dorothy Chadwick,"Kazzie answer. fountainhead, that's mildly surprise, if only because she's never captained anything, not even a club team, as far as I know. Still, she's at least a competent opening batswoman."bit Three…oh my god, Sally Richardson."

I actually, literally, slap my frontal bone."Please evidence me this is a joke."

But, no, it isn't. I sigh. well, at least she's not the bloody sea captain."Gloria McGrath. Oh, she got * * * * * * * * * * * ed again, did she ? Good for her."

I nod in agreement. Gloria, the fire Aythya americana, is someone who I actually have a lot of respect for. She's one of the sure-enough ones, in her thirties, and I'm genuinely happy at her comeback.

The following few gens are people we have no finicky opinion about, and then…

"Pashtana Stanikzai."I squeal and hug Kazzie hard."Aaaaah ! She really deserves it !"I can barely control myself for upheaval."Her whole fellowship needed this !"

She smiles at me."You're such a full somebody, Petals. Let's see the…"her oral cavity falls open and she gasps. I twist the screen so I can see what she's looking at.

10. Karizma Davys ( wicket gate steward )

I scream so loudly that I almost deafen myself. I crush her to my side."KAZZIE ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !"

We hug as hard as we can. She's shaking and gasping."Let's see the rest…"

Julia Langdon. Zoe metalworker. Jennifer Gaffney.

Jen. I flinch. At to the lowest degree she's just than Claire, not just as a participant but as a man being. baker's dozen names down, one to go. I wonder who it will be. Susan, maybe ? I take a deep breath and rub my pollex up the screen.

For a tenacious minute my mentality literally blacks out, and I have to read what's on the screen multiple times.

14. Dongmei Zhang

I can't believe it, I can't even begin to serve it. I stare at the CRT screen, dumbfounded.

A shriek in my ear breaks me out of my catatonic trance."PETALS ! ! ! ! !"

I'm trembling, shaking, tears running down my grimace, barely being able to cross-file Kazzie hugging me. The buzzing of her mobile phone interrupts us as we hang against each other, hugging and crying.

She takes the call and even without the loudspeaker system I can get a line the enraptured screaming.

"Yeh,"Kazzie says, after a piece, when her caller finally runs out of breath."I know. We both know. Yeh, she's here with me, you don't need to yell her separately. Yeh, maybe calm down a bit ? Listen, can I call you back a bit later ? Maybe tonight, or in the morning ?"She smiles at me and puts her hand over her telephone."It's Carrie."

"Of course,"I reply, wiping my eye."I understood that already from the screeching."

Kazzie's just about managed to get Carrie calm enough to ring off when her earpiece buzzes again."Dad. Yes, we saw already…thanks, Dad… right, we means Dongmei and I…yes, she's here with me. Oh, Mum's there ? Did you both sit waiting for the team announcement ?"She laughs, and my heart twists with happiness for her. For us."You want to talk to her ? All right."She puts her mobile on loudspeaker and holds it out to me."My dad wants to babble to you. Here."

"howdy, is that Dongmei ?"A intimate voice, one I've heard many meter on sports programmes on the telly without ever connecting it with Kazzie."I wanted to congratulate you."

"I…thank you, sir."I gulp."I still can't really believe it."

"Oh, believe it. I've seen you bowl, you know. Besides there's literally no early skilful female leg spinner in the country right now and…"he pauses."Wait. Karizma's female parent wants a word with you."

The voice on the early end could have been Kazzie's own."Dongmei ! Or may I call you Petals ?"

"You know what Kaz…I mean, Karizma…calls me, ma'am ?"

"Oh, of course I know. She doesn't full stop talking for one present moment about you, does she ?"

"She talks about me ?"I look at Kazzie, astonished. She bites her lip and shrugs.

"Of course she does. It's always Petals this, Petals that, Petals and I did this today, mum, I can't even tell you how much I adore Petals."I can feel my mouth hanging open as I listen to her."The miserable girl is head over hound in beloved with you. I can't time lag to play you."

I'm staring at Kazzie, astounded, as her mum goes nattering on. It's she who finally takes the sound from my hand."Mum,"she says,"I think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself, mum. Can we spill the beans a bit later ? I think petal has blown a fuse in her brain."

She puts the phone down on the board as gingerly as though it were a bomb."I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I find my vocalization finally."Whatever for ?"

"That you had to find out like that. That I love you."

There are moment when the world shifts on its axis. It's hard to set."You…love me ?"

"I'm sorry !"She's sobbing."I didn't mean to ! It just happened ! I can't help it !"

"Wait…"I'm still processing this."You mean you…like girlfriend ?"

She nods, wordlessly, still crying.

I shake my head to try and clear it."Kazzie…"I pull her closing to me. She's shuddering."Kazzie. Listen…I love you. I've loved you from the beginning. From that first even you told me sorrows can swim."

She starts, looking at me unbelievingly."You what ?"

"I've been through inferno trying to keep my flavour from you."I look down at her. Suddenly so many matter make sensory faculty. How could I have been so blind ?"Kazzie…"

I don't get to say another word. Kazzie crushes me in her arms and her sass are pressed to mine. She pushes me back on the sofa, kissing me desperately over and over again.

Her paw's on the rear of my principal, holding it up, her boob crushed against mine, her tears falling on my face like pelting just like her kiss on my mouth. I'm gasping for breath when she finally pulls away a little.

"Kazzie,"I manage."Kazzie, darling…"

"I'm such an idiot,"she moans."I was so panic-struck of losing you if I said what I felt."

I make a choking randomness."You weren't the simply one."Something occurs to me."Oh. Now I understand."

She plant life another kiss on my mouth and lean her head."What ?"

"Carrie and the other fry. Why they began getting so embarrassed when you took my manus and we were joking at each other."I felt myself blushing."They must have seen it. Everyone must make seen it except for the two of us !"

She laughs a niggling at that."We're both taunt. We're totally suited to each other."

I wrap my arms around her and for the first sentence, I kiss her, instead of letting myself be kissed. She opens her mouth, inviting my tongue in. The electric shock from the jot of her lingua tip on mine kick through me all the way to my vagina. I feel my entire pelvis pulsing with want for her.

Kazzie feels it too. She takes my hand and pulls me up. I'm astonished at her strength."seed to the bedroom. I've waited far too farsighted. I need you, flower petal. I need you."

Meekly, standing by her bedside, I permit her to uncase me. I'm not wearing a lot anyway ; a white blouse and tan dame over Edward Douglas White Jr. bra and knickers. Her fingers bollix as she tries to unhook my bra and I move to avail, but she shakes her head."No, let me do it. I want to undo you like a gift. You're my gift."

"Yours,"I breathe, as she finally gets my bra off and my bosom come free."Yours,"I sigh again as my dame falls to the floor around my bare pes. And my breathing spell catches in my throat and I can't say a word when she pushes her hands under my knickerbockers from behind and cup my underside.

"I've dreamt of this for so long…"She moves her script to the waistband of my knickers and pulls them down, over my thigh and down to my mortise joint."Petals…"

I wrap my weapon around her as she stands back up. She's still fully clothed, I'm totally nude, and I want to undress her, but everything that's been happening suddenly catches up with me and I begin to tremble. I hold on to her for heartfelt life.

"Petals, darling ?"Her center are wide with business organisation."What's incorrect ?"

I shake my head."cypher. Nothing. It's just…this is the first ... the first time I've…"

"You've never been with a girl before ?"

"I've never been with anyone before,"I confess."I've never even been kissed before."

"Oh my god…I'm so blue. I've been rushing things. I swear, if I'd known…"She reaches for my clothes."Let me aid you get dressed again."

"No !"I protest."That's not it. I want to ! I want to make know to you. I just…I just never expected this would ever really happen…and I don't know how to."My voice rises in a plaint at the unfairness of it all."I don't hump how to relieve oneself love to you !"

"Oh, love."She pulls me to her and snog me all over my face as far as she can reach on tiptoe."Don't worry. I'll show you. I'll teach you everything about it, just unlax now and let me concern you."

Numbly, I allow her to push me down so I'm sitting on her bed, and watch as she strips. Her consistence is like a sculpture in ebony woods. Her breasts are similitude peaks of bootleg marble, her belly a lava plain ridged with muscle, the V between the twin tower of her thigh covered with forgetful trimmed coil. She looks like a goddess from the nascency of our species in the savanna of Africa. I want to worship her.

"Kazzie ?"I whisper, or maybe I imagine I whisper. I'm no longer sure of what my body's doing."Are you really that beautiful ? I'm not dreaming, right ?"

"You aren't, you prat."Her spokesperson pulls me back a little. She grins that heart-twisting smile."And look who's accusing me of being beautiful ! You're alcoholic as a fiddle, my love."

Standing between my parted legs, she pulls me in for a hug. My face is pressed against her breasts. Instinctively I kiss the nearest one. She gasps."Do that again."

I kiss her breast again. She shifts slightly so that her tit comes within reach of my back talk. My depart mouth enfold it. I nibble lightly at it and dig into it with my tongue.

Her arms tighten around my head and I feel her integral consistency saccade."Oh, Petals."

The feeling that I'm giving her pleasance is like a jolt of electricity. I lick and suck on that pap, trying to gauge what I'm doing by the slackening and tightening pressure of her arms holding my top dog to her chest. All of a sudden she clamps her implements of war tight, crushing me to her, and battle cry out.

"Oh,"she rustle, when her arms slacken enough to let me breathe again."Do you get laid what you did just now ? You made me come."

"I did ?"I ask, stupidly.

She takes a inscrutable breath and chuckles softly."Yeh, you did. I don't think you need to sustain any vexation about how you're going to shag me ! Now just lie back, darling, and let me enjoy you."

I have no conscious tactile sensation of ordering my consistency to obey, but a minute later I'm on my book binding, my legs apart, and Kazzie is lying on me, her face above mine, our breasts pressed together, and the hot wet throbbing inwardness of her sex pressed against mine. Her breath pennant in and out of my anterior naris. I reach up, blindly, like a sister birdie waiting to be fed, questing for her lips with mine.

"Petals…love…"her rustle is hot against my lips. She begins rotating her articulatio coxae, her vulva slipping and sliding over mine, her short curly pubic hair rubbing on my clit, sending saccade of pleasure through my body. I gasp and instinctively begin trying to thrust up against her.

"Not now, love. Just lie still and let me do everything, yeh ?"

At this decimal point I don't even know what I'm doing any longer. The sensations of her mouth rubbing on mine, her white meat rotating against mine, her teat rubbing on mine, her vulva and clit rubbing on mine, all merge together into a single enormous sensorial complex that overwhelms my brain. I can only writhe and heave as she strokes and wipe and candy kiss me until my nerve closing reach out and grab hold of the most intense sexual climax I've ever had in my life. It blazes from my vagina to the furthest reach of my consistence. I come, bucking, moaning, and crying out inarticulate Book that make no common sense to me.

The storm temporarily past, we lie together, her eyes tenderly gazing into mine."Petals…"

"Yes…"I whisper in return.

"I love you more than anything that I can imagine."She scratch her toes down my shin. I sigh.

"Oh, Kazzie, if you even knew how many times I've dreamt of being with you like this ..."I shake my head."I'm an retard. I should've known you're lesbian when I heard you talking on the headphone that evening when we walked together from the hotel. Your dad was asking if we were an item, wasn't he ?"

She chuckles softly."Yeh. I came out to my parents years ago. It wasn't easy, but I was right gobsmacked when they just accepted it. It wasn't as though I accepted it half as easy."

I trace my finger down her side and up the curve of her hip as one more bit of the mystifier falls into spot."The batik…"I whisper."It was a coping mechanics, wasn't it ?"

She sighs."You're right wing. I was bloody muddled about my own sexuality back in school. Couldn't rightly understand why gent didn't interest me at all but lasses did. So I tried to take my judgment off it with batik. It didn't employment, but…"she giggles,"…it did teach me batik."

"volition you instruct me ? How to do batik, I mean ?"

Kazzie looks at me with a kind of wonder in her center."petal ?"

"What ?"

"Each moment you show me more of what a precious stone you are. You really want to get a line it, just for me ?"

"I want to do batik with you, you moron."I twist my legs around hers."And someday, when we're famous, our batik will advert on the pavilion rampart of every cricket stadium in the land."

She kisses me deeply as though she never wants our lips to region. I kiss her back, desperately, ineffective yet to fully win over myself that she's genuine and not just contribution of a cruel dream. My hand wander over her body, and find oneself the sheep pen of her labia. She purrs."Yes, rub it. Now put your finger's breadth in."

She's hot, wet, and clenches around my finger and begins to slowly thrust her pelvic girdle against my hand so I go inside her all the way at each thrust. And a short after that, I find myself rolling on her, and then rubbing myself against her thigh while she twitches and gasps, ending in a crescendo of moaning passion as we both come like rollers breaking on bumpy shores.

Later, when our heart rates have dropped to something like rule, we wander, still naked, back to her keep room. My sound, lying on her table, shows a embarrassment of messages and one missed call. I pick it up curiously."Well, this is unexpected."

My darling raises an supercilium."Who is it ?"

I raise the earpiece to picture her."My sister, the stark one. I wonder what she wants."

"Biyu, right ?"She cocks her head in that terrier motion."Well, call and ask her."

"Can't I put it off ?"I whine.

"No. Call her."

"My girlfriend for…"I glance at the clock."Two hours and you're already ordering me around ?"I sigh."All right, here goes."

Biyu picks up on the second ringing."Hi, Meimei. Saw you got * * * * * * * * * * * ed."She's speechmaking English people, which she always does with me, since I'm much more prosperous in it than in Yue."Celebrating, I suppose, which is why you didn't take my call ?"

"You could say that,"I reply cautiously. Biyu is individual I'm always careful around. She can take one inadvertently spoken word and run with it until you're in a shoes you never wanted to be.

"Great ! What's her name ?"

"What ? Whose name ? What are you going on about ?"

She laughs."Come off it, Meimei, I know you're lez. Everyone always knew you're lez, except you."She pauses."And Mā, of course."



"Never you mind what her name is, if she even exists."I'm blushing, probably as red as Carrie."How is Mā ?"

"Neat deflection. Is she there with you now ?"My uncomfortable silence tells her all she needs to screw."Oh, I see. That's why you didn't conduct my Call earlier. Say hi to her from me."

"Uh…"I look at Kazzie."My babe says hi to you."

"Hello, Biyu,"Kazzie response, loudly."I love your sister."

"And your sis loves her,"I add into the telephone set, suddenly set free by her words.

There's a brief pause."Glad you figured yourself out at last,"Biyu says."I was wondering if it would ever happen. As for Mā…I told her you made the squad, and she grunted."She pauses again."Meimei, she misses you. They both do."

"I know,"I sigh."But what can we do about it ?"

"come and see us sometime when you're unblock ? I know you'll be all engaged with cricket now, but once the series is over ?"

"All right,"I agree, softly."But this will only be a sojourn, fine ? I'm not going to move back in or anything."

"We're not expecting you to. But it would be nice to see you sometime. wellspring, so, congrats on making the team. Is your girl on the squad too ?"

"…What makes you ask that ?"

"She is !"Biyu squeals with pure joy."I wonder which one it is. No, don't assure me, let me guess."

"hold your hypothesis to yourself, then,"I snort."It's not as though you'll surmisal right, anyway."

"Wait…"there's a long suspension."One minute."

"What on earth are you up to ?"

"Just checking the team photos and bios. Ah."

"Ah what ?"

"I'll bet it's the wicket keeper. I'm right, aren't I ?"

I say nothing.

"I'm right,"she crows."Don't ooze it up, Meimei. She's far too good for you."

"I know,"I whisper."Tell me something I don't already know."

"You'll need to recite Mā sometime, you know."

I sigh."I will…when the time's right. Thanks, Biyu."

"fountainhead, that wasn't so bad, was it ?"Kazzie looks at me triumphantly."You should listen to me every time."

"Oh, ha ha,"I say."You aren't going to have to put up with her tease whenever she calls."

"I'll vamper you too if you want."She kisses me."What did she call you ? It sounded like Meimei ?"

"Yes. It means younger Sister. She started calling me that when we were both children, and then my parents began calling me that as well."

"It goes with your epithet, too."She hugs me, one armed."You're going to stay over tonight, of course."

"Am I ?"

"You are."She gets to her foot and holds out her paw for me to take."Let's get dressed and go out to dinner. My treat."



That is the finally time we get to have some time to unbend. The following day onwards we're in a frenzy of action. I have to finish pending undertaking before we leave for the pre-series breeding camp and practice. Kazzie puts in work towards her thesis and also arranges for sentence off from classes from the Univ.

On Wed afternoon we go over to Carrie's school, Sir Thomas More to collapse ourselves a break than to teach anyone anything. Half the school seems to be waiting for us. Carrie drags us to the field of operations and insists on my bowling to her while Kazzie keeps wickets.

She isn't bad. Of course of action the sales talk is far from competition level, and the ball is old and scuffed and slightly lumpy on one side, so that the bounce is uneven and unpredictable, but even with all that she's promising. She knows how to find out my wrist legal action and anticipate the form of delivery I'll be sending down the pitch, and that's the most important thing. The rest is just practice, unless you're someone like me, who'll never learn to bat no matter how much you practice.

"You're good,"I say eventually."You're much just than I anticipated, honestly."

Kazzie nods."She's right. You can go all the way to the top with some hard work."

Carrie blushes bright red and stammer something that's probably thanks.

Of course of instruction after that we have to bowl and keep to the lot of them, but it's also valuable drill for Kazzie and me. We've never played on the like side. She's never kept wickets to me, even in the nets. We don't have the synergy a wicket custodian and spinner should develop, where the former already knows where the musket ball's going to go before the latter's finished releasing it. We have to develop that synergism before the serial begins, and the more I bowl to her the better.

We're all flushed with exertion and the sun is sinking below the skyline when we're done. Carrie's parents have arrived to foot her up, and she shyly introduces us. As we turn to leave, she suddenly runs after us."young woman Davis ? Miss Zhang ?"

We turn, surprised."What is it, Carrie ?"

She begins to say something, decides against it, then visibly argues with herself and says it anyway."Can I…when you two marry each other…could I be your bridesmaid ?"

Kazzie and I glance at each early and both bite down smile. This girl is perfectly serious."Yeh,"Kazzie says."That'll be a slew idea."

"Of course you will,"I add."If we get married. It'll be a while before we're at that tip, though."

"You will,"Carrie says, solemnly."I said you'd be in the team too, and I'm saying you will. Remember what I said."Then she turns round and runs back to her parents.

"I suppose our fate is sealed, then,"I say.

Kazzie laughs."If your sister knew, you'd never hear the end of it."



Saturday night is when it all falls apart.

Tomorrow morning we're supposed to leave for the training cantonment. We're in my bedsit, eating a dish antenna I scraped together from shrimp, noodles, shredded sugar, stinker juice, chopped chili, and bleak salinity. Kazzie professes that it's delicious.

I scoff."My mother would hollo it an loathing. And she'd condemn you for praising it."

She swallows the last of the material."Well, I'll just have to tell her that it's corking because you cooked it. Petals ?"

I pause in the eye of gathering up the lulu to withdraw to the swallow hole."Hmm ?"

"Isn't it meter you told your mum about us ? Once we get to the camp we'll hardly have meter for that kind of thing."

I bite my lip."Or we can wait till after the series."

"No, Petals."Kazzie touches me under the Chin to ca-ca me look up at her."We should do it now, so she doesn't flavour we've been hiding it from her. That you've been hiding me from her."

I take a bass breath."Well…Saturday night's busy time at the eating place, but she should be home by now."It's one-half by eleven."I'll outcry her, then."

"Put it on the loudspeaker, will you ?"she asks, as the phone on the other end begins to ring.

The old, familiar voice, the phonation that always fills me with love and anger in adequate measure."Hello ?"

"Mā ? It's Meimei."

"Meimei ?"A sharp inspiration of breathing time."Is something amiss ? Are you all right ?"

"Nothing's awry, Mā. We're leaving for the cricket training camp tomorrow. I'm fine."

"Hmm."She sounds non-committal."Your babe told me about that. I suppose I should be happy."

"Well, Mā…there's something else I wanted to tell you. I've met someone, Mā. We're serious."

There's a foresightful pause."Is he a overnice Taiwanese boy ?"she asks eventually.

"No, Mā. It's not a Taiwanese boy and…it's a she."

"hello, ma'am,"Kazzie says brightly, in her unmistakably feminine articulation.

The secretiveness on the former end goes on for so foresighted I wonder if the joining went down. Then my mother explodes in a violent storm of Cantonese.

"Mā,"I say,"Mā, please slow down, you know I can't understand you when you speak so quickly."

She slows down, her voice quiet and venomous. She's still speaking Yue dialect."I suppose I can't stop you from doing what you want, but you have just disgraced not just yourself but your total kin. Don't you even have the little thoughtfulness for folk accolade at all ?"

"Mā, wait -"

"No, you wait, Meimei. For once in your life, waiting and mind, because this is the last time I'm ever going to talk to you, so I intend to make myself heard. I can forgive a lot of things, I can even support a lot of things that I can't forgive but I can't variety, but I will not ever accept you defiling yourself and our family by lying with another cleaning woman. You can't ask that of me."She draws a prospicient breath."Do whatever you want, but never ever touch me again."

"Petals !"Kazzie's staring at me with ball over centre."What is it ? You look as though you're about to swoon. What did she say ?"

I tell her through sassing that I can hardly feel. By the clock time I finish tears are running down both our faces.

"I'm so sorry,"I finish."I'm so meritless she's like this."

Kazzie squeeze me, and kisses me once on my frontal bone."No, Petals. It's I who should be sorry."

"Why ?"I look at her, astonished."Whatever did you do ?"

"It's not what I did, it's what I have to do."She stands up and begins gathering her things."I can't do this any longer with you."

"What ? Kazzie - it's my female parent, not I who…"

Kazzie shakes her head."That's not it, is it ? I know quite well that you love me, that you - expect, let me continue. I said I know quite well that you'll pick out me over your mum, but that's not what I want. She'll always be there between us, Petals. You'll never forget that you dumped her for me, and neither will I."She draws a tenacious, ragged intimation. Her vocalisation breaks on a sob."No ! Don't touch me, Don't make this even more difficult for me. I'm, I'm sorry for being so infirm, that I can't put my happiness over yours, but there it is."She rubs furiously at her eyes."No need to see me down. I'll call in an Uber or something."

"Kazzie…I implore you."

"Petals…Dongmei, please. You don't know how firmly this is for me. Please don't make it harder. I'm already at breaking dot. I'm so sorry, Dongmei. I'll see you at the breeding camp."She looks at me over her shoulder, and then she's gone.

I collapse to my knees, screaming, maybe soundlessly, maybe not, I don't know, the pain flows over me like a wave, and I fall and fall into a pit of despair and the falling never stops.



I'm at the training camp. I bowl at the earnings, I do fielding exercise, I get to know my new teammate. I even attempt to bat at the nets.

It's all at a Brobdingnagian remove, as though mortal else is operating my body. I'm no longer alive, I'm a automaton, or a fomite controlled by soul else in the number one wood's seat. This person is good at her job. She plays the part of me quite well, bowls barbarous turners at the nets, run after the ball and slings it back to the wicket door from the bound, even smiles at appropriate times. She's a consummate actress, but she's not I. She's just playing me.

Kazzie…no, I can't think of her that way anymore, I've lost that right wing ; Karizma keeps wicket to my bowling at nets, and slowly we develop that unspoken voice communication between wicket keeper and spin bowler that we need, the code that I can use to let her know what I'll be bowling adjacent. At one time I'd have rejoiced at it, but no longer. It's just another thing, like bowling googlies at Sally or diving to entrance balls thrown by Gloria at fielding practice.

Charles Hardin Holley Newhart isn't a unspoiled captain. I already suspected this from her criminal record and watching matches of the squad during the cobbler's last yr, but she's even worse than I expected. I think she once heard the term"bull dyke"and adopted it as her model both in appearance and behaviour, being deliberately noisome when she doesn't have to be. Ironically, in reality she's straight as the day is long. For some reason she singles Sally and me out for limited attention, maybe because while she's tall, Sally and I are taller. It makes Sally throw her antagonism from me to Holly, and even try to be cordial with me, but the actress playing me doesn't maintenance either way.

I've already decided that once this series is over, when I'm dropped from the team afterwards, I'm going to leave cricket. I can't do this anymore, watch Karizma stroke herself after a ball or aspect my leg happy chance during batting drill and not be able to do a thing to mend my shattered inwardness. I'll give up this part of my life completely ; what I'll do next I don't know, and I no longer really care.

I'm all in. I'm just pretending to be alive.

I share a room with Pashtana ; lovely Pashtana, so sweet and beautiful, so deadly on the battlefield with her left arm medium footstep and not one-half bad with the bat besides. One eve, I'm back in the room as usual instead of mingling with the eternal rest of the team, when she comes in and point of view there looking at me.

"Uh, Pash ?"I ask eventually."Did you need something ?"

"Dongmei…it's not my shoes to say this, of course, and if you tell me to exclude up I'll understand."She sits down on her bed and looks at me cautiously."Something's wrong, isn't it ? Something's badly wrong."

I make a dissonance and swallow."How do you mean, something's untimely ?"

"It's obvious. You've lost something or someone, your core is broken, and you're in despair. All the signs are there."

Hot tears burn behind my eyes at the compassion in her voice."Pash…"

"When we left capital of Afghanistan,"she said evenly, looking down at the floor,"I was just the Saame way. Everyone was saying how lucky we were to receive got out in clock time, but I didn't think so. I still, you know, yearn to see my Kabul mountains on the visible horizon, walk my old street, laugh with my old friends. Every nighttime I dream I'm back there, or visiting the Paghman gardens with my crony and sister."A single glittering tear trickles down her cheek. The old me would have wanted to brush it away. The actress playing me doesn't move.

"But,"she says, still not looking at me,"I couldn't show what I was feeling, how heartbroken I was, because my parents had with so very much difficulty managed to get us out in fourth dimension, leaving everything behind. I still can't show it in front of them. So I pretended I was happy and content. I became very good at pretending. But…"her mind rises finally,"…I know what the signs are like. I saw them every day in the mirror, for year. And I see them all in you."

I can't consume it anymore, the dam has built up too practically pressure behind it, and I collapse beside her on her bed, shuddering and crying. Pashtana's blazonry are around me, and I'm sobbing into her shoulder, shamelessly and desperately."I'm sorry,"I manage, between paroxysms of sobs."I'm so no-good for being such a fool."

"You aren't,"she says, her voice full of sorrow."It's just grief. There's zippo foolish in grieving for what you've lost."

"It is, when it's all my demerit,"I manage."It's my fault that I drove her away."

"Her…oh."Pashtana draws away slightly."It's a girl ? Dongmei, is it Karizma ?"

I nod through my tears."How did you bonk ?"

"I thought I saw the same mark in her. I wasn't sure, because I don't know her very well."She sighs."I suppose it won't be of any help if I tell you that at least being in the Lapplander team means you could touch on affair at some point ?"

I shake my psyche."It's beyond repair."

"Please, Dongmei. zippo's beyond repair, if you only have hope."She hugs me again."Can you at least promise me to have hope ?"

"Do you have hope…of someday being able to go back to Kabul ?"

She smiles a little."Only every minute of every day. It keeps me breathing and functioning. will you promise me to have Hope, Dongmei ?"

"I'll try,"I whisper."I'll try my best to hope. That's all I can promise."

She pats my articulatio humeri as though she's much older instead of one year younger than me."That'll be plenty to work with."



"So,"holly says, tapping her lean with her pen,"we're going with five bowlers. That means there's only room for one spinner."

The initiatory one day international versus India is tomorrow. Ironically it's going to be at the Same sports stadium where Karizma and I'd firstly met. The team's staying at a different hotel, of course ; at the international level we pace mellow quickness than a mere order or provincial squad. It's before sunup practice, and we're at a strategy session, which I can already severalise isn't getting anywhere fast.

"Since we can only have one spinner…"Holly stares right at me,"…it's between Sharon and Zhang."Sharon Donne is our off-spinner, a gangly holdover from the old team."Now Sharon's played India before, and she can bat. Zhang's never played anyone, and can't bat at all."She's still staring at me."So we're going with Sharon."

It's nothing More than I expected, so I'm neither surprise nor foiled. I look around the team ; only Pashtana and, surprisingly, Sally look as if they want to say anything. Karizma's sitting with her back to me so I don't know if she reacted in any way at all.

"right wing,"holly slaps the rolled up list on her palm."Let's go down and get to practice."

Sally sidles up to me as we're headed down the steps."What a kick,"she whispers."You deserved the spot much more. Sharon got demolished by Bharat hold up sentence round. It's just her way of keeping her cronies on the team."

"She didn't preserve you out,"I reply mildly."Congrats, Sal. I hope you score a century."

"Yes, well, we'll just see, won't we ?"She trots quickly down the steps and out on the field.

Since I won't be playing, I only bowl a few overs at the net and then throw the ball around for the others'fielding drill, and after that walk to the boundary to imbibe some H2O ; the day is hot. As I stand sipping at my water watching the practice, I hear a sudden voice behind me."Dongmei Zhang ?"

I turn, and my ticker seems to stand still. The woman behind me is an icon in the cleaning lady's cricket macrocosm, someone I grew up hero-worshipping, whose card were among those that I would have put up on my bedroom wall if my mother had permitted posters. Even now, in her late thirty-something, she's devastatingly lovely with her brilliant smiling and dark glowing skin.

It's Radhika Pandey, the senior pilot of the American-Indian language cricket team.

"Ms Pandey !"The pee bottle falls to the skunk. My hired hand fly up to clasp each former under my chin."Oh my god ! I can't believe it's you."

She tilts her caput and looks up at me quizzically."Well, number 1 affair, drop this ‘ Ms Pandey'stuff and nonsense. You call me Radhika like everyone else. Anyway, you'd have met me tomorrow, wouldn't you ? I just came looking for you to make it sooner."

I swallow. Despite the water I've just drunk, my backtalk's dry again."You came looking for me ? How do you even know I exist ?"

She snorts."A poor captain I would be, if I didn't do some basic inquiry on the opposing team. So, a little birdie William Tell me that you aren't in the eleven to recreate us tomorrow. Frankly, I'm relieved."

"You are ? Why ?"

"Because you're safe, Dongmei, you are very, very, good and you'd be a John R. Major headache for us. No, don't bother denying it, I've watched the videos. But, since you aren't playing, I'd like a favour."

"You've got it."For her I'd walk barefoot on break off glass."What do you require ?"

"We're holding lucre across on the other side."She tip."I'd like you to come and bowl a duo of overs to me. leave you ?"

Oh yes, I think. Oh yes, yes, yes.

I accompany her to the Native American English, where I get a lot of peculiar feeling as Radhika pads up and pulls on her batting glove. A tall and brawny woman I recognise as Rukhsana Ansari comes over to me. She's a libertine off-spinner and a dangerous middle-order batswoman."So you're the new sensation ?"

"sense experience ?"I blink at her."I just got picked by pure luck."

"Not to find out Radhika talk of it. She's held entire strategy sitting on how to anticipate you."

"She did ?"

"She did."Rukhsana gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder. It feels like being slapped by a brick."Right, then, go ahead and show her what you've got !"

It feels strange to see Radhika facing me in the mesh, as though she were my own teammate. I start off with a leg respite which she blocks with no apparent effort, and then another she drives in the general commission of mid-off. I pitch the third gear delivery a bit short, and it jumps a bit, almost at chest height, and she opens the face of her bat to it so that it drops to the ground at her feet.

The fourth rescue is one of those I wish I could bowl whenever I want to. I pitch it in business line with her leg, and as she comes forward, it breaks viciously, almost square, hits the upper corner of her bat steel, and arcs over her shoulder as a apprehension even Claire couldn't possibly have missed.

She smiles at me."See, I told you you're good."

Her teammates are watching as I bowl a few more leg breaks and straight ones. Then, on an impulse, I decide to try my secret weapon.

Long ago I discovered that I could bowl a googly using the exact same grip and social movement as for a leg shift, with entirely my finger's breadth delivering the balance of the spin. It's not something I can do easily, and it's murderously difficult to pitch exactly where I want it to, but when it comes off well it can do wonders. So I decide to just try it here for once.

I bowl with full escape, Radhika steps forward to strickle it as it rises from the pitch, only it's not where she expects, and the ball turns in, dungeon low, and whacks her on the stake pad. A clear leg before wicket birdsong, even with a one-eyed arbitrator. She looks at it disbelievingly, looks at me, and shakes her head."How did you do that ?"

Suddenly I realise that I've got something that Radhika Pandey can't handle. I have something that the nance of charwoman's cricket batting can't handle."It just happened,"I say."I must accept landed on some uneven place on the ground."

"Uneven spot on the ground, my foot,"she says, good-naturedly enough."My Bible, I am glad you aren't playing us tomorrow !"

After bowling a few more overs I go back to our side, where nobody seems to possess even noticed my absence. India thinks I'm dangerous, my own team can't be bothered to notice I'm there, I think, tale of my aliveness. Just as I reach the table with the pee bottles I hear a cry of pain.

It's Sharon. She's holding her mightily paw in her leftfield and grimacing. Everyone rushes over to her and I do, too.

"Fucking Ball,"Sharon pant. Her correctly hired hand's already swelling."It hit my finger and hang it back. I think the off-white's broken."

"Get her to hospital right away,"Holly lodge. She's looking more disgusted than come to."Let me know immediately what they say."

The finding of fact is back in half an 60 minutes. Sharon's mediate finger's fractured. It's her bowling manus, too.

Holly turns a purple hue at the news, and then turns to me."You. Zhang. Since we've no choice, you'll be in the eleven tomorrow."She waits, perhaps for me to evince gratitude or something. If so, she waits in vain."Get down to practice,"she says."If you're playing you need to act like it."

So I get down to practice and start acting like a musician.

It's only when I'm getting ready for bed at night that I realise that the actress playing me seems to let gone on holiday the import Radhika came up and called my name.

Am I starting to experience again ?



Fifteen overs into the Indian innings, and Radhika's on fervor.

We won the toss and Holly chose to field first, a determination Sally, the only one of us with captaincy experience, had derided in a whisper to Pashtana and me."This pitch's going to crumble in the afternoon,"she'd said."Any fool can see that. It'll be a nightmare to bat on at the end of the day."

And now Radhika's on 85 political campaign from just 57 balls, and has blasted our bowling all over the ground. Even Pashtana's been hit all over the space. One of Radhika's drives, a lofted six over long-on, sails so far over my head word that I don't even attempt to jump-start for it. I'm not Superwoman.

Holly stands with the globe in her bridge player as we change over. Then she calls me to her.

"Zhang. You'll bowl the next over, so Stanikzai can trade destruction. Try not to fall in too many runnel away."

I take the ball. floor of my life, again. Just as at schoolhouse, I'm the one who's only in the team on sufferance, because there's cipher else. This time yesterday, I wouldn't have cared. I was all in then.

But I'm starting to amount live again. I'm starting to care again.

Unlike the last time I was here, the stadium is packed. This is, without a doubt, the largest number of people I've ever played in front of. I block out their world. There's me, there's the ball in my hand, and there's Radhika watching me swing my arm to relax it.

And there's Karizma, behind Radhika, bouncing up and down on her toes. I look at her and she looks at me, and I try to broadcast a subject matter across the lurch by my eyes alone.

Please, I beg her, just be mine for this over, remember what I told you about my undercover weapon when we were together. Just this once, please. And, stupidly, I imagine I get a response.

Holly, as I knew she would, has set an ultra-mega defensive playing area, without consulting me. I don't even bother looking at it. Radhika is going to run away with the secret plan unless she's stopped. I'm the lone one who can end her. fountainhead, then.

I decide to bowl brush up the wicket, a movement that I'm sure is going to send Holly's lineage pressure soaring. It's the first formal I'm ever going to bowl in international cricket. I block that from my mind, as I block out the gang and Holly.

I'm good at blocking out things.

I come trotting in, the ball leaves my hand, angling across the pitch to land in logical argument with center stump, and Radhika steps forward, all set to cover-drive me to the boundary, and instead the ball breaks viciously in, clips her bat, and Karizma takes one of the outflank tumbling catches I've ever seen, diving to her left at full stretch.

I can't believe it. I drop to my knees a bit before the entire team throws itself on top of me and flattens me to the ground.

When they finally get off me I see Radhika's still there, standing next to me. She shakes my hand."Congratulations. You're really going to have to learn me how you do that."She smiles and walks off to the pavilion.

wisecrack walks over as I watch Diana Pinto, India's number three, exit the pavilion and trudge towards us."You jammy bitch. How does it palpate to call for a wicket off your first ball in outside cricket ?"

I shake my head."I still haven't processed it."I nod my chief towards Princess of Wales."She's good, and you'd salutary get ready for me to be belted across the ground, now."

I don't get belted across the ground, but Diana does get a couple of runnel off my third gear ball, and a single off the fourth, so on the one-fifth ball I'm faced with Bharat's former undoer, Sharmishta Talukdar, a brusque beat woman with more muscle superpower and wrist flexibility than one would imagine looking at her flesh. She stares at me impassively.

She's not so impassive one delivery later, when I bowl her bout her stage with one of those square turning leg breaks I wish I could summon whenever I want to.

One dot testis later, and my offset International over is done. Two wickets for three runs.

It's when I'm walking back to the boundary that I wonder if Karizma had been among those rushing to pile themselves on me after I'd got Radhika. I certainly hadn't gone to pride her on her brilliant catch.

Once again, I'm wrecking thing for myself. It seems to be all I can do.

The game goes on. After my two-wicket first over, Buddy Holly can't exactly claim me off the bowling, so I continue for my full ten overs and end up with two More wickets, taking four for thirty seven. Not bad, not bad at all. Pashtana has success too, in her moment magical spell, ending up with pattern of three for fifty dollar bill. In the end India are all out on the finally testis of the 49th over and we're left to mark 285 to win.

Not good. On this pitch, not unspoiled at all, but a lot upright than it would throw been had Radhika and Sharmishta been able to carry on belting our bowling for another ten overs or so.

During the lunch severance, Holly gets down to instructing our opening batswomen, Dorothy and Gloria, on what they should do. I can see that they aren't hearing, and neither am I. If the secret plan goes down to the pointedness where I have to go to bat, scheme won't mean a maledict thing anyway.

Instead, I take a late breathing place and go over to Karizma."Hi."

She smiles briefly at me."Hello, Dongmei. You did well today."

"So did you. It was a splendid catch, that first one."I want to say everything in my heart, to put it all into words, but I can't. The frequent smell in her centre Pierce me to the mortal. This isn't the Kazzie I knew. I can feel the pain inside her."I'll be cheering for you when you bat,"I say.

She nods."I know."

"Well…"I remember with a pang like a spear to my boob how she and I sat talking and laughing during early match while she was waiting for her number to bat."Best of destiny, then."

"Thanks."She looks down at her hands. I hesitate, then walk away.

The match goes on. Dorothy and Gloria, magnificently ignoring Holly's operating instructions, hang together for the world-class eighteen overs, posting an opening partnership of 119 runs. Then Dorothy gets a pinch overconfident, just a scintilla, and drags an outswinger from Poonam Singh back onto her stumps.

After that matter begin going to hell quite fast. Sally comes in and manages to string up around for a while, throwing her bat around and scoring L off XL bringing, but, just as she'd predicted, the delivery's begun to tumble. Charles Hardin Holley herself manages to hit the splendid score of two runs.

And then, suddenly, we're eight wickets down for 249, with Pashtana and Karizma at bat and three overs to go.

"Zhang,"Holly calls, quite superfluously,"get your gear on."

I'm long since in my lodgings and gloves, also well aware that this is probably futile, and yet watching as Pashtana drives Rukhsana to the surplus cover boundary for two serial fours. Sixteen balls to go, 28 runs to win.

18 hours ago I wouldn't have cared. Now I'm leaning on the pavilion balcony wall, staring down at the field, my centre racing.

Rukhsana finishes off her over, conceding two more runs off the live on ball. Twelve balls to go, 26 runs to win.

Poonam Singh comes back to trough, after being held back by Radhika for the Death overs. Her first ball is short, almost a bouncer, and might birth counted as a no-ball, but Karizma pivot like a social dancer, her bat twinkling in the air, and the ball goes first bounce over the deep square leg boundary. Eleven balls to go, 22 to win.

The bunch roars as though it's watching us amount back from the dead.

I bite my lip as I watch Poonam start running up for her next obstetrical delivery. She's very, very fast, very, very, well, and I'm still telling myself this when the lump smacks into Karizma's bat, soars through the air, and crashes into the wall just under my hands.

Ten balls to go, sixteen runnel to win.

A totally irrelevant thought process goes through my brain. I hope Carrie isn't hyperventilating.

Two dot globe later, I'm the one who's in danger of hyperventilating, and Karizma square-cutting Poonam for three running isn't calculated to make me pass off easier. Six balls to go, thirteen to win.

It's Rukhsana who's going to bowl the final over. I'm vaguely mindful that one of the television cameras is zooming in on my human face. I can think the commentary, maybe by Karizma's father :"Dongmei Zhang, awaiting her turn to bat. She's probably hoping she doesn't have to."

Correct. I'm hoping I don't bloody have to, and so is my entire team and anyone else who knows what my batting is like.

Radhika and Rukhsana hold a quick midfield group discussion, and rearrange the fielding. I can't even pass water myself search round at the others in the pavilion.

The first egg of the net over. Rukhsana trundles up, swings her arm, the ball breaks in sharply and Karizma just helps it along with her bat to the ok leg bounds. It's one of the most complete leg glance shots I've ever seen.

Five balls. club runs. This is why cricket exists, why it's a game.

The next musket ball's just a little myopic, Rukhsana probably hoping to make it rise enough to force Karizma to play it defensively, but she steps out to encounter it as it rises and lofts it to the long on bounds. The globe clears the ropes by a metre.

And suddenly like magic the office's reversed. Four chunk to go, just three political campaign to win.

The crowd is silent. Everybody's waiting to see what happens next.

Rukhsana doesn't offer under pressure. Her side by side clump is a beast. It barely rises from the delivery, and Karizma has to dig her bat down in a hurry to keep it from going through to the wicket.

Three balls to go, three trial to win.

I don't bite my fingernails, but my teeth are buried in my small lip.

Rukhsana's succeeding ball, the quaternary of the over, slant on off rostrum, keeps straight, and Karizma, who was clearly expecting an off break, swings at it but only gets an edge. It streaks past wicket keeper Princess of Wales Pinto towards the boundary, and Karizma and Pashtana race past each former as Poonam bang in from third man, picks up the ball and go it on the go, Karizma and Pashtana going for the second run, Princess of Wales taking Poonam's stroke and hurling down the ambo at the non-striker's end with a throw that might almost have broken the sound barrier, leaving Pashtana over a metre suddenly. The third arbiter isn't even necessary.

My body floods with adrenaline. Two orb to go, two runnel to win, and I'm in.

I collect my bat and start for the stairs."Dongmei,"quip calls."Helmet."

Oh, heavens. I forgot my helmet and the last thing I want to do is barren time going back for it. There's one on a death chair next to me, though, so I just pick it up instead. After all, I'll be at the non-striker's end and probably won't need it anyway.

I pass Pashtana on the way, and she offers me a smile."Charles Herbert Best of luck,"she calls, just loudly enough for me to hear over the holloa of the gang.

"Thanks,"I tell her."You played brilliantly, Pash."

The helmet's much too large for me, and I re-buckle the strap tight as I reach the wicket. Karizma nods at me from the other end, and takes guard.

There's only one matter that Karizma can do. She's not going to try and fight down, she's going to hit whatever Rukhsana sends down wherever she can. So I'm make to run, only the tip of my bat keeping me anchored to the crease.

Rukhsana is wickedly profligate, almost as fast as a medium pacer. From the pavilion I'd not realised just how quick she is. Her delivery streak past me towards Karizma, she jive her bat and I'm already running before I'm even surely she's connected. The glob's hit the bottom of her bat and rolls towards mid-off, and Rukhsana filling it up on her follow-through. But in the lag we've just managed to get across for a single.

The scores are level, 284 each. One ball to go, I have to face it, and I have to score one run.

Everything is déjà vu again. Saame field, same situation, Lapplander everything.

Maybe I won't muck it up ?

Who am I fooling ?

Of track I'll gook it up.

There's nothing I can't mire up if I put my brain to it.

I take a cryptical breath and try to quiet down.

Lady Diana Frances Spencer Pinto behind the rostrum puffs out her cheeks."This game isn't doing my roue insistence any right,"she tells me.

"I doubt it's helping mine either,"I say, before turning to ask the umpire for a leg stump guard. I feel like an half-wit, because I barely have any idea where my leg stump is at the best of times, and this time I'll just give birth to swing my bat at whatever comes my way.

Rukhsana takes her time, looking around the field and gesturing square leg forwards, for all the world as though I were a competent batswoman who knew what she were doing. If I can get my bat to have-to doe with the ball, that's already an achievement for me.

Briefly I cross glimpse with Karizma, who's standing as I'd been, on the pitch with her bat held back to touch the crease. Behind her, Radhika is standing at short mid-on. She sees me looking at her and gives a petty wave.

I remember, acuate as though it were happening right now, standing right here at this same spot, running, falling, hearing the clatter of clod on lattice. I squeeze my heart shut and throw off my promontory. That was then, this is now.

Here comes Rukhsana, ambling in with that deceptively boring run up which disguises the blistering f number with which she bowls. Her arm goes up, then the chunk is streaking towards me down the sales talk and I step forward and swing the bat in the general direction of the ballock as unvoiced as I can.

Karizma is already sprinting at me when the ball hits the bottom bound of my bat, bounces hard on the tar, and rolls down towards mid-on. I take off down the sales pitch, running as fast as I can, past Karizma, the crew's ululate a falls of noise in my ears, Radhika racing in from short mid-on, picking up the ball on the run and throwing it as hard as she can at the wicket, and I'm still short of the crease, I dive, reaching out with my bat, and the orb is growing in my peripheral imaginativeness, the ball is getting bigger and bigger, the bollock streaks in between the peak and face-guard of my too large helmet and smashes into my head.

There's an twinkling of Edward D. White light, a flash of excruciation, and my humankind blinks out.



Somewhere, a phonation is speaking.

"She's got a bad cut and possible concussion. That's all I can assure you. We're still running tests."

It's an interest dream, I think. I'm floating in fuzzy tender darkness, the darkness is enfolding and comforting, listening to the voice.

A broken-hearted sob somewhere, in the distance.

"Ma'am, please check yourself. There's nothing to do but wait."

hold for what, I wonder lazily. I want to comfort whoever's crying. Surely it can't be as bad as all that, I want to say.

But the warm iniquity is so comfortable. I just lie back and let it extend me away.



There's a blur in front of me when I open my eyes. I blink and it resolves itself into a plonk face in a nurse's cap, looking down at me.

"Doctor, she's awake."

Doctor ? What do I need a Doctor for ? I look around. I'm in a hospital bed.

Why am I in a hospital bed ?

An aged man in a ashen doctor's coat appears next to the nursemaid. He's got a tomentum of Edward White cotton-wool hair and wire framed spectacle. He looks down at me and holds up three fingers."How many fingers am I holding up ?"

"Three."Is this some kind of secret plan ? I'm not a child.

"Can you heighten your top dog ? Do you hold any discomfort ?"

I raise my head experimentally."I'm fine."

"pulse rate and blood force per unit area normal,"the nurse says.

"You're a very golden young lady,"the Doctor of the Church says."It could easily have been a much worse injury."

What injury ? What have I done to myself ? I just retrieve that I was getting set for the cricket match and…

The cricket match ! Memory comes flooding back. Running for the crease, diving, Radhika's cam stroke, the Lucille Ball, my capitulum. I reach up to touch my head and my fingers encounter a surgical tape bandage. I wince.

"You'd better leave that alone,"the nurse says severely."You've got stitches."

"And prosperous at that,"the doctor says."You could've had concussion, bleeding around your brain, or a skull fracture. As it is all you've done is lose a bit of blood and get a slice on your forehead."He turns to leave, the wet-nurse trailing in his wake.

"time lag !"I call."Did we win ?"

"Oh, I don't know."The nurse looks back at me over her shoulder joint."I don't follow cricket. I have a lot of expert things to do."



Soon afterwards I get visitors.

My teammates trickle in one by one. Pashtana hugs me gingerly, as though I were a fragile vase."Did we win ?"I ask her.

She smiles."Yes, we did. But it didn't matter so much at the time."

"You gave us a proper scare,"Sally says, handing me a bunch of grapes and tearing off a twosome to pop into her sassing. She glances at Pashtana."This one fainted when she saw the blood."

Pashtana blushes like a schoolgirl, like Carrie."I…don't like blood much."

"It's all right, Pash,"I reassure her."So, are you all going to practice now ?"

"Right, now that we know you'll live."sallying forth gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder joint."Your veterinarian out there says you'll be let go sometime this good afternoon if you don't relapse or anything, so don't imagine for a instant that I'll give you an easy time at the nets tomorrow."

I grin. Under all that attitude she carries around, she's actually a very prissy girl. Someone should let her know that.

The team leaves, one by one, and only after they've all gone, when I know for sure that no more are coming, that I admit to myself that the one person I was looking for, the one I'd needed, wouldn't be visiting.

The pain of that in my bosom is so a lot worse than the pain of the injury in my head.

Before I get a probability to wallow in it, the door opens again and a beautiful embrown face looks in."May I come in ?"

"Of course, Radhika."I smile at her."How are you ?"

She steps quietly to my bedside."I'd like to…apologise."

"Whatever for ? You didn't mean to do it."

"Not about that."She looks startled."You mean you don't bonk ?"

"Know what ? I don't know anything."

"Oh…right. Well, let me just tell you that there are certain people in India who…"she takes a trench breathing spell."Let's just say that there are mass who were cheering me for ‘ trying to shoot down a Chinese'on social media, and regretting only that I ‘ break down ’."

I think about that."Radhika…there are cretin in every res publica. You know that. It isn't your fault."

"We couldn't stop dumb, anyway."She fumbles her phone out of her air pocket and looks for a file."Our squad, at my trace, released this statement an hour ago. Here."

I take the phone."We, the members of the Amerindian language adult female's Cricket Team,"I read,"unanimously and in the solid words condemn the indefensible remark of a certain surgical incision of the world against our admirer and worthy opposition, Dongmei Zhang. We apologise in the name of the country to her and assure her that these scuttlebutt have no connection with the warmly regard in which we hold her personally."I look up at Radhika, a lump forming in my throat."Thank you so much."

She nods."You're more than welcome, my high-priced. I hear you're to be released today ? I'm gladiola. You're going to be the best leg spinner the reality's seen since Indigofera suffruticosa Kumble."

"Oh come on, that's a bit much."

"It's aught but the verity. You'll see."She looks towards the door."I should go. You've early visitant waiting. Your family, I think."

My category ? I'm astonished. Why would they come here ?"Thanks for the visit, Radhika."

"Oh, postponement, before I go, one last thing."Radhika turns back at the doorway and walks back to my bedside."Dongmei, could I ask you a very personal question ?"

I blink."I suppose."

"Are you, ah, in any way…romantically involved with Karizma Davis ?"

I sigh, the pain clean again."I was. She broke it off."

"Oh ? That surprises me."

"It does ? Why ?"

"When the orchis hit you yesterday…"She looks at the bandage."We didn't at first bang you were injured. We thought you were, you know, just lying on the pitching for a few secondment before you got up and celebrated. Then she, you know, Karizma, came rushing over from the other end and threw herself to your side and began screaming for help. She was there before even the umpire could take a look."She hesitates a import."I think you'll find that she didn't really kick downstairs it off after all."



I finally cover her down to the Saami hotel ginmill where we'd first had drunkenness together, sitting in the Lapplander corner where I'd been sitting, her head bowed over a tankard of beer.

I watch her for a second before speaking."Drowning your grief in inebriant ? It doesn't oeuvre, the bloody matter can swim."

She looks up and gives me a wan smile. Her eyes are pools of pain."Dongmei."

"May I sit down ?"

She nods."How did you find me ?"

"I thought you'd be here when the team said you'd gone out and wouldn't say where. I did call first, but you'd turned off your phone."

"I…didn't want calls. I didn't want to talk to anyone."

"Karizma…Kazzie."I reach out to stir her hand."I'm here. Talk to me."

"I can't !"she sobs.

"Why not ?"

"Do you have to ask ? I thought you were dying. I look at you and at every bit I feel how very much I love you, and I know that I can't do anything about it because I'm so unaccented, and I can't heap with it anymore. It's tearing me to man inside."

"You aren't weak. You're the strongest woman I know. Much warm than me."

"Come off it."She glances at me and down at her beer."I can't even get my noggin straight. If I could I'd have just taken you and let your kinship with your mum workplace itself out however. But I can't even recover the military posture to do that."

"You don't have to, Kazzie."

"I don't ? Why ?"

"This first light my family came to chit-chat me at the hospital. Let me tell you what happened."



FLASHBACK ; THE HOSPITAL VISIT

Bàba and Biyu enter together, my endearing sister, looking even more ethereal than ever. She looks back over her shoulder."Come on, Mā."

It's the first time I've seen Bàba since I left. He's not changed, still square-faced, slightly gaunt, slightly stooping. I get my height from him."Meimei,"he says hesitantly."How are you ?"

"I'm fine, Bàba. The accidental injury isn't bad. They're letting me out this afternoon and I'll be back at practice tomorrow."

"So you're…going to carry on playing this game ?"

"Of course she is,"Biyu bursts out."Did you even read the articles I showed you ? Everyone's saying she's one of the expert new prospects in cricket in twelvemonth. They say she'll be a legend before she's through."

"They are ?"I look at her."That's strange. Are you sure you aren't just having me on ?"

"No, I'm not, but don't you get a big headland,"she snaps at me."It'll just draw it easier for people to smell you with the ball on your noggin."

I laugh. Then I look at Mā, who's said nix so far. Normally she dominates any conversation."Mā ? Are you all right ?"

For a moment I think she's not going to say anything, but then she sighs and almost deflates."Your sis told me you were hurt. I was so panicky. I'm sword lily you're fine."

"That's not the only if thing you have to tell her, Mā."Biyu glares at her."You know that."

Mā nods."It's just…it's private. Between her and me."

"I understand."Biyu takes Bàba by the arm."We'll just wait outside for a few minutes until you're done."

Mā waiting till the door's closed behind them."Meimei…tell me something, seriously. Do you really get laid this missy, or were you just trying to blow out of the water me ?"

"Oh, Mā."My breathing space catches in my throat."You know I wouldn't do such a thing to you."

Mā nods, and then slowly fetches her sound from her crown sack."Your sister showed me a exposure. Here."

I take the telephone set, and gasp. It's of Kazzie, helmetless, crouching over my unconscious body, screaming at the viewer, eyes dilated with fear. Underneath is the caption :"Karizma Miles Davis calls for help after her mate Dongmei Zhang was injured during the One Day International peer against India."

Mā takes hold of my hand and the phone."That's the boldness of a woman in mortal panic,"she says quietly."Only the terror that's born of out-and-out love life can take in one look like that."She sighs."I won't lie to you, Meimei, I still can't translate how a woman can love another woman, you know, that way, but she loves you and she loves you unconditionally."

"Mā…there's no way to put into language how much I love her…and I love you, Mā."

She reaches out to brush her finger's breadth down my look."I know, daughter. I know."



Kazzie is sobbing helplessly into her beer by the time I finish.

"Oi,"I say,"if you're going to ruin that by watering it, I'd better rescript more."

She snorts through her rent."I missed you so much, you prat."

"As did I, you lunatic."I go off to get the beer for us. When I return she's turning on her phone."You want to talk to citizenry again, now ?"

"Just to you. And maybe to one somebody who's probably beside herself worrying about you."

"Carrie,"I say.

"Carrie,"Kazzie agrees."We'd better put her out of her misery."

"doe she…you know…know about our, uh, break ?"

"No, I didn't tell her. I was…"she hesitates.

"…hoping it would work itself out, somehow ?"I chuckle."Pash was right. It must be that Afghan wisdom."

"What are you gabbling about ?"

"I'll tell you later. Let's call Carrie and get it over with."

Later, after Carrie's screaming has finally stopped echoing in our spike, we walk out on the street, helping hand in hired hand. We see the bench we'd sat on the last time. Another twosome is sitting on it now, a boy and a girlfriend, talking softly.

"It reminds me of us,"Kazzie says.

"Hmm,"I reply, looking up at the maven in the sky. The existence twist on, not noticing you, but that doesn't mean you are nothing.

It doesn't mean value that at all.



terzetto month LATER :

Kazzie and I stand slope by side in the pavilion as Gloria and the Sri Lankan master go out to sky for our opening friction match of the humankind Cup. Behind us, sally and Pashtana are throwing a ball back and Forth to each other, so quickly that it seems incredible that neither has dropped it yet. It seems to be their favourite secret plan ; they can keep it up for half an 60 minutes or longer.

My phone buzzes."It's Mā,"I say quietly.

"Take the shout, Petals,"Kazzie says, squeezing my hand.

I do, putting it on loudspeaker."hullo, Mā ?"

"Meimei. I see your cosmos Cup is starting."

"Yes, Mā."

"Your sister insisted on putting a big screen on the side wall of the eating place and projecting the telecast there. We're doing a World Cup stem for now, I think."

"That's…nice."

"Oh, don't you imagine that I'll be watching it instead of seeing the customers are kept fed and happy."She snorts."I have Thomas More sense than that in my old age."

I laugh."We both know you're lying."

Mā oink."Is your, ah, champion, there ?"

I look at Kazzie."Yes, she is."

"Once this foolish macrocosm Cup of yours is done, you bring her here. I want to fulfil her and return her some real Chinese cookery. I shudder to consider what poison you're feeding the miserable girl."

"come on, Mā, I'm not that bad."

"You are, and you know it. And so will she when she eats my cooking."My mother pause, and I think she's going to disconnect the call option, but then she surprises me."Now let me tattle to her."

Surprised, I hand the phone to Kazzie."hello, ma'am,"she says.

"Hello, Karizma."My female parent's voice is warmer than I've heard it in a long time."I need you to do a duo of affair for me."

"Of course. Whatever you say."

"First, take attention of my goosey daughter. Don't let her get hurt again."

"I'll try my in effect, ma'am, but she's, ah, headstrong. In to a greater extent way than one. As I'm sure you know."

Mā chortle."You'll witness it's a family trait. The other thing…"

"Yeh…I mean value, yes, ma'am ?"

"No to a greater extent of this ‘ ma'am'rubbish. You'll visit me mother, or mum, or Mā, as a good daughter-in-law should."

"Daughter-in-law ?"I burst out."Mā, aren't you jumping the gun a wee bit ?"

"No, I am not. Now you keep out of this and let me let the cat out of the bag to her. Karizma ? You understand me ?"

Kazzie laughs."I do…Mummy."

"Good. Now go and win us this Earth Cup of yours."

They've tossed the coin. I don't know who won, and for the moment I don't care.

Kazzie and I've already won what we needed to, and for the moment nothing else matters.

Nothing at all.



EPILOGUE :

CRICKET champion WED

AP, Nov 18.

extremity of the universe Cup winning women's cricket team, Karizma John Davis and Dongmei Zhang, were married in a individual observance yesterday. Apart from the Brigid'quick house, the but attendees were extremity of a girl's school cricket squad the two actor coach in their unembellished time, who acted as maid of honor.

Davys is a wicket keeper and Zhang a leg spinner. If, as is almost sure, they are * * * * * * * * * * * ed for the approaching South African term of enlistment, they will be the first couplet of spouses to play international cricket together for any country.

The South African tour starts in Jan, but final appointment are yet to be announced.

[ THE END. KHATAM SHUD. ]