`` What flooring ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding highschool above Magdelene Street while
answering my cellular phone phone.

'' The lounge trading floor, '' a woman with a plummy accent insisted, `` It 's staining the cap downstairs it really is not trade good enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' London ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' wellspring it 's not good enough, either you rectify it at no cost or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather more than a vague promise, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall anticipate you at seven this evening, that should give you time for shower and a Malva sylvestris burger. ``

'' That 's rush hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving British capital darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't give much choice really, so I thew my tools in the old transit at knocking off time and headed round mammy for a bite to eat and a exhibitor before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car car park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old fashion town menage with a few stairs up to the front door and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath Edward Durell Stone faced to first trading floor point then fork up, a red brick construction basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're early, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front man door.

'' We aim to please, '' I quipped.

'' fountainhead ameliorate your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to allow me into the hallway. She looked previous mid-thirties acted like XC, snotty bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a girl 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But Mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maidservant getup about four size of it too modest, her breasts swelled over the top and it barely reached below her navel which must birth been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeballs back in, they 're on stalks ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the staff. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up and smack the java, '' she insisted, `` Really the small mindedness of the typical British proletarian never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business Madam. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't labour it. '' she said as she locked the outside door behind me, `` But we are not here to discourse my intimate preference, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the lounge, strangely the floor was as I left it, sealed tongue and groove discase true pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the problem ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement roof. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` leakage, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against weewee leakage, '' I explained, `` But the episodic spill should be fine. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could give it another coat, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell of disinfectant ? ``

'' You had amend see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the stair from the wide modern kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the stock room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger against the low ceiling and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the bathymetry go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the smelly drainage, nothing to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me demonstrate. ``

She went back to the waiting room, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` Show our guest the problem. ``

'' schoolmistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man schoolma'am ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show attrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My mind boggled, she had done her best but her bosom still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the bottom couple of in of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please fancy woman, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid person child, '' she insisted.

I had no estimation what was about to encounter when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polish up floor.

'' Bleedin'hell ! '' I swore, `` No damned wonder it wetting and stinks, have n't you ever pick up of lavatories, Thomas Crapper, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your low listen globe have you no knowledge of H2O mutation ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, pee skiing, but not pissing on the animation room floor. ``

'' And it had no effect on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life sentence quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some space,

'' Come Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't degrade a wax grown rabbit. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you mean Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a squeamish strict forearm to the transitory awkwardness of the Male phallus, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the floor is a bit of a gob savor if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a short rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully flyspeck clenched fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like prick, '' the Mistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing level ? '' I asked.

'' Your hard-on Whitney Moore Young Jr. man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of grade I got a heavy on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' ninety seven percent of the grownup universe, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a minority fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the choice I would choose the old Thomas can urinal to the sustenance room level any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my oral cavity, in my hair, in her haircloth, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a thought, '' I admitted.

'' The freedom to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to retain sleeping accommodation good deal under the bed when my heroic dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my stop Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't resolve, does n't the thought of your pee arcing through the air to imbue my dress, my bra, my breasts, does that not charge up you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your lips are silent yet your cock speaks book, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like cocks, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor girl she is so delicious yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not hardhearted Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid, which is why I keep Pippa on a short troika, from her revealing vesture to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all purport and intention, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for pass in the park, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after darkness you understand, with the shit scoop. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the bathroom, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my hand down my jeans, my peter was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` please ! ``

'' Look, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualistic action not readily slip for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' aspect, '' I said, `` You need pelage and pelage of varnish, yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in mind when you had the place done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub declaration, strictly President William Henry Harrison are liable, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a trifle, '' I explained.

'' Which never the lupus erythematosus makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the job ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How a great deal ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four hours to dry between, its ridiculous ! ``

'' I 'll pay for materials, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travel and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's oral cavity, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper berth middle class bitch, who would n't need to piss in her face ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining peter deep in her sweet ping pussy.

'' I do n't know, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for ages have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like cock do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you finger's breadth and my toys schoolmarm, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers peter, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft spot for it but as I mentioned a rigid forearm beats a conciliatory cock on every single level.

'' If we do this, like we need the whole room bare, no furniture, it will be about a week after the last pelage before you can take chances using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet elbow room in the cellar, tile the floor like a shower bath, tile the walls a bit too, not white but maybe slate greyness or something, then you can trifle there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temporary standard and for those atrocious wet nights, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of genial, `` Well to cause a job we really take to pack out the existing, stick in a membrane. ``

'' How a good deal ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball ballpark, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two sidereal day, then you 'll need a plumber to do the cascade heads or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you bulge. '' she asked.

'' Monday hebdomad if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colour Stephen Samuel Wise it should be easy enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` e-mail me the final quotation and I am sure we have a batch. Can I get you a field glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bump in my jeans.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' trade good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` adios Pippa, nice to see you, '' I said and she blushed deep red, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the front doorway, `` The Tradesman 's entrance is down the steps to the right, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' Good night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the theodolite with a big smile on my aspect, I just turned a complaint into two years paid work.

Now that 's a result,

Oh you wanted to hear about the early stuff and nonsense, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a blinking pervert !

To be continued