Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from flaming Yorkshire and I do n't give a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody encounter.

We had a flaming bad head trip back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass were prophylactic and went to see fucking agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a bawd boudoir with furnishings to match. agentive role were a slimy cocksucker with slicked down hair and poncy suit of clothes. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of it of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day sea captain, I am delighted to meet you at cobbler's last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the plaque,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sorting of brass."

"We thought you meant cheek,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short hirsute gorilla in a black attire with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"brass instrument, Money,"I said,"Bloody childlike enough even for you bloody unlearned Lanky sod ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of cop and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How lots were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The check please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped assault depository financial institution and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on rejoinder near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a fair few British pound sterling and went about me business.

XV bloody mean solar day voyage took, bally steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in coin bank and could come household instead of scratting round down Confederacy America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see seaport victor what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few proceedings then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump fresh Robert Brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let about of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody Inferno do I regain a nice plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody golden to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to splice a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore sign or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed skillful idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at poove Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party card outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea clip and noon clip was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager issue forth up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got damage end of stick and suggested a yoke of whore houses.

"Nay I want a char for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an asset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets blooming blast and me cock rot off."

"You can't keep striver anymore, but there's a cuss rhythm Inkerman Street does a smashing chain of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got more girl than you can shake a stick at, why not make him an go ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a splinter of fish and drop curtain o vino that woudn't sustain a bloody church building mouse.

"That's Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to confront me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no sign puma I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me all-fired mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, match of bloody mamilla, own teeth, sense of hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can do in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say Saint George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right hand procurer says,"You might well get hitched with off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy Ilex paraguariensis warned him not to appear too cracking but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His space needed a lick of pigment and the Butler's crown had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the servant one-quarter,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the fellow explained

"senior pilot Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and mouth me bloody idea. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me bloody belt crossbreeding thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody fair sex turns up,"By heck you're an vile bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"dame McGonnegal."

"No offense like,"I says as she belts me round out the chop shot, we her squeamish hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty art object ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite indirect request to motor lodge one of our daughters dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all acquaintance here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a mortal white,"police chief Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe risky venture in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"Storms, storm, bloody feed water heart bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"gentlewoman Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, blinking Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, richly bloody meter to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"peeress Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more blooming like,"I said,"Don't head bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody pantryman poking on her similar thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'rachis 's turned."

butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit blooming nail on't bloody point, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

ma'am Mc knew when to observe stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"seed and meet maitre d' er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The firstly miss were knockout, blond hair on her shoulders, wild blue yonder center, foursquare rigged attire showcasing her tits, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the servants, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my irregular eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the young woman asked.

"Bloody rich and in demand of a bally ass,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a peach and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil picture, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody holdover. Wi her short hair and scowling fount if it had n't been for her tits you 'd get thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your fucking bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"ma'am Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a crashing bloke or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross draw close in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitor are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such thing,"she said.

I thought a bit blinking quick, good chance her were a bloody Virgo the Virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"wellspring I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blooming end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bally Virgin I ‘ ll roll in the hay thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"skipper !"noble Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody helping hand and put a ringing on her bloody finger, take it or leave it."

"We really postulate the money,"ma'am Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a flaming wife lassie, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to look after me fucking theatre, cook, plumb look after damn kids, that variety o thing."I ventured.

"No feigning of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, crashing affection, I just wants a crashing piece of ass, you wo n't do better than that and I shan't bloody offer a bloody gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer chieftain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty small-arm ent her ?"I queried,"I got the hard cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were fucking messing."

Lord Mc's centre bulged as I showed a scoop broad of gold.

"acquire a field glass of wine-coloured Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her cool off down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a dainty Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a flaming pint."I said. He gave me about decent to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and kind Francis out.

I heard a ruction,"Get off me !"I heard the young lady dissent,"halt it, cease it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a evenhandedly bloody price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the fille went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on newly polished oak floors, boulder clay I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two bedchamber maidservant and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her frock off and looked like she been whacked across case with a utter haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee distance stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her crotch and nice creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs wide,"Take a look chieftain,"ma'am Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody tough, sodomize off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But maitre d'hotel,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody line,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me master ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret jeune fille, I never had to force a flaming wench to fuck me in me bally life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genitalia as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to theatrical role her cunt lip with me fingers. It weren't the first time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a flaming bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me crashing sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Lets call it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look senior pilot,"she protested but me finger's breadth were no bloody strangers to a wench's pussy and wi me thumb on her piddling nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no full ramming me pecker at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck opening, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint money box I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bally never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee blinking lead me ?"I asked me knob straining like a blooming mizenmast mast in me hand.

Her eyes were alike saucers, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody bitch like an ground tackle up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in money box me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody make love ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple cd, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for crashing life like, if thee can't tummy it say now and I'll shoot me all-fired consignment over thee belly and say no Sir Thomas More about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"L guinea fowl,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody incumbrance over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly chieftain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not hold back yourself and I believe you have a sort heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot kindling up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your high-risk Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me cock was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too lately for bally pullin'out and she was well fucked with me succus pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next clock time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"sucking me crashing cock surd I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may take in my teats if it helps to agitate you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly pectus against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her finish. Our mouths met, our lingua entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your natural language in their gob, so me shaft reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. master and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old fissure, congratulations,"God Almighty Mc chortled,"Let us give birth the engagement announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea police chief, '' I explained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do flaming matrimony, no bloody need to desolate bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed functionary like, and do you know after we fucked a clip or two her started smiling at me and her smell quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the lights behind her. But at end of bally day its what they fucks like what matter and she's bloody champion and no fault, even if she do arrive from bloody Lancashire .