An old storey reprised.

note of hand All characters are entirely ficticious and my apologia of any fellowship or company name have inadvertently been used


My Lady 's extraction, the pantryman Tale.


I was idly cleaning some silverware. The sun was shining through the draftsmanship room windowpane. The lawns stretched away towards the lake with its island and folly while a gardener snipped ineffectually away at the lawn edges. It was an ordinary bicycle summers day.

Mr President Benjamin Harrison my Maker 's stock broker and adviser arrived just after luncheon, he asked no demanded to see my lady with the farthest urgency.

'' But sir, my lady is resting, '' I explained, knowing she was most likely with one Lieutenant Carruthers her late dalliance.

I went to seek her, I went upstairs to her room and knocked decorously, and then as one does I listened intently.

'' Oh yes, '' she was gasping, `` Oh that 's sooo full, do n't contain. ``

'' There 's soul knock, '' a man 's voice hissed.

'' Mr President Harrison wishes an audience my Lady, '' I explained through the closed door.

'' Then have him get into a funny wig and appear at the Adelphi ! '' the man joked.

'' Johnny Reb, '' my lady whispered, `` Look its Gerald 's banker, I had better go, '' and she shouted `` Just a here and now ! ''

Amazingly quickly my gentlewoman appeared at the door, a visual sense of golden curlicue and vermillion chiffon, spoiled only by smeared lip rouge.

'' My Lady, '' I explained, `` Your lip spliff ? ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` Do n't be so damned impertinent ! '' but she still looked in the mirror and repaired the damage with a napkin.

'' Good chap, mums the discussion ? '' Carruthers said as he followed her from the elbow room while smoothing his cricket jersey down and taking his billfold from his clean cricket pant he tucked a ten shilling musical note in my top sac, `` See myself out, gage way. '' and he slipped away, the very epitome of a lounge lounge lizard, or should that be mill about snake.

I left him to his deceit and dissimulation, no doubt the regiment thought he was elsewhere, perhaps he was at cricket and had himself bowled out to spare half an 60 minutes for cuckolding but perhaps his enormous ego would not allow him to appear less than a back breaker at the crease but he was certainly most wretched of my lady 's affections.

My noblewoman swept downstairs, `` Mister Harrison, what a pleasant surprisal ! '' she simpered.

'' I fear not Lady Saltcoats, '' he said, `` Can we utter privately ? ``

'' The work is available my lady, '' I suggested.

'' He means bugger off Holdford ! '' my lady hissed.

'' Alford my lady, '' I corrected, `` Certainly my lady. ``

'' Go on then ! '' she hissed and she ushered me away.

I went to the kitchen, I sat on my stool, Mrs Bridge the Cook stood at the sink, `` Trouble Mr Alford ? '' she asked.

I looked at her, overweight breasted, round shouldered and old before her time, `` None of our business Mrs bridgework, '' I said using the courtesy deed of conveyance of Mrs despite the fact she had never married and was likely a virgin, with picayune prospect of losing that distinction.

'' If you say so sir ! '' she said sarcastically.

I let it go and then suddenly my lady shouted `` No ! ``

I stood and rushed to the study and flung the threshold wide of the mark. My noblewoman was aghast, but stood yards from William Henry Harrison, `` No, it can not be so ! '' she cried.

'' What have you done sir ? '' I demanded, `` My ma'am is overwrought ! ``

'' Not I, '' he said, `` I accept no blame. ``

'' For what ? '' I asked.

'' lord Saltcoats has been declared bankrupt, '' William Henry Harrison explained, `` Receivers have been appointed, my lord has seven calendar mean solar day to vacate these assumption, meanwhile all cant report are suspend. ``

'' What do you mean ? '' I demanded.

'' household accounts, all that sort of thing, '' he explained, `` It 's the line of descent market place, and reinsurance, gamy finance, you would n't understand. ``

I should have hit him for his insult, but how was he to love my genuine case ? Instead I congratulated myself on blending so subtly into the framework of the commonwealth house.

'' There will be some residue surely, the British capital residence ? '' I asked.

'' Mortgaged, '' he said, `` And remortgaged, liability vastly exceed the asset. ``

'' Then why let this happen ! '' I queried.

'' None of your business, '' he said, `` But I had no idea, none at all, I merely grapple his lordship 's investiture portfolio, of row we made heavy losses, but no more than anyone else, to a lesser extent than many, it 's not my fault he started meddling in insurance, none at all ! ``

'' What does it mean, where will we go ! '' my gentlewoman demanded.

The telephone rang, in an reflex reflex I went to the entrance hall to reply it.

'' Rainsford House, nobleman Saltcoats residence, '' I answered automatically.

'' Alford, is that Alford ? '' soul demanded.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed.

'' right wing look its Ted Griggs here, '' he said, `` His lordship 's Jack London chauffeur, I got some bad word. ''

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' Look tell Mrs Bridges that Lord Saltcoats, has disappeared, '' he said.

'' Disappeared, no he 's gone ruin. '' I said.

'' Well I dropped him off at Victoria around ten o'clock this sunrise and they said to go home when I got back, I reckon he legged it to French Republic on the Flesh de lady of pleasure, '' he meant the Golden pointer train, `` What do you intend bankrupt ? '' he demanded, `` Oh damn, I ai n't got no more centime tell Mrs Bridges, '' he said after the telephone pinged and suddenly it went dead Brrrrrrr.

'' It seems his lordship has left left us, '' I said as I returned.

'' Only enough matter, '' Harrison agreed, `` Gun or noose ? ``

'' The railroad train ferry to Anatole France ! '' I corrected.

'' Oh the totality shit ! '' my lady cried.

'' Indeed my Lady, '' I agreed and I slipped away.

Generally common soldier use of his lordship 's telephone set was grounds for New York minute dismissal but I no longer cared, and throwing caution to the wind I booked a call to my depository financial institution in Liverpool where they were keeping my `` mob Silver, '' in their guard deposit.

'' Alford ! '' my lady protested when she saw me at the telephone when I should have shown Mr Sir Rex Harrison out, but I ignored her.

She flew at me afterwards, `` How dare you ! '' she said, `` gather your things you are dismissed forthwith ! ``

'' And how shall you pay me what you owe ? '' I demanded, `` You can not. ``

'' I can send away you with nothing ! '' she said, `` No payment, no denotation, no quality ! ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried, `` Well perhaps you can pay me. ``

'' No ! choose your things and go ! '' she said.

'' Perhaps you could pay me the way you pay Lieutenant Carruthers and a few more I might mention ! '' I suggested.

'' No, Brassica napus ! '' she wailed and she rushed towards her room.

I followed, I caught her at the room access and pushed her inside pausing only to go off the door.

'' No ! '' she said, `` Well at least let me undo the hooks, this toll an absolute fortune. ``
'' Of track, '' I said, `` Allow me. ``

She sat on the bed as I unfastened her dress, `` Be careful, '' she pleaded and then she stood and it fell around her feet.

Her well rounded breast bulged over her red stays, her red pants enclosed by the suspender strap, and she stood up and laid the attire carefully on the dresser.

'' That 's well, '' she said and she screamed, `` violation, '' again several times.

'' Ot would come along the US horse is otherwise engaged my noblewoman, '' I observed as I removed my highly polished blackened brake shoe to reveal well worn Black person wind sock with protruding big toes, which I hurriedly removed, `` Does police lieutenant Carruthers withdraw his shirt and under shirt ma'am ? '' I asked.

'' No, though it is none of your business, '' she declared, `` Rape ! '' she shouted again.

I removed my jacket and shirt front, slipped the composition board dog collar off and removed my undershirt.

'' in force lord, '' she gulped, `` Alford, '' and then I unbuttoned my rainfly and removed trousers and underpants in a single motion.

'' God, you are please to see me are n't you ! '' she exclaimed as she gazed at my manhood as it strained, `` Right, '' she said as she snapped her brace away from her stockings and pushed her knickers down before kicking them off her feet.

'' Rape, '' she shouted again and then, `` Oh well, you wo n't offend me will you, and there are some Johnny 's in the dressing table.

'' They spoil the here and now my lady, '' I explained, `` I shall mount you as the undecomposed Lord intended. ``

It was nearly a week since my last Night off, spent with two buxom tart in the Ithiel Town a tedious ten prospicient Roman mile away by bicycle, and my need was groovy, and her protests were little but tokens.

'' Do n't injure me, '' she asked again as I gripped her waist as I planted my knees firmly between hers and blindly aimed my humanity at her.

'' Hey, '' she said, `` Not there, let me, '' and she guided my straining manhood between her unseen slit backtalk and took me to heaven.

'' Do something then, '' she insisted.

'' What ? '' I asked as I luxuriated in the feel of her moist cunt gripping me.

'' I do n't bang, but it 's not very exciting for me. '' she declared.

I thrust against her, `` Better ? '' I asked.

'' Much ! '' she said, `` And again, that 's better, '' she said, `` Oh you 're so big, '' she said, `` Fuck me, you 're going to prison house for this so enjoy yourself ! ``

I started to think of her as a harlot, a beautiful golden haired high class whore, and then I remembered the smeared lipstick and I determined to try her sass as well and I dipped my backtalk to caress hers.

Her lingua emerged instantly, running around my dentition, my brain exploded and so did my rooster saccade and pumping and flooding her parts, and as our mouths parted she was gasping and muttering, `` Oh my god, '' she said and then we stilled.

'' Alford, '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``,

'' What ? '' I asked.

'' If we 're bankrupt '' she said, `` What are we going to do ? ``

'' What is this `` We'suddenly ? '' I asked.

'' Well, what is it to be Alford, colza or 'we', '' she asked quite reasonably.

'' We, '' I said, `` My peeress. ``

`` I expect Gerald has, '' she said quietly, `` He wo n't face ruining, he knows I only want his money, I never loved him. ``

'' And the dashing police lieutenant ? '' I enquired.

'' He makes me feel good, '' she said, `` But then to be dependable, so do you. ''

She stretched, `` So what is it to be, a nice cold electric cell or me ? ``

'' What a choice, may I have a moment to think my lady ? '' I asked.

'' Get dressed, we have appearance to wield, '' she insisted and she went to dress again.

I too dressed and made my way downstairs, there was a hubbub of voices in the kitchen, I went in, `` Mr Alford, or is it My Maker. '' Binks the pass gardener challenged.

'' Mr Binks, '' I replied, `` What troubles you ? ``

'' You and her ladyship, '' he said.

'' She 's finished, '' I said, `` We 're finished, his Lordship 's insolvent, the bailiffs are coming so I 'm leaving. ``

'' And ladyship, '' Mrs Bridges asked.

'' Do n't ask me, '' I insisted.

'' She 's leaving with Mr Alford, '' her ladyship said as she came to remain firm behind me, `` Tonight. ``

I had no intention of leaving so soon yet there was little degree in remaining, `` We need to talk, '' I explained.

'' We 'll get a hotel room, '' she suggested, `` Do you labour ? ``

'' Yes, '' I agreed.

'' Then we 'll take the Rolls, '' she insisted, `` The shooting brake ! ``

We left that Same evening, her luggage stowed in every surplus blank it that Brobdingnagian crudely overbodied travesty of a luxury car so to the full that she had to sit beside me, and we made our way north.

'' What will you do ? '' I asked.

'' What do you suggest ? '' she replied.

'' fountainhead I doubt cooking or cleaning is to your taste, '' I suggested, `` Whore, prostitute, courtesan ? ``

'' Yes, '' she agreed, `` I have some money, perhaps we could get a room ? ``

'' Perhaps, but for now, '' I suggested, `` Lady Alford and her Chauffeur ? ``

'' reprint beds ? '' she asked, `` I 'll bid you Alan ! ``

'' One for sleeping and one for study ! '' I joked.

I could n't trust her, I never really intended for her to become a lady of pleasure but could not risk telling her the truth, maybe I should sustain, but I didn't.

You see three long time before my father had made arrangements for me to work in the United DoS of America, to ascertain about the American system of banking which seemed so greatly superordinate to ours, and while there the neat crash of 1929 erupted through the whole economic system.
I was working at a spiritualist size of it city depository financial institution as a sort of assistant manager, and I was right there when the run came, and when it came it all seemed to happen all at once.

ordinary people, regular folks waited in a tune right down the street and you did n't postulate to be a genius to act out we had not even a tenth of the money those multitude thought they had in their business relationship to pay them. We started paying out in the morning and by noon the vault was empty, except that is an innocuous cardboard box of big time value bills which somehow found their way in my footlocker, for safe keeping you understand.

Ted Robert Adam chief cashier and Jim McFadden the manager came down the bank dormitory all glum faced, `` Shut the doors Jim, '' McFadden said to the guard, `` We 're gone broke. ``

That triggered a skinny thigh-slapper, I slipped out the back way with my box and in all the confusedness I swapped my twenty dollar bill seven Buick for the janitor 's cycle and pelage and I rode off down the street on that bicycle with about a half million dollars in that cardboard box balanced on the hybridisation bar.

I went to the apartment I rented, told Mrs Rafferty the concierge I was leaving and I headed north Benjamin West towards New York City on the evening train.

So what do you do when you have half a million dollars of someone else 's Cash ? Why get a job of course.

Except the world and his crony was looking for a job, so I bought some piece of furniture, put my box in a counter, had it crated and arranged shipment to England on the RMS Mauretania and I sailed home 2nd class.
I had my crate put in storage and looked for a job, told dad I was still in the country, changed my name to Alford and forged some references and worked in Liverpool until I fancied some nation air and her ladyship took me on as Butler.

She knew my credit were forged, she thought she could terminate me any time and that would stay fresh me in melody and stop me telling her married man about her lovers.

But now I had half a million dollars to spend, without being noticed.

We found a squeamish petty flat, it was over a betting shop in the Harrow Road, the the three estates agent had 100 of empty properties, we could take our pick.

She had rescue, we pawned some of her jewellery, we painted the apartment, bought seam piece of furniture, I had my clobber from Liverpool sent over and we worked like a veridical team.

Then when we were all set up to open up I told her my plan, `` Look, '' I said one evening after a particularly long and gruelling seance in bed.

'' I know, Mister flopsy is tired, he needs a kiss, '' she said as she bent to snog my muted penis.

'' My lady, you do n't need to sleep with anyone, except me, '' I explained, '' I have about half a million dollar to launder, you just say an freaky American paid you in dollars. ``

'' But Alan, '' she said, `` We agreed, we did all the work, we were going to get a maid, start small, build up, two or three gentlemen a night to begin with. ``

'' We can just use it as a covering fire, '' I explained.

'' But you promised two or three men a day, '' she said angrily, `` You promised ! ``

'' But surely you do n't desire ? '' I asked.

'' And you do n't seriously think you satisfy me do you ? '' she asked, `` With Mr Floppy always needing a suck to kick start him, for heavens sake ! ``

'' You want to be a whore ? '' I said incredulously.

'' Yes with you there to protect me, '' she said, `` I expect I could do a gentleman in forty minutes and a handmaid in ten. ``

'' At the Same clip ? '' I queried, `` One up the indorse passage ? ``

'' Possibly, '' she said, `` But you did the sums, even with a few Clarence Day a month when we need a stand in we will pull in a killing ! ``

'' But what about us ? '' I asked.

'' Oh, you still get your tour, '' she said, `` But really, seriously, '' she said, `` I need more. ``

We heard nothing of Lord Saltcoats and so it was that we opened `` The gentlewoman 's Boudoir '' one evening in September 1932.

The figure was stencilled on the door beside the betting shop an inside the door we had a stall where the receptionist Lillia sat guarding the bottom of the stairs and then I would greet the gentleman's gentleman, take their hats and boxing glove and stand in attending in typeface they needed assistance with dressing and always maintain prudence and moderation.

It sickened me, every day she lay in bed from mid morning till after midnight while a succession of men used her, `` Good day sir may I hire your hat ? '' I would ask and get a contemptuous glare in return as baseball mitt were thrown in the hat and the hat handed to me.

We reached agreement for the betting store to be our waiting room, every day there was my lady, answering to any epithet under the sun, play acting the sweet heart, legs astride, cunt glistening. teat distended, bathed in sweat like as not and then dragging some half naked gentleman's gentleman subtraction pant and underpants but like as not retaining socks and air-sleeve gallus to her as she grasped his rearing penis to aim it within her or suck up it to life or closing.

Hairy asses bobbling as they pounded her, time after time, week after calendar week, calendar month after month until every ounce of compassion I had for her was ground to nothing by the friction of crotch upon crotch.

I rented a home for us in Middlesborough terrace so we could get away from her work, but she was always too sap so I had the other sleeping accommodation converted to another workplace room, bare base and a elementary mattress.

They paid extra for the simple mattress, the more soiled it got the better they liked it because it stopped being valet de chambre and instead it was anyone who won a bet on the horses.

They all wanted to have it away a all right Lady on a soiled mattress.

'' Maybe you would favor standing against a wall in the ginnel ? '' I asked in a import of reckless sarcasm.

'' And how practically extra would that be ? '' the chap asked quite seriously.

'' Double, '' I said flippantly.

'' Then I 'll take in that ! '' he agreed.

She used the court, the ginnel was too populace and she wore a pair of cogs and a servants smock, sometimes we had three men waiting while a fourth fucked her standing against the wall.

Sometimes Lillia pretended to be the peeress, if she remembered to celebrate her mouth shut, when not clamped around a customer 's penis that is, she was fine, except it made too much work for me keeping an eye on two cocotte, taking money and everything.

One night a Irishman asked me to fuck him up the ass while he fucked Lillia. I declined, but it gave me an theme, `` So where do you get you 're ass fucked ? '' I asked.

He told me, I out an advert in the window and got ten interrogation in two hours.

I gave Harry the job, he liked zip better than wearing a skirt with nix under it, usually he wore a kilt but his geordie accent betrayed him and he relished the thought of ramming his meat up gentleman's gentleman 's backsides while they shafted our whores.

He seemed entirely subject so I left him to it, and gradually did less and less time at the Boudoir and he became more or less the manager while I planned my next move.

I went to London and became delayed with my affairs and came north again to check on my lady.

She was not there, `` man want variety sir, I got some new girls in, '' Harry explained.

'' But she was the whole understanding ! '' I pleaded, `` Where is she ? ``

'' Blowed if I know sir, '' he said, `` I just thought she were a whore, sir. I never thought she was your special whore. ``

I went out to seek her, I asked around until I heard of someone support in a hut by the railway line and earning a crust from collection plate layers and the like.

I had to find her and bought a bowler hat and gaberdine coat like a railroad track official and marched down to the rails yards.

There was no sign of her, but then a prosperous stroke, `` You going for a jar Tam ? '' individual asked a driver as his shifting ended.

'' Och so I will, after I poke the lady, '' was his reply.

I followed, he went to the engineman 's barracks, where the tenacious distance men lodged before returning home, and there I found her nude but for a coat open at the front end sitting on an engine man 's locker hearing to the tales of engines.

'' Enginemen only sir, '' the assistant said politely but firmly.

'' I came to see her, '' I said and pointed, `` How are you ? ``

'' Well, '' she said and she smiled, `` Were you worried ? '' she asked.

'' Yes, you were not at the star sign, '' I explained.

'' That Harry was beastly, '' she said, `` He wanted to burden more, but I just want sex. ``

'' And now ? '' I asked.

'' They are lovely, all these lonely men to comfort, '' she said, `` They make me finger wanted. ''

I looked at her, her blonde hair's-breadth seemed to be silvering, her struggle once like alabaster now weatherbeaten, `` I 'll keep an account for your money, you know where to find me, '' I explained, `` Oh Geoffrey turned up, '' I added, `` He 's working as a Gigolo in monte Carlo, maybe you two were made for each other after all. ``

'' Maybe, '' she admitted but the Scot had her in his coal dusted coat of arms and his contraband hands ran through her hair and his black brim brushed her deep red lips and it was more than I could take over to see.

I hid my snag and left her even as she gasped in approval as her scots fan took her to heaven once more .