The Upper Floof



I was minding my own business in my social club, on the pep pill floor you understand, the one reserved for gentlemen. I was relaxing after dinner, reading the evening newsprint. Whiling away the meter until supper, It was the class the Titanic sank, 1912.

Leather chairs and oak panels, the smell of tobacco heavy on the air, talk of the Kaiser and of impending war were rife around the tabular array as our stewardess catered to our every need.

Milly, molly, Moira, Melissa, Madonna, their figure all started with an M. They looked quite demure despite uniforms cut to insure their spell were always displayed. Neatly corseted waists with their tit upthrust yet bared and unrestrained. Tight shameful jackets with silver clitoris cut to slip under their pouting mammaries. The area below their waists entirely bare but for the tapes holding their stockings. Their cushy downy pubic region neatly trimmed or shaved.

Gold tit and Clitoris rings twinkled in the firelight. Pisces the Fishes net stocking with seam arrow straight set off sick elegant thighs and calves while their painted toe nails peeped from elegant high heeled horseshoe. Neat lilliputian rabbits tails attached to fiddling plugs pressed firmly up their loaded bottoms and all set off by jaunty little hat with necklaces pack and earrings dripping with jewels. And all ready to perform each and any serving we may require.

The flotsam and jetsom of the gutters attired like princesses.

Their services were provided all inclusive to the membership of the upper floor of the club. back talk, back passage and womb alike available to any member's member and all bar mouth uncommitted to a extremity finger or tongue though of course shows of affection such as kissing upon the lip were not allowed

They worked in relay race, obviously Milly mollie et al were not their real name, but we no more cared who they were than they cared who we were. A hunched finger, a gesture and they would saunter across and if indicated would range us and simply sink down upon our appendage. Or nurse a wilted snake to rigidness, or bring an ice cold beer or liqueuras our whim dictated..

Sometimes they got it wrong, one senior valet admitting,"Ye idol I only wanted a whiskey,"as Malia extracted his member from his fly and began to suck.

But enough background detail, back to this most particular evening.


"Oldbury, where are you ?"one of my buddy asked.

"Here ? Why ?"I replied.

"indigence another damned fool to play lineup,"he said drunkenly.

"At your service,"I agreed and taking my whiskey I dutifully went across and sat at the table.

The plot was poker, Club convention, Aces High.

Millie the croupier smiled, as she waited to manage the add-in. Her left quarter round rested within the folds of her quim pleasuring herself as all the girls were instructed to do while idling. Her publicise breasts with halcyon rings swung alluringly to and fro as she rocked gently to her own round as she quietly drifted into a world of her own as she frigged herself towards orgasm.

"teddy bear's in a place of bother,"Simmonds gloated.

"Bet his damned sign and lost !"Jimmy Carter laughed.

"And ?"I enquired.

"I don't need a damned house,"Clearwater sighed,"Bit of a sodomite really."

"So lets us get this heterosexual, you won Teddy's house and don't want it ?"I queried.

"Absolutely, rotting pile,"he agreed.

"So devote it back,"I suggested.

"Not that tardily old chum, social club rules."Simmonds pointed out,"motive outside histrion to win it then shift can win it back do you see ?"

"You're a blooming soft touch slip,"I said, as looked at the broken plate of a man that fifty class of groundlessness drinking and play had created."bargain me in."

Teddy, 4th Earl of Latchmere, Lord GlenAvon and several other titles was various social classes above my lowly station yet many 1000 of guineas poorer.

I may have been brought up as the topical anesthetic minister of religion's son but t'was well known I was the Lord of the manor's bastard and had his craftiness and business insightfulness. As well as a gift for cards.

I looked at my cards.

"I'll bet two shilling,"Clearwater said throwing Teddy's note for the planetary house on the table.

"I'll raise all in,"I said and Clearwater folded.

I took the note.

"Thank God !"Teddy sighed.

"Not so fast,"I insisted,"I fear you need to learn a lesson, what collateral shall you offer up ?"

chemise looked aghast,"I have none."

"trine unmarried girl,"Simmonds laughed.

"Very well offer one as your post,"I insisted.

"trade good god man, don't be an oaf,"Teddy snapped.

"well sir I am a shit by birth, though hardly an oaf,"I suggested,"Which child shall you offer ?"

"Oh very well Hilary my youngest."he agreed reluctantly and somewhat drunkenly.

"The one maudlin who never smiles,"Clearwater enquired.

"Maybe old Oldbury here will be intimate a smile into her !"Simmonds laughed.

"Hardly, I shall trade to Madame to defray my disbursal,"I explained.

"play my daughter into a whore. Never !"shift protested.

"well I shall allow ten days to vacate the house."I offered.

"Now don't be precipitous, Oldbury,"Clearwater interjected,"Don't be an oaf just fold."

"No chemise needs a example,"I insisted,"I'll commutation my business firm for the girl whom I shall deal to madame as a whore."

"Done !"grinned slip,"Never has a man made such a poor bargain !"

I went back to my chair a job well done and a lesson learned.

Clearwater sought me out,"teddy bear rigged you,"he confided,"That girl, Hilary, have you met her ? She came out, what, two years ago, not so much as a terpsichore let alone a dallience, tis said she sips at the spring of Lesvos, and I truly believe far from paying for her magical spell you would sustain to pay any self respecting crevice to fuck her,"

"I just wanted to teach the old tomfool a object lesson, '' I explained,"If this so called girl is indeed nineteen summers gone then I'll just let the matter quietly drop, have a few Whiskeys and forget it. ``

But I had not reckoned with the redoubtable Miss Hilary.

She came to my house at noonday, I was still in my pyjama working at my desk.

Mary my maidservant came to search me,"There's some fair sex downstairs who reckons she's your whore."

"What ?"I demanded.

"Hilary something or other."Mary suggested and the aforesaid Hilary burst upon us.

"Father says he sold me to you as your plaything,"she insisted as she stormed into the room.

I stared, she was as far from a whore as one could reasonably get in a female. I would swear she was fresh from forking the dung from the horse stalls. Her hair's-breadth was a mess where it spewed out from her riding hat, her clothes a filthy brown coat and skin tight riding britches. Her boldness screwed with choler and hatred.

"No,"I corrected her."As a woman of the street, a chattel to be used and abused by any as desires it for a modest fee,"

"What !"she snapped.

"A whore to be available to any gentleman who desires her,"I insisted."That was our understanding. Though desirous gentlemen may be scarce as your endorsement would scare off a unharmed tribe of Zulus let alone a shy cultured gentleman."

"Ha, so no more than of this nonsense,"she snorted,"I submit to no man."

"Submit to none indeed,"I surmised,"I would suggest that on the contrary you are in urgent, nay immediate need of a phone pronging."

"Well sir it shall not be from you."she snapped.

"ma'am a 1000 guineas would not induce me to prong you,"I said flippantly.

"trade good, we are agreed,"she agreed.

"So I shall have to pay some guttersnipe or urchin to do the title in my stead, more expense,"I said shaking my head in resignation.

She went to shine me. I caught her radiocarpal joint an in no more from her raking my face with her long smutty finger nails.

She stank of horses, a strangely earthy smell which raised inquiry in my loins.

"You madam need taming,"I insisted.

"Well it shall not be by you !"she snapped indignantly.

I thought a moment before I replied."Disrobe this instant or tell your Padre to vacate my home forthwith."

"No you can not !"she replied in horror.

"Submit or the agreement is void !"I challenged.

She stared at me. She shuddered as she realised my resolve.

"Very well,"she said icily and she slipped off her wakeless coat.

I hung it on the back of a death chair for her as she tentatively undid one of the button on her bodice, than a second.

Her digit trembled, with veneration or anger I knew or cared not. The buttons parted and the bodice swelled. Clearly her mound were much constricted. It caught my care. My fellow member stirred again.

"Quite delightful allow me,"I said softly as I helped to free her pile and cupped them in my hands,"It must be such a relief for them to escape their bonds."

"No !"she said wide eyed but I knew in that wink that she was ripe for the taking. Her tit stiffened and extended.

"cyprian's mounds are ever freed, shall you like that ?"I asked.

"No !"she snapped though her resolve was uncertain.

"Swinging as dislodge as the fowl. And their snatch, open at all metre or plugged with thumb or dildo,"I said in a hoarse menacing whisper."Available to all."

"Do not dally with me !"she said.

Virgin Mary my maid looked on disapprovingly, she was no beauty, well past child presence age but she had a pleasant enough ass to love when goose egg else was offered.

"Shears Madonna, let us skin the rabbit."Virgin Mary obediently fetched the expectant scissors or small-scale shears from the drawer in the side table.

I made an incision into the leging half way up Hilary's thigh and started to cut away the natural covering. She near froze in fear. A bingle cut up one leg round the genital organ and down the other. Then a single curving cut upwards towards the waist and back down revealing her underwear as the pother of fabric fell away.
trinity Sir Thomas More snippet from the razor shrill steel and the underthings came away and revealed a pile of hirsute moist curls and beneath a hairy moistened cunt. My member showed a distinct interest and he uncurled uncomfortably within the constriction of me breeches.

"Do you know I think I will lie with you after all."I declared."Blessed Virgin loosen my rap and down in the mouth my breeches if you please."

Blessed Virgin reluctantly lowered my rear of tube and underthings allowing my member to stiffen and clean up as I pushed Hilary against the table.

"Guide my member in Madonna if you please."I requested.

"It ent fair, she don't want none and gets fucked and I wants it and don't get none,"The Virgin muttered as she obediently guided my tighten up member towards Hilary's pouting quim.

"Later,"I suggested as my member gently parted Hilary's pouting snatch lips.

"No !"she said but he body said"Yes yes yes,"such was her need for cock and peter juice.

I felt no opposition from her hymen, but there were streaks of red afterward so I presume she had been virgo intacta and I enjoyed a distinctly average gallop though at an unexpected prison term of day, finishing with a flourish or at to the lowest degree nine good spirt of fair low born cock juice in her aristocratic vagina.

"Mary for gods sake bathe this urchin before we take her to Madame."I ordered as I withdrew.

"What about my portion ?"she protested.

"I am afraid you will have to use the rolling pin,"I suggested,"But this time wash it before rolling out the pastry."

She blushed crimson,"Very well sir."she agreed.

"Or perhaps you could feature this woman of the street learn how to use her fist ?"I suggested with a wink.

Hilary jerked back to reality, her soundbox may sustain swum with excitement but now she faced reality, instead of passion she had been fucked as a flip time. I had no more desire for her to drop my offspring than I had to trip the light fantastic the Viennese walk-in stark naked at the gates to Buckingham palace while they changed the guard. I had used her no more. And she had used me.

"Go, get washed,"I said,"I have work to do."

I found Hilary and Mary an hour or so later. The tin bathing tub was upended on the kitchen floor.
Bathwater spread head across the trading floor towards the drain. Hilary lay naked on the flagstones as she suckled Madonna's massive tit and rhythmically pressed her fist into Marys voluminous cunt. Blessed Virgin only ever wore a simple-minded gabardine and she too was near naked as her duster was largely around her neck.

"I shall combust these shred,"I said as I scooped up Hilary's wearing apparel, but she and Virgin Mary were too absorbed with each other to notice.

Brabbinger my Ostler coughed. He had been watching from the shadows."The Whitney Moore Young Jr. Lady's knight sir ?"he queried.

"She's no peeress, she's a base whore,"I replied as I watched Hilary pleasuring Mary,"Shall you take a pigeon berry ?"

"No thank you kindly sir,"he said diffidently."I got my superbia sir."

"Well I just poked her,"I said,"Divine knows why."

"Wiles they has sir, reels you in like,"he says,"Me I likes horses."

Images raced through my mind,"Quite so."I agreed,"feed and water the horse would you, no send word of honor to my club, have a uniform sent and a allayer, take the prostitute's horse."I laughed at my own relapse into poesy,"whore's buck"indeed.

There is only a finite fourth dimension one can watch women pleasuring each other especially unattractive one, so after no Thomas More than seven mo, twelve at the out of doors, I went about my business.

Brabbinger returned within the half hour with Miss Thomas Middleton, one of Madame's vanity, a weasel faced flat chested beldam of around thirty five summers and XXX thousand men, a street whore with nimble finger an eye for knockout and a talent for fitting stays, stockings shoe and hind end stopper as well as the artists touch which with rouge and powder turns the muffled scullery maid or fatty cook into an object of desire.

"Oh my lord, you want a miracle worker and thats a fact,"Middleton said as she saw Hilary embraced in The Virgin's well muscled arms.

"LE of your insolence, bend over I wish to fuck you,"I averred.

"Not if you been fucking that you ent, I got my pride,"Middleton said icily.

She set down her bag and took out a tub of butter. Greasing her fingers and thumb she advanced upon Hilary even as she continued to pleasure The Virgin and grasped her firmly, one pollex pressed firmly up Hilary's back passage and the fingers into her quim.

"Ooh,"Hilary gasped.

"I reckon a two inch up her ass and a three up her quim,"Middleton opined as she withdrew her digit and wiped them on a fabric,"twenty dollar bill three column inch waist, its like making a silk wedding dress out of a pig bed ass,"she said sadly.

"Have some decorousness womanhood !"I snapped.

"Well you ain't no gentleman are you ?"she challenged.

I gave up and walked off.

An time of day later and Middleton sought me out,"I done me best,"she said.

Hilary appeared,"My god she looks almost human,"I agreed,"What say you Brabbinger ?"

My Ostler was lurking in the phantasma as always. Feasting his oculus on Hilary's now ringed clitoris and shaved pubes now framed by stocking mag tape and her reverberate teats now upthrust by a tight black corset.

"Don't brain if I do sir,"he said as he swept from the shadows.

He strode up to the lady friend and raised his smock revealing abruptly fat hairy leg and a foresightful fat hairy prong, I'll wager there was Thomas More hairsbreadth on his balls than on a rabbi's chin.

I only wanted his agreement that she looked desirable butbhe obviously decided to misunderstand me and to try her charms instead.

He grasped her firmly and in a split second was Hilary pushed against the written report table and he sank his prong within her soft moist quim. His hairy ass bobbled up and down and in and out as he thrust his monster forcibly into her womb.

She barely protested. Her parts were aroused by the rings and the potions applied to her innards by Thomas Middleton's nimble fingers.

"Oh my lord !"she wailed,"I am in heaven !"

Now to be quite honest there is little as dis spiriting as finding one's handmaid has a prong unquestionably superior to one's own both in length and girth and get-up-and-go, and I turned on my heel and strode away after no more than ten moment at the outside.

The way he kneaded her breasts and crushed her lips with his rim was quite repulsive, while the way she raked his back with her nails was quite uncalled for and the grunt and protestation of love was such to make up me nauseous.

Finally as I departed he grunted like a pig and clearly shot his bolt.

"Well done !"Middleton shouted,"Bravo, who knows we may make Madame proud of you yet !"

I sat a while and returned to witness Hilary attired in a cloak. which hid her parts. I saw she walked awkwardly.

"Finished already ?"I asked Middleton.

"Yes sir, Got her holes plugged and everything."she replied.

"Show me."I insisted.

"No !"Hilary snapped,"You don't own me."

"display the gentleman,"Middleton insisted.

Hilary reluctantly raised the cloak showing a stout leather strap secured around her crotch which clearly held quim and anal hype in place.

"Open her up I wish to taste her,"I ordered.

"Not now after I perfumed and plugged her and everything,"Middleton argued."You had every opportunity sir and if you desire you can have it off her to your hearts content this eve but for now I must redeem her to Madame before my particular gentleman arrives."

"Special gentleman's gentleman ?"I queried.

"Has me piss on him,"she said proudly, and seeing my discomfiture she added"well you did ask."

"Oh be gone,"I sighed.

I followed along to the Club later, after fending off cook'suggestions that her ass was as miserly as anyone's twat, something demonstrably untrue, and by dinner clip I was gorging myself on salt pork and onions washed down by some of the finest wines from the Antipodes.

Hilary was nowhere to be seen when I arrived. It seemed she had become something of a celebrity and every gentleman seemingly had designing on poking her quim.

I decided they could get on with it and settled down to eat my fill.

However seeing Lord Glenavon, Hilary's father arrive rather the worse for swallow gave me an wickedness feeling which I proceeded to put in train.

"teddy won't you join me ?"I asked as he staggered by,"Need a third for a three, new whore want breaking in don't cha know."


"What ho, yes rather, three way eh, top hole."he stammered out his usual string of cliches and sat down at my table. Milly molly or some such brought teddy bear a disc of pork and he began to guzzle on it greedily.

Hilary had seemingly metamorphosed into Melissa, a bright red orb gag now flilled her mouth, a sack sign of what we called a yeller. A whore who could not forestall herself vocalising her enjoyment.

I sought out Madame. I swiftly arranged to use Hilary/Melissa as soon as she became available.

slip was about to start on his apple pie when Madame brought Hilary over.

He barely showed any interest but ordered."Das Kapital, just straddle me doll and let me ease your quim while I eat my pud there's a dear."He unbuttoned his knickerbockers and extracted his rather woebegone tired and uninterested cock from therein.

It sprawled almost lifeless along his belly but it reared soon enough as Hilary straddled him and sank down until her soft pink quim rested gently upon his length.

It reared like an Amerindian language snake smoothie's serpent, a veritable python. Spearing upwards towards her entrails. It seemed quite bizarre. Teddy about to fuck his own daughter unknowingly.

He reached down and aimed his cock between the rim of her quim. She raised herself then sank down with a contented suspiration and a thin trickle from her egg gag. Then she began to hump greedily.

Teddy laughed,"Bally gamekeeper, spitting image of the sod, cuckolded d'ya see ?"He explained,"Never was me daughter, should have fucked her years ago."

I shook my head, I had been bamboozled again."Going to climb on ?"Teddy asked,"Take the tradesman's, three way and all that ?"

"Ah no, I just remembered I have to see old Graithwaite about some business concern,"I said as Hilary bounced up and down far too energetically on her supposed father's cock and I left them to their joyous union.

I cursed, far from teaching shift a object lesson I had learned one myself. I rued my disconcertion and made my way homeward.

Cook hounded me once more seeking a pronging which I was not in any mood to leave so I retired to my bed somewhat discomfited and slept only fitfully.

The morning brought further tribulations.

Hilary's oldest Sister. A weasel faced, wasp waisted old maid completely devoid of female appendages or so it seemed she arrived at some ungodly hour when no gentleman or gentlewoman should be abroad and demanded to see me.

Captain Cook relayed the information that she was downstairs. I looked at my lookout."Ye gods its only ten of the clock !"I protested.

"Shall I send her up sir ?"Cook asked,"Or shall you make out my ass first ?"

"No, I think I can manage without,"I answered,"I shall come down straightway."

"punter put thee britches on offset,"she laughed.

"No, damn it, I shall make out as I am,"I insisted and down I went in my nightshirt to recognize the woman.

"young lady Latchmere ?"I queried.

"Rip van winkle I presume ?"she replied as she saw I wore only my nightshirt and night hat.

"And what brings you here ?"I asked.

"My knight,"she replied sarcastically,"But to be good I wanted to see exactly what form of a fool my father has been conniving with."

"And have you seen ?"I asked.

"Oh yes,"she replied,"You surpass my worst expectations by some considerable margin."

"wealthy person you merely come to insult me or had you some former intent in mind ?"I asked.

"Actually,"she said,"I have, you humiliate my father, prostitute my sister and ruin my chances of making a respectable marriage."

"You certainly have a dullness of speech about you,"I admitted.

"And now having tricked me into your lair you ravish me,"she suggested.

"madam I should sooner fornicate with a farmyard sow,"I insisted.

"So I understand,"she said,"But I do believe the constable will think my fib when I scream and say how you tore my wearing apparel and sought to ravish me."

"Really ?"I queried as she tried in vain to deplumate her dress."Allow me."

I grasped the articulatio humeri of her frock and it ripped right down the battlefront, I ripped aside the ski binding of her pitcher's mound freeing them,"Remind me, did I ravish you or merely attempt to ?"

"I care not, bring in me an offer or I go to the magistrate !"she snapped

"twenty shillings for your honour !"I offered.

"I meant marriage,"she said,"honey god are you really this stupid ?"

"pudden-head yes desperate no,"I confirmed,"Though your teats are most alluring and are roused if I am not mistaken."

"You are mistaken,"she insisted.

"Your parts are not moistened then ?"I queried.

"No to a greater extent than yours,"she quipped.

I looked down. My member was pressing my nightshirt out like a tent pole.

"I have not had my morning, ah."I said awkwardly.

"He fucks me ass mostly,"Cook interjected.

"James Cook, '' I snapped"Go away !"

"Hilary said it was tiny,"Miss Latchmere observed,"But it looks grievous !"

I sighed,"Shut your rattle and lay for me, then you can render the magistrate your torn clothes and a safe creaming within your parts."

"Very well, where is the sleeping accommodation ?"she asked.

"Here on the floor !"I insisted.

"No, bed me, if you want me bed me properly !"she insisted.

"Oh very well,"I sighed in exasperation and I swept her off her ft and carried her upstairs.

How was I to know it was the most amorous gesture she had ever known ? The poor girl's quim was soaking with anticipation and in a moment as soon as had bared it my prong had found a new home.

Her tight virgin cunt gripped my extremity."Make passion to me !"she pleaded.

"This madam is merely a dewy-eyed piece of tail,"I explained as I started to bonk her,"Though I own a very agreeable one."

"Oh that makes me palpate so nice,"she said and she smiled.

"Really ?"I queried,"Usually cleaning lady ask if I have finished yet, or make some sarcastic remark."

"No, its really nice, oh my god, its really nice."she said as the walls of her virgin cunt instinctively began to milk my cock.

It was all too very much and suddenly a great torrent of seed pellet from my loins and flooded her entirely.

I lay until I was spent and my member shrank and them rolled onto my rachis."Do your pip,"I said and drifted into a content sleep.
"Take it in your hand like thus,"I heard Captain James Cook saying as someone gripped my shaft in their hand,"He ent much of a cocksman, one spurt wonder,"Cook opined,"Still a bit of a sucking will probably force out him."

"What's up ?"I said.

"Damned Constable thinks I'm my Sister and that I'm a fancy woman,"Miss Latchmere explained.

"So you are trying seduction ?"I queried.

"In a word, yes."she agreed.

"You are an ageing weasel faced apartment chested spinster, why should I take note of you ?"I asked.

She thought a present moment"Because my eldest boy small fry shall inherit begetter's rubric, should you not like your son to be the Earl Latchmere, the 5th business leader Latchmere ?"

"And ?"I queried.

She thought a moment."My baby is a tart and she can pass on all manner of whorish tricks to keep back you satisfied in the bed chamber."

"trade good pointedness,"I agreed,"On your back I wish to fuck you again."


To be continued.

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