ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a iniquity November night in Yorkshire. XIX Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Christ Within of Grisegarth signaling box on t'Greater London and North Eastern railroad could be seen for miles.

Passenger train come past tense, headed for Grimsby, engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railroad. Four big driving wheel as big as a man and four little 'uns out social movement. Over thirty year old, losing time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham goods. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were engine cleaner, but he's done examination for fireman and it were his first time out firing locomotive on hanker trip, He had been on shunting engines many times after having reached eighteen the age for working on locomotive footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were tall, too bloody fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 stratum loco, built by George Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a lowly trashy locomotive built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened gearing to 40 police van, 600 tons.

It were maximum load for J39 and Tommy had to put to work like a Dardan, shovelling coal trying to continue up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator one-half open and the valves in full gear mechanism to make Tommy sudor. He could have saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to breast box, all signals off and only two minutes down with urine bobbing in the bottom nut of calibre glass, Ted shut regulator and shouted for Tommy to put live steam injector on to meet boiler.

locomotive began to pick up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing denture for a brew.

"mountain of time for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to sodomise thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody Hades, bugger me, I mean not bugger me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate Driver's in cathexis and I'm Driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me tittup up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor zilch, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a doll let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an parliamentary procedure from thee device driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let weewee down and never looked out for signals, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a nasty bugger,"says Tommy as train picked up speed down depository financial institution,"But I ‘ ant no choice ‘ as I."

wellspring loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in drinking glass so Tommy opened fire doors to cool off.

"seed on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his smash and slipped his pant down.

Ted smirked"brace thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's bloody red hot !"Tommy protested.

"bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"knack on to bloody H2O liquid ecstasy instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankles gripping on to body of water scoop wheel while Ted eased hs span off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to unwrap a dead fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs cock at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen times when suddely wallop.

Teds tool pressed an in into Tommy's tight ass hole as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a fearsome crashing of busted Mrs. Henry Wood and metallic element railway locomotive reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock of his ass fix busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the attendant and busted Mrs. Henry Wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his bloomers back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were conk out snatch of stroller all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire room access lever to open ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the outdoors position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water bore lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox door lever and all the tegument burned off of his bum. Tommy felt ghastly and wanted to laugh at the same time.

"I go to signal box for rule 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of engine and headed for box.

Turned out express engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum bracken had stopped it and goods had run through five signals before hitting limited up the ass.

Ted were probably utter afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he residue of him roasted though his bang were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky lad,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'crash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is predominate 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine railroad man, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his ticker before some former bugger does."

"Tha's a callous sodomite,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put sign back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No bugger liked him, tight fisted fat slothful bastard,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too deep Tommy had door open.

poor people Tommy never seen a lad porter in a consistent crownwork and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting way at the station when he woke up. Stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a bang,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from recreation room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"Well go and assuage rider fire fighter, he banged his head, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid John Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to bugger I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till hunting lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no problem wi engine and Sid took him to lodge,"We usually shares double bed drier and reliever together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a tart,"he laughed.

poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to way. She were a widder, maybe forty twelvemonth old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a biff lad, I paid her for unhurt dark ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"feel why be a gooseberry, sod off and save our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the crinkle on her cardigan, her backtalk were comparable rubies, her middle were like, well centre, one were blue and the other weren't, her whisker was pure gold wi black-market roots, her thigh were summat else and her face, had all the right bits and well thee don't have to look at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"hi Dolly,"says Tommy.

"Comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay relief pitcher,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"good, I'm doing Hospitality degree,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got exams on week after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final term,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me shaft for coke job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no thing how big it is,"she admitted.

"belt up and enwrap thee laughing tackle round it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be rude,"dolly says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and Cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're shag useless,"she opined. poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go nursing home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to cover to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a right look out.

"I had problem wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley railway locomotive are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't sort of bloke to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a Irish bull on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"examiner replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any sod any clip soon, all hide burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all barren like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass muddle, fact is he got two ass muddle now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking surgeon at railroad line Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass golf hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new career in circus as the man we two seat !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two cocks ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"Inspector added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster oeuvre, he saw engine with motorbus connection on supply ship,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"Inspector told him.

As lick would have it Ted got septicemia and died, poor sodomite ‘ adn't no one, no kinfolk or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the union paid for funeral undertaker and for the practiced indorsement hired man coffin pawn factor had in blood line out of members subs.

Funeral day and four blokes took some screw and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when servicing started. Priest asked Tommy to say a few discussion, being as he was Ted's last-place mate.

"I couldn't stick Ted. Ted were an unworthy fat lazy sodomist, a bloody liar and a shit first mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ effort he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trousers down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A capital belly express mirth came from the half dozen or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amon, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a quiet word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be fair,"Vicar said,"But in twenty eld I never heard such an true eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slight mind what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its punter to give than receive.

And dolly ? She failed the exam and had to proceed to capital of the United Kingdom as they has lower standards for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .