varsity letter to a love. We all have had someone in our life that we'e truly loved, some of us still have them in our living, others, like me, have lost them.
To my pricey ravisher,

Well, it 's been three years since the in conclusion time I saw you. Three years since I 've heard your jest. Three years since I 've given you a hug. Three of the longest and most miserable class of my life.

There is n't a day that goes by that I do n't think about you, talk to you, even though you 're not physically there, I still talk to you and hope you can pick up me. Every time I close my middle, I see your smiling face. There are sentence I 'll be out, and swear I hear your laugh across the elbow room.

I 've been camping one, maybe two times since you left. It 's just not the same without you to pick on me around the fire. We have n't been out on the four wheeler either, I kinda young woman my skinny small passenger. I have n't been out fourwheeling either, that was supposed to be `` our day '' we had planned, that never happened.

The last three years, I 've more or less sort of existed. Sure, I 've tried to move on, find a new relationship, but, something always falls apart, or gets in the way. space, clip, personallity conflict, all have been factors in why zip works out. Try as I might, I ca n't get you out of my head, or my core. I 'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you .... `` I hope he lives a foresighted and healthy life, and every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, to cue him of the hellhole that he 's caused. '' confidence me peach, I do.

I 'm not sure whom she meant that phrasal idiom toward, but, I do know deep down, I 'm at least partially, if not wholy, responsible. Never once did I mean to smart, or neglect you, apparently, I failed miserably. I pay for my failure on a everyday, basis, and for hurting you, I 'm truly deplorable.

I 'm sorry that I let you down in so very many style. Not supporting, and caring enough. There were understanding behind it, some of which you knew, others, I 'm just learning myself. One of the heavy reasons was the fact that I truly did get laid you completely, but, could n't show it to you in the right ways, our circumstances prevented me showing you my love. I know, it 's no excuse, I should take found the way to do it properly, but, I was honestly scared. Scared that my situation would get unsound, but, more than scared that you would actually refuse my love, which would jam what lilliputian flavour I had. There was also a social facial expression sweetheart, the love I had, was n't socially acceptable, well, at least toward you people would frown. I wanted nix more than to pull you close, osculate you softly, and hold you as we walked through the mall or somewhere else. Knowing how society works, that could n't take place. I would have been seen as something horrible, nevermind the fact that there was a true recondite love in my heart

I 'm learning more every day, seeing thing now, that I missed then. The little thing, the smiles at just me, even when you were crying. The way your middle seemed to light up up. The time that you 'd want to spend time just the two of us. The random clinch, the occasional `` I love you '' when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in front of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the short signs you had given me that I would n't be rejected. But, sadly, it 's too tardily to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently.
I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to repent for the pain in the ass I caused. It 's my essence, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The speech are just words, i can say `` I 'm sorry '' a billion sentence a day, and it would n't defecate any dispute. No measure of `` I 'm dark '' can take you back, or take away the pain that I 've caused. The only `` I 'm sorry '' that really matters, is the one thick inside of my warmness, that I hope that you can finger, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I 'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.

My animation will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very prospicient time, but, I 'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the low gear steps into the life story that I will lead. That sprightliness started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be moments of cloud nine, and felicity scattered in there, but, forever will I remember what I caused. I truly am so very bad my sweet sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I 'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I 'm eternally grateful to you. Either way, I 'm glad, and proud to take shared in your aliveness for as long as I had, I just wish that I could have done better.
We ca n't change our past, only hope that our past does n't destroy our future. When I told you that I loved you, you may have thought differently than I did, I love loved you, where you may have seen it as a different eccentric of beloved, I 'm sorry for never telling, or showing you how I loved you. Who knows, if I had, maybe you 'd still be physically here instead of only having to hold on to your memory. I love you, and have loved you for a very hanker sentence, I just wish I had been smart enough to show you.


Lovingly,

Chris