We all think our first of all sexual encounter. Mine was over the Christmas pause my elderly year of high school. I had gotten money from my grandparents for Christmas. I called up a couple of young lady to see if they wanted to go to catch a movie. They weren't plate or not able to go. So, I called gull. He was more than eager to go. He was shorter than me with the unbowed whisker in the world, large brown eyes, and muscular body. I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I was a virgin and the most I had ever done in my spirit was buss a girl. I was 18 and had not even masturbated. Now it wasn't that I had not thought about sex and desired it. I talked about it. I wanted it. I just didn't know how to get it. I was a desirable guy too.

Now all the girls wrote in my yearbook"to the thinned boy ”. I was cute with light grim middle and sandy colored hair.

I had dated miss but had always question if I could be gay. More than once I had seen stain naked. And I always made sure to wait at his beautiful, big tool and Nice body. But I didn't want to be queer.

Now this was a time that the pip thing in the world you could be was gay if you were in school. It was a tag you did not want to own. To be considered a queer meant that your life in high School would be a sustenance hell. If a person was attracted to the Saami sex, you dare not state anyone.

For me, I was not sure what I was. Even though I wondered if I were gay, I dare not to talk to any one about it. It was a fear. What would pass to me if I were gay ? I kept my cerebration to myself.

Before this night, over a year before, crisscross had invited me to spend the dark at his planetary house after our first duo acting meet. We were assigned to be partners. We had progressed to the adjacent day with our in high spirits marks. It was former when we got to his house. We went up to his room. I asked how he slept, and he said nude. I said that I would too though I never had. We stripped off our clothes trying to face at each other quickly. He had a defined pectus with mass medium sizing nipples. His body was hairless except for the drab George H.W. Bush from which his large flaccid prick hung from. I did look a bit long but did not gaze. He saw my flat chest that was like a control panel down to my thick Dubya and big prick. Our cocks appeared to be the like size.

We climbed in bed and talked about being au naturel, sex and such. We both had never done anything. He claimed to experience walked naked holding a missy's paw, but he was lying. I at to the lowest degree had barely kissed a young woman. As neither of us had ever Gallic Kissed, I suggested that maybe we learn how to do it together as young lady do that so we would recognise what we were doing. He said no. I had wanted to kiss his back talk with mine and skid my tongue in his mouth and taste perception his. He was not taking my bait. I had to keep my cover. No one could know that I wanted to kiss a boy.

Soon he wanted to show me something in his privy that connected to his room. We headed off naked with me in front. I turned around to ask him something and there he stood inch from me. Our rig erect penises were touching. Mine was just on top of his. There we were naked looking down at our manhood together. Neither of us said anything-frozen in time. I took my hand and held our two putz together-mine on top of his. I wanted to fall to my knees and make love to his tool that was so make for a warm mouthpiece but was afraid. He had not responded positively to my hints. If I went down on him and he rebuked me and told, my life would be come a living hell. There was such a powerful impulse. I wanted it. My genu wanted to clasp and fall to the ground. Yet, I turned and went to the bathroom where zero happened.

I dropped hints wanting to have some"fun"together over the next months but nothing. He would never spend the dark at my planetary house nor go camping with me. I still had hope.

Then he invited me to drop the night again after another meet. He told his parents ( as he could not drive ) that they would not induce to hold him early on Saturday morning to schooltime. I would push back him. Now this time, thing were a bit dissimilar. He set the seam up so that I would cause to climb over him to get to my bed. Later it hit me, he wanted my naked body to grovel over him but did not project that out until too late.

His family was gone when we arrived. We went to his chamber and he stripped naked and jumped under the covers. I had a design. I did a comic strip coquette dance for him throwing my wearable off one piece at a time. I made it as erotic as I could. By the time I peeled off my underclothing my big, thickly 7-inch cock was swollen solid. It fool away upwards like a rocket that was blasting off to the stars. I danced around his room until I was a span of fundament from him when I began thrusting back and Forth causing my pig out cock to swing up to hit my belly button, back down and then back up to slap against my breadbasket. I did it again and again. My desire had been to stimulate him, then cringe on to his bed and sit my ass upon his groins. Then rub my ass impudence over his putz.

To my disappointment, he watched every motion but moved both of his manus over his dick so that I could not narrate if he were erect or not. My plan was dashed, but I did not chip in up. I crawled on to his bed with my hard dick and placed it an inch from his mouth and said,"daring you to go down on it."He didn't.

I crawled into my bed on the other side of meat of him. Soon I made excuse after excuse to crawl back over him with my naked body but nothing. Now he did suggest I do a couple of things which did necessitate me to choose my au naturel body over him which usually caused my dick to slide across his eubstance. That was it. I gave up on Mark. He was not interested it appeared. One did own to be careful.

By Christmas Day break, I had moved on. Still I hadn't had sex with anyone. Yet this night when he got into the car, things were dissimilar. He was talking about gay sex. He said that every guy tries it once. It was Mark trying to mark not me. After the movie, he brought it up again. I was getting hot and horny. Soon I accepted his offer, and now it was just trying to find a condom place to get naked.

Eventually we did. I asked if we should embark on out with foreplay. I wanted to buss him and finger my hands on his organic structure."No,"he said. He pulled his pants to his knees, then peeled his blank Jockey shorts down revealing his blockheaded 7-inch hardon. I was uncoerced to go first but afraid that after giving him a C job he would turn on me, perpetrate his drawers up, and call me a fag. I was nervous but wanted his shaft. I had never sucked hammer and never seen it done so I went forward with all the avidity of a beginner. It was so severely yet so very soft. There was no weird taste. I wanted to throw it near for him but didn't know how for certainly. My mouth bobbed up and down the recollective irradiation. I had read a book where a guy liked having his balls sucked so I moved to his orchis. They were tight against his physical structure, but I was able to get them into my sassing. As I tried to take back his balls, I wanted to stroke his penis with my helping hand but didn't because I thought that would be gay ( yes, I know that is strange-sucking a cock is gayer than stroking a putz, but it was fear ). I stopped after a few second and undid my jeans and pulled them down with my underclothing. Mark leaned over to suck my cock. I was most disappointed when I saw that he had put his pants back on. I had wanted to fiddle with his cute ass and cock as he took my virgin cock in his mouth.

Mark sucked me, but it was only pleasant. There was no pulsing from recondite inside me. It was just a nice feeling. I am a guy who has never jerked off in his life. The only intimate spillage I had ever had was nocturnal emissions. I was getting my first fumble job. You think that I would be fix to blow. I wasn't even close when he stopped. It really hadn't done anything for me. It made me think that maybe I wasn't gay.

We talked about shtup. He wanted to jazz. I asked him how he like the reversal job. He said that he loved it. He asked me, I told him that it was okay, and I didn't think that I was gay. I had put Mark in the position of admitting his poof status to me and I had rejected the badge. He was now vulnerable. If I revealed he liked gay sex, his lifespan would become a living Hell. I wouldn't and didn't do it. We went home.

Things were never the same for us after that. When school started again, he wouldn't speak to me. I wanted to be friends still. I wanted us to stay friends. I told him that after school, I wanted him to have it away me. I wanted to gift him my cherry tree. He would not hear of it. He walked away in anger. Our friendship was over.

Later that calendar week another guy wanted to stimulate sex with me, and I turned it down based on my experience with Mark. I soon had a girlfriend and lost my virginity. I thought that I must be straight.

Time went on and years later, I realized that I wasn't straight. I learned that I like coke Job, but they are not what makes me sprout my cargo. I need stimulation. For me lips and tongues playing together starts the fire. I love the smell of a man's soundbox. There is the delicious taste of a teat in my mouth. The wonderful feel of a hard dick. It is glorious to bury a tongue into a perfumed ass hole. Then there is that thrill of pounding a tight hole with my big dick and audience my man moan with delight and to have his trunk get down to twitch in ecstasy as I listen to the audio of my lump slapping against him with every thrust.

When I discovered the truth about myself, I went looking for Mark. I wanted to get him be my first. I could not feel him for the longest time.

Later I discovered some things about Mark. Before I knew him, his parents had caught him fooling around with another boy. He must have had the hell beat out of him by them. When I offered myself to him, he was terrified of what would happen to him if they found out. They were just downstairs. His parents were not going to take in a queer son. When he came out, they cut him off. I later realized that he wanted it as much as I did but was afraid. He wasn't allowed to sleep over at anyone else's theater because they were not going to let him let sex with another boy. The worst thing in those Day was being gay. We were both afraid and scared.

It was sad news once I tracked what had happened to fall guy. I was told that Mark died of tending. It broke my gist to hear he was gone. Now I have mixed feelings about what occurred between us. Part of me so wishes that we could have been fan. I have jacked off thousands of times to the thoughts of Mark and me having sex. Reliving our meeting and having them come in out different. Yet on the other hand, I am a live today because of it. If I had made it with print, I would have had many fan and fucked and been fucked by many of man just as AIDS was breaking. I firmly believe if I had become his devotee, I too would get eventually contracted AIDS that wiped out my generation of young gay men.

That said, I came to take in that Mark was my first love. We had a high shoal reunification and they had a wall with scene of those who had passed. When I came to the depiction of Mark, I stopped and looked realizing that he was my 1st real love. I miss him. I love him still .