Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody cogitate because I bloody verbalize as I bloody observe.

We had a bloody bad trip back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure enough me boldness were safe and went to see bloody factor first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a cocotte boudoir with furnishing to match. federal agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over refined bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"goodness day Captain, I am delighted to encounter you at finis,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the cheek,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you mean Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a shortsighted haired gorilla in a blackened frock with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"administration, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unknowledgeable Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of fuzz and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever beef eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a fucking fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking Leontyne Price,"the slimy illegitimate child said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped assail bank and paid it in promptly. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, damn steamship broke down on the way but at end I had some brass in depository financial institution and could come base instead of scratting round down Dixieland the States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour schoolmaster what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few min then I asked"Where's slave market place, I fancies a Nice plump freshly dark-brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody sin do I find a nice plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody favourable to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to get hitched with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, hazard bawd house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed unspoilt idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner card outside. and it were just after twelve noon so I thought I would have a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or rear end o computer menu so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and noon time was dejeuner. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up to me and asked me occupation,"looking at for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be stark mind."

He got faulty end of pin and suggested a brace of whore family.

"Nay I want a fair sex for keeps see, If I pay out a carnival bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts boulder clay I gets bloody blast and me cock guff off."

"You can't keep slave anymore, but there's a chap daily round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of sexual abstention swath,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got to a greater extent girl than you can agitate a control stick at, why not make him an whirl ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a shaving of fish and dip o wine that woudn't sustain a flaming church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a duo of daughter to unlade like ?"I says straight person out.

"And who the inferno are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no mansion puma I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob fellow was pissing they selves laughing at me,"flavour if its bloody organisation you want I'll pay top dollar bill, long as she's Virgo, two legs, two arms, couple of bloody tits, her own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mate, a simpering ass dressed like a right-hand ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your notice right."

"I ent playing no bloody carte du jour,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my firm directly and receive my daughter ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too knifelike but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His property needed a lick of rouge and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servant quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a invitee, Mr '' the blighter explained

"senior pilot Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me bloody idea. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll finger me bloody belt hybridizing thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly cunt,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offensive like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her kickshaw helping hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"chieftain Beckinthwaite wishes to court of justice one of our daughters good,"the cuss says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"gentlewoman Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all friends here,"master Mc pleaded as his grimace went a mortal whiten,"chieftain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, storm, bloody feed piss pump bloody spindle bloody secretor bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody piece of ass in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full-of-the-moon on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"brass section is in bloody minelaying that's what I reckon, gamy bloody clock time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughter ?"lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bally like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her comparable thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit crashing nail on't bloody headspring, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

peeress Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into living-room."daughter,"she says,"Come and play sea captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girlfriend were knockout, blond hair on her shoulder, dismal centre, square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my mo eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody roll in the hay,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Max Born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repugnant,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the elbow room,"Victoria,"lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Scheol, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a blooming hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling brass if it had n't been for her tits you 'd receive thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a blinking bloke or a all-fired daughter eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"goodness then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an mollymawk nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitor are a bit thin on bloody terra firma,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such affair,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quickly, respectable opportunity her were a bally virgin, if I blew bally candle out it wouldn't matter what her bally face looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me blinking end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody Virgo I ‘ ll fuck thee and and wed thee and I can't say middling than that."

"maitre d'hotel !"Jehovah Mc protested.

"fin hundred,"I offered,"greaseball, to take her off thi bloody custody and put a mob on her bloody finger, take it or impart it."

"We really postulate the money,"madam Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a damn wife lass, not just a bloody bawd to shag, person to look after me blooming house, James Cook, fairly look after bloody shaver, that sorting o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody tenderness, I just wants a all-fired roll in the hay, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solvent captain is no, never."She stormed away in a damn strop.

"Feisty part ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee cerebration I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's centre bulged as I showed a air pocket full of gold.

"shoot a glass of vino sea captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her tranquillise down a minute,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a squeamish Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to swim a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the young woman protest,"Stop it, hold back it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a evenhandedly bloody price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh refine oak story, money box I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two sleeping accommodation maiden and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her girdle and knee distance stockings, no breeches or goose egg but showing her privates and courteous creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her pegleg wide,"Take a tone Captain,"noblewoman Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you crashing tough, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But captain,"Lady Mc replied but the flicker of twinkle off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody melody,"leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to mangle me senior pilot ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret young girl, I never had to wedge a bloody wench to roll in the hay me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genital organ as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me finger gently up her thighs and then I started to part her bitch mouth with me finger's breadth. It weren't the first time. Her cunt was well used.

"aspect like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of action not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a fucking bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big literary pirate belt and let me trews spill,"Lets shout out it our minuscule bloody secret shall us ?

"Look sea captain,"she protested but me fingers were no bloody stranger to a wench's puss and wi me thumb on her small nub her boob were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing laboured

"Bloody fortnight wi out a nookie,"I explained,"Can't gestate me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck opening, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her teat and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the channel between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or blinking never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee damn look at me ?"I asked me knob straining like a all-fired mizzenmast mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody puss like an lynchpin up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. right field in till me glob were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell sizing bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being fucking love ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek face for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me damn load in thee its for all-fired life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me blooming load over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"50 wop,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody loading over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly sea captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot kindling up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your speculative Captain."

Me glob was bloody crinkling and me cock was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of N and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant maitre d'hotel,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me damn dick backbreaking I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may absorb my mamilla if it help commove youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to experience your manly bureau against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite word,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our rima oris met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me peter reared and before I knew it we was bloody shtup again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old fissure, extolment,"lord Mc chorted,"Let us deliver the appointment announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sodomist that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody marriage ceremony, no blinking pauperism to waste blinking brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you roll in the hay after we fucked a prison term or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lightness behind her. But at end of crashing day its what they fucks like what matter and she's bloody champion and no bloody misidentify even if she is from blooming Lancashire .