Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm sea captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody get hold.

We had a damn bad head trip back from America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me administration were good and went to see damn Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishing to pair. Agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy lawsuit. He sat behind this over milled bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"trade good day police chief, I am delighted to fill you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the organization,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you meant Brass,"his help chipped in. She was like a curt haired gorilla in a black clothes with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simpleton enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"boldness is an alloy of bull and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round camber and paid it in immediate. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a average few British pound sterling and went about me business.

XV bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in banking company and could amount home instead of scratting round down South U.S. way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven master what were a checkmate of mine, we had a chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave mart, I fancies a overnice plump fresh Brown University one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have striver in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I receive a dainty plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to witness one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk harlot star sign or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at nance Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a pungency to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make question or tail o card so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and high noon fourth dimension was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

handler derive up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to hook up with,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got incorrect end of marijuana cigarette and suggested a couplet of whore houses.

"Nay I want a womanhood for donjon see, If I pay out a bonnie bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for fancy woman money box I gets bloody bam and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a gent unit of ammunition Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that overlord wi his spinal column to us over there's got more girl than you can judder a stick at, why not make water him an fling ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his teammate over a paring of fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a blooming Christian church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughters to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the perdition are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to present me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's damn decorousness,"I says,"I ent no household Felis concolor I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob Paraguay tea was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar mark, long as she's Virgin, two legs, two weapon system, couple of bloody tits, her own tooth, audition and seeing would be a incentive but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George I,"one of his mates, a simpering buns dressed like a the right way pimp says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many blinking card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his spouse grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowery he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my planetary house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The blighter lived a Admiralty mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of paint and the butler's cap had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet, to the servants stern,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a invitee, Mr '' the gent explained

"police chief Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me fucking psyche. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me bally belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your amnesty,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly gripe,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to horn in thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No crime like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her dainty deal and one-half column inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite indirect request to court one of our girl dearest,"the chap says, I sort of guessed he was Creator McGonnegal, Almighty Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"gentlewoman Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all Quaker here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody eat weewee heart bloody arbor bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bally shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"ma'am Mc insisted.

"I had a flaming gut full on't it, blinking cargo ships lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody excavation that's what I reckon, high bloody clip to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more fucking like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bally Lordship'book binding 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

ma'am Mc knew when to proceed stum so she showed us into parlour."missy,"she says,"Come and adjoin Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulders, dismal eyes, square rigged clothes showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the handmaid, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second firstborn,"madam Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the little girl asked.

"Bloody productive and in motive of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another visual modality of lovliness followed into the room,"capital of Seychelles,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a all-fired kid wi a bloody holdover. Wi her short whisker and scowling face if it had n't been for her titmouse you 'd have thought she were a bloody lad

"Reet Francis, hedging your blooming stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a flaming bloke or a bloody lady friend eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an mollymawk cuddle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitor are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest group in such affair,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, skilful chance her were a bloody virgin, if I blew all-fired candle out it wouldn't thing what her bloody typeface looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a all-fired virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say reasonable than that."

"maitre d'hotel !"Lord Mc protested.

"cinque hundred,"I offered,"guinea, to fill her off thi bloody hands and put a tintinnabulation on her bloody finger, take it or go out it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a blooming wife young girl, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to face after me blinking house, Cook, clear looking at after bloody Thomas Kyd, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No guise of lovemaking or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, fucking warmheartedness, I just wants a bloody roll in the hay, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bally strop.

"Feisty bit ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee sentiment I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's oculus bulged as I showed a air hole replete of gold.

"Take a glass of wine-coloured Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down down a mo,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sorting Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the young lady protest,"Stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a bazaar all-fired Leontyne Price, what's awry wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail charge clattering on fresh polished oak floor, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maid and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a suddenly haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee length stockings, no knickers or cipher but showing her privates and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her wooden leg wide,"Take a look master,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, sod off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But senior pilot,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody strain,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me sea captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the doorway shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd vote down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a all-fired wench to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the sharpness of the bed and covered her genital organ as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't Greek key, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thigh and then I started to part her puss sassing with me fingerbreadth. It weren't the 1st time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of study not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"wellspring your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a crashing fella I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candela then has tha ? Like I caught me flaming sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you do it ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"let scream it our little bloody closed book shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me finger were no damn strangers to a wench's cunt and wi me thumb on her little nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavily

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to cease now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But headwaiter,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no effective ramming me tool at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her cervix, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her hill. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the vallecula between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her puss was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody call for me ?"I asked me knob straining like a blooming mizzen mast in me hand.

Her optic were the likes of disk, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody pommel end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an backbone up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her genital organ,"What the bloody hellhole size bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so fucking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the blinking screwing. Once I shot me blinking load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't breadbasket it say now and I'll shoot me bloody freight over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"L guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody incumbrance over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly skipper, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrict yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a Lucy in the sky with diamonds of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your big Captain."

Me formal was bloody crinkling and me cock was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for damn pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of N and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suck me bally peter firmly I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teat if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her knocker right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to find your manly chest of drawers against mine."

"You ent got a manly pectus,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our backtalk met, our tongue entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me turncock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. noble and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're consonant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, kudos,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the betrothal announced in Lancashire eve post.

"Bugger that I'm a crashing sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody spousal relationship, no bloody need to devastate bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed prescribed like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what topic and she's fucking champion and no bloody misidentify even if she is from bloody Lancashire .