Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the doze button on my alarm clock. He was so fag because he had been doing 30 hours a week at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home life. Add in school and the prep that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the fourth dimension he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his brother and Sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to brush his teeth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his female parent. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"trade good aurora"to her before leaving for school day. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so removed, there was no real connection left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his mother adios and then left with his Brother for school.

In the car, he and his Brother did n't talk much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Luke had very little in mutual these days. They had different acquaintance, Luke being more of a social butterfly ; different tastes in euphony, Jess listened to more heavy metal and rock, while Gospel of Luke was more into the pop music tantrum ; etc ... Once they got to school day, that was it. The car ride there was the most time they spent with each other in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their speech sound the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to schooling. gamy School had never been"as advertised"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a handful of supporter, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more down, his thought sometimes turning to suicide. domicile life was ... well it was n't a home anymore ...

"Good morning Mr. Knight ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his behind and started on the prep he did n't finish up end Nox. Math was a particularly backbreaking subject for Jess. He was just one bad rank away from failing the content for the semester, but at this full point that was the last thing on his psyche. Staring at the blank tabloid of paper in front of him, his mind started to wander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no felicity. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone care ? volition my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The Alexander Bell for the end of homeroom rang, jolting him back into consciousness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a single problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from school ( his brother was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activeness ), his ft to the floor and the radio receiver clamor. euphony had become Jess'only reprieve from his life and he was retreating into it to a greater extent and more, barely paying attention to anything else. Music made him feel potent, made him find like he had a reason to inhabit. It seemed that the words of the song on the radio spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him experience happy that someone, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his work uniform, he took a face at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, dark brown fuzz, galvanising dingy oculus, was about six groundwork marvellous, and had slim body. The individual staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The optic of the person in the mirror looked so desolate and discharge it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the lighter and headed to work.

At work that night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the customers, just wanting the night to end so that he could go home plate and slumber. sleep, the one thing and one meter of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't feel anything but heartsease. The following day was Sat and he did n't own to go to crop or school so he could sleep all through the night and well into the morning.

Opening the door to his house after work, Jess got a half-hearted"Hi"from his parents. The variety of"hi"that you say out of civility, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that night, and then went to his room. Turning on his computer, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a bunch of Spam, but then Jess saw the email. John Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the e-mail, then shut off his calculator and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small sense of hope.


unfavorable judgment welcome. Like I said, let me experience if I should continue .