Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. He was so tired because he had been doing xxx time of day a hebdomad at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home life history. Add in school and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the time he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his brother and sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to brush his teeth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"good morning"to her before leaving for schoolhouse. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so removed, there was no real number connection left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his mother good-by and then left with his crony for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't talk much. It was n't that they did n't like each other, but Jess and Luke had very piffling in common these days. They had different friends, St. Luke being more than of a sociable butterfly ; different gustation in music, Jess listened to more heavy metal and rock and roll, while Luke was more into the pop music scene ; etc ... Once they got to school, that was it. The car ride there was the most metre they spent with each other in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their earphone the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. High School had never been"as publicize"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a smattering of friends, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more depressed, his opinion sometimes turning to suicide. family living was ... well it was n't a home anymore ...

"goodness forenoon Mr. Knight ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his buttocks and started on the homework he did n't finish up terminal night. Math was a particularly hard subject for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject for the semester, but at this full stop that was the net thing on his mind. Staring at the blank canvass of newspaper in front of him, his judgment started to meander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no felicity. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone care ? will my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The buzzer for the end of home room rang, jolting him back into consciousness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a unity problem.

When the ship's bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from school ( his brother was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activities ), his animal foot to the flooring and the radiocommunication blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his living and he was retreating into it Sir Thomas More and more, barely paying attention to anything else. Music made him sense powerful, made him feel like he had a rationality to live. It seemed that the language of the song on the radio receiver spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him palpate happy that individual, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his elbow room. As he was changing into his oeuvre uniform, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, dark brown hair, electric blue air centre, was about six feet tall, and had slim body. The soul staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The center of the person in the mirror looked so bleak and empty it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the Light Within and headed to work.

At work that Night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the customers, just wanting the night to end so that he could go home and eternal sleep. sopor, the one affair and one prison term of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't palpate anything but peace. The next day was Saturday and he did n't hold to go to work or school so he could sleep all through the night and well into the morning.

Opening the door to his house after work, Jess got a half-hearted"Hi"from his parents. The variety of"hi"that you say out of politeness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that nighttime, and then went to his elbow room. Turning on his computer, he checked his email. As usual, it was just a bunch of spam, but then Jess saw the electronic mail. John Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the electronic mail, then shut off his computer and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small sense of hope.


Criticism welcome. Like I said, let me know if I should continue .