In the CAW 24 thread, Pars001 asked :

'' also can it hold a sci fi mystery story or stranger love affair base ? after all I am foreign ''

My response was :

'' How about accord negotiations between the < insert public figure here > alien race and the humans. The final treaty has to be consummated by sex between an noncitizen and a human being. For supernumerary points, tell it from both homo and alien points of view.

BTW : This is not an entirely pilot idea. ``

I had to try this one.

—

The chairwoman stared at the webpage, its oversaturated blue coloration hurt his middle, but it was the video which was just confusing and made his headache. How did they do that ? He looked at his briefing papers for extension, the diagram of the extraterrestrial female. If he squinted, you might mistake them for rule people, in a dark alley, during a power outage. Everything was just in the incorrectly place, and he really did n't require to think of the function of that porta, just adjacent to their reproductive orifice.

He turned to his primary science adviser. `` Are you totally certainly this is how they do it ? ``

'' The polyglot are positively charged mr chair. They studied the body words in minute point, it was said as if it were the most normal bodily function. They 'll be mightily offended if we do n't do it their way. ``

'' He really said, 'its consummated with a fuck on live TV, your prexy and our prexy'? ``

'' That 's exactly what he said mr President. ``

'' And we 've confirmed that that 's what he meant ? ``

'' We asked almost politely for clarification, and that is what he meant. He seemed perturbed by the interrogation. We do n't want to countermine the talks, so we just moved politely onto the logistics of the act. ``

'' This is n't going to defeat me or maybe bad, pour down her ? ``

'' All the datum shows we are extremely compatible. We evolved from he same basic amino group acids as they did, our foods are compatible. We would even classify them as mammals if we did n't cognise they 're alien. They give birth to live Brigham Young, and they suckle them, they even have vestigial consistence fuzz. Our measurements indicate that our sex reed organ are of compatible size. ``

The chairman flinched at the acknowledgment of sex organs, it was his orchis on the line here. Rather too literally for his liking.

'' So how is this going to go down ? ``

'' page five of the briefing paper has the outline of the result. You will enter from antonym side of the leg, you will be naked to go with. You will run into on the bed at center level, and there you will execute the sexual relation. ``

'' How the hell am I supposed to fuck an alien, her plaza are not in the compensate position. ``

'' The briefing text file pages 20 through 30 covers trace on how to keep. Our anthropologists have been studying their rituals and impost. There is a large amount of germ cloth for that, their pornography industry is surprisingly advanced. We can see several ways in which you might be able to mate with their president. We have proposition for stimulation, the anthropologists are suggesting it is still accustomed for their males to drive the jumper lead in carnal knowledge. However, do n't be surprised if she gives you focal point instead. I 'm sure you can handle it, sir. ``

The president was now questioning why he got into political science in the number one place. He could have been a childlike farmer just like his father. He carried on studying the briefing paper.

—

Down on the satellite, chairwoman Rowena Colin luther Powell was having like intellection. She looked at the orange tinted cover of her most cherished possession. `` Playboy and the Slime God '' it proclaimed, even above the public figure, `` pose '', of the magazine. Her uncle Isaac had bought it for her when she was ten, it was already an oldtimer then. It had sparked a young girls stake in science and it had put her on the route which after a couple of strange tour brought here here. To be fucked by an alien.

She wanted to know there was no misunderstanding, like the hapless Botax ( the noncitizen protagonist in the form of address story ) had had. She called that being the goo god.

'' We 're totally 100 % positive that this is their customs, they 're not the guck god here ? ``

'' They told us about it in the sixth kind. They were very definite about how this was to encounter, madam president '' The alien language had multiple forms, each kind was used in a different way to commune shades of signification. The sixth form was ultra polite, it also conveyed the message, 'if you do n't agree, we 'll microwave you', so no mistaking their intent.

The voice communication forms the extraterrestrial used also made it almost impossible to put a name to them, they themselves called themselves several things including `` Baorn '', `` Oeblae '' and `` Rohazee ''. Baorn was sixth conformation, Rohazee was third, much LE stately. If you used the incorrect one in the wrong destiny you could begin a war, or worsened. nigh of the time they were referred to `` our friends from space '', or just `` Quaker ''. There were a lot of less genteel words for them in common up-to-dateness as well.

'' So how does their anatomy workplace again ? ``

'' They 're in transition from quadrupedal to bipedal, not unlike a gorilla. The head parallel is not fully articulated, more of a hump. There are several optic and a mouth. The rima oris is only used for feeding, not for respiration. external respiration and speech uses the posterior opening. ``

'' You mean they talk through their but ? ``

'' Exactly. ``

'' They must be undecomposed politician. ``

The scientific discipline adviser suppressed a chuckle, but continued. `` The mouth also doubles as the sex organs though. The natural language is also a penis. ``

'' The male screwing by going down on the female person ? Sounds good to me. '' Said the President of the United States with a giggle.

'' Actually madam President, the female 's sexual organs are also in her oral fissure. sexual relation is more like Gallic hugging. There is some book of facts to oral sex, that might be Thomas More what you were referring to madam president. Though given the difference in the billet of their mouth and the human vagina, it might front different. ``

'' Like he 's kissing her butt ? ``

'' Precisely brothel keeper president. ``

—

Rowena walked hesitantly onto the stage, she felt au naturel. She was naked, but it felt worse than that. Across the stage was the alien president, he did look like a headless humpback gorilla from this angle. Getting tightlipped she could see that he was hairless, his skin was dark and looked more like a granulate leather jacket. That was more or less as expected, their sun flooded their planet with a great deal more UV light than earthly concern, a tougher skin was necessary for survival.

Even closer she could see the optic around the sensory hump. On their planet, they were much more heavily shielded against sunlight, with multiple eyelids. To the alien, even a well lit TV studio was saturnine, so all the eyes were fully subject, various of them were staring at her.

Finally they were within touching length, the alien spoke, to Rowena, it sounded like a fart. The displacement was relayed to her ear bug, `` I 'm very proud of to meet you madam chair. ``

Rowena started her educate language, `` I 'm pleased, … '' but did n't get to finish. The foreigner reached around and hugged her, and kissed her. The hug felt like the foreigner was wearing an exquisitely sonant leather jacket crown, leather was n't Rowena 's hoodoo, but at this pace she thought she might change her mind. The hug was very carnal. She reached around and hugged back, she could experience the illuminate coating of hair she expected to find.

The buss was also quite a turn on, the alien 's lingua slipped into her sass. Of course, it was also his penis and it was erect, she tried to french him, but she found herself giving him a blowjob. Meanwhile the alien 's other lingua, there were three smaller tongues arrayed around the main lingua, they also joined in. It was really titillating for Rowena.

The alien reached for her breasts, she found herself getting the most sensual massage. It felt like manus clad in the voiced calfskin gloves. The alien maneuvered her to sit on the bed, then moved his mouth down to her bosom. The prehensile tongue/penis again performed a most sensual massage of her boob. She lay back on the bed and moaned softly.

Rowena was barely capable of noetic thought at that moment, but one thought she had was that these aliens had a future tending to earth women like this. She 'd be tempted to subscribe up for this again. The alien kissed down her stomach, arriving at her pussy. The alien 's glossa probed, he was well at this, a natural Rowena though. She sighed and moaned some more, louder this meter.

She felt the stranger 's tongue/penis pushing at her entranceway. Simultaneously, the three smaller tongue licked at her button and kitty-cat sass. The issue was too much for Rowena, she came, her moans became screams and she trashed around on the bed. The stranger raised his buttocks gamey, and trumpeted a triumphal bellow, it still sounding like a very loud wind. Then he came inside her.

—

At the very recently and rapidly constituted agency of alien affairs, Mark Watson was a computational linguist. He was contribution of the team which had built the interpreter the talks had relied on. He was troubled.

As he was discussing his concerns with is boss, the TV was playing the coupling of the Chief Executive in the scope. It was being broadcast around the domain. `` So you know about the various forms of our friend'language. ``

'' Uh huh. ``

'' I was looking over the translation map, I noticed the 3rd and fifth forms cluster very closely in the output space. That would means password in the one-third and fifth forms can be easily confused. This is a phenomena our champion have noticed themselves. They call them 'third pattern jokes'. Something like our puns, but Thomas More subtle. The third form tends to express cruder construct, so if you change a fifth part human body Scripture to a third form Christian Bible in a condemnation you can end up with a dirty joke pun. ``

'' That could pretend life difficult, can we change the topology of the map to increase the separation of the frame ? ``

'' That was what I was thinking we want to do, but I was examining the output and I think we 've been translating 'handshake'as 'fuck'by mistake. '' They both looked over to the activity on the screen .