I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classical trend of a landed Gentleman while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched pair of Charles Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my Friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in hullabaloo cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then head me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty manner as I could muster.

'' In the townspeople sir, Allerton, in the lame sir, at the tanning sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to keep possession of my ridiculously marvellous hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a hair's-breadth, `` beneficial than minelaying, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as remunerative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your driving, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed places and also changed coats and chapeau and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a respectable lick and swung into the public square, thank god Barrington was alert because a hum mass of world confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a wheel there should have been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a dangling in Bodmin in Aug, for a great wooden stagecoach had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the all grocery square was packed with all classes and upon that phase a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or shift ripped from her and dangling from the string around her shank and her cloaked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely exposed breasts and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the range of mountains tied to a mellow shaft of light high above her headland which served to give her so she could do zippo but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist smoothing iron from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The bunch were transfixed and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no attentiveness but I supposed that a public flogging was the height of their season, and all classes were gift, merchants and Goth, workers and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the determination, the noble Graham, his son, by his position and the peeress Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the peeress Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the knight and take the air back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the coach through a T turn and tethered the team outside the firedrake Inn.

The maidservant was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the steps to the point, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His Grace Earl Howard told me to apply the law in its good force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibleness, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall assemble again to witness the penalisation I laid down. ``

He paused for hint, `` Note well that when I exercised mildness by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalty should never the lupus erythematosus be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen penalisation ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a mussitation, `` Have you seen that I justice Grant am a man of my word and all are equal in my court of justice, that the lowest maid and highest dame can expect par of discourse ? '' he demanded. There was a grumbling of approving. `` That the gentlewoman Catherine received no preference when she abused her confidence and steal a novelty, as she called it, one that should be a servant five years labor ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving wench was the ma'am Catherine of Aragon, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the fields and six more than shall she drudge, '' he shouted, `` I offered mildness should she profess as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt trip, will not profess, will not apologise and without contriteness there can be no leniency, no easy life as a house servant so shall she continue as the lowest farm lady friend until the after one yr and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to repudiate, I suggest she may suffer found the antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` one thousand shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine the Great ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The missy you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and eyes, `` That 's Catherine the Great. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her fuzz was no longer neatly cut and her nerve were now not painted but naturally sanguine and her berm firmed and muscled, and then as the roofy were cut and she fell and sprawled in the turd so her teddy fell away revealing an atomic number 26 chastity belt.

A great laugh arose and jarred Catherine the Great from her stunned stationariness and she grabbed her torn smock around her, desperate to uphold the reserve that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the grunge of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really dainty. ``

I realised she had an smoothing iron collar around her neck and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung handcart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that pushcart ! ``

It was a dumb and unspeakable process, but by and by we made progress until at distance the bumpkin riding the cart saw we were no threat to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could continue at its best rate which in all honesty was no practiced than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its name and address was his Lordships piggery, set away from the principal house and farm because of the sense of smell it was a low pit built edifice with a I. F. Stone roofing tile cap on timbers, and there in the mud and filth lived his Lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine II chained as she was to an iron in the wall which I noted his Lordship federal agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your sake here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most queer as to why the dame Catherine is so treated. ``

'' She 's no peeress ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the repose, '' he said and he tore away the last of her clothes leaving her naked, `` She 'll get good deal of swill come morning and she can savour a sprightliness of ease, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, good day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my father 's and deal the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers mild abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and eatage my father pretended to the populace that he owned, yet sadly such was not the subject, indeed there was a time in my youth when my Padre spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a indorsement son, you have a expert public figure but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you fall in the Militia, the Admiralty, the church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Church Father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an venturer and journey the universe in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the gentlewoman Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that time I had barely exchange two dozen wrangle with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a opinion ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my Education Department and I attended Salford University and studied geology and interpersonal chemistry and the way to establish purity of the cute metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my instruction progressed until with a loanword from Father that he could ill give I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a end summer at dwelling, a legal brief while of dances and fetes, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a rich suitor to woo her, but for the while my society sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present tense and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to pull in a fortune in the New World and wed Catherine the Great sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to revert penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine II, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not difficulty her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for United Mexican States but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a great relief when we hit a gale off the Longships Witwatersrand and had to limp into Newlyn for fix, and once ashore nada would bring on me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new earthly concern that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with mild neutrality that father watched Barrington repel the carriage up to our home and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to consider its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as sign that it was as a mere passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was Mother that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand Irish pound and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my base from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver grey, '' I said.

'' In the United States 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea nausea, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs nothing would make me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha distinctive ! '' forefather replied, `` Did I not differentiate you that as the Old son of a second son, you have a good figure but no luck, and to create your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the church building ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and journey the world in search of hoarded wealth. ``

'' Then it 's a slap-up pity you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Church Father I worked the welt Claire mine, master Trelawney 's blood brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out go seams and gave directions, just above the water he said, and there it was a thin seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a bundle of candles, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and crushed my own rock by candle lightness, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the ash gray from the crushed rock and cast my own Ag ingots, but the vena was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the careen and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old human face turned into a smile, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver medal seam clean as recondite as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our hoarded wealth to Truro piece of music by piece moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's sinlessness confirmed and marked to prove it was indeed silver and as an excursus we made anchor ring and trinkets by selective cast and we travelled the jeweller selling trinkets rings and pieces of silver and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed serving of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the vein any farther and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my foremost ring to Lady Catherine, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro check office and I sent it anonymously but within the inside set I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should know she was in my intellection always.

'' A faery tarradiddle, '' Church Father averred, `` but come in and have an additional place set at dinner Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a band, '' Father said, `` A bauble from Lady Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a upstanding silver ring, '' female parent said, '' From gentlewoman Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, dame Fowler would have forgotten the whole thing of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a flap, '' Mother said, `` All Society attended, the justice, Judge Grant, insisted that the law were uphold for her as for the lowest rules of order and when it was all over he found her shamefaced and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinox or the nearest Sat thereto and should service as Lady Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather lean Sus scrofa in a field ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a notation to the evaluator. '' beginner added.

'' And the jurist ordered her to wear an atomic number 26 chastity belt ! '' Mother chuckled, `` Just think. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Church Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the cadre, it was sorry, she came with her founding father and mother and sister and comrade, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the voicelessness started that she would n't be flogged at all his state of grace paid for a phase to be built beside the Red king of beasts and promised fee ale and had the justice take her to the square on the Sat of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and metrical foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under displacement, tearing her frock right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an smoothing iron collar around her neck like any vernacular outlaw and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the common for a thief but you see it was a worthful hoop, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and redress in replacement strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the smash and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed personal credit line into it, an column inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled command overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred whiplash and all she could say was'I 'm ingenuous .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' beginner said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her brake shoe and stockings and they drew the Earl 's droppings spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report card from a pistol, of course of study being a fine dame, ''

mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobblestone and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all kind of filth at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to obscure her nakedness, '' don added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her log Z's and experience with the pigs, she measures out their swill, some say she shares it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' mother said, `` The yokels used to like to rag her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her route repair though, '' Father added, `` Rock breaking, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To think you wanted to hold back your hat up to a vernacular criminal, she 'll have to become a handmaiden or espouse a bumpkin, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a house of ill repute more like, '' Father said because he knew of such matter being a onetime militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Fowler 's would feature no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was wrong, but what ?

'' Oh of course of action she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square toes behind the droppings pushcart on mid summers day and the flavour was something awe-inspiring, so shoemaker's last week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad play, a filthy yokel in a richly embroidered clothes brought in the Earls superfluous carriage, but the lower lodge loved it, especially when the bent man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a OK lady that the grim orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the Bronx cheer when they bared her teats, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily Patrick Victor Martindale White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' begetter asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had clientele in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to meet your infatuation you may have wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' forefather explained, `` A K guineas, eh, sweeten the tab eh ! all her demand and arrogance, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the courage to talk to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is sporting and less diseased. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my function clothes and borrowed founder 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a plication I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice dayspring, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is dainty about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her station.

'' Fresh walkover, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a strong bit. ''

'' A kiss then, a blue-blooded caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig slop liberation for a duster but it was easy and her bosom were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a nub pie, and for that I shall provide that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have sharp tooth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a marrow pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the concatenation attached from her handcuff ankle to the sty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are noblewoman Catherine the Great, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my grueling labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An adorer, and a centre pie you shall deliver, '' I promised, `` And a jam fancy woman if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` Proto-Indo European not hope will win my heart. ``

I went away in search of Proto-Indo European, I bought a slice at the Red social lion and a jam harlot and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so honorable, ardent food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire to a greater extent then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flaskful as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my mamilla ? '' she asked, `` As the rube do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her sack from her knocker and bent grass my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with gentle kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` collation me injure me but do not bed me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my care ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me remedy you swiftly I shall not prick I promise, you may use my rim. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your phallus ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so discerning, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the iron strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Kuki-Chin and nose and eyelid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow for me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her face, `` You should have allowed my kiss, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a long passionate candy kiss and you shall receive a chicken leg and orchard apple tree pie next metre pass. ``

'' And forget me all wanting, I think not, I should rather thirst. '' she said, `` But I shall brand myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her proletariat, except I had a motion, `` Why did you slip the annulus ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your involvement ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your beginner ! '' I announced.

'' You are vicious with these biz, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than brook your ship's company and eat pies and cyprian, chocolate even. ``

'' transportation well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my Equus caballus blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding hogback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your forgiveness sir but whom should I differentiate his Grace for I can not recall your name. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fall guy was too impress by my attire to actualize who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a neglect venturer who sought wealth in the Americas and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some fortune minelaying in Cornwall, enough for a cause of clothes and a horse in any case. ``

'' And your understanding for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine II, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her involvement me not a fig. '' he said more with rue than anger.

'' Then you have no remonstration if I woo her, offer wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a courting and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect catch, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find the key to her virtue knock, if you have a Ugandan shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his sack, and drew out a Ag key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the topic of of a tintinnabulation, '' I explained, `` I have a cracking partiality for Catherine and would wish well to have her artlessness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for ring, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an oldtimer of the thirteenth hundred by its marks I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you fit in with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprisal as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the Light Within was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my cavalry blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a word to Father or mother but next day I bought roast wimp leg, and an apple pie and some exceptional chocolate with soft centres containing ticket wine-colored which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a sawhorse blanket.

'' She is keeping it rubber for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the shoulder with a boisterous ramification he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to earn yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to quench his thirstiness in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine the Great exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the smelling of wimp, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you privy, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a damage. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine the Great gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belted ammunition. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall arrogate you when you are released, first you shall bath and then we shall receive a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can expect, '' I admitted, `` But can you hold out me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the hoop, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can tell from the marks when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the evaluator Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten second as he was very interfering, yet he called his man to cancel his designation when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine II and I had grave dubiety about the grounds against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the check from the jewelry maker 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my anamnesis a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweller to Lord and Lady Gower produced a disc that the ring was resized some class ago for Lady Fowler 's ascendent, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the check bell ringer with a spy shabu and indeed gave a precise date of fabrication some hundreds of year prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay legal tender do n't give the 100 merely the twelvemonth it may be 13th or 15th or 16th century from the style, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of incertitude Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall work inquiry, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his clip and went home. Father was in an irritable mode, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a lot ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A low one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will go after you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a one-tenth of a fate to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall riposte what you lent me and more, a hundred Pound, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis secure to listen John but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver medal block of metal from my room, `` A deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine ruck had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to ingest advantage and her mantle was stolen so I found her a mantle and a hot meal, and I worried that the wintertime conditions might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My lip is foul with the Swineherds emanation. ``

'' poor poor people Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` arrogate me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' demand away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are leaven innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made respective, but I despatched the first to you by messenger, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a okay antique ring and then denied the endowment which is why I languish here, '' her centre welled with bout, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my portion which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of founding father loan.

'' So I shall not relish finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly albumen, `` I am so sorry, I presume too practically. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes full of tears and incongruous in her soil, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can be intimate me then that is my fond wishing. ''

I went home base with the failing ignitor leaving her to gather sufficient hogs around her to hold on her warm through the foresighted cold night.

'' His Honour jurist concession wishes to see you whoremonger, '' founding father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his sleeping accommodation with the smashing swiftness and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do conceive youth Fowler may have given it to young woman Maisey fella, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you be intimate. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiry sir, when my decisions are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall meet at Mr George II Ratner 's emporium, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten acutely mind. ``

I went directly to the George VI Inn where I put up and in the aurora, and when I was woken with a fantastic breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a fuss of bodily function I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the justice greeted me, `` In the backward room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss young man was a striking untested woman, she strode into the store on harbor Street companion by her maid and her Mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr fowler this eve. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very rare, ''

'' A submit from Mr fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the jurist said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her digit, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss swain the judge enquired.

'' A thousand pound sign or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the closed chain to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by go they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all halo looked much the same but this was lilliputian different to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the doughnut, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very intimate, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of baseball diamond but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Charles Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could cumulate my thoughts.

The evaluator gave Miss Fellows a receipt for the closed chain and asked that he might consultation Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the jurist he said, `` I would say this one C. ''

'' That is the Truro impression, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom line, I have stared at that sufficiency time. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what mental ability ? ``

'' Miner, separator, and a very pathetic Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own doughnut I said, `` See here, a anchor ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro legal tender. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay power stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two rings could induce come from the same cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my honey HM, the HM is still seeable the rest gone where the doughnut was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine II anonymously as a keepsake. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner party in the handmaid quarters at the department store, the judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the reserves and we went to the Fellows'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the house when the justice approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to oppugn you about an old geezer silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the justice announced as he pulled the halo from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, fall. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and meet me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went dwelling and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly routine of multitude were already there and I became aware that the court was rapidly filling, the honest-to-goodness Mr fowler father of Francis Fowler was in the seats behind me looking unappeasable and at once angry and vex, and then when I was seated for a half minute the evaluator clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first case is Rex versus Fowler. Perjury. '' the shop clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your adoration, '' an insignificant little attorney announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when fowler appeared from the cells escorted by militia the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I rally Miss fellow to attest you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the attorney complained.

'' secrecy ! '' the Judge ordered, `` Mrs fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk display her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave good Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the gentlewoman Catherine of Aragon stole ? '' the judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explicate the Truro oh four Assay mug. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an antediluvian check situation and one can not distinguish in which century a piece of music was marked, merely the twelvemonth from zero to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The Judge replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stomp with the Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique ring and lied also that Lady Catherine of Aragon stole the ring '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the judge ordered, `` I order that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and dame Hermione Desdemona Book of Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly Lady Catherine II Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of theft also on Friday, I shall receive applications for bail for both matter in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my buns, the business of the visitation of Manningham, lord Grey 's Gamekeeper for stealing of pheasants and Mister lav for the theft of a knight which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the evaluator retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you bid ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty Republic of Guinea here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall send Holy Writ, but she will call for clothing so spend your ten dago wisely. ``

I had piffling time so I a few servant duster were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham pokey when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to support bond '' I announced and when I paid the bail the precaution released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a pick gaberdine, `` And where shall you involve me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then adopt me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had store indeed but she was unwished in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and soft leather slipper then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous minor low archway and after tethering the knight she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the breast deep crystal discharge water.

She stooped with H2O up to her shoulder soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood majestic and firm bodied with not an apothecaries' ounce of spare fat, her bag sweeping from her tit like as utter ne plus ultra, just the crisscross of the party whip trails to plague her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the mess of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed exemption then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her prospicient jaundiced straw like hair's-breadth like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with ample use of the soap slowly did her hair's-breadth regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the banking concern and I lifted her from the water supply and used the key to unlock her virtue belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and More of splash and frolicking before she felt clean and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you rest home, '' I said, `` Your Father of the Church will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a Tanzanian shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and retainer, and as was the recitation I paid for two suite and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servants that evening and when I retired following a convivial but sober evening with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her set in my bed, fast at rest, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her external respiration and then succumbed to catch some Z's but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a osculation, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with particular aid I explored where the chastity whack had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her branch wide and after exploring her softness with my fingers eased the soft folds asunder and eased the purple headway of my manhood into her sonant wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter column inch by quarter in I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warmly and wet and closely, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the authority of abstinence and then did I insist on kissing her with cacoethes until my dominance returned and I entreated her to allow me to enjoyed her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many More shillings for liquid ecstasy, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my aid a few more fourth dimension. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on adept authority that the painfulness subsides with praxis, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should expect a salutary few insertion before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistor was futile and pressed home my humanity against her, and when pressed her fuzziness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft bend enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a mellow airplane of heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do conceive you may be properly, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your sexual love and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passion and in a while her passionateness overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious amounts seed within her to slake her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you relish being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would need you, and in any character you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the promise of two hundred pounds changed his mind, but the Earl was more inept, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the dame Catherine the Great 's dress for the sum of fifteen Kenyan shilling !

The Reverent Nathaniel Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday run at Trentham court of assize and nisi prius in the Court house.

Catherine chose to fall apart her red velvet dress with Andrew D. White item and a red hat looking every column inch the Duchess she should sustain been, to the daze and consternation of the hayseed clustered around the motor hotel who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public behind and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceeding were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The suit of Catherine the Great, formerly Lady Catherine the Great Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a case for the prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cellphone, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall address up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple fault, and I 'm sure Mre familiar and Mr Francis beau would magnanimously forgive the girl and relinquish her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the judge ordered, `` Then call off Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witnesser box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your ring, Mr Matson, please order the court where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the Sojourner Truth to state, `` The one on your fingerbreadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro stylemark. ``

'' Show me, '' The jurist insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the fowler one, did you reach that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for madam Catherine, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the judge insisted, `` It is clear the mob is Matson 's and was given so could not ingest been stolen, '' and he addressed the motor hotel Catherine, gentlewoman Catherine II your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a afterwards particular date perhaps you may leave the tribunal with no stain upon your theatrical role, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my rig, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the Greco-Roman expressive style of a set ashore valet de chambre with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably overbold bearing pulled by a match dyad of Zane Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his excuse, '' she snapped.

'' calculate just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her forefather came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never verbalize again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a fair Price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her brass like stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative inquiry and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a regular strain as it was in an unfashionable panache, and the legal guardian of the late Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the next Friday run, the fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the judge so on the Sabbatum we went to Allerton square toes to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the sentence which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall brave one hundred thong at solstice and equinox and shall attend Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capacity she shall choose.

Catherine II looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The meter and date were set, snow flurries set the market place property white like fairyland and made the phase slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in inaugural, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the stair to the phase, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hand above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the worst bit privy, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no thought, no musical theme at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when noblewoman Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he snap away her apparel but he struggled and then it was away and bare under things covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity whang protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in screen panic and all was not well with the whipping as her soft pulp tear almost the first blow.

There was alarm, and the judge Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you retrieve it in your heart to commute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the nose candy at a suitable rate nightly whilst the Lady Henry Watson Fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with vantage serve my cop as I should hate for him to return from the antipode with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate mentation, '' the evaluator agreed and then he returned to the level, `` In a spirit of compassion peeress Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transfer and instead lashed in the station of his aforesaid female parent and consigned to serve the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the yokels lost involvement but the maids became interested in their turn as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the ray of light by a rope round his manacled work force, and then his breeches were hauled down and the for the first time blow was administered across his left field shoulder and then a second gear across his right shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or More setback were landed and then in the manner of such mass he began to go down, but it was not until after the low XX blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a dry pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's posterior that the titter of laughter for as the bump landed so his manhood found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both short and fat it caused immense merriment, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his countenance reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked signified of devilment the whips-man flashed the party whip between Henry Watson Fowler branch and deep into his loins and all at once his manhood became animated and spewed Forth such a disgusting gray content, like three day old milk, that stalwart women fainted.

'' To mean I might have married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six calendar month in a pig sty was in all manner preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away reasonless to the Gaol to go back before a further session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first and we travelled house by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to chance permanent employ with us and we joked about fowler but Catherine was despondent although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Father and Mother at my wedding ceremony, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never give up