I arrived at Allerton dorm unannounced, dressed in the Hellenic elan of a set ashore Gentleman while riding in a tolerably sassy carriage pulled by a agree pair of Charles Grey, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devon who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in fermentation cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His blessing indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as lordly manner as I could muster.

'' In the Town sir, Allerton, in the square toes sir, at the whipping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rightfulness he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the madam Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the lash and Forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain self-possession of my ridiculously improbable hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a hair's-breadth, `` serious than minelaying, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as secure with your driving, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed plaza and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a sound lick and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething peck of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a roulette wheel there should have been massacre for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a dangling in Bodmin in August, for a corking wooden stage had been set up against the Red Leo alehouse across from St Agnes church the whole market square was packed with all classes and upon that degree a serving wench was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or transmutation ripped from her and dangling from the cosmic string around her waistline and her dissemble leather clad tormenter, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to void his blows by turning away he struck her shapely queer breasts and the mammilla thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hired man were manacled and uselessly chained together and the mountain range tied to a high shaft high above her heading which served to confine her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the carpus smoothing iron from which a trail of line of descent seeped already.

The bunch were fascinate and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a world whipping was the height of their time of year, and all course of study were award, merchants and peasants, workers and grandeur indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating area set up for the purpose, the Jehovah whole meal flour, his son, by his side and the peeress Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the ma'am Catherine of Aragon.

'' We 'll tether the horse and take the air back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the pram through a T turn and tethered the team outside the Draco Inn.

The maid was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham court of assize was mounting the steps to the degree, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His Grace Earl Howard told me to apply the law in its full force, and here you see I shirked not my province, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall put together again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for intimation, `` Note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipode, I was determined that penalty should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen penalty ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a grumble, `` Have you seen that I evaluator Grant am a man of my word and all are equal in my court, that the lowly amah and gamey lady can have a bun in the oven equivalence of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of approval. `` That the ma'am Catherine II received no preference when she abused her faith and steal a gaud, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five years labour ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the fields and six more shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she confess as you all heard, but she will not intromit her guilt, will not confess, will not apologise and without attrition there can be no leniency, no prosperous life history as a house servant so shall she continue as the scurvy farm girl until the after one twelvemonth and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to disown, I suggest she may birth found the antipode preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and heart, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce think it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her cheeks were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulder firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an iron sexual morality belt.

A great laugh arose and jarred Catherine from her stupefy immobility and she grabbed her torn gabardine around her, despairing to preserve the modesty that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her rip had run dry until just the tear data track remained in the grunge of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a sweetheart ! ``

'' Do n't jest, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her neck opening and she was taken down from the phase and chained barefoot behind a droppings go-cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' uncovering Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that handcart ! ``

It was a slowly and painful summons, but by and by we made forward motion until at length the yokel riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine the Great aboard so the Ox could continue at its best pace which in all Lunaria annua was no honorable than when Catherine II had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his lordship piggery, set away from the main house and farm because of the smell it was a low Isidor Feinstein Stone built building with a stone tile roof on lumber, and there in the mud and dirty word lived his Lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine the Great chained as she was to an iron in the rampart which I noted his Lordship factor fastened her Sir Ernst Boris Chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your pursuit here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the ma'am Catherine is so plow. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the in conclusion of her apparel leaving her defenseless, `` She 'll get mountain of swill come morning and she can love a life story of comfort, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is buck private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, unspoiled day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` discharge me at my father 's and take the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my begetter small-scale abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and pasturage my father pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the vitrine, indeed there was a time in my youthfulness when my Church Father spoke to me earnestly, `` John the Evangelist, '' he said, `` You are the old son of a 2d son, you have a good name but no portion, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you bring together the militia, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and jaunt the universe in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And splice a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in Truth at that time I had barely exchange two twelve dustup with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's girl ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a intellection ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and interpersonal chemistry and the way to establish purity of the cute metals with an eye to seeking amber prospecting and so by degrees my education progressed until with a loan from Padre that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summertime at home, a abbreviated charm of dances and festival, and I saw the gentlewoman Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a rich wooer to woo her, but for the while my fellowship sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a fortune in the New World and wed Catherine sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not destine to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with pecuniary resource or not at all that is my purpose. ``

'' Then do not unhinge Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a light season, you do empathise ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not difficulty her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a great relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to gimp into Newlyn for haunt, and once ashore nothing would induce me to speculation to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

thus it was with mild neutrality that beginner watched Barrington tug the carriage up to our star sign and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to watch its disappearing when I had unloaded my own baggage as polarity that it was as a mere rider in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was Mother that rushed to greet me, `` Saint John the Apostle where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your luck ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand quid and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the U.S.A. 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the give Ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea malady, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for mending nada would induce me to speculation to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the oldest son of a secondly son, you have a thoroughly name but no fortune, and to produce your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the church service ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and locomote the globe in search of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a dandy disgrace you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father I worked the Wheal Claire mine, captain Trelawney 's comrade 's mine and found silver grey. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out track seams and gave direction, just above the water he said, and there it was a reduce bed and I started on my own with a heap axe and a bundle of candles, and I recognised the ash grey bearing ore and crushed my own careen by candle luminosity, and made my own dose using my educational activity to the fully and dissolved the silver grey from the crushed rock and cat my own silver medal ingot, but the vena was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six in slot in the rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a smile, '' I explained, `` He named a Price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver wrinkle clean as late as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro small-arm by piece moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to evidence it was indeed silver grey and as an aside we made rings and novelty by selective casting and we travelled the jeweller selling trinket tintinnabulation and small-arm of ash gray and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed lot of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the venous blood vessel any encourage and I sold ploughshare until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't reference I sent my showtime hoop to Lady Catherine, I had its pureness checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay business office and I sent it anonymously but within the inner forget me drug I engraved, `` To my sexual love JM. '' so she should know she was in my thinking always.

'' A Fairy fib, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an spear carrier place set at dinner party Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine II ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a halo, '' Father-God said, `` A trinket from Lady Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a square flatware ring, '' female parent said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, Lady Henry Watson Fowler would have forgotten the hale thing of Catherine would give birth wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the band, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a bickering, '' female parent said, `` All Society attended, the jurist, jurist Ulysses S. Grant, insisted that the law were upheld for her as for the low-pitched monastic order and when it was all over he found her shamefaced and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her statute title and whipped four times at equinoctial point or the nearest Saturday thereto and should serve up as Lady Fowler 's retainer for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather run hogs in a field ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the prison term is to be given hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his saving grace passed a note to the Judge. '' begetter added.

'' And the evaluator ordered her to wear thin an iron virtue knock ! '' Mother chuckled, `` Just envisage. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' William Tell him Gerald, '' female parent suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

founder took up the narrative, `` They dragged her to the prison cell, it was pitiful, she came with her father and mother and sister and chum, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whisper started that she would n't be flogged at all his free grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red social lion and promised fee ale and had the evaluator take her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and metrical unit and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udder were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a fireplace going and they rivetted an iron collar around her neck like any common criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot stud, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the evaluator said 'One hundred thong !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ringing, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right in alternate CVA, first he bared her nates so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every in very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss crossing hither and thither her ams were shackled disk overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred thong and all she could say was'I 'm destitute .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' begetter said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water supply at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her skid and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a write up from a pistol, of form being a fine ma'am, ''

female parent returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on sett and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetable and all variety of stain at her. ``

'' They put a firing around her to hide her nakedness, '' Padre added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live with the Sus scrofa, she measures out their swill, some say she shares it because they do n't prey her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' Mother said, `` The yokels used to like to torment her but they do n't see the peak anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' Fatherhood added, `` Rock breakage, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To recollect you wanted to hold your hat up to a rough-cut crook, she 'll take to become a servant or tie a yahoo, '' mother said.

'' Enter a house of ill repute more like, '' Father said because he knew of such things being a former reserves man.

'' Gerald please ! '' mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was damage, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square behind the dung cart on mid summers day and the smell was something terribly, so last week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad frolic, a filthy rube in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls spare pram, but the lower guild loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the frock off her and showed the under-things of a amercement madam that the lower orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the darn when they bared her teats, '' female parent added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily Patrick Victor Martindale White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way dwelling house ? '' Father asked.

'' My booster Mr Barrington had concern in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' wellspring you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your puppy love you may cause wed a stealer. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A chiliad Numida meleagris, eh, sweeten the pill eh ! all her demands and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her natal day and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the courageousness to verbalize to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' female parent suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is sporting and less pathological. ``

I ignored female parent 's jibe.

Next aurora I donned my exercise clothes and borrowed male parent 's horse for a drive to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a turn I tethered my horse and I walked back, `` Nice morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her sexual abstention belt, `` Or that because I have sharp dentition and a strong chomp. ''

'' A kiss then, a aristocratic caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigwash sack for a smock but it was loose and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a nitty-gritty pie, and for that I shall countenance that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have tart teeth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a nub pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you go with me ? ``

She rattled the concatenation attached from her manacle ankle to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are noblewoman Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past times animation, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An protagonist, and a essence pie you shall have, '' I promised, `` And a jam sporting lady if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` Pies not promise will win my affection. ``

I went away in lookup of pies, I bought a slice at the Red lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the substance pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so beneficial, tender food for thought. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you want to a greater extent then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the cherubic water from my flaskful as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the rube do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her duty period from her tit and bent my head.

Her pap stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not excruciate me with aristocratical buss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me wound me but do not love me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my tending ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not prick I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her full on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my knickers feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's handsome than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for back how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the Fe straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her chin and intrude and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my bridge player kerchief and moistened it and wiped the come from her face, `` You should take allowed my buss, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a recollective passionate kiss and you shall cause a chicken leg and apple pie next time pass. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather lust. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her confinement, except I had a interrogative, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his female parent insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your sake ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your forefather ! '' I announced.

'' You are roughshod with these biz, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's slops than endure your company and eat pies and fancy woman, chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's house, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I recite his Grace for I can not remember your name. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old motley fool was too affect by my attire to see who I was and invited me to waitress in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a fail adventurer who sought riches in the Americas and succumbed to sea unwellness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a horse cavalry in any case. ``

'' And your reason for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine II here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her involvement me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer matrimony perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a courtship and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect match, go to her, woo her fornicate should care, I shall find the key to her celibacy belt ammunition, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the issue of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a nifty fondness for Catherine of Aragon and would wish to suffer her whiteness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an antique of the thirteenth century by its St. Mark I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you consort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave behind, and to my surprise as he left the way he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite unknown, indeed very unusual to be given a free hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Word to Father or female parent but side by side day I bought knock wimp leg, and an apple pie and some special chocolate with soft nub containing fine wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a horse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her various times across the berm with a jolting arm he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to construct yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to quell his thirstiness in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfactory sensation of Gallus gallus, '' she smiled, `` secernate me are you John Lackland, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a Leontyne Price. '' I handed the wimp to her and Catherine the Great gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her oculus welled with bout, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall find a flaccid bed and then I shall exact you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can hold off, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can severalize from the print when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a gewgaw. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the judge Duncan James Corrow Grant. He knew of my sire and so he allowed me an hearing for ten transactions as he was very busy, yet he called his man to cancel his fitting when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the place of origin, the chit from the Jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my remembrance a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewellers to lord and Lady Gower produced a record that the ring was resized some years ago for Lady Fowler 's ascendant, '' the justice remembered, `` And he read the assay gull with a spy deoxyephedrine and indeed gave a precise date of manufacture some hundreds of age prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay stamps do n't gift the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or one-sixteenth century from the style, but not from the fool sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seminal fluid of doubt Mr Matson, '' The justice agreed, `` A semen no more, but I shall pee inquiry, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went menage. beginner was in an irritable climate, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will pursue you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a one-tenth of a destiny to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but hold back it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis just to hear St. John the Apostle but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my room, `` A sediment, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine ruck had whipped her again when she bit his extremity while he sought to bring advantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a cover and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter weather condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to snog her, `` My mouth is foul with the Swineherds discharge. ``

'' poor people poor people Catherine the Great, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` take me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' make away the branding iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are examine impeccant, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with narration of Cornwall, `` Did you get my halo ? '' I asked, `` I made respective, but I despatched the number 1 to you by courier, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a childlike trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a alright antique annulus and then denied the talent which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with bout, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my circumstances which I admitted to being in surfeit of two hundred punt, after the quittance of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so sorry, I presume too much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her optic full of tear and incongruous in her grime, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can be intimate me then that is my adoring wish. ''

I went home with the failing Light leaving her to pile up sufficient hogs around her to keep her warm through the recollective cold night.

'' His honour Judge Grant wishes to see you John, '' don announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the greatest swiftness and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do believe young Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey feller, Theodore fella gal, the merchant do you have intercourse. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my decisions are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall meet at Mr George Ratner 's department store, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten astute mind. ``

I went directly to the George I Inn where I put up and in the first light, and when I was woken with a grand breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the Judge greeted me, `` In the back room, '' he ordered, `` And heed. ``

girl Fellows was a striking young woman, she strode into the shop on harbor Street accompanied by her maiden and her female parent, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mamma has invited Mr Henry Watson Fowler this even. ``

The evaluator smiled, `` It is your gang, '' he said, `` Antique silver grey, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may feature been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry Miss Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that region, '' the mother explained.

They handed the halo to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by go they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Henry Watson Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was lilliputian unlike to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal goodwill and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain, I expected a fulgurous array of diamonds but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an lettering HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own gang,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester closed chain. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss colleague a reception for the halo and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the jurist he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the arse line, I have stared at that enough metre. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' mineworker, centrifuge, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own doughnut I said, `` See here, a ringing I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro check office mould, and that is no old geezer, indeed the two tintinnabulation could own come from the same hurl ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The dude one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the doughnut was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a keepsake. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servant quarters at the Emporium, the evaluator, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jewelry maker, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'residence and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the planetary house when the judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to interview you about an antique silver hoop. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall audience her, come. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and receive me at my Sir William Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The justice was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of citizenry were already there and I became aware that the motor lodge was rapidly satiate, the elder Mr Fowler father of Francis Henry Watson Fowler was in the seats behind me looking unrelenting and at once angry and worried, and then when I was seated for a half 60 minutes the evaluator shop clerk ordered `` All acclivity, '' and the evaluator appeared.

'' If it pleases the first causa is Rex versus fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant short attorney announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics bathroom Hunstanton fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the cellular telephone escorted by militia the justice wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this mob ? '' he asked, `` Or must I muster up misfire Fellows to show you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a menage heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' secrecy ! '' the evaluator ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this oldtimer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her female parent before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his honey. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four Assay Saint Mark. '' the evaluator asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient Assay office and one can not secernate in which century a patch was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The jurist replied, `` And when did the Truro berth cease to pigeonhole with the Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten eld ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Henry Watson Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an old-timer ring and lied also that Lady Catherine stole the anchor ring '' the judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I rescript that Francis John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth fowler be detained securely until this Friday calendar week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly Lady Catherine of Aragon Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on burster of theft also on Friday, I shall receive applications for bail for both matter in my chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my hind end, the business of the tryout of Manningham, Almighty Grey 's gamekeeper for thievery of pheasants and Mister Johns for the theft of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at distance the jurist retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine the Great, `` How much do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall commit word, but she will want clothing so spend your ten wop wisely. ``

I had little time so I a few servants gaberdine were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham clink when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to brook bail '' I announced and when I paid the bond the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean smock, `` And where shall you conduct me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have stock. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a haircloth combing and soft leather slider then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridgework where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous lowly low arch and after tethering the horse she slipped over the breastwork and casting aside her dust coat she slipped into the breast thick crystal illuminate water.

She stooped with water up to her shoulder soaping herself and washing herself and the splendid pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of smut and she stood proud and firm bodied with not an ounce of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her breast like as utter ne plus ultra, just the cross of the whip trails to plague her as the dirty word slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the flock of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her long yellow straw like hair like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with plenteous use of the soap slowly did her hairsbreadth regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her chastity belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and more than of spattering and frolicking before she felt clean and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall accept you nursing home, '' I said, `` Your sire will be concerned. ``

'' liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodgment star sign but when inquiry were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as skipper and servant, and as was the practice I paid for two way and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a convivial but grave evening with some travelling salesmen and merchant I found her make in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her ventilation and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the break of day, and woke me with a buss, which I reciprocated, her heat aroused me and I explored her entirely with my finger and with peculiar care I explored where the sexual morality belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and bring out me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her wooden leg wide and after exploring her womanishness with my fingers eased the soft sheepcote asunder and eased the purplish caput of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so one-fourth inch by quarter in I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of ardent and wet and soused, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my potency returned and I entreated her to allow me to savor her joy once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a Tanzanian shilling, and many Thomas More shilling for soap, I do trust you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few more times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to subdue my aversion out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authority that the pain in the neck subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my spending I should expect a good few insertion before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was ineffectual and pressed home my humanity against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the flower petal of a Narcissus pseudonarcissus and he slipped easily within and her delicate folds enveloped and swallowed him until the globe beneath were tickled by her small hair's-breadth around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher planing machine of nirvana entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be good, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your beloved and I shall be capacity indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than warmth and in a while her cacoethes overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious amounts cum within her to quench her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you savour being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't jest. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would require you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a candy kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our unification but the promise of two hundred hammering changed his nous, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a steal with the housekeeper and I took away all the noblewoman Catherine the Great 's clothes for the sum of 15 bob !

The Reverent Nathaniel Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday trial run at Trentham Assizes in the Court house.

Catherine the Great chose to wear her red velvet dress with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should have been, to the electric shock and consternation of the rube clustered around the homage who expected her to be come on naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public seats and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The transactions were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The cause of Catherine, formerly dame Catherine Howarth. '' the salesclerk announced.

'' Is there a case for the criminal prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small-scale lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cellular telephone, '' the judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall verbalise up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple mistake, and I 'm sure Mre dude and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girl and unloose her from her conviction. ``

'' Indeed, '' the justice ordered, `` Then cry Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your halo, Mr Matson, please enjoin the court where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the true statement to tell, `` The one on your finger's breadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' appearance me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Henry Watson Fowler one, did you pee-pee that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine of Aragon, it was engraved `` With my sexual love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the jurist insisted, `` It is clear the annulus is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the topic and should perjury be proven then at a later day of the month perhaps you may leave the Court with no spot upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my pram, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic style of a bring gentleman's gentleman with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs terms -Wright and we rode in my tolerably sassy carriage pulled by a matched pair of Second Earl Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in turmoil crying `` Are you expected sir, only His goodwill. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' reckon just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her beginner came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never speak again. ``

'' But you allowed our sum ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a British shilling, a fair Leontyne Price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not experience you or her, ''

She set her face like Harlan Fisk Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative interrogation and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a bona fide song as it was in an unfashionable dash, and the trustees of the late Mable Sempter needed a spry cut-rate sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday trial, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the jurist came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must stand for the sentence which their perjurious assertion brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two C eyelash and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall wait on gentlewoman Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial capability she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The prison term and date were set, snowfall stir set the market property white like faery and made the phase slippery and the hangman stood as party whip man again.

They led the Mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the footmark to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her lumbering winter robe with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hands above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the unsound bit privy, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no thought, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the hick staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when Lady Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her frock but he struggled and then it was away and simple under thing covered her and then with rendings and watering her torus her to nakedness. not even a virtue belt protected her modesty, as the rolling of fat and curvaceousness were laid bare.

She stood in screen panic and all was not well with the whipping as her soft flesh split almost the first blow.

There was dismay, and the justice Ulysses Simpson Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine II, `` My lady, '' he said, `` Can you find out it in your center to commute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a worthy rate nightly whilst the noblewoman fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a hazard. ``

'' A wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassion Lady Catherine II has agreed that the whiplash shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve up the copper. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Henry Watson Fowler son in turn brought up, the bumpkin lost interest but the maids became interested in their number as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a rope round his manacled mitt, and then his breeches were hauled down and the low setback was administered across his left shoulder and then a second across his right articulatio humeri, and he bore it stoically while ten or more blows were landed and then in the style of such people he began to intermit down, but it was not until after the offset twenty blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maid had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to blister the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the puff landed so his manhood found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many banner it was both short and fat it caused vast merriment, indeed Catherine the Great turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the C continued it reared obscenely and his phiz reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the outcry, taken up around the square toes, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a foul sense of devilment the whips-man flashed the whip between Fowler legs and deep into his lumbus and all at once his humanness became animated and spewed forth such a disgusting gray substance, like three day old milk, that stout cleaning woman fainted.

'' To cogitate I might accept married that ? '' Catherine of Aragon gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all means preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away senseless to the clink to retrieve before a far session a week hence.

Catherine of Aragon and I stepped down among the offset and we travelled home by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find permanent wave employment with us and we joked about fowler but Catherine of Aragon was despondent although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still dysphoric and I asked about it.

'' I want sire and Mother at my nuptials, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver