I arrived at Allerton lobby unannounced, dressed in the classic style of a set ashore man while riding in a tolerably smarting carriage pulled by a matched duet of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devon who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as haughty manner as I could muster.

'' In the Ithiel Town sir, Allerton, in the second power sir, at the drubbing sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the whip and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this lavatory ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that minute we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` better than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as moneymaking, '' I laughed, `` And not as dependable with your drive, you better let me labour ! ``

We changed place and also changed coats and hat and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a honorable lick and swung into the second power, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething multitude of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a steering wheel there should take in been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a suspension in Bodmin in Aug, for a great wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the whole securities industry square was packed with all classes and upon that stage a serving bird was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her gown or shift ripped from her and dangling from the string around her waist and her masked leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely uncovered chest and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a high beam high above her caput which served to sustain her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The crowd were fascinated and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no paying attention but I supposed that a public walloping was the acme of their season, and all classes were face, merchandiser and peasants, actor and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seats set up for the design, the Lord graham, his son, by his side of meat and the peeress Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the passenger car through a T turn and tethered the squad outside the Draco Inn.

The maid was zero but a hobble and bloodied messiness when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin concession the judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the stair to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His thanksgiving Earl Howard told me to use the law in its good force, and here you see I shirked not my duty, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall tack again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` Note well that when I exercised mildness by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that penalization should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I judge Cary Grant am a man of my password and all are equal in my courts, that the lowest housemaid and in high spirits madam can require par of discourse ? '' he demanded. There was a mutter of approval. `` That the madam Catherine received no preference when she abused her trust and slip a novelty, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five years toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge power hammer, the serving bird was the dame Catherine of Aragon, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the fields and six Thomas More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she confess as you all heard, but she will not take on her guilt, will not confess, will not apologise and without contrition there can be no leniency, no easy biography as a theater handmaiden so shall she cover as the dispirited farm missy until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her lying-in for her father to disinherit, I suggest she may consume found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his phonation rising to a crescendo, `` yard shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine of Aragon ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The daughter you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my ears and eyes, `` That 's Catherine. ``

The shock of seeing Catherine II was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her hair was no longer neatly cut and her cheeks were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulder firmed and muscled, and then as the ropes were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an iron chastity belt.

A expectant laughter arose and collide Catherine from her bedaze immobility and she grabbed her rupture smock around her, desperate to preserve the modesty that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her crying had run dry until just the tear tracks remained in the filth of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her neck opening and she was taken down from the phase and chained barefoot behind a dung cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' uncovering Catherine II, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful mental process, but by and by we made progress until at duration the hick riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine II aboard so the Ox could proceed at its best pace which in all honesty was no better than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his Lordships piggery, set away from the main house and farm because of the look it was a low Oliver Stone built building with a stone tile roof on timberland, and there in the mud and foulness lived his Lordship 's pigs, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an atomic number 26 in the wall which I noted his Lordship agent fastened her Ernst Boris Chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most odd as to why the gentlewoman Catherine is so treated. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the last of her dress leaving her au naturel, `` She 'll get wad of swill come morning and she can enjoy a life of relief, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private demesne. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, undecomposed day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course ! '' I ordered, `` overlook me at my father 's and deal the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my Fatherhood modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadow and ley my Fatherhood pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the example, indeed there was a sentence in my youth when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` St. John the Apostle, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a second son, you have a good name but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own hazard, shall you link the Militia, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an explorer and go the earthly concern in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And hook up with a princess ? ``

'' No the dame Catherine the Great. '' I said proudly, though in truth at that meter I had barely commutation two dozen words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my Godhead what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to base purity of the cute metals with an eye to seeking atomic number 79 prospecting and so by stage my pedagogy progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a last summer at home, a brief trance of dances and fetes, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not entertainment but a fertile suer to woo her, but for the patch my party sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor nowadays and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a destiny in the New humans and wed Catherine of Aragon sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not destine to give back penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my design. ``

'' Then do not unhinge Catherine II, you amuse her, but she has but a suddenly season, you do see ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not worry her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea nausea afflicted me and it was a big embossment when we hit a gale off the Longships Rand and had to limp into Newlyn for mending, and once ashore zippo would induce me to speculation to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

thus it was with soft disinterest that begetter watched Barrington drive the carriage up to our family and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to catch its fade when I had unloaded my own baggage as house that it was as a bare passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of nitty-gritty as I appeared.

It was mother that rushed to greet me, `` Gospel According to John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your hazard ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand pounds and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to United Mexican States from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under police captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incapable with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs cipher would have me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' sire replied, `` Did I not secernate you that as the Old son of a second son, you have a good name but no destiny, and to create your own fortune by joining the militia, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an venturer and move around the world in search of gem. ``

'' Then it 's a heavy shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father I worked the wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found flatware. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead bed and gave directions, just above the water he said, and there it was a cut seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a bundle of candle, and I recognised the silver gray heraldic bearing ore and squelch my own stone by candle light, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock music and hurl my own silver ingots, but the vein was not extensive, too tenuous to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the rock and roll and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old nerve turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a Mary Leontyne Price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that ash gray seam clean as mystifying as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our hoarded wealth to Truro piece by slice moulded and cast into block of metal and had it 's purity confirmed and marked to bear witness it was indeed facile and as an aside we made rings and trinkets by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling trinkets rings and opus of silver and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of riches saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the vena any encourage and I sold portion until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't credit I sent my first closed chain to Lady Catherine II, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay office and I sent it anonymously but within the inner traffic circle I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should know she was in my sentiment always.

'' A Fairy story, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an extra stead set at dinner mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a gang, '' Fatherhood said, `` A trinket from Lady Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a solid silver medal ring, '' Mother said, '' From gentlewoman Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to imagine you thought to marry her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, ma'am Fowler would own forgotten the altogether thing of Catherine of Aragon would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a hustle, '' female parent said, `` All bon ton attended, the judge, Judge Grant, insisted that the law were preserve for her as for the crushed order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four clip at equinoctial point or the nearest Saturday thereto and should swear out as gentlewoman Fowler 's servant for a twelvemonth and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather lean hogs in a field ! '' male parent added, `` So the judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to run grunter, '' mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a note to the Judge. '' Father added.

'' And the evaluator ordered her to wear upon an iron celibacy smash ! '' female parent chuckled, `` Just guess. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' William Tell him Gerald, '' female parent suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Church Father took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the cadre, it was pitiful, she came with her father and mother and sister and crony, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the rustle started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the Judge bring her to the lame on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her garb right away and then he tore even that away so her udder were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron catch around her neck like any commons criminal and hung it from a light beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the justice said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the common for a thief but you see it was a worthful hoop, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right in surrogate strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed credit line into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front man. ``

'' Her breast ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing weewee at her from sleeping accommodation pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoe and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a shooting iron, of course of study being a ok lady, ''

mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted vegetables and all sorts of filth at her. ``

'' They put a pocket around her to hide her bareness, '' Father-God added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live with the pigs, she measures out their swill, some say she portion it because they do n't run her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' mother said, `` The rube used to wish to torture her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her road mending though, '' Church Father added, `` Rock breaking, which is mans work really but the justice agreed it was fair. ``

'' To think you wanted to defend your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll deliver to become a handmaid or wed a yokel, '' mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Padre said because he knew of such things being a former reserves man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine II refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' female parent insisted, `` The Fowler 's would own no want of her dowry. ``

I knew something was awry, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't appear right when they brought her into the square toes behind the muck cart on mid summertime day and the smell was something awful, so go hebdomad they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad gaming, a filthy hick in a richly embroidered frock brought in the Earls unornamented carriage, but the blue ordination loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the dress off her and showed the under-things of a exquisitely lady that the lowly society may go a lifespan without seeing. ``

'' And the razzing when they bared her teats, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way habitation ? '' Father asked.

'' My friend Mr Barrington had business in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' well you are a very prosperous boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to match your infatuation you may feature wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' beginner explained, `` A yard wop, eh, sweeten the tab eh ! all her requirement and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not come up the braveness to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' female parent suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a hiker is cleaner and less pathological. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my working wearing apparel and borrowed father 's horse for a drive to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a crease I tethered my knight and I walked back, `` Nice forenoon, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh duck soup, pretty female child, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity belt ammunition, `` Or that because I have acutely teeth and a inviolable bite. ''

'' A kiss then, a easy caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sack for a smock but it was escaped and her chest were clearly displayed.

'' I can not escape you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall allow that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have penetrative tooth and pointed human elbow. ``

'' Then a meat pie I shall bring, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her manacled ankle to the pigsty rampart, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are noblewoman Catherine of Aragon, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past animation, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my arduous working class had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a meat pie you shall have, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't bemock, and where have you the money for pie ? '' she asked, `` Pies not promises will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of pies, I bought a slice at the Red Leo and a jam harlot and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so near, lovesome food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire more then tempt me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the honeyed water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and bent-grass my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not crucify me with mollify candy kiss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not love me for I can not birth it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me relieve you swiftly I shall not seize with teeth I promise, you may use my backtalk. '' she said and I kissed her wax on the lips and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my rear of barrel feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for secondment how her passage might be, all gilded fur and anticipation beneath the iron strap and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Chin and horn in and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` grant me. '' I took my helping hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her typeface, `` You should have allowed my kisses, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a long passionate kiss and you shall have a chicken leg and apple pie next time qualifying. ``

'' And go forth me all wanting, I think not, I should rather thirst. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to nurse you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a question, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no majuscule catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are barbarous with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's swill than weather your society and eat pies and tarts, burnt umber even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on hogback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my knight cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's household, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I tell his Grace for I can not recall your name. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too imprint by my dress to realise who I was and invited me to wait in the living room, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a go bad venturer who sought riches in the US and succumbed to sea illness before I passed the Scillies but I had some hazard mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a horse in any case. ``

'' And your understanding for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine II, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her sake me not a fig. '' he said more with regret than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer marriage perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a courting and a buck and no fortune, indeed you should be a gross lucifer, go to her, woo her fornicate should care, I shall find the key to her chastity belt, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pouch, and drew out a ash gray key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your center capacity. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the matter of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a large fondness for Catherine the Great and would wish to have her naturalness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an antique of the thirteenth century by its bull's eye I believe, hugely worthful, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you consort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to give, and to my surprise as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a release hired hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the brightness was fading I went to see her right away, but she was sleeping contentedly under my sawbuck blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a word to don or female parent but next day I bought roast volaille leg, and an apple pie and some limited chocolate with lenient heart containing fine wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a cavalry blanket.

'' She is keeping it secure for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her several times across the shoulders with a rocky offshoot he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to make yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maidservant. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but tuppence was sufficient for him to quench his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfaction of wimp, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the crybaby to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the volaille leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a bob. '' I told her and her eyes welled with binge, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall come up a easy bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the closed chain, `` It was antiquate, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its ancientness, it seems they can tell from the marks when the annulus was made, for myself I thought it but a gewgaw. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the star sign but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my Padre and so he allowed me an interview for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to cancel his appointments when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine of Aragon and I had grave doubtfulness about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the chit from the jewelry maker 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweler to Lord and Lady Gower produced a record that the ring was resized some twelvemonth ago for dame Fowler 's ancestor, '' the jurist remembered, `` And he read the assay Marks with a spy meth and indeed gave a precise particular date of manufacture some hundreds of year prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except assay pestle do n't present the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or sixteenth hundred from the style, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a germ of doubt Mr Matson, '' The justice agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall make enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his clip and went home. Father was in an peckish modality, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A modest one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will pursue you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a fortune to pass, '' he said.

'' Then I shall come back what you lent me and more, a hundred pounds, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis good to learn John but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver block of metal from my elbow room, `` A depositary, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far More than I owed.

I went to see Catherine of Aragon again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his extremity while he sought to pick out reward and her cover was stolen so I found her a cover and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter atmospheric condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't St. John the Apostle, '' she said as I sought to osculate her, `` My oral fissure is foul with the swineherd discharge. ``

'' poor people poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` Claim me as your own. ``

'' Claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the atomic number 26, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with taradiddle of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first of all to you by courier, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any fallal, Francis gave me a all right gaffer ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with tear, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my portion which I admitted to being in surfeit of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of Father-God loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so sorry, I presume too much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her middle to the full of split and incongruous in her filth, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can bang me then that is my fondest wish. ''

I went habitation with the failing luminousness leaving her to gather sufficient grunter around her to keep her warm through the long inhuman night.

'' His Honour jurist Grant wishes to see you King John, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the with child velocity and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do believe young Fowler may birth given it to misfire Maisey Fellows, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you do it. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make inquiry sir, when my decisions are questioned I make interrogation, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may interview Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall post for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall meet at Mr George Ratner 's emporium, a scant base on balls away, '' he ordered, `` Ten sharp mind. ``

I went directly to the George Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wondrous breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the justice greeted me, `` In the back way, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

Miss Fellows was a come across young woman, she strode into the shop on haven Street accompanied by her maid and her female parent, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mum has invited Mr fowler this evening. ``

The justice smiled, `` It is your ring, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very rare, ''

'' A nowadays from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester duomo. '' the justice said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may have been but Mr fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry young woman lad the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand Sudanese pound or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the annulus to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by go they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all ring looked much the same but this was piffling different to those Barrington and I had cast at welt saving grace and when they allowed me the use of the glassful and I also examined the gang, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain, I expected a dazzling array of ball field but this was simply unembellished, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Charles Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could cumulate my thoughts.

The judge gave missy Fellows a receipt for the mob and asked that he might interview Mr fowler later, and so it was that with the fowler gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the front of the evaluator he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro seal, '' I averred, `` See the nick along the bottom billet, I have stared at that enough time. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' Miner, cartridge extractor, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own hoop I said, `` See here, a gang I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro impression. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their book of account and peered in them and then at the ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro check office stamp, and that is no oldtimer, indeed the two band could cause come from the same plaster cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The swain one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the handmaiden quarters at the Emporium, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by deputy Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the comrade'dwelling and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the mansion when the judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to wonder you about an antique ash gray ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the Judge announced as he pulled the gang from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall consultation her, get along. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and assemble me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad companionship and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The evaluator was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of citizenry were already there and I became aware that the tourist court was rapidly filling, the older Mr Fowler father of Francis Fowler was in the seats behind me looking grim and at once wild and disturbed, and then when I was seated for a half hour the Judges salesclerk ordered `` All rise, '' and the jurist appeared.

'' If it pleases the starting time typeface is Rex versus Fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant lilliputian lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me work Franics John Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the cells escorted by reserves the judge wasted no clip, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon Miss Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a phratry heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us address Mrs Fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the lawyer complained.

'' Silence ! '' the jurist ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this gaffer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the clerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the ma'am Catherine II stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four assay mark. '' the judge asked.

'' My overlord, '' the attorney insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient assay office staff and one can not tell apart in which hundred a piece was marked, merely the yr from zero to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The judge replied, `` And when did the Truro function cease to stump with the Cornwallis stamp and get to use Truro. ``

'' I have no estimate, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you edify us, '' the Judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique ring and lied also that peeress Catherine stole the ringing '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis Saint John Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine II formerly Lady Catherine of Aragon Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on tutelage of stealing also on Friday, I shall have applications programme for bail for both affair in my William Chambers after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the occupation of the trial of Manningham, Jehovah Grey 's gamekeeper for stealing of pheasants and Mr. lavatory for the theft of a gymnastic horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at distance the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail bond for Catherine, `` How much do you offer up ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will do, '' he said, `` I shall send word, but she will need clothing so drop your ten guinea fowl wisely. ``

I had picayune prison term so I a few servants smocks were all I could prevail, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the reserves brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bail '' I announced and when I paid the bond the sentry duty released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean gabardine, `` And where shall you involve me ? ``

'' dwelling house ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then admit me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had pecuniary resource indeed but she was unwelcome in any store so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and soft leather skidder then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arch and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her smock she slipped into the breast deep crystal clear water.

She stooped with water supply up to her shoulder soaping herself and washing herself and the resplendent pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood proud and firm bodied with not an ounce of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her tit like as unadulterated perfection, just the crisscross of the whip trails to plague her as the filth slipped away and my humanness stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to spring back out delightedly swishing her long yellow straw like hair like a juicy retriever dog, and yet with rich use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge breastwork curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water and used the key to unlock her chastity belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and Thomas More of spattering and frolicking before she felt sportsmanlike and donned a new gabardine and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall acquire you home plate, '' I said, `` Your forefather will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a Somalian shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging home but when motion were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and servant, and as was the practice I paid for two rooms and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servant that evening and when I retired following a good-time but serious eventide with some travelling salesmen and merchant I found her prepare in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her heat aroused me and I explored her entirely with my finger's breadth and with particular care I explored where the chastity belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her pegleg wide of the mark and after exploring her indistinctness with my fingers eased the diffuse crease asunder and eased the royal head of my humanness into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter column inch by quarter inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of ardent and wet and tight, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passion until my potency returned and I entreated her to take into account me to delight her joy once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many more Somalian shilling for easy lay, I do conceive you owe me the good manners of allowing my attentions a few Thomas More fourth dimension. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to curb my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authority that the painful sensation subsides with recitation, '' I informed her, `` And with my outlay I should bear a thoroughly few insertions before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistor was futile and pressed home my humanity against her, and when pressed her unmanliness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft folds enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her pocket-sized pilus around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher sheet of Heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be rectify, '' she whispered, `` Now pretend your dear and I shall be subject matter indeed. ``

We conjoined more in making love than passionateness and in a while her rage overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted plenteous amount seminal fluid within her to slake her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any lawsuit you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our steal with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the promise of two hundred quid changed his mind, but the Earl was more sticky, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the ma'am Catherine 's clothes for the sum of 15 shillings !

The Reverent Nathan Bailey agreed to tie us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham assize in the Court house.

Catherine of Aragon chose to wear her red velvet garb with white contingent and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should consume been, to the stupor and consternation of the hick clustered around the courtroom who expected her to be good naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public rump and not taken to the cellular phone until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the nictation of an eye.

'' The pillowcase of Catherine, formerly Lady Catherine the Great Howarth. '' the clerk announced.

'' Is there a slip for the criminal prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cellphone, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the Lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simpleton misunderstanding, and I 'm certainly Mre Fellows and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girl and release her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the spectator box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your anchor ring, Mr Matson, please assure the court where you obtained it. '' The justice asked, once I had sworn the truth to tell, `` The one on your finger. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' show me, '' The justice insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Fowler one, did you make water that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for noblewoman Catherine the Great, it was engraved `` With my making love HM, but the words have been worn off to provide but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is clear the ring is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a later date perhaps you may leave the Court with no smear upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my Carriage, Barrington had offered his avail once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic style of a land valet with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably wise equipage pulled by a matched span of grey,

The Earl Howarth 's butler rushed out in agitation war cry `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` ma'am Catherine II ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' expect just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never address again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a evenhandedly cost, '' he asserted, `` But I can not have you or her, ''

She set her expression like Isidor Feinstein Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative enquiries and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a veritable song as it was in an unfashionable style, and the trustees of the tardily Mable Sempter needed a flying sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday visitation, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the indulgence of the Judge so on the Saturday we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the justice came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must represent the time which their perjurious instruction brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis fowler shall be sentenced to two century whip and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall run one hundred thong at solstice and equinox and shall suffice ma'am Catherine of Aragon who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial electrical capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and escort were set, pull the wool over someone's eyes flurries set the food market place white like fantasy world and made the level slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in first gear, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the stage, she was dressed in her cloak and her sound winter gown with her hands manacled but as soon as she was under the light beam they hauled her paw above her caput, and tore her ness off her.

'' That was the worst bit John, '' Catherine II said, `` When they tore my gown off, I had no approximation, no estimate at all. '' she said, `` All the hick staring at what is private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whiplash and when Lady Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he deplumate away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a sexual abstention belt protected her modestness, as the scroll of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in subterfuge terror and all was not well with the whipping as her soft physique split almost the inaugural blow.

There was consternation, and the justice Hiram Ulysses Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My noblewoman, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your heart to permute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suited rate nightly whilst the gentlewoman fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to repay from the antipode with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate mentation, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the point, `` In a spirit of compassion Lady Catherine has agreed that the whip shall be applied at her home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Henry Watson Fowler should be spared transport and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to dish out the cop. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in routine brought up, the bumpkin lost interest but the maids became interested in their turn as his jacket crown and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a roach round his handcuff paw, and then his rear of barrel were hauled down and the foremost blow was administered across his left shoulder and then a second across his rightfulness shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or More snow were landed and then in the personal manner of such multitude he began to break down, but it was not until after the commencement XX C were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's buttocks that the titter of laugh for as the C landed so his manhood found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many standards it was both short and fat it caused immense merriment, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blows continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square toes, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a foul sense of rascality the whips-man flashed the whip between Fowler peg and bass into his loins and all at once his humanity became animated and spewed forth such a disgusting greyish means, like three day old milk, that stout women fainted.

'' To consider I might bear married that ? '' Catherine the Great gasped, `` I own six month in a pig sty was in all way of life preferable. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the gust unadministered he was carried away senseless to the Gaol to recover before a boost sitting a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first and we travelled rest home by rig driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to receive permanent employ with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine the Great was despondent although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still dysphoric and I asked about it.

'' I want don and mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver