This account is not intended to be historically precise, but it is supposed to be humourous.

A Royal involution

The planning had taken various calendar month. diplomatic exchanges had been lengthy and wearisome and now the happy union between Prince Harold of Moronia and Princess Lilla of Transvallia had been arranged to cement the union between the two body politic after twenty years or so of sporadic war.

Neither side really wanted a war, but neither would accept peace over the scrap urban center and province of Dunn. Basically neither incline wanted the money pit but internal pride got in the way.

Princess Lilla was not pleased,"Why do I have to marry that dork,"she demanded.

"Because you are a girl, you do not stimulate any sisters and as far as we know Harold isn't gay,"her mother sighed.

"Why do I have to marry Lilla ?"Harold asked.

"To end the war,"his Padre the King explained,"Don't you read the paper ?"

"Can't my sister marry one of their Princes ?"Harold asked.

"Only if you marrying Lilla doesn't piece of work out,"The Rex added.

Harold was not happy, he had seen Lilla's portrait and he knew the artist, and knew the princess would be twenty kilos heavier, 20 cm curt and at least twice as wide as the photo, why even his own father's portrait showed a fine upstanding hulk of of a man not the fat old goofball he had now become.

Lilla was not happy, crammed in to a pusher for two day with her ladies in waiting was no fun at all. She much preferred the castle where she lived, and she especially liked winding up footmen trying to get them uncomfortable as she flashed some second joint or a booby so they got an embarrassing woody.

Jayne her confidante was doing her easily to sway Lilla that Harold was a good catch,"Look it's just the marriage nighttime and then you can screw anyone you like, you won't have to be a Virgo the Virgin anymore."

"That bird's well and truly vanish,"Lilla admitted.

"Oh fick,"Jayne gasped,"It's the kickoff thing they'll check."

"You did recognize didn't you ? Egbert, the fit gardener ?"Lilla asked.

"I thought you just tossed him off,"Jayne protested.

"No, full 20 centimeters,"Lilla grinned,"Pulled out though, no babies."

"hoot,"Jayne cursed,"You should possess said and we could sustain tried to get you stitched up again."

"Too late,"Lilla laughed,"If you are so disturbed you had better pretend to be me for the checks."

"I look nothing like you,"Jayne protested.

"They will only stimulate seen that awesome painting,"Lilla pointed out,"Stick my cap on and no one will be any the wiser."

Jayne was not too thrilled,"What happens if I end up married to Prince Harold ?"

"Really, do you seriously think he will project you ?"Lilla asked.

Jayne was hurt but she knew she was over weight, and short so maybe Lilla had a point.

The carriage thundered on as the shopping mall vehicle of a xx bearing convoy of sentry go, soldiers, courtiers and every other sort of hanger on you could think of.

They arrived at the Castle and were invited in."Welcome to castling Moronia,"Herr Dorkmeister the door custodian welcomed them,"Take a shit and I shall evidence his highness you are here."

"How rude,"Jayne exclaimed.

"He's a mind reader,"Lilla replied as she made a bee line for the lavatories. Jayne was left to explain the swap to the government activity officials who were not exactly pleased but had to harmonise to go along with it.

The King welcomed them in his common soldier apartment,"Ah Lilla my dear, even more beautiful than your portrait,"he simpered.

"And you so hansom, just like on the Moronia coins."Jayne replied.

"Cut the Isaac Mayer Wise quip,"Lilla whispered.

"I see we portion a signified of humor,"the King sighed,"My parson came up with the married couple plan not I, and to be honest Harold is not keen."

"Oh,"Jayne queried.

"He told me to stuff the unit thought up my ass,"the Billie Jean Moffitt King continued,"And that's before he saw you so, well, don't be too disappointed."

"Oh,"Jayne replied.

"Not that you are not beautiful,"the king lied."I should marry you in a moment."

"But you are married,"Jayne exclaimed.

"Sadly so,"the King admitted.

"I heard that,"the poove snapped as she swept in like an old fashioned battleship sweeping in to port or like half of Mont Blanc suddenly appearing through a doorway."Anyway word is this slut has fucked half the household so establish us the good Lady."

"What ?"Jayne protested.

"appearance us your cunt, we need to check over you are a virgin."the Queen insisted.

Jayne looked one shot, Lilla nodded slightly, so Jayne reluctantly sat down on a couch and with some trouble she raised her long flowing annulus and under skirts so the Queen could watch for a hymen.

The Queen was first to appear. Jayne shivered at the indignity of it. The cool air on her thigh and crotch was exciting, she started to palpate uncomfortably damp.

The Queen's long nailed finger gently separated Jayne's moistened cunt lips, her hymen glistened,"She's entire,"she said,"She's also Lesbian."The Queen paused,"Would you like me to tug my fingers deep in your slit ?"

"Yes,"Jayne said in a tiny whisper."Please !"

"You can occur in now, she's a virgin,"the King shouted and Prince Harold appeared from the face room.

"Oh for fuck sake you must be kidding,"Harold said as he saw Jayne with her skirts up and his mother caressing her genital organ."Tell you what, you tell her her to fuck off and I'll give her lady in waiting one."he said pleasantly.

Lilla was outraged but Harold was fit, seriously fit, so when he grabbed her by the arm she didn't resist, or when her pushed her against a death chair back, or, when her bent her over, even when he lifted her skirts and bared her fundament she did n't protest and even when rammed his peter oceanic abyss inside Lilla's well drawn cunt she forgot to scream, a muffled Ohhhh was the best she could manage.

"Get off her,"the King shouted.

"Not again,"the Queen agreed.

"For fucks sake !"Lilla cried

"Oh it's all gone horribly, ah, right ?"Jayne added.

"What ? never seen anyone fucking before,"Harold asked as he gave Lilla a really good sightedness to,"You can see she was up for it, gagging for it."he added,"Now what you going to do about me marrying Princess HogsFart."

"You are fucking Princess Lilla right now you Moron,"Jayne snapped,"We changed places."

"Then you're even more stupid than you look,"Harold laughed,"Oh fucking bollocks."he added as he realised what this meant.

"VII out of ten,"Lilla said,"You need some work on your chat up communication channel, but I can ferment with that dick."

"So fair my cock with your sass and get me hard again,"Harold ordered.

"That's what Ladies in waiting are for,"Lilla replied but Jayne and the queen regnant had got a bit conduct away and the Queen had three fingers mystifying inside Jayne while Jayne thought she was in heaven.

"suck my putz beef,"Harold said pleasantly.

"That's no way to speak to your mother,"the magnate replied.

"He means this one,"the king replied,"Suck his putz dearest, he gets tetchy if he doesn't get his way.

Jayne had never sucked tool before, and certainly not a scuzzy jism covered shrunken one but she did her best. She briefly considered biting the end off but decided against it, but the view that he was in her power excited her. That's when she started to cum.

"Agghh,"Harold cried as Jayne forgot what she was doing and accidentally almost bit off his dick as she lost in in the purple haze of orgasm.

He pulled out rapidly,"She bit me."

Lilla commiserated, and kissed his cock better,"bettor make sure it still works,"she advised and she lay back and guided it back inside her willing cunt.

"What a fucking butchery,"the King observed,"Where's my mistress when I need her,"Carmella, Carmella, where the fuck are you ?"he cried.

"She's useless the Queen sighed,"You don't illusion becoming an prescribed Royal fancy woman do you ? she asked Jayne.

"Does it pay well ?"Jayne asked.

"No but we can have lots of fun,"the poove suggested.

"What do I have to do ?"Jayne asked.

"Climb on his dick and shut him up,"the fairy suggested

"That's your job,"Jayne countered.

"I have a bad back, and some self respect,"the Queen explained as Jayne saw the sense in it and started to dispatch the big businessman'trousers.

While this was going on, Many many Transvallian bureaucrats and hangers on had clustered around inside and outside the room trying to work out what the ass was going on.

"Your gracious Majesty, Might I enquire What the fuck is going on ?"the Herr Keerstarmer the bravest or stunned one asked.

The King rolled his eyes and explained,"Harold fucked Lilla, so they 're getting married whether they like it or not and this missy who ever she is, is now my official number one schoolma'am and Carmella my former schoolmarm is looking for another job, now fuck off and give us some privacy."

'' I thank you your Gracious loftiness, I shall have got the town crier tell the universe at once, '' Herr Keerstarmer replied

'' Just do one all right field ? '' the King ordered as he looked forward to exploring Jayne 's body inch by column inch when he had had a slight nap to let his dick recover, and the Queen went in to hymeneals mode and started wondering what to wear.

And so the nations of Moronia and Transvallia were reconciled and peace reigned for respective year until the Russians invaded .