As I visited with my first cousin, a man as perverted as myself, he asked me,"What's the weirdest matter you ever had your dick stuck in ?"
Immediately, I remembered the incest with my sis ; jacking off with a multifariousness of things wrapped around my spear ; a couple of Capricorn, which fit my cock about the same as my mingy slit sister-in-law ; and…. The cantaloupe.

Leo already knew about the incest with Mae and Jody ... he was the one who started it all. We took play with Mae many times, but I don't she ever let Leo get into her step-in. I got there… but that 's not what this tarradiddle is about.

As we grew up, Leo and I often compared the size of our growing cock, and would receive a race to see who could cum first when we 'd pose our heart. We'd try out jacking our rods with rolls of toilet paper ; with the composition board centers pulled out. Plastic bags with lotion in them, then wrapped by a flannel worked bang-up. There's no telling how many of our dads'condoms we slipped on to jack off ; and we always compared the results… but that 's not what this fib is about.

I did n't get laid the goats until after I was married, and tried it just for the underworld of it. I'd apprehension an opportunity when the bride would be gone shopping or to one of the kid's house and pass for the goat shed. It did n't take long to train off-white and Polly to stand and eat from the feed bucket while I used their modest cunt for my pleasance. I don't keep my sexual experiences a secret from Leo, so he knows about the nurse, too… but that 's not what this floor is about.

Leo knows I 'm still pounding my sister-in-law 's snatch every prospect I get. She 's had all three of her shaver by caesarean section ; so her pelvic arch has never been forced by delivering a baby. Plus, she can mould her wild cunt muscle like virtually men have never experienced. She 14years jr. than me and her married man is a icky son-of-a-bitch. I really think she's in love with me and would leave his sorry ass in a 2d, if I was destitute and available… but that 's not what this tale is about, so ... ....

I began by telling Leo about my crony, Paul….
We started the first grade together and graduated side of meat by side. We both had former brother, so we weren't too surprised when we discovered how great it felt to jacklight off, and we did that ( side by side ) for yr. Who really knows ; if Paul was still alive, we may still be doing it together.
Paul's dick was slim than mine and had a slight, upwards curve. Mine was fatter, but about the same length.

Somewhere along the line, after Leo had explained the birds and bees to Mae and me, Paul and I made her little twat the object of our joy. Eventually, big sis joined in, too.

During high school, both of us snagged lady friend that didn't hesitate to fuck ; quite often we would fill both seats in Paul's old Ford with naked body, but they wouldn't workplace a barter with their trade good. My Sharon was not bad, but I always wanted to plow Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie's snatch, too.

My car was too small for the four of us, but Sharon learned how to close up up her skinny, slight butt and give me a fantastic blow job, when it was just the two of us.

Alice Paul's mom moved to another town when we were in our senior year. His erstwhile brother, Boche, had already spent clock time in the US Army and had his own flat, so Saul moved in with him to finish his senior yr. He remained there after commencement, until he and Christie got married.
Anyway, moving in with Hun had another definite advantage…It didn't take long to convince the young lady that a bed worked ripe than a car seat.

So it happened that our gallon got summer task as advocate at a church refugee camp about XL knot away from home. They were able to fare home on weekends, but Jerry and his girlfriend had the apartment, so Saul and I were banished on Saturday and Lord's Day. Those ass in the old Gerald R. Ford got a good physical exertion on Saturday nights and Billy Sunday afternoons.

Now, I'm not gon na say that we were entirely celibate while the young lady were gone, but sometimes, well slit with a trustworthy mouth was hard to find.
One evening during the week, Paul made a remark,"I'm so Goddamn horny I could screw a watermelon."
I laughed, but got to thinking… all we had done for the last several months was fuck some rattling twat,"You're one weirdo female parent fucker, Paul the Apostle. But let's go for a ride."

I knew of a large, commercial-grade garden just outside of town. I stopped my VW mallet just long enough for us to jump out and grab three cantaloupes, each. Apostle of the Gentiles wanted to do it why we were stealing the melons and I told him,"We got ta piece of ass something tonight."

We only took the two ripest ones ino the apartment. It would still be three or four minute before Jerry would get off work, so I took a knife and barely cut through the outer rind. When the 3inch circuit came off, I plunged the tongue into the essence and twisted it around, making a hole about a half inch across. It was easily reamed out with my thumb, to the size hole my firmly rooster would fit through.

Saint Paul laughed as he watched, but when I pushed ol'Fat Boy through, and down into the quick come cavity, he started working on the other cantaloupe. Before yearn, both of us were acting like those two elemental school day boys who used to hide behind the dumpster ; and see who could scud our wad the highest.

It was haphazard and made a wad, but I finally emptied my load inside. Paul got so tickled that he couldn't deck his sperm cell in his melon, so he pulled his slimy rod out and finished by hand.
We were cleaning up the kitchen flooring and about to wash our putz and balls, when Paul burst with laugh,"I'm gon na peel this piece of tail Cucumis melo cantalupensis, cut it up in chunks, and put it in the fridge. Jerry's been a son-of-a-bitch lately and he's gon na love eating what I just fucked."

Well, we cleaned both of the fruits, put them in to cool, and left.
Sure enough, after we had our sonic burgers and fries, we went back to the flat to find Kraut & his arse buddy, Charles the Great, watching TV and eating chilled cantaloupe.
We quickly said,"Hi,"and excused ourselves back outside… God it was funny.

To this day, anytime St. Paul and I get together, we have a big chortle about fucking cantaloupes and feeding them to his brother.
He'll kill us if he ever finds out .