This is a story of cursory, unprotected sex, and is a work of fable. In real life, use a safe, damnit ! Unwanted babies, HIV and all sorts of less intimate diseases await the cretin who `` souse his wick '' or `` rides the rod '' without protection.

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Shooting blank : PlentyOfCupid ( MF, yardbird, oral, impreg, dependable )

by Krosis of the Collective

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Author 's musical note : This may or may not be based on a true story that may or may not ingest been emailed to me.

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I sat on the toilette, trying to get his cum out of me. How could I let this bump ? I was going to get meaning !

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A couple of month previous ...

I finished my profile on PlentyOfCupid and reviewed it : Female, 35 class old, of average build, brunette, no kids, does n't smoke, looking for a short- or long-run family relationship with a 30-40 year old male. hobby : tenting, scorecard games, movies.

God, I hated trying to sum myself up with a pageboy of Christian Bible. It was like writing up a resume to use for a job, but at to the lowest degree to the highest degree bad jobs did n't follow you home, nor did they change by reversal you down based on your facial expression. Well, at least in my line of work ( veterinary assistant ).

I saved the Sir Frederick Handley Page and started perusing compatible profiles. Too curt ... has kids ... too pretty ( yes, that 's a matter ) ... this one is ... what the fucking ? The guy 's visibility picture was a photograph of a goose that had been disemboweled. Ugh.

I shut the computing device down and went to bed.

-- -

I woke up in the morning ... alone, of trend. My fellow of two years had received a job offer to move to Ireland, of all places, and did not take me with him. Four months had passed, and given that I was n't a very social person I had been single that entire metre and I was getting pretty goddamned horny !

I checked my email. There was a subject matter from a guy who wanted to tie me up and wedge a feather up my ass. I considered it for a minute before deleting it. Ugh.

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Over the succeeding few calendar week I would go out with the occasional guy who was n't a weirdy over the PoC messaging, but we never seemed to hit it off. The message I received ranged from the crass ( `` Hey baby, wan na lactate my dick ? '' ) to actual verse, but by the clock time I messaged that last one backrest he had already closed his accounting. The thoroughly single went fast.

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Another week went by and I was getting pretty antsy. After being used to almost daily sex, going cold turkey was not enjoyable. I had to replace the batteries in my vibe every couple of weeks !

Finally, I spotted `` PaleWriter '', a 39-year-old guy who looked to be in pretty good human body, was attractive ( but not too attractive ), and was in the next town over, where I worked. Also, no nipper !

I stalked his profile for a bit before deciding to make the first move myself. But what to type ? `` Hey, wan na fuck ? '' My nethers said yes but my learning ability said no. `` What 's your pet pic ? '' Lame.

Finally, I just quickly typed, `` Great smile '' and hit Send. I instantly regretted that. What the Hades was I thinking ? Great smile ? Ugh.

The thing about online geological dating is that you do n't love when someone will get back to you. Some people check their messages a lot, and some not so a great deal. I kept the site up on the screen and went and fixed myself some dinner.

After eating I found that the guy had replied ! `` Thanks ! '' he said, `` I like your smile too. Where was that picture taken ? ``

My principal pic was a selfie from when I had visited Europe. I had really enjoyed myself while I was there so it was a literal smiling and that pic was my favorite. I replied with the particular, asking some more about him.

Over the following couple of Clarence Shepard Day Jr. we exchanged a dozen messages. He was n't much of a camping bus but he did wish card games, and who does n't like movies ? He had no pet but he did like quat, and I had a cat !

It was n't have it away at first gear sight, but it looked forebode. I suggested we meet at a topical anaesthetic chocolate shop the future day. madam, always contact an Internet day of the month for the first metre in a public place !

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I recognized him as he pulled into the parking lot driving a blue dodging caliber. As he got out of his car I called to him and he paused as his heart took in all of me.

He was taller than I thought he 'd be, and almost certainly I was inadequate than he expected ... I 'd heard that a lot from the men I met online, as my visibility pic only showed my brass and shoulders. I did n't lie about having an average body-build, but my 5'2 frame made me look ... squatter ? ... than a taller cleaning lady with the same measurements. The fact that I had declamatory breast did n't help.

However, his fount lit up with that great smiling and he called my name in greeting. We went into the chocolate shop and chatted for a bit.

Again, we did n't hit it off famously, but it was n't bad either. After a bit he suggested going for a walk around a local anaesthetic park and I agreed. I felt pretty comfortable with him by that dot, so I took a chance.

We chatted some more on the walking. He had a goodness signified of humor, though corny. We liked some of the Sami flick, and we suggested some of our favorites to each other.

Soon we were back at our railway car. I had n't felt `` the spark '' with him so I said good night. He looked thwarted but took it graciously.

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Another week went by and the picking were lose weight. Too far away ... bald ... five dogs ? ! Ugh.

Finally, I dropped PaleWriter a line. Would he wish to go to a movie ?

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We watched an action thriller but he did n't try to put his arm around my articulatio humeri or cop a feel in the dark theater of operations. We chatted for a bit and once he dropped me off at my car I said goodnight and headed menage. Another tolerably particular date ; not bad, but not safe either.

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Another week of disappointments ( including a guy who looked absolutely nothing like his profile pic meeting me for coffee and proceeding to neglect me while texting ) left me extremely frustrated. I messaged PaleWriter again. Dinner at my place ?

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thing went better this clock time. He loved my lasagna and my pussycat Tiger liked him. We played some gin wino and watched some TV, but still no sparkle. I had decided that after the display ended I would ask him to go home and then I would go to bed, alone once again.

Then I saw it : a dark movement along the baseboard near the TV. A black eye ! Where was tiger ? Nowhere to be seen, of course.

PaleWriter had n't seen the mouse yet, but had turned toward me when I stiffened. He followed my gaze and ...

... and the black eye charged ! Or at least it headed in our general counseling. I screamed, `` Eee ! ``

PaleWriter was up in a jiffy, grabbing the candy tin from the side table, upturning it so its contents fell onto the floor, and slamming the container over top of the rodent. It was trapped !

'' Do you possess something savourless that wo n't deform ? '' he asked. After a few moments I could move again and grabbed my cutting board from the kitchen. He carefully tipped the tin a little, slipped the cutting board under the svelte gap, and then slid it forward until the lip of the upside down tin was fully covered by the board. He then lifted the hale affair up ( making me go `` Eee '' again ) and took it over to the back door. I opened it up and he went outside.

I closed the door behind him and watched through the window. He twisted and then spun around, tilting the top of the tin toward him as he did and sending the mouse flying out of my K with centrifugal force !

When he got back in the house I jumped him.

PaleWriter was definitely a lot better in bed than at day of the month. He went down on me, juicing me up nicely before he slid a condom onto his gracious 7 '' cock and fucked me silly with it. I did n't cum -- I usually do n't, requiring a lot of clitoral foreplay -- but it felt good.

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After that he came over pretty much every day and we fucked every fourth dimension. After a few days he mentioned that he had had a vasectomy so we really did n't need to use prophylactic, but he understood that I did n't get it on him that well so he 'd proceed to use them for as foresightful as I wanted. I appreciated that.

I let him know that we were n't really a skilful match but we could have fun for a while. He seemed okay with that ... what guy would n't ?

He never tried to put his prick in me without a condom on, not even a small. This really helped me to trust him. After a few workweek when I visited his billet he pointed me to a piece of paper on the sustenance room table.

'' It 's from my doc, '' he said.

My roue ran cold as I thought about what it could say : `` venereal wart ? HIV positive ? '' I picked up the paper and read it. `` Lab outcome : fill out evacuation. '' What ?

'' It 's my sperm test from a few weeks after my vasectomy. thought you would want to see it, '' he said.

Relief washed over me. What an idiot this guy was ! What did he think I was going to think when he told me he had a Dr. 's note ? Men.

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Despite the lab report we continued to use condoms. By this distributor point we had been seeing each other for a couple of months.

One night we went to bed together and I was feeling frisky than usual. As he reached for a condom packet boat I climbed astride his rose hip and fret my puss lips on the tip of his bare hard cock.

He looked surprised at this, lying there while holding the safety mail boat. I managed to get the head of his rooster between my pussy lips. I was quite wet that night !

'' Um, '' he said, `` condom ? ``

In resolution I pushed my consistency back harder at his cock. Half of it slipped up inside me. Being almost phobic about getting pregnant, I had never actually had sex without a condom before. It felt salutary ! I could actually feel the warmth of his penis inside me.

He dropped the safety onto the bed next to us and put his hands on my hips. His center were filled with lustfulness, and it only spurred me on. I raised my hip joint a bit to get the right angle and then slid all the way down, burying his cock deep inside me. Again I felt the strange, wonderful fondness of his hide caressing my insides, the sensation no longer deadened by a rubber sheathe.

I moved on top of him, feeling his stopcock slide in and out as I humped this sexy man. I could n't trust I had never tried unprotected sex before, not even during my period when it was safest. I had been missing out ! It felt so good !

His hands moved to my dummy, his fingers lightly pinching my pap. He was pretty honest with his hired hand. I increased my tempo.

'' I 'm getting close, '' he warned me.

I felt my nipples harden under his fingers when I heard that. I continued to bounce.

His eyes roamed my body as I rode him. This was so fucking hot !

'' I 'm gon na cum. ``

Bless him ! Even now, right when most men would n't handle, he was warning me so I could slip one's mind off and put the condom on him.

I trusted him, and I was really fucking horny. I got my face close to his and slid up and down on his cock even faster. I could feel his turncock first to swell inside me.

'' I 'm ... cumming ! '' he called out, and I pressed my lips to his, kissing him passionately as I felt his cock pounding rich inside me.

A warm, wet sensation filled me where I had never felt anything like it before. In my mind 's eye I saw his hard peter spurting hot, white semen deep inside me. At that thought I came, hard.

'' U-uhhhh ! '' I gasped into his mouth. My hips pressed down, my ripe, make body trying to get his prick as far inside me as possible as his cum flooded my depths.

I heard him oink and his cock throbbed deep inside me again and again. I continued to cum, my body urging the warm centre deeper inside my unplumbed reproductive system.

Finally we both stopped cumming and I collapsed onto his chest, gasping.

After a couple of minutes my mind started to work again, and then I realized what I had just done, and why I had been so hornlike, so weak minded as to chance having unprotected sex. I was ovulating ! Also, being in my mid-30 's, my body 's biological clock was ticking very loudly, and I had n't been able to tune up it out this time.

I pulled off of his stopcock and rushed out of the room, heading for the bathroom. I sat on the bathroom, trying to get his cum out of me. How could I let this happen ? I was going to get pregnant !

After a while I could n't get any more of his cum out of me and I had calmed down enough so that I could take back to bed. He was already at peace. Typical.

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The next day I told him how apprehensive I had been that I was going to get pregnant. He just gave me a wry smile and reminded me that there was no way that could happen because he was shooting blanks, but if I was uncomfortable or diffident then we 'd continue using condoms.

What a great guy !

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The side by side Night I practically tore his clothes off instead of watching TV on the couch.

He pulled my jeans and panties off and asked if I wanted him to grab a condom. I was still ovulating, and combining that, my ticking biologic clock, and my renewed reliance in him, I said no.

He was all ready to go, easily sliding his hard, unprotected dick into my fertile wet cunt once more. I again marveled at the impression of skin on hide as his marvellous hot dick filled me up.

This time was a fast, grueling fuck on the living room floor. He rammed into me again and again, immobile and faster. I could feel an orgasm rising from deep within me, just needing one thing to set it free ...

He grunted, thrusting his rooster hard and holding it as deep as possible inside me as he came. As I felt his hot cum stir into the core of my being I cried out, my dead body shaking in orgasm, which was amazing because normally I needed to meet with my button to cum. But prior to the previous Night I had never had a man cum inside me unprotected. It was wonderful !

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We never used a condom again. We would fuck practically every night, and every time he left his cum soaking deep inside me.

When my period arrived I was relieved. Even with the combine I had placed in my `` fuck buddy '' there was a small region of me that was afraid that I was being played. With the comer of `` Aunt Flo '' all my remaining dubiousness disappeared.

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Over the next month we continued to sleep together like rabbits. I rode him in his bed one weekend afternoon and he fucked me from behind when we had a shower to clean up afterwards. For an honest-to-goodness guy he had some stamina !

Weekdays, weekends, even Hallowe'en. He fucked me against a bulwark, lifting my witch costume 's skirt and sliding his knockout cock into me again and again until we both came.

I orgasmed pretty practically every prison term he shot his hooey into me. My body loved the feeling of that warm message deep interior, some base instinct tricked into thinking it was getting the stuff that makes babies even though my genius knew that was n't what was happening. At some brute floor we were n't witting of, our bodies were trying to make a baby together.

When I started to ovulate again I suggested we spend the entire weekend in bed. He must hold filled me with his cum a dozen metre over that weekend, and I orgasmed hard every time.

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'' The eatage is always greener on the early slope, '' they say, and I still considered PaleWriter and myself to not be a good match. The sex was majuscule, but that 's not all that makes a relationship, you know ?

I had kept my PoC story open, and about a hebdomad later I had been contacted by a rather handsome fellow. I informed PaleWriter that I was breaking affair off with him, and reminded him that we had agreed that it was only temp. He understood and did n't argue or anything. What a Nice guy ! If it did n't work out with this new fella I 'd take PaleWriter back.

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My next geological period was late but I did n't really think there was an topic until another couple of weeks had passed. I bought a gestation run and it confirmed that I had been knocked up ! I had n't had sex with the new guy yet so it had to possess been PaleWriter !

I texted him and he replied saying he was out of town but there was no way I could be pregnant from him. I told him it had to be his and he said he 'd text me when he got back in a few days.

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Five days passed with no striking from PaleWriter. I called him but it said his telephone set act was out of service ? ! I had a bad feeling.

I jumped in the car and rushed over to his place. surely enough, his townhouse had a For Rent sign in front of it. I called the owners of the plaza but they said they could n't evidence me where PaleWriter had gone because he had n't even narrate them !

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I never found him. I 'm sitting here now, Tiger lying across my growing belly, purring. I 'm pro-choice but I would never make an abortion myself.

35 and significant, and after the maternity leave I 'll have to depart my job to take caution of the infant. Fucking shit !

gentlewoman, do n't just think men when they say they 've had a vasectomy. Apparently it 's really easygoing to talk through one's hat a checkup reputation, and the pleasure of fucking unprotected just is n't Charles Frederick Worth the consequences.

It had been really hot, though ...