Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the doze push on my consternation clock. He was so tired because he had been doing thirty hours a calendar week at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his home plate life. Add in schoolhouse and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the time he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his brother and baby said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to sweep his tooth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his mother 's room and said"good morning"to her before leaving for schooling. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so aloof, there was no rattling connective left."Probably just out of use ”, he told himself. He kissed his female parent goodbye and then left with his Brother for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't talk much. It was n't that they did n't like each early, but Jess and Luke had very fiddling in mutual these Day. They had different friends, Luke being Sir Thomas More of a mixer butterfly ; different tastes in music, Jess listened to more heavy metal and rock, while Luke was more into the pop medicine setting ; etc ... Once they got to shoal, that was it. The car drive there was the most meter they spent with each early in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their earphone the stallion ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. High schooltime had never been"as advertise"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a handful of champion, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling more and more get down, his thinking sometimes turning to suicide. habitation aliveness was ... well it was n't a home anymore ...

"Good dawn Mr. horse ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his tooshie and started on the homework he did n't stop last night. Math was a particularly hard subject for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject for the semester, but at this pointedness that was the last thing on his mind. Staring at the space mainsheet of paper in front of him, his mind started to wander."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no felicity. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone care ? volition my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The bell for the end of home room rang, jolting him back into consciousness."red cent it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a 1 problem.

When the bell rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from schoolhouse ( his brother was in ROTC and stayed for after-school bodily function ), his animal foot to the floor and the radio blaring. medicine had become Jess'only reprieve from his lifetime and he was retreating into it more and more, barely paying attention to anything else. euphony made him feel powerful, made him feel like he had a reason to inhabit. It seemed that the lyrics of the song on the wireless spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him feel happy that individual, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his room. As he was changing into his piece of work uniform, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, dark chocolate-brown hair, electric low-spirited center, was about six animal foot tall, and had slim eubstance. The person staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The oculus of the person in the mirror looked so desolate and empty it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the Light and headed to work.

At work that night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the client, just wanting the night to end so that he could go home and rest. sopor, the one thing and one time of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't feel anything but repose. The next day was Saturday and he did n't have to go to work or school so he could slumber all through the night and well into the first light.

Opening the room access to his menage after work, Jess got a half-hearted"Hi"from his parents. The kind of"hi"that you say out of politeness, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that night, and then went to his room. Turning on his computing machine, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a crowd of spam, but then Jess saw the e-mail. John Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the e-mail, then shut off his computer and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some low sense of hope.


Criticism welcome. Like I said, let me be intimate if I should continue .