ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a drear November night in Yorkshire. Nineteen 30 something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. lighter of Grisegarth signal box on t'capital of the United Kingdom and magnetic north Eastern Railway could be seen for miles.

rider train add up past, headed for Grimsby, engine were off ticktack a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railroad line. Four big driving rack as big as a man and four little 'uns out front. Over 30 class old, fall behind time but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and adjunction beyond.

Next along were Immingham goodness. On footplate were immature Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were engine cleaner, but he's done exam for firefighter and it were his for the first time meter out firing locomotive on long slip, He had been on shunting railway locomotive many fourth dimension after having reached eighteen the age for working on railway locomotive footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were tall, too all-fired fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 family loco, built by George IV Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a smaller cheaper locomotive engine built be Victor Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened railroad train to 40 wagon, 600 tons.

It were maximum load for J39 and Tommy had to mold like a trojan, shovelling coal trying to keep open up steam. He were sweating buckets, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled ember inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the governor one-half unresolved and the valves in wide-cut gear wheel to make Tommy stew. He could have saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened governor but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past times Moresby top to summit box, all signaling off and only two mo down with water supply bobbing in the behind nut of caliber glass, Ted shut regulator and shouted for Tommy to put bouncy steam injector on to fill boiler.

Engine began to pluck up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing photographic plate for a brew.

"tidy sum of time for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody hell, sod me, I mean not bugger me but don't sod me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate driver's in charge and I'm Driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nothing, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a doll let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an purchase order from thee device driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"Buggery's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let pee down and never looked out for signals, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a filthy bugger,"says Tommy as geartrain picked up zip down camber,"But I ‘ ant no selection ‘ as I."

well loco were blowing off steam and piss were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fire door to cool off.

"cum on don't sod about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his whang and slipped his knickers down.

Ted smirked"duet thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's damn red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"Hang on to bloody water max instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankle gripping on to water scoop wheel while Ted eased hs braces off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to reveal a short fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs cock at Tommy's ass but missed half a dozen times when suddely wallop.

Ted cock pressed an inch into Tommy's miserly ass hole as the locomotive engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a direful crashing of busted wood and metal engine reared up at back end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the cushion of his ass cakehole busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the attendant and busted wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to ca-ca sense of it.

There were unwrap bits of pusher all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire doorway lever to open ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever tumbler was jammed but ith the opened position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water gauge lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the illumination. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the knob on the firebox room access lever and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt sick and wanted to laugh at the like time.

"I go to betoken box for principle 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out express engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum brake had stopped it and commodity had run through five signals before hitting limited up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he ease of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and sac watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up gradation to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'collapse,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a cacography,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is rule 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine railwayman, have a brew and go back and if he's dead nick his sentry before some early sodomite does."

"Tha's a thickened sodomite,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"by-blow said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his relief pitcher, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No sod liked him, tight fisted fat lazy motherfucker,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

poor people Tommy never seen a lad porter in a undifferentiated jacket and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the station when he woke up. stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a bang,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"Well go and unbosom passenger fire-eater, he banged his head, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to sodomise I and ne'er kept a face out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ boulder clay auberge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no trouble wi engine and Sid took him to file,"We usually shares double bed drier and fireman together,"says number one wood,"But I pays extra."

"What for a ace way ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a prostitute,"he laughed.

Poor Tommy, he had to kip on floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe forty twelvemonth old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for entirely dark ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"Look why be a Ribes grossularia, sod off and keep our Dolores company why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her tits were straining the seam on her cardigan, her lip were like rubies, her eyes were like, well eyes, one were blue and the other weren't, her hair was gross gold wi black roots, her thigh were summat else and her face, had all the right bits and well thee don't have to count at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm Dolly,"says Dolores.

"Hello Dolly,"says Tommy.

"comic eh ?"she says.

"Nay fireman,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"good, I'm doing cordial reception stage,"says dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got examination on week after next and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's last term,"doll explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me cock for reversal job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"doll says."They told me to say that no matter how big it is,"she admitted.

"swath up and twine thee laughing fishing gear round it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be uncivil,"Dolly says as she grasped his prick firmly.

"Oh nookie !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her apparel and Cardigan Welsh corgi and splattered onto her neck.

"You're nookie useless,"she opined. poor people Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go place be way of Doncaster on score of line being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to excuse why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't sort of bloke to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a dickhead on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to bugger thee more like,"inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any sodomist any meter soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox doorway handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all impeccant like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass hole, fact is he got two ass golf hole now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking surgeon at railroad line Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new calling in carnival as the man we two screw !"

"Bloody the pits,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two cocks ?"he suggested.

"Not that sodomite !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster plant, he saw railway locomotive with omnibus connecter on Tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from snack counter car when he's parched,"Inspector told him.

As lick would have it Ted got septicaemia and died, poor bugger ‘ adn't no one, no phratry or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the union paid for funeral undertaker and for the best secondment helping hand coffin cat's-paw brokers had in blood line out of members subs.

Funeral day and four bloke took some shag and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any clip soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when service started. Priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's finale mate.

"I couldn't pin Ted. Ted were an wretched fat lazy sodomite, a bloody liar and a shit mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ cause he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trouser down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A outstanding belly laugh came from the half twelve or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a tranquillize Word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honest,"Vicar said,"But in twenty years I never heard such an dependable panegyric spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest musical theme what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its punter to kick in than receive.

And Dolly ? She failed the examination and had to affect to British capital as they has lower banner for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .