Back in the 18th 100 a low page visits a jeweller's shop.


"So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a golden dildo, 10 centimetre in girth and 40 centimeters in length and encrusted with diamonds ?"

Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jewelry maker and nodded,"Indeed,"he agreed.

"Well we're correctly out of stock at present squire,"the jewelry maker admitted,"We got tusk and glass, bronze even, but Au with rhombus, well lamentable squire, but there's no demand."

"His highness says he will have you killed if you will not append one,"Buttoni suggested.

"carnival enough, how does Thursday sound ?"

"Why not today ?"Buttoni.

"Got to get to a mould gallant, can't just pour molten gold down some piteous Slovack ‘ s ass hole anymore, health and safety device see ?"the jewelry maker complained

"Are you sure you are a jewelry maker and not the Greenwich Village idiot ?"Buttoni asked.

"Almighty no sir, finis yr I come third base in the settlement changeling contest, but I'm breeding hard for next year."

The jeweller knew a fourth dimension waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a blossom object lesson. Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's be intimate bitch.

Prince Boris or ‘ Prince Charming,'as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent as a bottle screw. Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass.

"When can I expect your master to arrive so I can build a mould ?"the jeweller asked.

"It's for a fair sex you dog !"Buttoni sighed.

"I can do you a good glass one for twenty five guilder,"the jeweller offered,"The skidder we calls it on bill of it being so smooth that it slips in easily."The glass slipper."

"Why so tawdry ?"Buttoni asked.

"Second helping hand, was the wife's mother, bitch like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean."

"Done !"Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the shabu was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of it of any other.

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Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as varlet but he was not too lament on mass thinking he was Charming's buff. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with fille with a talent for saying the wrong matter and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too mad and came in his knickers. He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad motility for the Royal family unit PR wise.

"Your Highness !"he blustered,"I have just had this great idea."

"Not again,"Prince Charming sighed,"What is it this prison term ? Invade Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Dig a tunnel, work up a glider in the garret, slay a dragon ?"

"A ball !"Buttoni cried,"custody a ballock !"

"Baseball, Tennis clump ?"Charming asked.

"No a dance, a big dance, a mask ball, ask for all the eligible bird,"Buttoni suggested.

"Mother tried that,"Charming remembered,"I spent the evening hiding in the loo !"

"But this time we say you met your true love life and she left a love keepsake and you have to ascertain her !"Buttoni enthused.

"And what sort of token ?"Charming asked.

"Her crank dildo !"Buttoni chuckled,"feel !"

Charming looked, he thought it was a magnanimous bottle of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape.

"You have got to be kidding !"he gasped as he saw the monster,"Wow, can you suppose those spoilt pampered simpering frigid bitches female parent tries to handle me off with with that teras inside them !"

"Exactly !"Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his pants as his cock swelled at the thinking of it."And struggling to get the freak inside their tight pink hairless cunts !"Buttoni suggested.

"And hirsute ones Buttoni !"the Prince added.

"Actually it gets even better,"Buttoni chuckled."It's called a"shabu Slipper !"

"Actually,"Charming thought aloud,"With the powerful PR we can bury about having a egg, we'll say it happened at the survive cloak orb !"

"And you'll marry the girl it fits ?"Buttoni suggested.

"If she's pretty !"Charming laughed,"But seriously.

"So shall we ?"Buttoni asked hopefully

"senior high school five !"Charming agreed.


"We will say I met my true up honey at the masked orb and she lost her Glass Slipper,"Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast,"And whosoever it fits I shall marry."

"Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you,"King Harald suggested.

"It is pocket money father not working capital account,"Charming lied.

"Capital, I mean excellent !"King Harald cried,"I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you."

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They put a small ad in the Bayerisch bugleweed the topical anesthetic free ads news sheet and opened a belittled shop class on Munchen street with a waiting region and a cubicle with a bed. Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the thigh length black leather flush with gold buckles sorting of gave the secret plan away.

"Hello, I think I might be the girl he's looking for ?"Helga one of the tart from Madame L'Oiseaux's formation stated boldly.

"Indeed, come in through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph,"Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise.

"Is this yours my dear ? '' Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimetre long dildo menacingly.

"You bloody profane !"Helga cried,"I thought you entail a shoe !"and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.

"Feisty,"Buttoni observed ruefully.

"Wonderful,"Charming sighed,"Maybe we should make slayed a dragon."

"Yes,"Buttoni agreed,"Or maybe we are on the wrong tack ?"

Just then a beautiful Pres Young missy stepped into the store,"Is this where we try the slipper on ? '' she asked,"Only Mummy sent me."

"Actually it's a dildo,"Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.

"Really ?"she gasped,"I did wonder where I lost mine."

"What ?"Charming asked.

"Oh yes my good Quaker Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes in conclusion winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine."the girl admitted.

"Your in effect protagonist ?"Buttoni asked.

"Oh yes we shared a way at school, and a bed on stale nights."the girl explained,"But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maidservant Hetta to fist me when I get PMT."

Charming looked unsteady on his base, a blood vessel in his brow pulsed wildly,"Your highness, are you all right ?"the missy asked.

"He has just cum in his drawers,"Buttoni explained,"He has this problem."

"It really doesn't topic I'm gay too !"the girl admitted,"Can I try it ?"

"Yes why not."Charming agreed.

"You're Prince Charming aren't you ?"the girl declared."Why are you wearing such a pillock disguise ?"

"He is shy,"Buttoni explained,"But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay ?"

"Why not, I don't phantasy men, he doesn't fancy woman, sounds stark !"the missy explained,"And with a nice big dildo to play with even better."

"Well then,"Butoni produced the looking glass dildo from a poke and suggested,"What do you conceive of that ?"

"My god !"the daughter agreed,"It's huge !"

Her optic were wide-eyed with greed as Buttoni handed it to her,"It's sooo much nicer than mine !"she said."So lovely and smooth out !"

She looked round,"You don't expect ; You're not going to learn are you ? You filthy swine ! Well at to the lowest degree lock away the door first."

And with that she sat down on the level, pulled up her copious skirts and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.

"Do you have to learn ?"she asked.

"Absolutely,"Buttoni insisted as the fille tried to get a finger up inside herself.

"Oh well do something useful then, can you nurse my bosom ?"she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to reveal her impressive boobies.

Buttoni bent to the labor,"And you, I do have two of them."she reminded them."One each."

The Prince too leaned over the female child and began to suck her nipple.

"Ohhh that's sooo upright !"she cooed as commencement one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt.

"That's three fingers,"she said,"Keep on."

She was frigging herself urgently now, four fingerbreadth slipped inside her, then the whole of her tiny hand as she fisted herself.

The lady friend gasped."Hetta usually takes over now, she has a fully grown hand than me, but can we try it ?"

Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl.

She pressed it against her bitch but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her bitch was dilated enough to get hold of her fist the dildo was much too wide of the mark to go more than than 3 centimeters inside her.

"I need some lube."she said."Do you have any ?"

"Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help ?"Buttoni suggested between sucks.

"Er yes."Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his knee breeches."help yourself."

The girl looked at Charming's long pinkish celestial pole. A small drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end,"Er sorry,"Charming apologised."False alarm."

The female child smeared pre cum over the dildo."Why don't you shoot your cargo over the dildo to really lubricate it ?"she suggested.

"Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, adulterate your cunt and all that ?"Buttoni suggested.

"Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that !"the girl explained.

"Damn you !"Prince Charming exclaimed."I am not gay, look I'll show you."

He lunged forward, tripped over his knee breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor.

"Ummm, you smell like a missy,"she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his putz until he finally found her cunt.

His dick slipped easily into her velvety kidnapping. He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to watch the clock or pay for it.

"Oi get on with it !"the young lady complained,"Shoot your consignment and let your page have a go !"

"Be quiet down I was enjoying that !"Charming exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to enjoy it,"the girl complained,"Another ten bit then all right field ?"

Charming was not too certainly he could have on for ten minutes. The plenty of Bavaria swept through his nous. He was an Eagle soaring above the ceiling summit. He was in heaven with the holy man. He was swimming in the Joseph Banks Rhine. He was cumming. A glorious torrent of cum burst from his dick and saturated her parts.

"Ohhhhh."he gasped.

"Oooooohhhh,"she responded.

"Will it fit ?"Buttoni asked,"Or shall I have a go ?"

"Of trend it wont fit you moron,"the girl explained,"Look I'm gay. I lost my moral excellence to a daughter. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in strawman of witnesser, I'm home free."

"What ? you wanted me to fuck you ?"Prince Charming demanded.

"Give the boy an apple, got it in one.,"the girl replied.

"Do you have no respect for me at all ?"Charming enquired.

"No. None."she replied.

"Buttoni, your knife please,"Charming asked.

"What do you require that for ?"the girl asked.

"Why to enlarge your cunt if you can't take the dildo."he replied.

"All right, I'll try again."she agreed but no thing what status she tried it in she could not force it more than 5 centimeters inside her.

It was no good. It was far too large.

"You have twenty four hours."Charming insisted.

"But how ?"she pleaded.

"Its up to you."Charming insisted,"Send the others away. You fetch your nightlong bag. Buttoni you mind the shop."

The lady friend quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door.

"Where does that jeweler piece of work ?"Prince Charming asked.

"Why in Wisebaden Strasse,"Buttoni replied,"But why ?"

"One glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the idea ?"the Prince suggested.

"But why, there are still lots of cunts to stretch ?"Buttoni asked in horror.

"I like that one,"Prince Charming declared,"Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to come back.

"Errr,"the girl said,"There's quite a queue."

Buttoni went to the doorway, he let the missy out and slammed the door quickly."Mine gott, they stretch to the Ithiel Town square."

"Right,"Prince Charming agreed,"We need a franchise."

"What ?"Buttoni asked.

"Lookalikes who look like me could take up tour to involve my office !"Prince Charming suggested excitedly.

"And where do you find these hoi polloi ?"Buttoni asked.

"I don't. You do,"Prince Charming laughed."You have an time of day, put the closed for tiffin mark up."

Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause. He had a few pints of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the guard Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal body safeguard for only a month pay from each.

Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a tokenish presidential term fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a money box on the shop rejoinder and a list of the weighing machine of charges, including try twice get a third try unloose !

Within the hr Buttoni sneaked back in the binding way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it.

Even the fervour of watching young ladies trying to stuff a 400 millimetre dildo up their cunts pales after a while and within the month most of the guardsmen had gone back to the barracks as lady friend after missy ruined their virtue trying to fuck a lump of glass.

Sweet hairless pinko slit, big hairy slit, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown George Walker Bush, some with nicks from shaving. Shy untried girls, raddled old slime eels, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.

Finally the waiting line dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop class and returned to the palace to look the money.

The king was delighted, the king exasperated and so spirit returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tuesday Thursday and Saturday and poking the cook most mornings.

The female monarch despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a ruction at the palace gate. The pikesmen on safeguard responsibility were barring entry to an irate young woman."Let me in !"a girl screamed."That Prince Charming asshole got me pregnant !"

Prince Charming wandered down to the gate."That's him !"the little girl howled.

"You're the girl from the shop !"he exclaimed.

"Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once !"she snarled.

"Did it fit ?"he asked.

"No !"she snapped,"Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant !"

"Is it mine ?"he asked.

"Either that or it's spic-and-span conception, of course of study it is !"she snapped.

"funfair enough,"Prince Charming agreed,"Let her in, you had better sports meeting mother."

"What just like that ?"she exclaimed.

"You haven't met female parent,"he explained

He took the girl to his female parent's sitting way,"Ah female parent I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant,"he announced.

"Really, and what is her public figure ?"the queen asked.

"No idea,"Prince Charming admitted.

"Typical,"the daughter sighed,"It's Ella, my friends squall me Cinders because I'm red hot !"

"Oh god you're a lesbian !"the queen gasped.

"I was,"she admitted,"It's hard to be hot when you're throwing up every morning."

"And this is your intended ?"the poof asked.

"well lets face it,"Prince Charming declared,"When the child comes out there is little doubt the dildo will go back in."

"Dildo, what dildo ?"the queen asked.

"Its this big round,"the young woman said as she described the size with her hands,"And this long."

"And what pray do you see in this, this slut !"the poof asked.

"She is disrespectful, headstrong, the likes of charwoman so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's nonpareil queen material,"he declared.

"So you think I'm headstrong, awless and unlikely to chase footmen do you ?"the queen enquired.

"well two out of three isn't bad,"he laughed rather inappropriately.

"Oh well, if you must !"the queen admitted,"So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son ?"

"He's loaded,"she admitted."Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a daughter and I really liked it when he fucked me."

"Oh, that's good."Prince Charming agreed.

"We don't say ‘ nookie'in the castle honey,"the fag explained,"We say ‘ Make dearest'much less mussy don't you think ? So, Cinders, when did you think of getting married ?"

"Married ? no way !"the girl insisted,"I just want minor support."

"fountainhead I'm sorry but we don't do that,"the nance insisted,"We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and starve you until you're not fraught any more than. ``

"Oh well in that eccentric,"she said resignedly,"I suppose I will give birth to give it some serious thought."

"Actually it's my night for the sporting house, how about we get a payoff away Knackwurst and quell in and watch the servants fornicating instead."Prince Charming suggested.

"Yes dear splendid idea !"the queen agreed.

"Not you mother, clinker !"Prince Charming suggested.

"And if I don't ?"cinder asked.

The queer looked askance at the girl,"We will get the take away and watch the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a clock time ?"

"Men or female child ?"she asked.

"Men, girls, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo,"the queen explained,"good god girl half the girls in the realm want to bed my Charming."

"All right, but no funny business,"the missy agreed.

"Absolutely,"Prince Charming confirmed,"Just straight missioner would be good."

"You are not fucking me again !"the female child insisted.

"Not fucking honey, making love life, it sounds so a lot nicer,"the queen insisted.

"You liked it finale time,"Prince Charming reminded her.

"Only because you smell like a girl,"she explained.

"Very exacting my Charming, a bath every Friday and neat underpants every week,"the queen confirmed,"Anyway where is this illustrious dildo, it does fathom rather fun ?"

Prince Charming and the daughter looked at each early and burst out laughing.

And they all lived happily ever after.

well the young woman wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some angel to put up 1000 guilders for the initiative single girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to view. The jeweler never did get paid and the small-scale dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married Cinder's friend Charlotte after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one night. The queen had a replication glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the world-beater spends his time talking to his industrial plant in the garden and meddling in political sympathies like kings do.

And therein lies the moral of this tale, if you want to pull, make a bath and wear down clean underpants