In the CAW 24 thread, Pars001 asked :

'' also can it take a sci fi mystery or stranger love affair idea ? after all I am unusual ''

My reception was :

'' How about treaty negotiations between the < inset public figure here > alien race and the humans. The net treaty has to be consummated by sex between an alien and a homo. For extra points, tell it from both human and alien stage of view.

BTW : This is not an alone original idea. ``

I had to try this one.

—

The president stared at the webpage, its oversaturated blue colour hurt his center, but it was the telecasting which was just confusing and made his concern. How did they do that ? He looked at his briefing written document for reference work, the diagram of the alien female. If he squinted, you might mistake them for convention people, in a sinister alleyway, during a magnate outage. Everything was just in the haywire plaza, and he really did n't want to remember of the function of that opening, just next to their reproductive orifice.

He turned to his chief science adviser. `` Are you totally trusted this is how they do it ? ``

'' The linguists are plus mr President. They studied the body linguistic process in min detail, it was said as if it were the most normal activity. They 'll be mightily offended if we do n't do it their way. ``

'' He really said, 'its consummated with a fuck on hold up TV, your president and our president'? ``

'' That 's exactly what he said mr chairperson. ``

'' And we 've confirmed that that 's what he meant ? ``

'' We asked most politely for clearing, and that is what he meant. He seemed perturbed by the query. We do n't want to subvert the negotiations, so we just moved politely onto the logistics of the act. ``

'' This is n't going to bolt down me or maybe sorry, down her ? ``

'' All the data shows we are extremely compatible. We evolved from he same basic amino superman as they did, our intellectual nourishment are compatible. We would even relegate them as mammals if we did n't get it on they 're noncitizen. They give birth to live young, and they suckle them, they even have rudimentary body pilus. Our measuring indicate that our sex organs are of compatible size of it. ``

The President of the United States flinched at the mention of sex organs, it was his balls on the line here. Rather too literally for his liking.

'' So how is this going to go down ? ``

'' Page five of the briefing paper has the lineation of the event. You will enter from opposition position of the stage, you will be naked to come out with. You will meet on the bed at center stage, and there you will do the copulation. ``

'' How the underworld am I supposed to be intimate an extraterrestrial, her places are not in the right places. ``

'' The briefing written document pages 20 through 30 covers suggestions on how to go along. Our anthropologists have been studying their ritual and customs. There is a with child amount of germ fabric for that, their porno diligence is surprisingly advanced. We can see several fashion in which you might be able to match with their president. We have hint for foreplay, the anthropologists are suggesting it is still customary for their males to take the leash in intercourse. However, do n't be surprised if she gives you direction instead. I 'm for certain you can handle it, sir. ``

The president was now questioning why he got into politics in the first place. He could hold been a elementary Farmer just like his Father. He carried on studying the briefing paper.

—

Down on the planet, chair Rowena Powell was having standardised thoughts. She looked at the orange tinted cover of her most cherished possession. `` Playboy and the Slime God '' it proclaimed, even above the name, `` Amazing '', of the powder magazine. Her uncle Isaac had bought it for her when she was ten, it was already an old geezer then. It had sparked a Edward Young lady friend stake in skill and it had put her on the path which after a duo of strange turns brought here here. To be fucked by an alien.

She wanted to roll in the hay there was no misunderstanding, like the hapless Botax ( the alien protagonist in the title of respect story ) had had. She called that being the gook god.

'' We 're totally 100 % positive that this is their impost, they 're not the slime god here ? ``

'' They told us about it in the sixth figure. They were very definite about how this was to take place, madam President '' The alien language had multiple forms, each form was used in a different way to pass nicety of meaning. The sixth form was ultra polite, it also conveyed the message, 'if you do n't agree, we 'll atomise you', so no mistaking their intent.

The speech forms the aliens used also made it almost out of the question to put a name to them, they themselves called themselves several affair including `` Baorn '', `` Oeblae '' and `` Rohazee ''. Baorn was sixth frame, Rohazee was tierce, much less evening gown. If you used the wrong one in the wrong circumstances you could set out a war, or bad. to the highest degree of the time they were referred to `` our friends from space '', or just `` friends ''. There were a lot of less civilised Good Book for them in common currency as well.

'' So how does their human body work again ? ``

'' They 're in transition from quadrupedal to bipedal, not unlike a Gorilla gorilla. The chief analog is not fully articulated, more of a hump. There are several optic and a oral fissure. The back talk is only used for feeding, not for respiration. Respiration and speech uses the posterior opening. ``

'' You mean they talk through their but ? ``

'' Exactly. ``

'' They must be good politicians. ``

The science advisor suppressed a chuckle, but continued. `` The mouth also doubles as the sex organs though. The tongue is also a penis. ``

'' The male fucks by going down on the female ? Sounds effective to me. '' Said the chairwoman with a giggle.

'' Actually madam president, the female 's sexual organs are also in her mouth. Copulation is more like french caressing. There is some citation to oral exam sex, that might be More what you were referring to madam president. Though given the difference in the locating of their backtalk and the human vagina, it might look different. ``

'' Like he 's kissing her butt end ? ``

'' Precisely dame President. ``

—

Rowena walked hesitantly onto the stage, she felt naked. She was naked, but it felt worse than that. Across the stage was the extraterrestrial president, he did face like a headless hunchback gorilla from this angle. Getting closer she could see that he was hairless, his skin was dark and looked more like a grained leather crownwork. That was more or less as expected, their sun flooded their satellite with much more UV visible light than globe, a tougher pelt was necessary for survival.

Even closer she could see the eyes around the sensory prominence. On their major planet, they were much more heavily shielded against sunshine, with multiple eyelid. To the alien, even a well lit TV studio was coloured, so all the eyes were fully open, several of them were staring at her.

Finally they were within touching length, the unknown spoke, to Rowena, it sounded like a fart. The translation was relayed to her ear bug, `` I 'm very pleased to contact you madam chairman. ``

Rowena started her prepared speech, `` I 'm delight, … '' but did n't get to land up. The noncitizen reached around and hugged her, and kissed her. The hug felt like the alien was wearing an exquisitely soft leather jacket, leather was n't Rowena 's voodoo, but at this charge per unit she thought she might change her mind. The hug was very carnal. She reached around and hugged back, she could feel the Christ Within coat of tomentum she expected to find.

The kiss was also quite a bout on, the extraterrestrial being 's natural language slipped into her oral cavity. Of course of instruction, it was also his penis and it was erect, she tried to french him, but she found herself giving him a blowjob. Meanwhile the alien 's other knife, there were three smaller tongues arrayed around the main knife, they also joined in. It was really erotic for Rowena.

The noncitizen reached for her bosom, she found herself getting the most carnal massage. It felt like men clad in the softest calfskin gloves. The alien maneuvered her to sit on the bed, then moved his mouth down to her titty. The prehensile tongue/penis again performed a most sensual massage of her boob. She lay back on the bed and moaned softly.

Rowena was barely subject of rational thought at that moment, but one mentation she had was that these aliens had a succeeding attention to earth women like this. She 'd be tempted to bless up for this again. The alien kissed down her stomach, arriving at her pussy. The stranger 's lingua probed, he was well at this, a natural Rowena though. She sighed and moaned some more, louder this time.

She felt the foreigner 's tongue/penis pushing at her entering. Simultaneously, the three smaller lingua licked at her clit and pussycat backtalk. The burden was too a great deal for Rowena, she came, her groan became thigh-slapper and she trashed around on the bed. The alien raised his rear end luxuriously, and trumpeted a triumphant Saul Bellow, it still sounding like a very loud fart. Then he came inside her.

—

At the very recently and rapidly constituted bureau of disaffect personal matters, bell ringer Thomas Augustus Watson was a computational linguist. He was office of the squad which had built the translator the negotiations had relied on. He was troubled.

As he was discussing his concerns with is boss, the TV was playing the coupler of the chairman in the background. It was being broadcast around the world. `` So you know about the diverse form of our friend'language. ``

'' Uh huh. ``

'' I was looking over the translation map, I noticed the third and fifth physique cluster very closely in the output blank space. That would means word in the third and fifth forms can be easily confused. This is a phenomena our friends have noticed themselves. They call them 'third shape jokes'. Something like our pun, but to a greater extent subtle. The tierce form tends to extract cruder concepts, so if you change a fifth part chassis word to a third gear manakin word in a condemnation you can end up with a begrime joke pun. ``

'' That could defecate life sentence hard, can we alter the topology of the map to increase the breakup of the grade ? ``

'' That was what I was thinking we want to do, but I was examining the output and I think we 've been translating 'handshake'as 'fuck'by mistake. '' They both looked over to the action on the screen door .