Chapter One

The day started as it usually did. Groggily, Jess leaned over to hit the drowse button on my dismay clock. He was so tired because he had been doing 30 hours a workweek at work lately and he was n't sleeping well because of his place life. Add in school and the homework that came along with it and it was midnight or later by the time he got to bed."Who invented these things anyway ? ”, he thought as he climbed out of bed.

Showered and dressed, he went downstairs to get some breakfast."Hi Jess ”, his buddy and sister said to him, almost in unison."Hi ”, he replied back. After eating breakfast, he went back upstairs to brush his tooth. Then he came downstairs again and went to see his mother. Jess always went to his female parent 's room and said"just aurora"to her before leaving for school. Why he still did, he was n't sure. He had become so distant, there was no real number connection left."Probably just out of habit ”, he told himself. He kissed his female parent so long and then left with his brother for school.

In the car, he and his brother did n't talk much. It was n't that they did n't like each former, but Jess and Luke had very small in common these days. They had different ally, Luke being more of a sociable butterfly ; different tastes in music, Jess listened to more heavy metal and rock candy, while Saint Luke was more into the pop euphony scene ; etc ... Once they got to school, that was it. The car drive there was the most sentence they spent with each other in a day and whichever one was n't driving that day just stared at their speech sound the entire ride.

Everyday he dreaded going to school. senior high School had never been"as advertised"to Jess. He was a loner, an outcast. He had not even a smattering of Quaker, everyone knew everyone, but that was about it. Recently he had been feeling Sir Thomas More and more depressed, his thoughts sometimes turning to suicide. Home lifespan was ... well it was n't a dwelling house anymore ...

"Good morning Mr. horse ”, said his homeroom teacher, Mr. Toer."Morning ”, Jess replied back. He took his seat and started on the homework he did n't finish last night. Math was a particularly hard subject for Jess. He was just one bad grade away from failing the subject for the semester, but at this degree that was the last thing on his mind. Staring at the blank sheet of report in front end of him, his psyche started to tramp."What am I even doing here ? I have no purpose, no desire, no happiness. If I decided to just run away today, will anyone care ? testament my parents notice if I 'm not there ?"The Melville Bell for the end of homeroom rang, jolting him back into knowingness."Damn it ”, he thought, realizing he had n't done a I problem.

When the bell shape rang at 3:05, he was already driving away from school ( his comrade was in ROTC and stayed for after-school activities ), his foot to the floor and the radio blaring. Music had become Jess'only reprieve from his life and he was retreating into it more and more, barely paying attending to anything else. Music made him feel powerful, made him palpate like he had a ground to experience. It seemed that the words of the song on the radio spoke directly to him, lifting him up, making him finger felicitous that somebody, somewhere understood what he felt.

When he got home, Jess went straight to his elbow room. As he was changing into his work uniform, he took a looking at himself in the mirror. He was 16, had long, dark-skinned brown haircloth, electric blue centre, was about six feet marvellous, and had slim torso. The someone staring back at him looked so far away, it looked like him, but it was n't him. The heart of the someone in the mirror looked so desolate and empty-bellied it was shocking. Sighing to himself, he turned off the igniter and headed to work.

At work that night, he just floated aimlessly through the evening, barely engaging the customer, just wanting the night to end so that he could go family and sleep. eternal sleep, the one thing and one prison term of the day when he did n't feel hollow, lifeless. When did n't feel anything but peace. The next day was Saturday and he did n't own to go to work or school so he could kip all through the night and well into the morning.

Opening the threshold to his household after study, Jess got a halfhearted"Hi"from his parents. The sort of"hi"that you say out of civility, not because you actually meant it. He replied back, asked if anyone had made dinner that Night, and then went to his room. Turning on his computer, he checked his e-mail. As usual, it was just a bunch of spam, but then Jess saw the e-mail. Charles Wesley had responded to him ! Jess read the e-mail, then shut off his computing device and got into bed. Falling asleep, he smiled to himself, feeling some small sentiency of hope.


criticism welcome. Like I said, let me know if I should continue .