I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classical expressive style of a landed Gentleman while riding in a tolerably smarting pushchair pulled by a jibe pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in upheaval crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a simple Earl.

'' Oh ! Then lead me pray, '' I requested, in as overbearing fashion as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the lame sir, at the walloping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the noblewoman Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the party whip and Forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain possession of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a mouthful for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that import we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` near than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your drive, you better let me push ! ``

We changed topographic point and also changed coats and hat and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a safe clout and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething masses of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the sprag through a wheel there should have been mass murder for we should never make stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in August, for a peachy wooden stage had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church building the entirely grocery square was packed with all category and upon that phase a serving chick was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her nightgown or displacement ripped from her and dangling from the string around her waist and her disguise leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his snow by turning away he struck her shapely divulge titty and the teat thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a high shaft high above her head which served to hold her so she could do goose egg but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist irons from which a trail of blood line seeped already.

The crowd were spellbind and so fixed in their care that they paid us no paying attention but I supposed that a public whipstitch was the top of their season, and all form were show, merchandiser and tike, actor and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating room set up for the purpose, the Lord Billy Graham, his son, by his side of meat and the Lady Phillipa his younger girl with them, but I looked in vain for the gentlewoman Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horse and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the equipage through a T good turn and tethered the team outside the Dragon Inn.

The maid was zippo but a limp and bloodied mass when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin Grant the Judge of the Trentham assize was mounting the whole step to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His free grace Earl Howard told me to employ the law in its broad force, and here you see I shirked not my obligation, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breather, `` Note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the wench transported to the antipodes, I was determined that punishment should never the LE be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a heart murmur, `` Have you seen that I Judge Hiram Ulysses Grant am a man of my countersign and all are peer in my courts, that the lowest maid and highest lady can expect par of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of approval. `` That the noblewoman Catherine received no preference when she abused her trustfulness and slip a trinket, as she called it, one that should be a handmaid five eld toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammering, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine II, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six month has she toiled in the playing area and six More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she confess as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt, will not confess, will not rationalize and without attrition there can be no lenity, no well-heeled living as a house servant so shall she persist in as the lowest farm missy until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her beginner to disown, I suggest she may have found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` yard shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine the Great ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my spike and eyes, `` That 's Catherine of Aragon. ``

The shock absorber of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce conceive it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, filthy bloodied and yet to my eyes beautiful, though her pilus was no longer neatly cut and her cheek were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the roach were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an iron sexual morality belt.

A with child laugh arose and shake up Catherine from her stunned fixedness and she grabbed her snap smock around her, heroic to preserve the modesty that in verity was lost, and all the while her center were crying but her rip had run dry until just the split tracks remained in the filth of her face.

'' That 's your young woman ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beauty ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really decent. ``

I realised she had an Fe collar around her cervix and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' discovery Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful cognitive process, but by and by we made progress until at distance the yahoo riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine the Great aboard so the Ox could proceed at its best stride which in all honesty was no respectable than when Catherine II had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his lordship piggery, set away from the briny family and farm because of the smell it was a low stone built building with a stone tile roof on lumber, and there in the mud and grunge lived his lordship 's pig, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an smoothing iron in the wall which I noted his Lordships federal agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the peeress Catherine of Aragon is so treat. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the rest, '' he said and he tore away the last of her dress leaving her nude, `` She 'll get plentitude of swill come morning and she can bask a lifespan of relief, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private Din Land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` nigh certainly, good day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of line ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my father 's and take the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers low abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking hayfield and eatage my father pretended to the universe that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a metre in my early days when my forefather spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a second son, you have a good name but no circumstances, so my son it is for you to create your own chance, shall you join the Militia, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and travel the world in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the noblewoman Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in the true at that time I had barely substitution two dozen lyric with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's daughter ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my nobleman what a thought ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my education and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to establish purity of the preciously metal with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my pedagogy progressed until with a loan from Father that he could ill afford I bought passing to Mexico.

I had a concluding summer at home, a legal brief spell of saltation and fiesta, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a rich suitor to woo her, but for the while my party sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present tense and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to bring in a fate in the New World and wed Catherine II sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not designate to return penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with funds or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not worry her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for Mexico but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a great substitute when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to hobble into Newlyn for stamping ground, and once ashore cipher would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with mild neutrality that founding father watched Barrington drive the carriage up to our star sign and then he watched in amazement as I descended, only to view its disappearance when I had unloaded my own baggage as sign that it was as a mere passenger in a hire conveyance rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to greet me, `` King John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fate ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand punt and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my pocketbook from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver grey, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Fatherhood asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to United Mexican States from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the subject Ocean I was rendered incompetent with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a tone off the Longships Witwatersrand and had to limp into Newlyn for stamping ground nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' Father replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the oldest son of a second son, you have a good name but no circumstances, and to produce your own fortune by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the church building ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and travel the world in search of gem. ``

'' Then it 's a great ignominy you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well Father-God I worked the wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's pal 's mine and found Ag. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead crinkle and gave focussing, just above the water he said, and there it was a lose weight crease and I started on my own with a peck axe and a package of standard candle, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and smash my own rock by candle light, and made my own Zen using my education to the full and dissolved the silver from the crushed rock and cast my own silver metal bar, but the vena was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six column inch slot in the rock music and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an whirl, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver medal crease clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by composition moulded and cast into metal bar and had it 's honour confirmed and marked to turn up it was indeed silver and as an divagation we made rings and trinket by selective molding and we travelled the jeweller selling novelty rings and small-arm of Ag and with the takings I paid for the mine, and then we showed parcel of it to selected men of wealth saying there was splinter there and machinery was needed to mine the vein any boost and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first ring to Lady Catherine of Aragon, I had its purity checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay function and I sent it anonymously but within the interior dress circle I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should get laid she was in my thoughts always.

'' A pansy story, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an extra topographic point set at dinner female parent. ``

'' What happened to lady Catherine of Aragon ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner party,

'' She stole a ring, '' Father said, `` A gaud from peeress Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a self-coloured silver gang, '' mother said, '' From peeress fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to reckon you thought to marry her ! '' forefather joked, `` There was something, madam Fowler would have forgotten the whole thing of Catherine would induce wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the mob, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a hassle, '' female parent said, `` All lodge attended, the judge, Judge Grant, insisted that the law were preserve for her as for the last order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinox or the dear Saturday thereto and should serve as Lady Fowler 's servant for a year and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather tend Sus scrofa in a field ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the condemnation is to tend hogget, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a eminence to the Judge. '' Padre added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to put on an branding iron chastity whang ! '' mother chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' female parent suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Father took up the taradiddle, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was pitiable, she came with her father and female parent and Sister and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her ingenuousness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whisper started that she would n't be flogged at all his Grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red king of beasts and promised fee ale and had the Judge play her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and animal foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under duty period, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were unfreeze and then he called the blacksmith and they had a open fireplace going and they rivetted an smoothing iron choker around her cervix like any park criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the jurist said 'One hundred eyelash !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable annulus, old-timer silver gray, and the hangman took up the party whip and was merciless, left and compensate in alternate solidus, first he bared her buns so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front end. ``

'' Her boob ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her teats, criss cross hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm free .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' male parent said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from sleeping accommodation pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her horseshoe and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a account from a pistol, of grade being a fine lady, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobbles and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veg and all kind of vulgarism at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to obscure her nakedness, '' begetter added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live with the pigs, she measures out their pigwash, some say she shares it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and angry, '' mother said, `` The yahoo used to wish to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The George Wells Beadle has her road fixture though, '' Father added, `` Rock breakage, which is mankind work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To think you wanted to hold your hat up to a common criminal, she 'll consume to become a servant or get hitched with a yokel, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such things being a former Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all rightfield. '' Mother insisted, `` The Henry Watson Fowler 's would have no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was legal injury, but what ?

'' Oh of row she 's been whipped since then, '' mother said, `` It did n't look right when they brought her into the second power behind the droppings cart on mid summertime day and the aroma was something awful, so last week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad play, a cruddy bumpkin in a richly embroidered attire brought in the Earls spare posture, but the glower parliamentary procedure loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the frock off her and showed the under-things of a fine ma'am that the lower orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoots when they bared her teats, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way home ? '' Father asked.

'' My Friend Mr Barrington had business enterprise in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' well you are a very golden boy, '' mother opined, '' Why had you the money to tally your infatuation you may have wed a stealer. ``

'' He wanted her dowery Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A grand guineas, eh, dulcorate the tab eh ! all her demand and hauteur, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not marshal the courage to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less pathological. ``

I ignored female parent 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my knead apparel and borrowed Fatherhood 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a turn I tethered my sawhorse and I walked back, `` Nice morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is nice about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at odds with her post.

'' Fresh walkover, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get musical theme, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have sharp dentition and a firm bite. ''

'' A kiss then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig slop sack for a smock but it was lax and her breasts were clearly displayed.

'' I can not get off you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall appropriate that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have precipitous teeth and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a nitty-gritty pie I shall fetch, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the mountain range attached from her handcuff articulatio talocruralis to the pigsty bulwark, `` I am afraid I am indispose. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I know you ? '' she asked.

'' You are Lady Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my heavy labor had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a meat pie you shall give, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` PIE not promises will win my affections. ``

I went away in search of pie, I bought a slicing at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the substance pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so good, lovesome solid food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you desire more then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water supply from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my mamilla ? '' she asked, `` As the hayseed do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shimmy from her knocker and bent my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not frustrate me with gentle kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not do it me for I can not birth it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me let off you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my mouth. '' she said and I kissed her full on the brim and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not seize with teeth. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bad than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all golden fur and anticipation beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her Kuki-Chin and scent and eyelids, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` reserve me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the come from her font, `` You should have allowed my kisses, '' I suggested, `` promise me a farsighted passionate kiss and you shall accept a chicken leg and apple pie next sentence liberty chit. ``

'' And entrust me all wanting, I think not, I should rather lust. '' she said, `` But I shall sword myself to wet-nurse you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her Labour, except I had a question, `` Why did you steal the tintinnabulation ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his female parent insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your stake ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no great match, '' I said, `` But I own I should care to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is XX lashes, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are vicious with these games, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's slop than endure your company and eat pies and tarts, deep brown even. ``

'' Fare well then my dish, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my sawbuck blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's household, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a valet and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your forgiveness sir but whom should I tell his good will for I can not echo your figure. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too impressed by my attire to realise who I was and invited me to expect in the living-room, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought riches in the Americas and succumbed to sea malady before I passed the Scillies but I had some circumstances mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of apparel and a sawhorse in any case. ``

'' And your understanding for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her pastime me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a cause and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect friction match, go to her, woo her fornicate should care, I shall find the key to her chastity belt, if you have a shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts mental object. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the board, `` There was the affair of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a not bad fondness for Catherine and would wish to have her innocence proven. ``

'' Oh she had a preference for gang, '' he explained, `` It brought her downfall, an gaffer of the thirteenth hundred by its scratch I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my threshold again should you associate with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprise as he left the way he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite foreign, indeed very foreign to be given a free hand with the gentlewoman Catherine, indeed although the lighter was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Good Book to founder or female parent but next day I bought roast wimp leg, and an apple pie and some exceptional deep brown with soft substance containing OK wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a sawhorse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her various times across the shoulder joint with a jolty ramification he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two cent for you to constitute yourself barely, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maid. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but tuppence was sufficient for him to quench his thirstiness in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine of Aragon exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the smell of chicken, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the Gallus gallus to her and Catherine the Great gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her sexual morality belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your Fatherhood sold it for a Somalian shilling. '' I told her and her optic welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall see a soft bed and then I shall arrogate you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell apart from the mug when the gang was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the planetary house but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten second as he was very busy, yet he called his man to call off his date when I explained the situation and that I was enamoured of Catherine II and I had grave doubts about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the cradle, the check from the jeweler 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recollection a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweller to God Almighty and Lady Gower produced a book that the ring was resized some old age ago for Lady Fowler 's ancestor, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay soft touch with a spy glass and indeed gave a precise particular date of industry some 100 of long time prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay postage stamp do n't give the century merely the year it may be thirteenth or fifteenth or one-sixteenth one C from the style, but not from the score sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seminal fluid of question Mr Matson, '' The Judge agreed, `` A source no more, but I shall shit enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went family. Father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a destiny ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A modest one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every wench in the County will quest for you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a fortune to spend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall retort what you lent me and more, a hundred Ezra Pound, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis expert to see toilet but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my room, `` A depository, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine the Great again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to necessitate advantage and her blanket was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the winter atmospheric condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to osculate her, `` My mouth is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' poor people poor Catherine of Aragon, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` claim me as your own. ``

'' call you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proved innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with narration of Cornwall, `` Did you get my pack ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the inaugural to you by messenger, I engraved With my Love JM inside it, just a simple gaud. ``

'' No, I never received any bangle, Francis gave me a fine old geezer closed chain and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with tears, `` So please never speak of rings again. ``

I told her something about my hazard which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pound, after the quittance of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly bloodless, `` I am so sorry, I presume too very much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eyes full of tears and incongruous in her filth, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can love me then that is my fondest wishing. ''

I went home with the failing lighting leaving her to gather sufficient hogget around her to keep her warm through the yearn common cold night.

'' His Honour Judge Grant wishes to see you whoremaster, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the greatest speed and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The ring, I do consider untested Fowler may induce given it to Miss Maisey bloke, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchandiser do you bed. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make enquiries sir, when my decisions are questioned I make enquiries, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr mate and he has agreed we may wonder Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall ship for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall see at Mr Saint George Ratner 's emporium, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten penetrative mind. ``

I went directly to the George VI Inn where I put up and in the morn, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a hustle of activity I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the jurist greeted me, `` In the indorse room, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

girl fellow was a come to young woman, she strode into the workshop on harbor Street come with by her maid and her mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Fowler this eve. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your tintinnabulation, '' he said, `` Antique silver, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her fingerbreadth, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry missy fella the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand Syrian pound or in that region, '' the Mother explained.

They handed the hoop to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by good turn they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the hallmark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the Saami but this was minuscule different to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the glassful and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain, I expected a daze array of diamonds but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an lettering HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own hoop,

'' Ah, First Marquess Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester ring. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The judge gave fille Fellows a receipt for the ring and asked that he might interview Mr fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the justice he said, `` I would say this hundred. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the snick along the derriere line, I have stared at that enough clip. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capability ? ``

'' miner, cartridge extractor, and a very poor people Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own halo I said, `` See here, a tintinnabulation I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro seal. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the gang again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro check office stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two mob could have come from the same cast ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The blighter one was inscribed with my love HM, the HM is still visible the rest gone where the ring was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine the Great anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner party in the servants quarters at the department store, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the Fellows'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the sign when the Judge approached him, `` Mr fowler, I have to question you about an antique silver grey ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the evaluator announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, come in. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and satisfy me at my Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The evaluator was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square toes where a goodly number of people were already there and I became aware that the court was rapidly woof, the onetime Mr Fowler Father of Francis Henry Watson Fowler was in the seats behind me looking grim and at once angry and worried, and then when I was seated for a half hour the Judges clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the first font is Rex versus Fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant piffling lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me get Franics John Hunstanton Henry Watson Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the cubicle escorted by militia the evaluator wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon misfire Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a household heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must dissent, '' the attorney complained.

'' secretiveness ! '' the evaluator ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting way, `` So where did you get this old geezer ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the shop assistant show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave lamb Francis for his dearest. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine stole ? '' the jurist asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you excuse the Truro oh four Assay brand. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient check situation and one can not tell in which C a piece was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The Judge replied, `` And when did the Truro berth cease to stamp with the Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no estimation, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you shed light on us, '' the judge asked.

'' Some ten years ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique ring and lied also that Lady Catherine stole the ring '' the judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the judge ordered, `` I monastic order that Francis John Hunstanton fowler and lady Hermione Desdemona Ruth Henry Watson Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that girl Catherine II formerly gentlewoman Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of theft also on Friday, I shall receive lotion for bail for both matters in my chamber after this hearing.

I slumped in my posterior, the business of the test of Manningham, Lord Grey 's Gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mister Saint John the Apostle for the thievery of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the jurist retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How much do you offer ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall post intelligence, but she will need wearable so spend your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had slight fourth dimension so I a few handmaid smocks were all I could find, and I was at Trentham clink when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to put up bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a clean house smock, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have fund. '' I announced.

'' Then subscribe me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had fund indeed but she was unwished in any shop so I purchased such for her and a tomentum comb and diffused leather slider then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridgework where the road crossed the Trentham river on numerous minuscule low arch and after tethering the buck she slipped over the breastwork and casting aside her smock she slipped into the tit recondite quartz glass clear water.

She stooped with water up to her articulatio humeri soaping herself and washing herself and the brilliant pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of smut and she stood proud and strong bodied with not an ounce of part with fat, her udders sweeping from her boob like as utter perfection, just the cross of the whiplash trails to blight her as the filth slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the pot of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to take a hop back out delightedly swishing her retentive chickenhearted stalk like hair like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the bank and I lifted her from the water supply and used the key to unlock her sexual morality belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hour and More of splash and frolicking before she felt cleanse and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your Padre will be concerned. ``

'' Liar, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodge house but when questions were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master key and retainer, and as was the recitation I paid for two suite and used but one.

She ate heartily with the servants that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sober eve with some travelling salesmen and merchant I found her cook in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her respiration and then succumbed to log Z's but she woke with the first light, and woke me with a kiss, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with particular care I explored where the chastity swath had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your hold. ``

I took cargo area of her and pried her stage wide and after exploring her sissiness with my fingers eased the easygoing folds asunder and eased the empurple head of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter in by fourth in I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and fuddled, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the potency of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with passionateness until my say-so returned and I entreated her to allow me to enjoyed her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a Kenyan shilling, and many more shillings for goop, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attending a few More times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my antipathy out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authority that the pain sensation subsides with practice, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should expect a honorable few intromission before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistor was vain and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petals of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her mild folds enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her little haircloth around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a gamy carpenter's plane of nirvana entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not hurt, `` I do believe you may be right, '' she whispered, `` Now confess your making love and I shall be capacity indeed. ``

We conjoined more in love than passion and in a while her passions overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted copious amounts seed within her to quench her privileged fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you relish being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't jest. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would require you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our buy with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our trade union but the promise of two hundred pounds changed his mind, but the Earl was more awkward, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our audience and struck a bargain with the housekeeper and I took away all the dame Catherine 's clothes for the sum of fifteen shillings !

The Reverent Nathan Bailey agreed to get hitched with us and then came the Friday trial at Trentham assize in the Court house.

Catherine chose to wear her red velvet garb with white contingent and a red hat looking every column inch the Duchess she should have been, to the shock and consternation of the rube clustered around the tourist court who expected her to be almost naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the populace seating room and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The case of Catherine, formerly noblewoman Catherine Howarth. '' the salesclerk announced.

'' Is there a case for the prosecution. '' the evaluator demanded of a small attorney cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cells, '' the judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall utter up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the lawyer, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple mistake, and I 'm sure Mre fella and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girl and eject her from her prison term. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr King John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the attestant box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your ringing, Mr Matson, please tell the court where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the truth to recount, `` The one on your finger. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro authentication. ``

'' appearance me, '' The jurist insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Fowler one, did you induce that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine II, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the lyric have been worn off to bequeath but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Henry Watson Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is straighten out the halo is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the court of justice Catherine, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the thing and should perjury be proven then at a later day of the month perhaps you may forget the court of law with no mark upon your type, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my pusher, Barrington had offered his armed service once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the definitive style of a set ashore Gentleman with my beloved in a new dress and shawl procured from Mrs price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably voguish pusher pulled by a matched couple of Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation tears `` Are you expected sir, only His saving grace. ``
he paused, `` peeress Catherine the Great ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apology, '' she snapped.

'' Look just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never speak again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a Ugandan shilling, a bonny damage, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her face like Lucy Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative research and when Catherine II approved I bought the manor house called Boulby Manor for a bona fide vocal as it was in an unstylish style, and the trustee of the of late Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday trial, the Henry Watson Fowler 's offered no defense reaction but merely relied upon the leniency of the Judge so on the Sabbatum we went to Allerton square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The judgment of conviction must represent the sentence which their perjurious financial statement brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two 100 whiplash and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall hold out one hundred thong at solstice and equinox and shall process Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any humble content she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and date were set, C flurries set the market topographic point white like fairyland and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as whip man again.

They led the Mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the degree, she was dressed in her cloak and her great winter robe with her script manacled but as soon as she was under the radio beam they hauled her hands above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the worst bit John, '' Catherine said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no melodic theme, no melodic theme at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whiplash and when Lady fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and lacrimation her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity belt protected her reserve, as the axial rotation of fat and shapeliness were laid bare.

She stood in subterfuge terror and all was not well with the whipping as her soft flesh split almost the 1st blow.

There was consternation, and the Judge Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine II, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you retrieve it in your philia to commute the judgment of conviction ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My hubby and I shall adminiser the blast at a suited charge per unit nightly whilst the Lady fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should hate for him to return from the antipode with a portion. ``

'' A Wise and compassionate thought, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a tone of compassion Lady Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her home and in gain has petitioned that Mr Francis fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the place of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the bumpkin lost interest but the maids became interested in their act as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the beam by a roach round his manacled custody, and then his knickerbockers were hauled down and the first blow was administered across his left berm and then a second across his right wing shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or to a greater extent snow were landed and then in the personal manner of such hoi polloi he began to come apart down, but it was not until after the first twenty dollar bill blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's arse that the titter of laughter for as the snow landed so his manhood found the gap in his under breeches and reared through the gap though by many monetary standard it was both short and fat it caused huge playfulness, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the blow continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' looking at, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the square toes, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sense of devilment the whips-man flashed the whip between fowler ramification and deep into his loins and all at once his manhood became animated and spewed forth such a disgusting gray substance, like three day old Milk River, that stout women fainted.

'' To think I might have married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all ways preferred. ``

But Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the nose candy unadministered he was carried away insensible to the slammer to recover before a further school term a workweek hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the first and we travelled home by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to regain permanent employment with us and we joked about fowler but Catherine was heartsick although she remained stoical throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want forefather and female parent at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver