As I visited with my cousin, a man as perverted as myself, he asked me,"What's the weirdest affair you ever had your dick stuck in ?"
Immediately, I remembered the incest with my sister ; jacking off with a variety of things wrapped around my shaft ; a twain of goat, which fit my dick about the Saami as my tight cunt sister-in-law ; and…. The cantaloupe.

Leo already knew about the incest with Mae and Jody ... he was the one who started it all. We took turns with Mae many meter, but I don't she ever let Leo get into her step-in. I got there… but that 's not what this level is about.

As we grew up, Leo and I often compared the size of our growing putz, and would possess a race to see who could cum first when we 'd flap our heart. We'd try out jacking our perch with bun of toilet newspaper ; with the cardboard centers pulled out. Plastic base with application in them, then wrapped by a washcloth worked bully. There's no telling how many of our dads'condoms we slipped on to jack off ; and we always compared the results… but that 's not what this story is about.

I did n't lie with the Goat until after I was married, and tried it just for the hell of it. I'd catch an opportunity when the St. Brigid would be gone shopping or to one of the kid's house and school principal for the goat shed. It did n't take foresightful to discipline Pearl and Polly to stand and eat from the feed bucketful while I used their low pussies for my pleasance. I don't keep my sexual experiences a secret from Leo, so he knows about the nannies, too… but that 's not what this taradiddle is about.

Leo knows I 'm still pounding my sister-in-law 's puss every opportunity I get. She 's had all three of her kids by C-section ; so her pelvic arch has never been forced by delivering a baby. Plus, she can work her fantastic cunt muscles like most men have never experienced. She 14years jr. than me and her husband is a stinky son-of-a-bitch. I really think she's in love with me and would leave his sorry ass in a second, if I was destitute and available… but that 's not what this chronicle is about, so ... ....

I began by telling Leo about my buddy, Paul….
We started the first grade together and graduated side by side. We both had sr. brothers, so we weren't too surprised when we discovered how great it felt to jack off, and we did that ( side by side ) for years. Who really knows ; if St. Paul was still alive, we may still be doing it together.
Paul's dick was slimmer than mine and had a slight, upward breaking ball. Mine was fatter, but about the Saami distance.

Somewhere along the line, after Leo had explained the chick and bees to Mae and me, Paul and I made her little pussycat the objective of our pleasure. Eventually, big sis joined in, too.

During high-pitched schooltime, both of us snagged girl that didn't hesitate to have it off ; quite often we would fill both buttocks in Saul's old Edsel Bryant Ford with naked torso, but they wouldn't work a swap with their goods. My Sharon was great, but I always wanted to plow Christie's pussycat, too.

My car was too pocket-sized for the four of us, but Sharon learned how to fold up her skinny, trivial butt and give me a marvellous blow job, when it was just the two of us.

St. Paul's mom moved to another townspeople when we were in our senior year. His older chum, Jerry, had already spent clip in the Army and had his own flat, so Paul moved in with him to finish his senior year. He remained there after graduation, until he and Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie got married.
Anyway, moving in with Jerry had another definite advantage…It didn't take long to convince the miss that a bed worked substantially than a car seat.

So it happened that our gals got summer jobs as counsellor at a church pack about forty knot away from home. They were able to come household on weekends, but Jerry and his girlfriend had the flat, so Paul and I were banished on Sat and Sunday. Those seat in the old Ford got a in effect exercising on Saturday nights and Sun afternoons.

Now, I'm not gon na say that we were entirely celibate while the female child were gone, but sometimes, good pussy with a trustworthy mouth was hard to find.
One eve during the workweek, Paul the Apostle made a input,"I'm so Goddamn horny I could bed a watermelon."
I laughed, but got to thinking… all we had done for the cobbler's last respective months was fuck some existent pussy,"You're one crazy mother fucker, Paul. But let's go for a ride."

I knew of a heavy, commercial garden just outside of townspeople. I stopped my VW Beetle just long enough for us to jumpstart out and grab three cantaloupe vine, each. Paul wanted to know why we were stealing the melons and I told him,"We got ta screw something tonight."

We only took the two ripest 1 ino the apartment. It would still be three or four minute before Kraut would get off study, so I took a knife and barely cut through the outer rind. When the 3inch forget me drug came off, I plunged the knife into the nub and twisted it around, making a kettle of fish about a half inch across. It was easily reamed out with my thumb, to the size fix my hard cock would fit through.

Apostle Paul laughed as he watched, but when I pushed ol'Fat Boy through, and down into the fond seed cavity, he started working on the other cantaloupe. Before prospicient, both of us were acting like those two elementary school boy who used to hide behind the dumpster ; and see who could scoot our wad the highest.

It was miry and made a mint, but I finally emptied my consignment inside. Paul got so tickle that he couldn't dump his sperm in his melon vine, so he pulled his slimy rod out and finished by hand.
We were cleaning up the kitchen floor and about to wash our putz and globe, when Saul of Tarsus flare-up with laughter,"I'm gon na peel this roll in the hay cantaloup vine, cut it up in chunk, and put it in the fridge. Jerry's been a son-of-a-bitch lately and he's gon na hump eating what I just fucked."

fountainhead, we cleaned both of the fruits, put them in to cool off, and left.
Sure enough, after we had our Sonic burgers and Fry, we went back to the apartment to find Jerry & his asshole pal, Charles, watching TV and eating chilled cantaloupe.
We quickly said,"Hi,"and excused ourselves back outside… God it was funny.

To this day, anytime Paul the Apostle and I get together, we have a big chortle about fucking Cucumis melo cantalupensis and feeding them to his brother.
He'll kill us if he ever finds out .