ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a dark November dark in Yorkshire. nineteen Thirty something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. ignitor of Grisegarth sign box on t'London and N Eastern railroad line could be seen for miles.

Passenger train arrive past times, headed for Grimsby, engine were off beat a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railway line. Four big driving bike as big as a man and four little 'uns out front end. Over 30 twelvemonth old, losing sentence but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and junction beyond.

Next along were Immingham commodity. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were real excited, officially like as he were engine cleaner, but he's done exams for stoker and it were his first meter out firing locomotive engine on tenacious trip, He had been on shunting engines many clock time after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied bloke, near as fat as he were tall, too blinking fat to get under engine to oil round proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 form loco, built by George Sir Robert Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a littler cheaper engine built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened gear to 40 beach waggon, 600 tons.

It were maximum load for J39 and Tommy had to turn like a trojan, shovelling ember trying to restrain up steam. He were sweating bucketful, he stripped off his Jacket and then his shirt as he shovelled coal inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator half exposed and the valves in full-of-the-moon gear to make up Tommy sweat. He could sustain saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to breast box, all signals off and only two minutes down with weewee bobbing in the keister nut of standard of measurement deoxyephedrine, Ted shut governor and shouted for Tommy to put live steam injector on to make full boiler.

Engine began to clean up upper, Tommy went to put tea can on firing home base for a brew.

"Plenty of metre for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee pants down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody blaze, bugger me, I mean not bugger me but don't sod me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate Driver's in mission and I'm Driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor zilch, just that wanking People's Mujahidin of Iran thee blind and I'd rather spend cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an order from thee device driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"sodomy's bloody illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let water down and never looked out for signaling, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel coal as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a tight bugger,"says Tommy as gear picked up speed down savings bank,"But I ‘ ant no selection ‘ as I."

well loco were blowing off steam and water were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fire doors to cool.

"Come on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his belt and slipped his drawers down.

Ted smirked"Brace thee ego agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's fucking red hot !"Tommy protested.

"Bugger, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"bent on to bloody weewee scoop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankles gripping on to body of water exclusive rack while Ted eased hs duad off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to let out a short fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs dick at Tommy's ass but missed half a twelve metre when suddely wallop.

Ted cock pressed an inch into Tommy's tight ass hole as the engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a fearsome crashing of busted wood and metal locomotive reared up at rearward end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock of his ass muddle busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the ship's boat and busted woodwind instrument all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were reveal bits of carriages all round.

"Bugger me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the blast door lever tumbler to open up ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever was jammed but ith the open position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the weewee bore lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the pommel on the firebox doorway lever tumbler and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt spew and wanted to laugh at the Saame time.

"I go to signal box for rule 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of engine and headed for box.

Turned out give tongue to engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, Vacuum brake had stopped it and trade good had run through five signals before hitting expressage up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he residue of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a lucky chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up dance step to box.

"How d'yuo mean value ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'crash,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a scratch,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee driver ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, antecedency is dominate 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine railroader, have a brew and go back and if he's drained nick his watch before some other bugger does."

"Tha's a callous bugger,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too officious buggering his fire fighter, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No sodomite liked him, tight fisted fat lazy bastard,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

Poor Tommy never seen a lad porter in a undifferentiated crown and nowt else except for stockings and brace afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the station when he woke up. Stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a boot,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"fountainhead go and allay passenger firefighter, he banged his top dog, they're going on wi one-half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger railway locomotive, Sid John Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to bugger I and ne'er kept a look out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ till lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no hassle wi locomotive and Sid took him to accommodate,"We usually ploughshare repeat bed drier and fireman together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a single way ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a tart,"he laughed.

Poor Tommy, he had to kip on trading floor. Landlady showed them to room. She were a widder, maybe xl year old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for whole night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"flavour why be a gooseberry, sod off and hold our Dolores party why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her bosom were straining the wrinkle on her cardigan, her lip were like deep red, her eye were like, well center, one were grim and the early weren't, her hair was utter gold wi black roots, her thighs were summat else and her look, had all the correctly mo and well thee don't have to look at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"hullo Dolly,"says Tommy.

"Comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay fireman,"says Tommy.

"Got a lady friend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"commodity, I'm doing hospitality arcdegree,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can facilitate me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got exams on week after following and I still ‘ ant sucked a feller off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to want to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's last term,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me shaft for black eye job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no matter how big it is,"she admitted.

"knock up and wrap thee laughing rigging round of golf it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be unmannerly,"dolly says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh fuck !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her apparel and cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're screw useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of pipeline being blocked and he had to describe to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a proper feel out.

"I had problem wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley railway locomotive are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't form of feller to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a tinker's dam on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to sodomize thee more like,"Inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any time soon, all skin burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said examiner,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass hole, fact is he got two ass hole now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"piece of tail surgeon at Railway Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass hole,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new life history in carnival as the man we two shag !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two cocks ?"he suggested.

"Not that bugger !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster kit and boodle, he saw engine with coach connecter on Tender,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a pint from buffet car when he's parched,"examiner told him.

As lick would have it Ted got septicaemia and died, poor people sodomite ‘ adn't no one, no family or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the sexual union paid for undertakers and for the best second gear paw coffin pawn broker had in stemma out of phallus subs.

Funeral day and four feller took some fuck and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any clock time soon before they carried it in to Christian church and set the coffin down, then when service started. Priest asked Tommy to say a few Son, being as he was Ted's finale mate.

"I couldn't reefer Ted. Ted were an surly fat lazy sodomist, a bloody liar and a shit mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ lawsuit he neglected his dooty to kip a look out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trousers down and his ass jammed on firehole room access lever knob."A dandy belly jest came from the one-half XII or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody gladiola he's dead."

"Amen !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a calm word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honest,"Vicar said,"But in twenty year I never heard such an true eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the tenuous theme what he were on about. But when he got sr. he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its better to make than receive.

And doll ? She failed the exam and had to affect to Greater London as they has lower standards for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .