Merrie England, in the seventeenth century ...

The sun twinkled on the rippling creek as it meandered between the meadows of Caisterdale to take place beneath the old Harlan Fisk Stone bridgework beside the hamlet church.

Sarah sat at the brookside, her face in shadow oblivious to the scene, staring unseeing into the space, book in hand but lost in her thoughts.

She heard hooves clattering upon the gravelled way, `` Ah miss Haverthorpe, one last day of freedom ? '' asked a familiar voice.

She looked up, whoremaster, Lord Caisterdale 's son, her childhood acquaintance looked down upon her from his chestnut stallion.

'' Yes, '' she agreed quietly as she stared at his hansom face, his extensive shouldered frame, his hat jauntily poised atop his mop of dark hair.

He looked down seeing the young little girl of his puerility rather than the young woman in the full blush of lifespan which she had become

'' A worthy buster, indeed a favourable fellow, Mr Countisbury, '' John chuckled, `` Staid steadfast all the timber one could wish for in an Arch Bishop, you have indeed chosen well ! '' he laughed.

She scowled.

'' Shall we see you tonight ? '' he chuckled, knowing fully well she would never succumb to the age old rite of the 'Droit de Signeur ,'where the maidenhead of all the maidens of the parish belonged to the Lord of Caisterdale to be plucked on their wedding eve.

'' Yes, '' she said turning to stare steadfastly at the water, `` I shall be there, it is the tradition. ``

He reigned in his sawhorse and whirled around, `` Yes ? '' he said, `` Surely not ? ``

'' Yes, I shall be there, '' she repeated.

'' But you do n't understand, '' he said hopelessly, `` Father, '' He felt he needed to monish her, to warn of the world of criminal conversation which he sampled sometimes in Harrogate or Heaton, a existence away from Caisterdale where wenches cavorted wantonly for pennies, a world into which in a few furious second his own Father-God would propel her into unsuspicious and unwilling.

'' I understand full-of-the-moon well, '' she said, `` It is uncivilised, half the first borns of the hamlet have your father 's center. '' she announced, `` But it is his right, and if the abase servant young woman must succumb then so must I. ``

He wanted to calculate into her eyes, to see her soul but she stared through her book and into a man far beyond.

'' I shall not give up it ! '' John announced, `` Not you, with beginner, it is detestable, why not so long ago we were as crony and sis playing. ``

'' And now I have made an fantabulous match, '' she said, adding with a degree of satire, `` Everyone says so. ``

'' Yes, '' he agreed uncertainly.

The sun shone on her fortunate whisker, glinted off her engagement ring, shone golden upon her shapely ankles and the curve ball of her cervix, he felt inspiration, but she turned towards him once more and the moment was gone.

'' And you agree ? '' she said, `` That I shall make an excellent vicar 's wife. ``

'' Indeed, '' he agreed, `` A vicar 's daughter become a vicar 's wife, it is, '' he paused seeing her discomfort, `` As if ordained by the lord almighty, '' he said pompously.

'' flight attendant ! '' she snapped and tured back to the brook with weeping welling in her eyes,

The rebuke stung, had any other maidservant said it it would have been as zero, had it been a servant little girl she would ingest been whipped, but this was Sarah, whom he had known for longsighted than he could recollect and her opinion mattered.

'' I suppose we shall run across occasionally ? '' he queried as he struggled to come in to terms with the practicalities of Sarah 's forthcoming mrriage.

'' I doubt it, '' she replied, `` The biography of a Vicar 's wife is entirely fully of good oeuvre and dateless head numbing tedium ! '' she snapped and she threw her leger down in anger, `` I could scarce countenance the excitement. ``

He knew not what to do or say, the unanimous engagement had been somewhat of a shock, his habitue visits to the vicarage had perforce been curtailed by her courtship with Mr Countisbury, and indeed he knew he would miss her as he would a sis, and the thought she was to marry disturbed him deeply.

'' Indeed, '' he said, `` Until the morrow then, good day, '' he said and wheeled his horse again and cod home, his thoughts greatly troubled.

He helped stable his steed, washed the dust of the road from his face and hands, toyed with his writing and finally dressed for dinner and came down to dine.

'' Oh, what form of honor is this ? `` his father asked, `` Deigning to dine with us, is it in honour of Miss Haverthorpe ? ``

'' girl Haverthorpe Father ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, Cy Young Sarah, come to be plucked, but she will not arrive until dark, '' his father averred, `` Why it must be a month very near since you finish forewent the delights of the Dog and Duck to dine with us, ''

'' I have stage business father, '' he insisted.

'' good story business, monkey business ? '' his Fatherhood chided.

'' Leave the poor boy alone Charles, '' his mother insisted, `` He is Twenty One after all. ``

'' Yes, '' his father agreed, `` And with age comes responsibility. ''

'' And decrepitude, his mother insisted.

'' And that is the thing founder, '' can said forcibly, `` Why you are old enough and more than to be Miss Haverthorpe 's forefather, it is quite uncomely ! ``

'' I had no relations with the mother I assure you, '' master Caisterdale admitted, `` But in part you are right. ``

'' Indeed, '' added his mother, `` But you see your founder and I had words. ``

'' And therein you electrical shock and pose me, '' John sneered, `` Had words indeed ? ``

His female parent sat bolt upright, `` And the upshot is I have forbidden your father to fornicate with Miss Sarah or indeed any more than maidens. ''

'' It 's my heart son, '' the Creator said, `` It pains me. ``

'' Oh short fille Haverthorpe, '' John sneered.

'' Poor Miss Haverthorpe indeed, '' his mother insisted, `` Suffering your fumblings instead. ``

'' What ? '' privy protested.

'' Why the duty devolves to you, '' she insisted, `` Now execute it honourably ! ``

'' But we played together ! '' Saint John insisted, `` I can not violate her, she is naught but a child ! ``.

'' Bah humbug, '' she snorted, `` She has become quite womanly, have you not noticed the bump atop her chest ? '' she asked, `` No you must sequester her roughly and claim her, tear away her innosence and put her puerility behind her, just do your duty Charles. ``

'' Yes, it is as our mother says, '' John 's father admitted, `` For the chaste wench the first intrusion is excruciation and the incrimination for that pain and hurt must fall to the Signeur, so that the first-class honours degree conjugation betwixt husband and wife might be indulgent and placate and rapturous do you see ? ``

'' And do I wear off a peel ? '' toilet asked.

'' Maker no, not if she 's pure, why half the hamlet, '' his father started to say proudly.

'' Have his eyes, '' his female parent added, `` And not just first Max Born ! ``

John the Evangelist father frowned crossly, `` He blames me, '' his female parent confided, `` But there are limits John, there is only so much a woman can take up. ``

'' One damned child, twenty two eld, '' he muttered, and she smiled.

'' Say saving grace dear the repast grows frigidness, '' gentlewoman Caisterdale exclaimed as se regarded the simple beef meal before them.

'' From what we are about to receive may god preserve us, '' he uttered blasphemously and they started to eat.

'' Excellent beef cattle Charles, one of ours ? '' his mother exclaimed.

His father put down his fork, `` For you see St. John if you rouse the dame gently, osculate her, finger her teats, feel her womanhood gently, investigation it, allow it to ripen and unfold gently and allay and tantalise the maidenhead asunder the wench will yearn for you, even long time after she will see her man as second best and you as her one true devotee, so be brutish to be kind John. ``

'' He has all kind of straps and convenience and whips you my use, he even has stocks to take the wench 's ankles and wrist joint all in a row, '' the mother explained, `` That way she can not jib. ``

'' Mother ! '' whoremaster protested.

'' Tell him Charles ! '' she insisted.

'' Yes, '' he agreed, `` A lifetimes collection efficacious in every circumstance. ``

'' Apart from last time ? '' she added.

'' She was fat as a pig ! '' he protested.

'' She lost her hymen to a chair leg St. John the Apostle, how undignified ! '' his mother declaimed inelegantly.

'' And what makes it ten times worse, your mother did the poke, '' can 's founding father insisted, `` No Saint John the Apostle, tis your duty now. ``

'' What, enthrall Sarah ? '' he asked thoughtfully, `` But we are like crony and sister. ``

'' Mr Countisbury shall be her brother now, '' Gospel According to John 's father insisted, `` Such childish style must be set aside, she 's not been a tiddler these two years, face at her chest of drawers, those ruby sass, the aureate ringlets, are you blind, why half the settlement think you lovers ! ``

King John thought hard, perhaps Sarah had become a woman without his notice, it made sensation now, he must do his obligation, he must for both Mr Countisbury 's sake and her sake appear to be vicious and heartless, `` Then if I must I shall do my duty, '' he said nobly.

The meal passed and with the dusk came the clattering of hooves and Sarah was delivered by the undertakers cart as was the custom.

'' Sarah ! '' John 's mother welcomed her, `` So tomorrow is your felicitous day ! ``

Sarah looked at the floor unhappily, `` Indeed it is Lady Caisterdale. ``

bathroom 's mother replied cheerily, `` sunshine up my beloved, tomorrow will dawn with brilliant sunshine and only happiness will await you will see ! ``

'' I only hope you are leaven even up, '' Sarah agreed.

Carolus stepped forward, `` It seems such a curtly time since you and King John played together in this very room, and now he is twenty dollar bill and one and you can not be far off the same.

'' It is indiscreet to ask a lady her age, `` Sarah replied, `` But yes, I am almost twenty and one and as father says an single wench of twenty one is a sad, morose and disgruntled one. ``

'' Yes indeed, '' Charles the Bald agreed, `` But we have business to transact, do you bear your robes child ? '' he asked.

'' Beneath my cloak, '' she said, `` All pure blanched awaiting to be sullied by the vivid red ! ``

'' Quite so, '' Jacques Charles interjected, `` Sadly my warmheartedness is no longer able. ``

'' Oh thank god, I was so frightened ! '' Sarah gasped with evident relief.

'' So toilet will perforce lease on the responsibility, '' he continued.

'' No, not John, god no ! '' Sarah protested, `` No it can not be ! ``

'' It was not my selection but it is for the best, '' John assured her, `` Best for all. ``

'' How can it be best for me ? '' she demanded.

'' Enough, '' John 's mother cried, `` Desist or I shall have Cook bring a scold 's bridle and secretiveness you. Now come with me and I shall establish you the property and do what I may to ease the curse. ``

Sarah stared open mouthed but refrained and steadying her nerves she followed St. John 's mother upstairs.

The second best guest bedroom was develop already, the four spot bed freshly aired with overbold virginal white sheets, wine and lemon barley water were provided and towels and bowls of body of water.

A chair, a wardrobe a chest of boxers, mirrors everything, a candelabrum of XVI standard candle shone like sunlight, copious rugs carpeted the story and all was as luxurious as any whore 's boudoir to be found in Yorkshire.

Sarah accepted her lot, and on Lady Caisterdale 's advice set about easing the torment with half a carafe of Claret which relaxed her greatly.

Heartened by the wine-coloured she disrobed to her virginal white faulting without demurral, she wore no under matter nor corsets as was the tradition and sat upon the bed while St. John 's mother offered her sound advice, `` The thing is Sarah, that first clock time can be an agony of the start order and some girls never forgive their hubby for that torment, so, do you see, if the Godhead causes the hurt then it matters not. ''

Sarah thought hard, `` But what if she falls in honey with the lord ? ``

Lady Caisterdale smiled, `` It is for the Almighty to secure she does not ! '' she declared as she produced a piece of mahogany tree split in two with four jam and a flexible joint pin and clasp with a pad lock to reserve it sozzled, `` Carolus finds this effective on juncture, '' she added, `` Your wrists and articulatio talocruralis through the holes, most effective, '' she said wistfully, remembering happy times.

'' But John, do you see, he is, he was, my protagonist ! '' Sarah pleaded, `` Surely, he can not handle me thus ? ``

'' No, to the contrary, '' the elder woman insisted, `` He must for the alternative is to have you pining for him like some doe eyed pup, oh no, no you must see him for the fornicating brute he has become and thank your stars for kindly Mr Countsibury. ``
'' Oh Jehovah, '' Sarah sighed a she heard footsteps approach.

There was a knock on the door, `` It is time, '' whoremonger 's mother avered, `` seed in. ``

'' Ah, Fatherhood said, '' John explained awkwardly.

'' I shall leave you to it, good dark, '' the mother said and she slipped away.

John bolted the door behind him.

'' adept eventide, '' he said awkwardly, `` Can I get you anything ? ``

'' No, I am content, just do your duty, '' Sarah said nobly.

'' On the bed ? '' he asked.

'' No on the social movement patio by the outflow, '' she replied, `` Of course on the bed ! ``

'' Yes, '' he laughed awkwardly.

'' So, '' she probed, `` What are you waiting for ? ``

He stood immobile, `` Yes indeed. ``

'' So disrobe, '' she said, `` And ravish me. ``

'' Yes, '' he said, `` Of course, '' and he set about removing his jacket, his kerchief, his shirt, carpet slippers, socks, undershirt, breeches and finally he stood in naught but under breeches.

'' Shall we extinguish the illuminants ? '' he asked.

'' No, '' she insisted, `` Or dawn shall be with us, disrobe and be done ! ``

'' Ah, '' he said awkwardly, as he hesitated to slough his underthings.

'' Down ! '' she snapped and grabbed his under breeches which tore as the drawstring was still fastened and the underpart fell to the floor, while the waistband remained, `` Oh ! ``

His appendage hung limp and unexcited, `` Do I not stir you ? '' she asked.

'' Er, '' he said, emboldened she grasped his appendage.

'' Oh what an insignificance to be worried of, '' she chided suddenly emboldened and she moved closer.

He went to push her away, but as his manpower went to her shoulders so he was suddenly aware of the feminine beau of her breast and the scheme of her teats against the fragile blank shift.
Instead of pushing her away he pulled the shoulder of her duty period aside and eased it down gently.

'' Forcibly, '' she said as her held her and flicking her golden hair aside he kissed her neck.

'' Er, yes, '' he agreed as he tried to accommodate her womanly pattern with his anamnesis of her climbing trees and running around as a child.

Her break slipped further, her fingers instinctively cupped his balls and caressed his cock as deftly as any whore and as her mounds touched his bureau for the first off time so he began to suit aroused.

'' Forcibly, '' she said as he held her tightly, `` please ! ``

His extremity reared against her, `` On the bed, '' he said urgently.

She led him by the helping hand and flung back the bed dress, he pulled up her shift so it was naught but a silky belt around her waist and easing his knees inside hers thus spreading her thigh he went to hop on her.

His fingers sought her balmy moist cavern but found only clench muscles.

'' Ravish me ! '' she cried.

'' I can not, you are not ready, '' he said apologetically.

'' enchant me, this is not love, ravish me ! '' she insisted.

'' No, it is impossible, '' he insisted, `` You must be aroused, let me. ``

He kissed her neck once more and his fingers sought her teats, kneading them, `` No ! '' she protested, but his lips were upon hers now, his tongue ran along her teeth, `` Oh. ``

Her teats were hardening now, he relaxed, she was just another sporting lady after all, his fright that he might be unequal to the task evaporated, she was just a fragrant blond fornicatress after all, he knew she would prove moistened when required and he enjoyed greatly the intimacy afforded.

He relished her excitement, her minuscule pant as he squeezed her nipple, her uneffective attempts to crowd him away and then with his sap rising further he decided the clip was ripe.

His finger moved to the soft down covering her lower belly, trailing slowly down between her legs to where he felt moistness, he explored and there for the first metre he found the moist spot which eased into a hole and then a time slot for one two and then three finger's breadth. He inserted a thumb, she gasped, so he forced the thumb harder into her, `` Ohhh, '' she cried quietly as she buried her grimace in his shoulder.

He worked quickly to expatiate the cleft, the force made his riff aching but moistness increased a hundred fold and his thumb slipped ever deeper until it was unequal to the task.

He slid down the bed and rolled his hips to range her and gently eased his knee between her second joint parting them and spreading her knees wide, he eased his finger within her once again and then grasping his manhood he gently pressed it against the pink softness of the folds of her sex before certain of her facility he slid his bare appendage into her womanhood.

He revelled in the aesthesis of flesh on flesh, his whole humanity tingled as it eased relentlessly into the tight fuzziness engulfing it. He revelled in the intensity of sensory faculty coursing through his bare member, hyperbolise twice or a thousand times by the absence of the thick propylactic cocktail dress he wore at the bordello. Quite suddenly he felt increased underground, he thrust with his coxa, once twice, she cried out, he thrust again and quite suddenly he was entirely sheathed, his testis against her material body and his member nakedly sheathed to its utmost, his chassis entirely within hers and he rocked gently within her as the sensations overwhelmed him.

The heavens opened in his mind and he saw all the delight of union as his sap rose further and further until it threatened to overflow entirely.

Sarah in her turn revelled in John 's bid kisses, his probing finger troubled her but excited her in adequate measure and with her increasing her excitation so the number of fingers increased.

Quite suddenly he changed and his muscular thumb was stretching her, she heard a moan, could it be her own phonation ? and then his manhood, warm and muscular alleviation within her secret place which she had barely explored for fearfulness of ruining her maidenhead.

A brief wink of painful sensation, a cry she had no recall of uttering and she was ruined, yet he was caressing her, loving her and her bosom soared, and most of all the sensations she had been assured were torment were nil but cristal as he filled her to excess, a gasp, a moan, his finger's breadth caressing her teats driving her wild and finally as she feared the fervour of passion would engulf her he quenched the fires with a torrent of love.

For John it was a final osculation, a tweaked nipple to have her gasp and then he claimed her entirely with a deluge of seed pumping and coursing through his organic structure to swamp hers. A torrent unrestrained he revelled in the exemption and made the instant last as long as he could his humanness pumping in ever decreasing surges until it stilled.

'' Tis done, '' he said as they stilled and he came to perch lying upon her.

She pushed him away and wriggled innocent of his embrace as his manhood shrank.

'' You were to dishonour me, '' she protested, as she slipped from the bed, `` But instead you used me for a lover. ``

'' I eased you, to save you the hurt, '' he insisted.

'' You made love to me, it is unforgivable, '' she protested as she grasped a cloth and wiped away the moisture from her innards..

'' You aroused me, '' he challenged, `` Did I make you phlebotomize ? ``

'' A piddling, '' she said, `` I am completely ruined. ``

'' Then the next time should be a complete pleasance, '' he insisted.

'' I shall scarcely bear it, '' she said and she rearranged her shift, pulled on her cloak and shoes and went to get out him.

'' Are we still friends ? '' he asked.

'' Friends, no, I believe I hate you, '' she said quietly, `` You abused me, good night. ``

He lay back as the room access closed, watching the candles guttering in the sudden gulp as he listened to her footsteps receding as she went down the stairs.

He wanted her again already, but he was sure it would soon pass.

Sarah wandered aimlessly away down the corridor, `` Oh, '' John 's mother, Lady Caisterdale, exclaimed, `` Finished already ? ``

'' Yes, '' Sarah agreed, `` I can ensure you that I am completely ruined, quite impure, destroyed, distraught. ``

'' Was it horrendous ? '' she asked.

'' No, no, not at all, it was gentle, tender, he kissed me as if he loved me, '' Sarah admitted.

'' Oh you poor girl, '' Lady Caisterdale commiserated, `` He was supposed to call for your innocence no to a greater extent, '' she paused as Sarah 's center moistened, `` But it will break up itself this evening when you are alone with your beloved. ''

Sarah sobbed suddenly, `` I suppose. '' she replied.

'' But why the hurry to depart, '' lady Caisterdale asked, `` There is no baby buggy, the bed is soft and strong, shall you not stay ? ''

'' I ought, '' Sarah pleaded.

'' No stay here safe and warm, '' she suggested and she shouted, `` John, John, total down here this instant. ``

'' No ! '' she gasped, but John was upon them, struggling with his breeches as he ran.

'' King John, '' noblewoman Caisterdale insisted, `` How daring you treat Sarah so ill, take her backbone to bed and ravish her. ``

'' But my noblewoman ! '' Sarah protested.

'' I treated her with the utmost consideration ! '' John insisted.

'' You treated her like a working girl, made beloved to her when you should have ravished her, so take her to bed this twinkling, '' Lady Caisterdale insisted.

'' Yes mother, '' he agreed in confusion.

'' Go ! '' she insisted.

Sarah held her forefront in her script in confusion, `` Please no, '' she pleaded

'' If you do not care it then I shall not, '' he agreed.

peeress Caisterdale sighed, `` Indeed you shall, '' she insisted, `` Now enthrall and abuse the girl, do not seduce her, use the restraints, use her unwillingly ! ``

'' If I must, '' he agreed

Sarah turned and turned again but there was no escape so she retraced her whole tone, the bed awaited, still lightly stained with red and she lay upon it.

Lady Caisterdale followed, `` Use the chasteness John, '' she insisted as she picked the burnt sienna restraint from the flooring, `` Bare yourself girl ! ``

Sarah cowered against the bedhead, her fingers shook as she removed her cloak and shift and she lay naked upon the counterpaine.

'' enrapture her then, '' noblewoman Caisterdale insisted, `` Restrain her and, '' she paused, `` Oh, ah perhaps you can not after all dishonor her St. John the Apostle. ``

'' Why ? '' he asked.

'' face at her, '' peeress Caisterdale exclaimed, '' her mammilla are swollen, her womanhood glistens with desire, you Steward you have made her love you ! ``

'' So what shall I do ? '' he asked.

'' Use her like a whore while you may, good night ! '' she replied and slipped away.

Sarah went to resist but trick was upon her, desire overcoming sense and with his breeches discarded now he joined her upon the bed.

'' Please no, '' she said but he pulled her towards him, crushing her agglomerate against her chest and in a mo he felt her hands on his humanity guiding it unerringly into her warm moist slot.

He kissed her tenderly, `` No you torment me ! '' she protested but her body craved his ejaculate and she squirmed beneath him tormenting him in her turn.

He saw the heavens again, the angels sang and his seed pumped forth.

She was gone when he woke following cockcrow, `` John, you must get dressed, it is Mistress Havethorpe 's wedding. ``

He had no desire what ever to attend. It troubled him that Sarah had succumbed so willingly, that his childhood booster whom he had never even though to kiss had proved such a wanton cyprian.

He dressed and took a late breakfast and joined Lord and peeress Caisterdale in their go-cart to arrive as was the custom a moment before the Wedding was to commence, barely a minute before the bride herself.

Countisbury awaited his bride, a steadfast staid individual, standing in a cause of melanize cut in a style not seen for twenty long time which had in all probability formerly belonged to his father.

St. John sighed, why had he not sampled Sarah before, many times he had bidden her serious day and departed for the town to sample a whore, where had he thought he might have sampled Sarah instead, finally he decided that after vthe marriage he would indeed try Sarah out and Mr Countisbury should be cuckolded.

John barely registered the service, `` Do you aim this man for your lawful get hitched with husband ? '' Sarah 's forefather the rev Haverthorpe asked.

'' No, '' she said, `` I can not, I have a devotee. ``

'' cum child, that was the lord taking your ingenuousness, it was cypher, '' the Reverend insisted.

'' Gone, your artlessness gone ! '' Countisbury queried.

'' Just the master of the Manor 's perogative sir, '' the reverend insisted, `` An older valet sir. ``

'' It was John Lackland, the son, '' Sarah explained, `` I can not lie, it was exaltation sir, I am undone, I can not lie, I relished it, I can not marry you any more than you can marry me. ``

'' No ! `` Countisbury cried, `` It can not be, it is intolerable ! '' and he stood up from the altar rail.

'' John ? '' the Reverend demanded, `` You consorted with John ? ``

'' Yes founder, '' she admitted.

'' unendurable, you sought to bear me marry an impure skirt, that is unbearable sir ! '' Countisbury insisted, `` I do not wish you good day sir, I merely take my leave. ``

The reverend looked on in horror as Countisbury walked away, then he turned to Sarah and declared.

'' You whore, you are no girl of mine, get thee hence from the business firm of the Godhead ! '' the reverend cried, `` Go ! ``

Sarah rushed away, her billowing whiteness wedding night-robe rustling against the pews as she ran and she disappeared from view.

'' You sir are a disgrace, '' Almighty Caisterdale bellowed, `` Attempting to marry your daughter to such an unacceptable dolt. ``

'' You sir are the ignominy with your iniquity practices, insisting on the Droit de Signeur indeed ! '' the reverend challenged.

'' Me ! '' he protested, `` I made no such demand, it was your choice sir ! ``

'' How dare you, '' the reverend demanded, `` My daughter is completely ruined, who will
take her now, I can not contain to see her, who will charter her ? ``

`` Oh shut up reverend, '' Lady Caisterdale insisted, `` privy will take her for now, she will make an admirable bed match, why a little girl more naturally inclined to whoredom I have seldom seen, '' she added, `` Come Charles II let us settle the child into her new placement. ``

Sarah stood disconsolately outside the church as Lord and lady Caisterdale stepped outside, `` It seems you are to suit my son 's schoolma'am Sarah, '' noblewoman Caisterdale explained.

'' schoolmistress, a kept woman ? '' she demanded, `` That makes me no better than a whore ! ``

'' Oh my dear, '' peeress Caisterdale explained, `` You will savor it I am certainly, and why not, you have no other time to come, you are hardly fit to be a chambermaid, and we have no pauperism of a governess so mistress it shall be, you shall have daylight to yourself but the nights shall be Johns. ``

'' I was to be married, and a Vicar 's wife but now I am to be a kept fair sex ? '' Sarah asked, `` I should rather be a nun. ``

'' Too recent my dear, '' Lady Caisterdale suggested, `` You zestfulness carnality too much, why we could her you screaming in Adam, no you are far better suited to whoredom, and I think with privy you have the best of it. ``

'' Give us a red-blooded son and I 'll let you marry the fellow, '' Lord Caisterdale added.

'' Do I not throw a say in this ? '' John Lackland asked.

'' No ! '' came the reply from both parents as one.

Sarah had no former choices so with big reluctance she climbed into the carriage and they made rush to the Manor vestibule. Sarah had naught but her wedding dress to wear and so she borrowed a servant 's smock from Mrs Franklin the housekeeper while her things were got from the vicarage and in due course the family assembled in the sitting room.

'' I shall run up a list of responsibility for you child, '' Lady Caisterdale announced quite suddenly.

'' tariff ? '' Sarah asked.

'' Yes, even a tart should know her station, '' Lady Caisterdale insisted, `` You eat with lavatory or the servants, each morning you help me snip and each evening undress and are available to serve Charles the Bald or privy as required, is that acceptable ? ``

'' No, '' toilet insisted, `` I want Sarah for myself. ``

'' Well you ca n't, '' Lady Caisterdale reminded him, `` The reverend has disowned her and she is not twenty one yet. ``

'' Then I shall marry her at common law ! '' John the Divine insisted.

'' Hold on John, tis a big step ! '' his Fatherhood insisted.

'' No, my mind is made up, '' John insisted, `` Call the parish meeting father, I wish to arrogate Sarah as my St. Bridget ! ``

'' Directly, '' Lord Caisterdale agreed, `` Tomorrow at Six ! ''