master Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Lowell Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't leave a bugger what you bloody reckon because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a flaming bad slip back from United States of America on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me memorial tablet were safe and went to see bloody agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishing to oppose. broker were a despicable bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"trade good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the unlettered Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, part of eight, that kind of brass."

"We thought you think plaque,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a mordant dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody nescient Lanky sod ent it ?"

"brass section is an admixture of copper color and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever gripe eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact..

"How often were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the request damage,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The bank check please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped snipe bank and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on riposte near fainted at size of bank check but I drew out a average few quid and went about me business.

fifteen bloody days voyage took, bally steamer broke down on the way but at finish I had some brass in banking company and could derive home instead of scratting daily round down South US way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven master what were a mate of mine, we had a schmooze for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave grocery store, I fancies a nice plump fresh browned one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in XXX three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let well-nigh of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody pit do I find a courteous plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be blooming lucky to come up one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, endangerment whore house or wed a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at fairy Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner Menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a pungency to eat. Now I ent wooden-headed or nowt but I couldn't make headspring or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea sentence and noon time was dejeuner. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager occur up to me and asked me byplay,"looking for for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of whore houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have an plus see, not keep forking out for working girl till I gets bloody clap and me cock rot off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing scope of chastity whack,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his dorsum to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a reefer at, why not earn him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his couple over a shaving of fish and drib o wine that woudn't sustain a fucking church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to unload like ?"I says uncoiled out.

"And who the hellhole are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob couple was pissing they selves laughing at me,"tone if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar sign, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, brace of bloody tits, own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say St. George,"one of his mates, a simpering arse dressed like a right panderer says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your bill of fare right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his first mate grabbed his arm.

"George V, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy partner warned him not to seem too stabbing but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His lieu needed a lick of paint and the Butler's cap had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet de chambre, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky butler smirked.

"No he is a client, Mr '' the gent explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"From bloody Yorkshire and speaks me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an despicable bitch,"I says,"promise you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay mesen to poke thee."

"This is my wife headwaiter,"bloke says,"dame McGonnegal."

"No umbrage like,"I says as she belts me brush up the chops, we her goody hand and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty piece of music ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite wish to courtyard one of our girl dearest,"the cuss says, I sort of guessed he was lord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"come now we are all booster here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his case went a deathly gabardine,"master Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"tempest, Tempest, bloody feed pee ticker bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a fucking shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody merchant vessels lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bally like,"I said,"Don't head bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her similar thee and he does soon as fucking lordships'back 's turned."

Samuel Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody school principal, I also reckoned Creator Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to keep open stum so she showed us into parlour."little girl,"she says,"Come and fulfill master er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The get-go girl were knockout, blond hair on her shoulders, downhearted eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the servant, any road her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my 2nd eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody productive and in need of a bloody fucking,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of loveliness followed into the room,"Queen Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my firstborn Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her curt hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her nipple you 'd have thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your damn bet were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a damn blighter or a bloody bint eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord master,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your byssus ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit thin out on bloody priming,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody ready, respectable chance her were a bloody virgin, if I blew blooming candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"wellspring I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a all-fired virgin I ‘ ll nooky thee and and wed thee and I can't say mediocre than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"V hundred,"I offered,"greaseball, to take aim her off thi bloody hands and put a closed chain on her bloody finger, take it or pass on it."

"We really necessitate the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this teras for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife young girl, not just a blinking tart to shag, someone to look after me bloody house, Cook, clean and jerk flavour after bloody child, that variety o thing."I ventured.

"No feigning of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a all-fired shag, you wo n't do amend than that and I shan't bloody offer a blooming gain."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solvent maitre d' is no, never."She stormed away in a blooming strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought process I were bloody messing."

lord Mc's oculus bulged as I showed a pocket full phase of the moon of gold.

"contain a glass of vino master,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down down a bit,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a skillful Madeira wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a all-fired pint."I said. He gave me about decent to swim a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missis go and form Francis out.

I heard a commotion,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"occlusive it, finish it mother I would rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody price, what's unseasonable wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the steps me hobnail boots clattering on fresh round off oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two sleeping room amah and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her apparel off and looked like she been whacked across expression with a dead Melanogrammus aeglefinus. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her pegleg wide of the mark,"Take a looking at Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you blinking yob, sodomise off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the flicker of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody air,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the threshold shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pop your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't niggle lass, I never had to force a damn dame to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her buck private as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her script away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me finger gently up her thigh and then I started to contribution her cunt lips with me finger. It weren't the number 1 clock time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bally shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a matter ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a flaming gent I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candela then has tha ? Like I caught me blooming sister doing a sentence or two ?"

"How did you have intercourse ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Army of the Pure call it our little bloody secluded shall us ?

"flavour Captain,"she protested but me digit were no fucking alien to a bird's cunt and wi me thumb on her piffling nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a piece of ass,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me turncock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her cumulation. She variety of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh cashbox I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I were not about to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or damn never and I stood up before aiming me old man at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee blinking take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody pommel end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an Anchor up a hawsehole pipe.It were blooming heaven. right wing in till me orb were banging on her private parts,"What the bloody hellhole size of it bloody standard candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh maitre d',"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek plaque for the fucking fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't abdomen it say now and I'll shoot me bloody encumbrance over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind gist under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your tough Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me dick was blooming throb and suddenly it were too recently for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant police captain,"she chuckled,"Next clip perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock concentrated I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suckle my nipple if it helps to rouse you."And with that she pulled her tits right out of her girdle and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to sense your manly dresser against mine."

"You ent got a manly thorax,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't count much what they bloody look like wi your natural language in their gob, so me shaft reared and before I knew it we was bloody shag again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hr or so before we went back downstairs. noble and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old cuss, congratulations,"Lord Mc chortled,"Let us have the conflict announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sodomite that I'm a all-fired sea maitre d', '' I explained,"We can nip down damn harbour and I can do bloody marriage, no bloody need to blow bally brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a clip or two her started smiling at me and her spirit quite bloody comely if you squints a bit and the spark behind her. But at end of all-fired day its what they fucks like what affair and she's bloody champion and no error, even if she do come up from flaming Lancashire .