Chapter 1 :

The summer I turned twelve years old, things started to change. I was always `` more developed '' than other girls my age, and had a sense of maturity not often seen in pre-pubescents. I only began to observe how older males looked at me when my uncle drooled over his beer as I exited the pool with my brothers. His leer caught me off safety device, made me ill at ease and sick to my stomach. spirit continued, day to day, but I felt him getting nearer and nearer as clock time wore on. He partied at the house every weekend with my dad, he began to stay over dark, and then demanded I bring him a towel into the shower. These diminished instances began to gather doubt in my mind. Eventually the stress between us culminated when my parents left us with him for the weekend. When night came, and the family was serenity, he made a beeline to my room, I could see his sot shuffle outside my door and I knew what was coming. The first colza was the most painful, I cried the rest period of the nighttime and into the forenoon. He took me over and over again in that first hour. His palm pressed hard against my oral cavity. His belt buckle left weal that did n't pass for day and the bruise on my inner thighs kept me from my horse back riding. The following week until shoal began were my worst. I told no one and suffered through the encounters with silence. He raped me anywhere he could, taking all he wanted and leaving nothing behind, none of my soul, no unhurt office of my torso unswayed. I think this is the point in my life where I became hardened against the world and it 's expectations. The dark relationship with my uncle continued until I was sixteen, when I began to fight back. I would fight, the beatings would get worse. But when I fought back, I became excited. My cunt started to drip then moment I slid away from him and made him pull me back to him. I kicked him and made my own back arch from the excitement. When he slapped my expression in penalization and called me a little slut, my nipples hardened. I bit his finger extremely hard and he punched my lower back as he continued to push up into my unwilling vagina. The moment his fist impacted with my back I came with triumph. My first sexual climax was uncivilized and filled with abandon of a tortured soul released.He twisted my head around and with look of stark disgust, hurled me onto my bed and left the room. I lay there, spilling my essence onto the bed with my body shaking and desperately wanting to begin again, to feel the pain and that pleasure simultaneously. I believe my uncle noticed the change in me, and when he realized he was in fact pleasing me instead of hurting me, he stopped. For him, the titillating feeling stemmed from taking and not giving. My nature had been corrupted and by railing against him, I found my own pleasance. Many will take for this story barf beyond the most turn Angle, but I am determined that I am not insane, just `` dirty '' or `` tainted '' by the world 's standards. It was a relief when his rapes ended, but he left a black mark on me that will never pass. I have an insatiable desire for men ten to twenty years my senior, and fighting against the man fucking me roughly and harshly is the near height I can reach. I want nothing more, at this stage in my life sentence than to be degraded as used as my prevailing partner pleases. The outside of me is very rife. I am a sophomore in college, an honour student, a published poet. I am five feet eleven column inch tall and a formidable figure to men my age. The intimate me is a subservient kitten that has to be taught repeatedly what she can and can not do. I thrive on pleasing my dominant and survive on the sexual organisation of reward and penalty. At XVI, I was just beginning to perceive my sexual abilities. When I first liberated myself from my scurrilous uncle, I thought I was actually sexually dominant allele. It would be over five year later that I learned I was, in fact, a submissive. Up until that moment I had convinced myself I let those men do as they pleased. A dear friend taught me that I needed those men to do as they pleased, in order for myself to make utter satisfaction, heaven, and honest sexual delight. I began as a rape fount, a dupe, a female child. Though I consider myself still developing in my sexual endeavors, I have learned much, and I hope to contribution all my intimate feat, in wet, sweaty, dirty, gritty detail. I want to spread out the knowledge that you are not alone in your submissive ( to the extreme lifestyle ). You are, in fact, most likely in a legal age. All powerful char want to be taken, dismantled, examined, and used for ultimate pleasure, they just are n't bequeath to admit it. I loved not being in charge, being utterly lain to waste and I adored listening to the men as they finished with me and told me no char had let them do what I had let them do. I have fulfilled fancy, I have dreamed aspiration and then lived those aspiration. If you are in the bus that I am going to hell in, perhaps you will delay tuned to hear of how my endeavors so began and how I came to be writing this news report, at the request of my most recent and most comforting dominant .