`` What floor ? '' I asked as I looked down from the scaffolding high above Magdelene Street while
answering my cellular telephone phone.

'' The lounge floor, '' a charwoman with a plummy stress insisted, `` It 's staining the roof downstairs it really is not beneficial enough ! ``

'' And where is this ? '' I asked, she told me, it did n't register.

'' John Griffith Chaney ! '' she said.

'' That was weeks ago ! '' I explained.

'' wellspring it 's not just enough, either you rectify it at no toll or I shall sue. ``

'' OK, text me the address, '' I agreed, `` I 'll see what I can do. ``

'' I want rather Thomas More than a vague hope, '' she said, `` You finish at five, I shall anticipate you at seven this eventide, that should sacrifice you time for shower and a cheese burger. ``

'' That 's bang hour ! '' I protested.

'' Leaving London darling, not coming in, seven o'clock or I sue. ``

I did n't have much alternative really, so I thew my tools in the old transit at knocking off time and headed troll florists' chrysanthemum for a bite to eat and a shower before hitting the M40 East bound.

The traffic was n't bad, not my way, westbound was like a car Park but I went well until past the M25 where it got a bit sticky.

I got round her place around ten to seven, an old forge Ithiel Town business firm with a few footprint up to the look door and a few down to the basement, probably 1880 ish, bath stone faced to start story storey then fork over, a red brick structure basically thrown up on the cheap.

'' You 're other, '' she said censoriously as she opened the front door.

'' We aim to delight, '' I quipped.

'' fountainhead improve your aim, '' she said as she stepped back to allow me into the hallway. She looked deep 1930s acted like ninety, snotty bitch.

The kitchen door opened, `` Mistress, '' a little girl 's voice trilled.

'' Not now kitten, '' the woman insisted.

'' But mistress, I have to be, oops ! '' she said.

I stared, she was wearing a maids outfit about four sizing too small, her tit swelled over the top and it barely reached below her umbilicus which must get been chilly as she was n't wearing any knickers.

'' Sorry mistress. '' she said.

'' Well close the door, and put your eyeballs back in, they 're on stalks ! '' the 'Mistress .'insisted, `` You simply ca n't get the stave. ``

'' But ! '' I said stupidly.

'' Oh wake up up and smell the coffee, '' she insisted, `` Really the small mindedness of the typical Brits doer never fails to astonish me. ``

'' None of my business lady. '' I agreed, `` Or is that Mistress. ``

'' Do n't advertise it. '' she said as she locked the outside door behind me, `` But we are not here to talk about my intimate preferences, nor yours for that matter. ``

She led me through to the sofa, strangely the story was as I left it, sealed clapper and groove stripped pine, it looked fine.

'' What 's the job ? '' I asked as I noticed a strong smell of disinfectant.

'' It leaks, '' she said, `` It is staining the basement ceiling. ``

'' What leaks ? '' I asked.

'' The floor, '' she said, `` Leaks, you were instructed to seal it. ``

'' Not against water leak, '' I explained, `` But the occasional spill should be fine. ``

'' That is not what we agreed, '' she insisted.

'' I suppose I could have it another pelage, '' I offered, `` Why does it smell out of germicide ? ``

'' You had substantially see the basement, '' she said, and she swept past me and led me down the steps from the wide forward-looking kitchen to the old cramped kitchen below and through to the computer memory room formerly servants hall beneath the lounge.

The ceiling was stained brown.

'' Crikey, that 's not water, '' I said, and I rubbed my finger against the low roof and tasted it, `` That 's, yuck, where does the plumbing system go. ``

'' Can you seal it ? '' she asked.

'' No, this is the foul drainage, nothing to do with me, '' I said.

'' You said seal, come upstairs again Mr Allington, '' she said, `` Let me show. ``

She went back to the lounge, `` Pippa ! '' she said, `` show up our node the problem. ``

'' Mistress ? '' she queried, `` But he 's a man mistress ? ``

'' Very nearly Pippa, '' she said, `` But show him how you show attrition. ``

'' I ca n't madam. '' she said firmly.

'' I 'll get the cat in a minute, '' the 'Mistress ,'threatened.

My brain boggled, she had done her intimately but her tit still bulged from her top and at to the lowest degree the underside couple of column inch of her pussy were clearly displayed below the hem of her skirt.

'' No please Mistress, '' she pleaded.

'' So do it you stupid minor, '' she insisted.

I had no idea what was about to befall when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on the polished floor.

'' Bleedin'hellhole ! '' I swore, `` No damned wonder it leaks and stinks, have n't you ever heard of lavatories, Thomas Crapper, Armitage Ware and all that ? ''

'' And in your minuscule disposed cosmos have you no noesis of water sports ? '' she asked.

'' Certainly have, '' I said, `` Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, water skiing, but not pissing on the aliveness room floor. ``

'' And it had no gist on you at all ? '' she asked.

'' No, '' I lied for my old man had come to life story quite painfully if I was honest, stuck down my trouser leg when he needed some blank space,

'' ejaculate Mr Allingon, '' she said, `` You have an erection which would n't discredit a entire grown cony. ``

'' Hey ? '' I queried, `` What do you mean Rabbit ? ``

'' Precisely, '' she explained, `` I am afraid I much prefer a skillful strict forearm to the transitory rigourousness of the male appendage, have I shocked you Mr Allington ? ``

She certainly had, `` No, '' I lied, `` Well pissing on the trading floor is a bit of a gob hell dust if I 'm honest. ``

'' She 's very, dear to me, so I keep her on a short rein, '' the 'Mistress'explained, `` She has a delightfully tiny fist. ``

Pippa was smiling coyly at me, `` But she does like cock, '' the Mistress said sadly.

'' What exactly as this to do with sealing flooring ? '' I asked.

'' Your erecting young man, '' she explained, `` I fear you have designs on my companion. ``

'' Of track I got a hard on ! '' I said, `` Who would n't ? ``

'' XC seven percent of the adult population, '' she replied, `` Watersports is a nonage fetish Mr Allington. ``

'' Right, '' I agreed, `` Well given the alternative I would prefer the old Thomas the doubting Apostle pot urinal to the livelihood room floor any day. ``

'' But, given the choice of her mouth, my mouth, in my pilus, in her hair, Mr Allington ? '' she asked.

'' I, I never gave it a thought, '' I admitted.

'' The exemption to go when the mood takes you, '' she queried.

'' They used to observe chamber grass under the bed when my grand dad was a boy, '' I agreed.

'' Not quite my detail Mr Allington, '' she conceded, `` But you did n't answer, does n't the opinion of your piss arcing through the air to fleece my dress, my bra, my breasts, does that not excite you ? ``

'' I, '' I said.

'' Your sass are silent yet your turncock speaks volumes, '' she said delightedly.

'' You do n't like cocks, '' I reminded her.

'' No, but Pippa does, '' she admitted, `` Poor girl she is so delightful yet I can not quite reciprocate, I am not heartless Mr Allington, but neither am I stupid person, which is why I keep Pippa on a forgetful leash, from her revealing wearable to. ``

'' She 's a prisoner ? '' I asked.

'' To all intents and purposes, '' she conceded, `` I treat her like a dog. ``

'' Excuse me ? '' I said.

'' I take her for walks in the green, '' she said, `` Have I shocked you, after dark you understand, with the poop soap. ``

'' Right ? '' I said.

'' She is not allowed to use the can, ever, she just mops up afterwards, '' she explained, `` Like a dog, a bitch. ``

'' And that turns you on ? '' I asked incredulously.

'' Absolutely, and I see I am not alone ! '' she laughed.

I had my paw down my blue jean, my cock was twisted up with my underpants and it was agony.

'' Mr Allington ! '' she said, `` Please ! ``

'' expression, it 's not what it looks like, '' I said.

'' Masturbating, '' she said, `` Is a rather individualist body process not readily mistake for any other. ''

'' I 'm just uncomfortable that 's all, '' I protested.

'' Which is clearly why you are masturbating, '' she declared.

'' Look, '' I said, `` You need pelage and pelage of varnish, yacht varnish or something seriously waterproof, '' I explained, `` Not just sealing, you should have explained what you had in mind when you had the position done, I just subbed on the floors. ``

'' Subbed ? '' she said, `` You are hardly a sub Mr Allington. ``

'' Sub contract, strictly Harrisons are nonimmune, '' I explained.

'' No, I paid you directly Mr Allington, '' she explained.

'' That was just a technicality, '' I explained.

'' Which never the lupus erythematosus makes you liable. '' she pointed out.

'' So. I 'll do the sealing again, '' I said.

'' Which you admit will not cure the trouble ? '' she said.

'' No it needs proper waterproofing, '' I told her.

'' How much ? '' she asked.

'' Maybe ten coats, '' I said, `` twenty four minute to dry between, its laughable ! ``

'' I 'll pay for materials, '' she said.

'' Great, '' I said, `` There 's travelling and. ''

'' I 'll pay for petrol, '' she said.

'' No way, '' I insisted.

'' Think about pissing in Pippa 's mouth, '' she said, `` Or mine. ``

'' What ? '' I demanded.

'' I think you understand exactly what I am offering. ``

I stared, you know, a stuck up, upper middle class bitch, who would n't desire to relieve oneself in her look ? but Pippa, well, to be honest I just wanted to ram my straining cock deep in her odorous pink pussy.

'' I do n't hump, '' I said, `` It will be a lot of piece of work. ``

'' And a lot of fun, '' she added, `` And Pippa has n't had any cock for ages have you sweetie ? ``

'' No Mistress, '' Pippa agreed.

'' And you do like shaft do n't you ? '' the 'Mistress'asked.

'' I like you fingers and my toys Mistress, '' Pippa replied.

'' But she prefers cock, '' the 'Mistress'confirmed, `` I too have a soft spot for it but as I mentioned a rigid forearm beats a pliable cock on every I level.

'' If we do this, like we need the totally way bare, no furniture, it will be about a calendar week after the end coating before you can chance using it again, twelve hours before you dare even walk on it. ``

'' Oh, '' she said, `` I see. ``

'' But why do n't you have a wet room in the basement, tile the floor like a shower, tile the walls a bit too, not blank but maybe slate grey or something, then you can playact there, '' I suggested.

'' Yes, why not indeed, as a temp measuring stick and for those awful wet nighttime, '' she enthused, `` How much ? ``

I did a bit of genial, `` Well to make a job we really call for to take out the existing, reefer in a membrane. ``

'' How much ? '' she demanded. I gave her a ball park, `` Really ? and how long ? ``

'' Two Clarence Shepard Day Jr., then you 'll need a plumber to do the shower head word or sprinklers, '' I suggested.

'' When can you start. '' she asked.

'' Mon week if I can get the tiles, if you 're not fussed colour wise it should be well-situated enough. ''

'' Excellent, '' she agreed, `` netmail me the last citation and I am sure enough we have a tidy sum. Can I get you a looking glass of something before you go ? '' she asked.

I looked longingly at Pippa as she gently fingered her exposed cunt while she looked longingly at the bulge in my jeans.

'' No, thanks, breathaliser and all that, '' I said apologetically.

'' Good, then I 'll see you out, thank you. '' she said.

'' trade good, yes, '' I said as I stood up, `` so long Pippa, decent to see you, '' I said and she blushed crimson, it was n't what I meant so I expect I blushed as well.

I went through the hallway and the 'Mistress'showed me out through the look door, `` The market keeper 's entrance is down the steps to the right, '' she explained, `` Goodbye Mr Allington. '' the 'Mistress'said as I went outside.

'' Good night, '' I said, I nearly said 'Mistress ,'but I did n't and I went back to the Transit with a big grin on my face, I just turned a complaint into two twenty-four hour period paid work.

Now that 's a solvent,

Oh you wanted to try about the other stuff, now hang on, I 'm a builder not a bloody pervert !

To be continued