antediluvian Italian capital, about 0 BC

"Oi Nozzer, what you at mate ?"Mark Anthony shouted above the clamour of a busy Eternal City morning.

"Off down the Colloseum Tone,"Nostradamous replied,"They got some new Gaulish Mead and a new mint of angle slaves."

"Sounds good, I'll tell Julie,"cross Anthony replied.

"Call me Julie again and your head word will connect those of the Huns on the spikes above the urban center gates,"Julius Ceasar chipped in.

"All right keep your crown on,"Mark Antonius replied,"Do you consider they got any virgins Nozzer ?"

"Six hebdomad in a sauceboat with a bunch of ruttish Oarsmen, I don't think so,"Nozzer replied,"More like Oars, anyway the came from what the Angles call"Es Sex"what ever that is."

"right field,"Mark Mark Anthony agreed.

"Anyway I thought you had a even guff up with Cleo ?"Nozzer continued.

"Oh yeah, great, great compexion, corking in the sac but she bathes in donkey milk and fetor like a bloody donkey,"Mark Antonius replied.

"Can't have it all,"Nozzer laughed,"See you later right ?"

Nozzer called in on his mate Michael Angelo on his way to the Colloseum,"Mikey how you doing mate ?"he called.

High above the floor of the Sistine chapel Mikey was lying on a scaffold circuit card having a kip and sleping off a expectant night on the mead and ale.

"Diminu - bloody - endo,"Mikey replied,"living the illegitimate enterprise down. Me heads splitting mate."

"It's the paint mate, you want to use lead not cow dung,"Nozzer suggested,"Anyway it was only supposed to hire a week, two coats of briliant white they said."

"Mate, they are paying by the day and they like my graffito,"Mikey explained,"Money for old rope like."

"All right for some,"Nozzer replied,"You hear about Pisa pharos ?"

"Every fuck consistency heard about Pisa pharos, started keeling over so they put a twist in it,"Mikey sighed,"Just fuck off and do some Philosopherising or what ever it is you do."

"Charming,"Nozzer agreed,"piece of tail you too."

The Colloseum was busy, every cunt and his mate was there eyeing up the new slaves.

Some was naked, the Angles and Gauls was so pale they needed browning up to be fanciable, but the Arabian had to be kept under binding or they blacked up, most was shackled together but some was in someone wooden cages.

"What's the point of that ?"Nozzer asked some random bloke.

"From Greece, fucking Lesbos,"he said.

"From Lesvos or are they Lesbo's ?"Nozzer asked.

"snatch,"the bloke answered,"Anyway what can I do you for ?"

"Oh a squeamish chick, say twenty one, blond, big melon vine,"Nozzer replied.

"How much you got ?"the blighter queried.

"fifty dollar bill, fifty dollar bill five at a thrust,"Nozzer offered.

"wellspring you can have her,"he pointed to a beautiful slant backer,"From Wessex, beautiful girlfriend, screwing like an backer,"he taunted,"For one 60 minutes for fifty."

"I want's a theatre striver,"Nozzer explained.

"For fucking fifty, you wan na get tangible married person,"the feller replied,"You can have her mum,"he said pointing to a wrinkle old hag.

"Nah, rather fuck a camel,"Nozzer admitted.

"Make up yer thinker, harlot or scrubber, cleaner."the bloke sighed exasperated.

"Bit of both,"Nozzer replied.

"That's a fucking wife, don't go there mate they're trouble,"the bloke advised before he saw some other mug and fucked off to con him instead.

Nozzer wandered off,"Houseboy sir ?"some charwoman hollered, pointing at half a 12 bare feller tied up in a pen.

Nozzer looked up,"Hung like donkey,"she said.

"feel like you been taking advantage,"Nozzer quipped.

"Every one-half hour, do and see the display,"she offered.

"For fuck sake !"Nozzer sighed,"I ent fucking Hellenic !"

"No ?"says the woman as she grabs the cheeseparing slave's cock and starts wanking it,"You for certain ?"

"Absolutely,"Nozzzer says.

"Then why you getting a grueling on ?"she asked,"You want me to wank your trivial putz instead ?"she asked.

Nozzer looked down at his Toga, it was like a Tent pole was pushing it out,"roll in the hay !"he said out loud.

The woman suddenly left her slave and stuck her hand up Nozzer's Toga. He wished he had put on clean pants but they was in the wash so he had come out without any.

"Ooooh you are a big boy,"she cooed,"Five Sirstes to wee you cum or I'll rip it out by the roots for free."

Nozzer liked it rough,"Rip it out by the radical,"he requested,"Please."

She dropped him like a snapshot,"Fuck off degenerate !"she said abruptly.

"Me a nooky perv ?"he snapped,"Its you what fucks slave in world ten time a day !"

"Twenty on a good day,"she smiled.

Nozzer shook his school principal and went round to see the animal. Andreas the Lion Tamer was looking worried.

"Wazzup Andy,"Nozzer queried.

"Fucking Gaul bit Leo,"he said pointing to one of his lions feet,"Gone septic, look."

Nozzer was stupid but not stuid enough to get in a king of beasts John Milton Cage Jr. to look at an infected infantry at Lion's lunch time, which was basically any time a Lion wasn't actually a kip.

"looking bad,"Nozzer agreed.

"poor people sodomite's off his feed look."Andy qipped pointing at an old Phoenician couple liberally coated with Tomato sauce cowering naked at the vertebral column of the cage.

"You'll have to get a new one I reckon,"Nozzer said unhelpfully.

"Oh majuscule helper,"Andy replied.

"What odds on him winning Friday ?"Nozzer asked.

Andy had a think and then said"If its Christians again it's a suddenly cert but Gauls, I reckon old Leo will run a bloody leage."

Nozzer nodded and went to check out the Chariots for Saturday raceway. His mate Benner was working on his two buck chariot carefully adjusting the tracking by walloping the wooden axle as hard as he could with a huge mallet.

"shtup sake Benner you'll female chest it mate,"Nozzer cautioned

"I don't fucking tending if I do,"Benner cursed,"Fucking understeers on the ledger entry to Lesmo 1 then oversteers on way out."

"Too much fucking information,"Nozzer suggested,"See yah."

Nozzer was bored, he worked nights working out the future tense from the headliner, it wasn't a bad job, lie on the cap for a few bit a couple of multiplication a month and pipe dream up some load of bolloks to tell the twats down the Senate. Writing it up was the worst, three ringlet all the Lapp for unlike departments. Anyroad it flummox Lion Taming and being a Gladiator.

He wandered up the Temple of Vesta to cause a bit of banter with the"Vestal Virgins."

There was a bit of a hurly burly. Some bird was getting chucked out of a a side door. Nozzer recognised her, she used to live near his gaff, her dad was summat in the Senate.

Nozzer wandered up to cling his snout in,"Analise ?"he queried.

"roll in the hay off deviate,"she replied sharply, before she recognised him."Oh sorry, you're Nostradamus ain't you ?"

"Yes, ring me Nozzer,"he replied helpfully.

"Bloody cunt have chucked me out, me dad will have a fit,"she stormed.

"But why ?"Nozzer asked.

"Do I have to draw a picture ?"she snapped,"They want Virgins."

"Oh,"Nozzer said awkwardly.

"I was having a crafty wank and got carried away,"she said.

"You are Analise ?"he enquired.

"Yes, sorry, they call me Swan Vesta in the temple, I thought you were after anal retentive,"she replied.

"I shouldn't mind as it happens,"Nozzer replied.

"Well forget it,"she snapped,"Oh fuck now what do I do, Dad'll go mad."

"Lie low for a bit ?"Nozzer suggested,"You can kip round my gaff if you like."

"In your bed ?"she asked.

"If you like,"he smiled.

"And if I don't ?"she asked

"You can slumber on the floor after I fucked you ?"he ventured.

"Oh well beggars can't be choosers,"she said happily as she gathered up her meager belongings,"Lead on."

Nozzer was gob smacked, usually he paid a few Sirstes for a bunk up with a slave and got tod to fuck off by free fair sex but suddenly here was a Bronx cheer what was up for it. He should suffer sensed a trap but his brain was definitely switched off and his bollocks firmly in control.

"Failed monthly inspection, said me Hymen was bust,"Analise explained,"Anyway what were you doing here ?"

"Bored, I was looking for household striver to maintain the theatre clean and that."he explained.

"And that ?"she asked.

"That,"he agreed.

"auditory sensation like you need a married woman,"she suggested.

"Right, so where do I find a wife ?"he asked.

"Are you blind or just stupid ?"Analise asked.

"Oh, look I didn't mean,"Nozzer said.

"Yes of course I will !"Analise gasped and kissed Nozzer on the cheek.

Nozzer was shocked,"Look"he said.

"Oh, lets get snipe your place and consumate it !"Analise taunted.

Nozzer warmed to the idea. Analise offered up a silent orison, Nozzer wasn't the intimately apprehension but his bed metre sleeping on the sett of the Autostrada.

In just a few bit they were in Nozzer's gaff. Analise gritted her teeth and slipped off her toga.

"Do you like what you see ?"she simpered.

"Uh ?"Hozzer replied but his putz spoke for him.

"Oh you are a big boy,"Analise exclaimed as she saw the front of his toga rise propelled by his pommel end, she had severe doubt that something that big would actually fit inside her.

She sat on the sharpness of the table, spread her legs, closed her eyes and dreamed some beautiful gladiator was about to spear her.

"Oh Annie you're so beautiful,"he husked and kissed her forehead.

Her twat began to feel moist. She kept her eyes tightly closed so she didn't have to look at Nozzer's ugly mug,"Do it !"she husked.

A searing infliction wracked her nous as Nozzer brutally shoved his nub into her soft yielding slit,"Awww, that fucking hurt !"she railed.

"Tis done now my dear,"Nozzer explained,"No more pain just pleasure."

"In your fucking dreaming partner you're tearing me in half !"she replied but the infliction was subsiding.

Actually it was starting to feel quite nice, Annie warmed to the idea, she opened her center, to be honest Nozzer didn't feeling quite as ugly, she could get used to this she decided.

"Oh that feels so Nice,"she cooed.

"Not bad is it ?"Nozzer agreed and he promptly shot his load.

Annalise wasn't expecting it, what with never having it before and that. All that love juice shot up inside her,"What the fuck's going on."she asked.

"Just frivol away me charge pet,"Nozzer explained,"Oh fuck I'm kn ackered."

"Is that it ?"Analise enquired.

"money box I'e had a kip and a feed,"Nozzer agreed,"Then game on rung two."

"In your dreams,"she replied,"Anyway we have to tell Daddy we're engaged."

Too late Nozzer sensed the hole,"Engaged ? I'm just letting you kip here ?"

"Oh you heartless fucking beast,"she wailed putting on a decent display of Nile Crocodile tears,"Professing that you love me only to spue me aside as soon as you've slimed me."

"Nice one,"I suppose adjacent off you'll be telling papa I fucking forced you ?"

"Err,"Analise stalled realising she'd been rumbled.

"wellspring rustle up a one-half in good order dowry and I'll shag marry you,"Nozzer offered.

"hawkshaw head, that's why I was a VV, Dad's too skint to pay a decent dowry,"Annie replied.

"Oh well let's see what he's offering,"Nozzer offered,"On the other hand net ball not, I got another stiffy. On your back skirt, it's your lucky day ! ”