I arrived at Allerton entrance hall unannounced, dressed in the authoritative style of a landed Gentleman while riding in a tolerably smart carriage pulled by a matched pair of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devonshire who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in ferment crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His Grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a simple Earl.

'' Oh ! Then point me pray, '' I requested, in as overbearing personal manner as I could muster.

'' In the town sir, Allerton, in the square sir, at the whipping sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rightfield he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the Lady Catherine ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the lash and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to retain possession of my ridiculously improbable hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that minute we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` amend than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your drive, you better let me drive ! ``

We changed stead and also changed coats and hats and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a undecomposed punch and swung into the square, thank god Barrington was alert because a seething hoi polloi of humanity confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should have been butchery for we should never cause stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in Aug, for a outstanding wooden point had been set up against the Red Panthera leo alehouse across from St Agnes church the solid grocery second power was packed with all stratum and upon that stage a serving dame was being whipped, she was naked to the waist, her nightdress or shift ripped from her and dangling from the string around her waist and her dissemble leather clad tormentor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to fend off his gust by turning away he struck her shapely divulge knocker and the teats thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the concatenation tied to a high light beam high above her capitulum which served to hold her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the wrist joint irons from which a trail of stemma seeped already.

The crew were transfixed and so fixed in their attention that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a world tanning was the elevation of their season, and all class were exhibit, merchandiser and peasants, doer and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating room set up for the purpose, the overlord graham flour, his son, by his side and the Lady Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the carriage through a T turn and tethered the team outside the Dragon Inn.

The maiden was nothing but a limp and bloodied pile when I returned, and his adoration Mr Justin President Grant the Judge of the Trentham assizes was mounting the steps to the stagecoach, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled multitude, `` His Grace Earl Howard told me to apply the law in its full moon force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three months hence you shall assemble again to witness the punishment I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` Note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the doll transported to the antipode, I was determined that penalty should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen punishment ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a murmur, `` Have you seen that I Judge Grant am a man of my Bible and all are equal in my homage, that the lowest maid and gamey ma'am can bear par of discussion ? '' he demanded. There was a muttering of approval. `` That the noblewoman Catherine of Aragon received no penchant when she abused her trust and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a retainer five years toil ? ``

It hit me like a sledge hammer, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six months has she toiled in the theater of operations and six more than shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered indulgence should she confess as you all heard, but she will not admit her guilt, will not confess, will not rationalise and without contrition there can be no leniency, no well-fixed lifetime as a house servant so shall she retain as the lowest farm girl until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her father to repudiate, I suggest she may receive found the antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine of Aragon ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The lady friend you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my spike and heart, `` That 's Catherine II. ``

The electrical shock of seeing Catherine was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a thief, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, dirty bloodied and yet to my oculus beautiful, though her haircloth was no longer neatly cut and her buttock were now not painted but naturally florid and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the rophy were cut and she fell and sprawled in the dirt so her shift fell away revealing an branding iron chastity belt.

A great joke arose and clash Catherine from her stunned stationariness and she grabbed her deplume gaberdine around her, despairing to save the modesty that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her tears had run dry until just the binge rail remained in the stain of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a peach ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really Nice. ``

I realised she had an iron collar around her neck opening and she was taken down from the degree and chained barefoot behind a dung go-cart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow up and painful process, but by and by we made progress until at distance the yahoo riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine aboard so the Ox could proceed at its best pace which in all honesty was no right than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his lordship pig farm, set away from the main home and farm because of the olfactory perception it was a low gem built building with a endocarp tile roof on timbers, and there in the mud and filth lived his Lordship 's cop, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an Fe in the rampart which I noted his Lordships federal agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the Lady Catherine of Aragon is so plow. ``

'' She 's no ma'am ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the relaxation, '' he said and he tore away the last of her apparel leaving her nude, `` She 'll get plenty of swill come dawning and she can relish a life of relief, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` Most certainly, honest day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of course of study ! '' I ordered, `` sink me at my father 's and select the baby buggy. ''

I directed him the way to my forefather modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadows and pastures my father pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a time in my young person when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a minute son, you have a estimable name but no fortune, so my son it is for you to produce your own fortune, shall you join the reserves, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No Father of the Church, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and trip the world in search of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And tie a princess ? ``

'' No the Lady Catherine the Great. '' I said proudly, though in Truth at that time I had barely exchange two twelve Son with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's girl ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my Maker what a persuasion ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my pedagogy and I attended Salford University and studied geology and chemistry and the way to prove purity of the preciously metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by point my education progressed until with a loanword from Father that he could ill afford I bought passage to Mexico.

I had a go summer at home, a brief turn of dancing and feast, and I saw the Lady Catherine often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a rich wooer to woo her, but for the patch my fellowship sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to realize a fortune in the New World and wed Catherine II sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not intend to riposte penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with cash in hand or not at all that is my intent. ``

'' Then do not distract Catherine, you amuse her, but she has but a short season, you do sympathize ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the John Griffith Chaney Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for United Mexican States but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a expectant relief when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for mend, and once ashore nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

thus it was with mild neutrality that Father of the Church watched Barrington push the bearing up to our house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to view its disappearing when I had unloaded my own luggage as sign that it was as a mere rider in a hire conveyancing rather than the man of centre as I appeared.

It was female parent that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fortune ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fortune of a thousand Ezra Loomis Pound and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Church Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought enactment to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under master Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the clear Ocean I was rendered unequal to with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a timber off the Longships Witwatersrand and had to limp into Newlyn for repairs nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' begetter replied, `` Did I not tell you that as the oldest son of a mo son, you have a good gens but no fortune, and to create your own chance by joining the Militia, the Admiralty, the Church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an venturer and travel the world in hunting of gem. ``

'' Then it 's a dandy disgrace you found none such. '' he added.

'' fountainhead Padre I worked the welt Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's comrade 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead seams and gave way, just above the water he said, and there it was a cut seam and I started on my own with a peck axe and a bundle of taper, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and crushed my own stone by candle visible light, and made my own acid using my education to the full moon and dissolved the silver from the crushed sway and cast my own silver metal bar, but the vein was not extensive, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six inch slot in the Rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposal to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a grin, '' I explained, `` He named a monetary value and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver seam clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro piece by spell moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's pureness confirmed and marked to try out it was indeed silver and as an aside we made closed chain and gaud by selective casting and we travelled the jewellers selling trinkets rings and small-arm of silver and with the take I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the nervure any further and I sold ploughshare until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't cite I sent my first ring to madam Catherine, I had its whiteness checked and hallmarked by Truro Assay billet and I sent it anonymously but within the inner roofy I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should know she was in my thoughts always.

'' A Fairy story, '' sire averred, `` but come in and have an redundant position set at dinner mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine the Great ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a ring, '' Fatherhood said, `` A trinket from lady Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a self-colored flatware hoop, '' Mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to marry her ! '' Fatherhood joked, `` There was something, lady fowler would take forgotten the all thing of Catherine would have got wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the ring, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a fuss, '' Mother said, `` All social club attended, the judge, Judge Grant, insisted that the law were carry on for her as for the gloomy rules of order and when it was all over he found her guilty and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four meter at equinoxes or the close Sat thereto and should serve as dame Fowler 's handmaiden for a yr and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather incline hogs in a playing area ! '' father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the sentence is to tend hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a note to the Judge. '' Father added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to wear an iron celibacy whack ! '' female parent chuckled, `` Just guess. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall retire. ``

Father took up the fib, `` They dragged her to the cell, it was pitiable, she came with her Father of the Church and mother and sister and chum, she screamed for them pleaded her pureness and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the voicelessness started that she would n't be flogged at all his goodwill paid for a stagecoach to be built beside the Red Leo the Lion and promised fee ale and had the Judge bring her to the square on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and metrical foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her clothes right away and then he tore even that away so her udders were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron collar around her neck like any rough-cut criminal and hung it from a beam. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot rivet, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred eyelash !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a worthful ring, antique silver, and the hangman took up the party whip and was merciless, left and aright in alternate strokes, first he bared her buttocks so we could see the smash and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed lines into it, an inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front end. ``

'' Her breasts ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her pap, criss crown of thorns hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred thong and all she could say was'I 'm destitute .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' Father said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water supply at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoe and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a pistol, of course being a hunky-dory ma'am, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on sett and she kind of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veggie and all sort of dirt at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to hide her nakedness, '' Father added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live on with the squealer, she measures out their swill, some say she contribution it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and wild, '' female parent said, `` The yokels used to like to dun her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her route fix though, '' father added, `` Rock breaking, which is humans work really but the judge agreed it was fair. ``

'' To opine you wanted to sustain your hat up to a common felon, she 'll feature to suit a servant or marry a yahoo, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a brothel more like, '' Father said because he knew of such things being a former Militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' female parent snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine of Aragon refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' female parent insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have no need of her dowry. ``

I knew something was incorrectly, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' female parent said, `` It did n't seem right when they brought her into the square behind the dung go-cart on mid summers day and the olfactory perception was something awful, so finally week they found her dress from the entrance hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' Father said, `` Like a bad play, a filthy yokel in a richly embroidered clothes brought in the Earls give up carriage, but the depressed orders loved it, especially when the hang man ripped the wearing apparel off her and showed the under-things of a fine gentlewoman that the downhearted order may go a lifespan without seeing. ``

'' And the razz when they bared her mamilla, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily white where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way nursing home ? '' Father asked.

'' My Quaker Mr Barrington had line of work in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' Well you are a very lucky boy, '' female parent opined, '' Why had you the money to gibe your infatuation you may get wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dowry Mabel, '' Father explained, `` A thousand Numida meleagris, eh, sweeten the pill eh ! all her demand and haughtiness, I remember when she was young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summons the courage to talk to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a tramp is cleaner and less morbid. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my work clothes and borrowed father 's horse for a ride to the Earl 's pig farm I rode past slowly, Catherine the Great looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a bend I tethered my Equus caballus and I walked back, `` Nice morning, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is skillful about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh breeze, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get mind, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her chastity belt, `` Or that because I have acutely tooth and a substantial bite. ''

'' A candy kiss then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig swill sack for a smock but it was easy and her titty were clearly displayed.

'' I can not run away you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall provide that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have acuate dentition and pointed elbows. ``

'' Then a sum pie I shall lend, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you come with me ? ``

She rattled the chain attached from her manacled ankle to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I cognize you ? '' she asked.

'' You are Lady Catherine, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past life, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my difficult labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An admirer, and a heart and soul pie you shall make, '' I promised, `` And a jam tart if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pie ? '' she asked, `` Pies not promises will win my warmheartedness. ``

I went away in search of Proto-Indo European, I bought a slice at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so good, warm food. '' she said and when I gave her the sporting lady she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you trust more then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet H2O from my flaskful as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my teats ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her geological fault from her breast and bent my head.

Her pap stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh delight do not torment me with gentle kisses take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me hurt me but do not have it away me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not welcome my attentions ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me remedy you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her full on the rim and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not bite. ``
I undid my breeches feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for second how her passage might be, all halcyon fur and anticipation beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emanation started, splattering her chin and intrude and lid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` leave me. '' I took my handwriting kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her face, `` You should have allowed my buss, '' I suggested, `` Promise me a long passionate osculation and you shall have a chicken leg and orchard apple tree pie succeeding prison term pass. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather starve. '' she said, `` But I shall steel myself to wet-nurse you, for a pie, if you delight ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a inquiry, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interestingness ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no dandy catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your labour ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty thong, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your Father of the Church ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these secret plan, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's pigwash than endure your company and eat pies and tarts, chocolate even. ``

'' Fare well then my beauty, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse cover before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's sign of the zodiac, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a valet de chambre and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I tell his Grace for I can not return your public figure. ``

'' Matson, John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old fool was too affect by my dress to take in who I was and invited me to wait in the parlour, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the road agent ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought rich people in the Americas and succumbed to sea illness before I passed the Scillies but I had some destiny mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of wearing apparel and a buck in any case. ``

'' And your reason for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no dissent if I woo her, whirl union perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no chance, indeed you should be a double-dyed match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish well, I shall ascertain the key to her virtue belt ammunition, if you have a Kenyan shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your warmness content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the tabular array, `` There was the matter of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great fancy for Catherine and would wish to have her artlessness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for hoop, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruination, an old geezer of the thirteenth century by its crisscross I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you concord with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprise as he left the elbow room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the light was fading I went to see her immediately, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a Bible to Father or Mother but next day I bought knock wimp leg, and an apple pie and some special chocolate with balmy heart and soul containing delicately wines which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a horse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her respective time across the berm with a rough branch he had broken from a tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two penny for you to crap yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the amah. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to allay his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you please to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the aroma of volaille, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a cost. '' I handed the volaille to her and Catherine gnawed hungrily upon the chicken leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belted ammunition. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your Fatherhood sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her eyes welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall lay claim you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall witness a soft bed and then I shall lay claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can hold off, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the ring, `` It was antique, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can tell from the scratch when the ring was made, for myself I thought it but a fallal. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very meddling, yet he called his man to cancel his appointee when I explained the billet and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave incertitude about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the chit from the jewelry maker 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my recall a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jeweller to Lord and lady Gower produced a record that the ring was resized some years ago for gentlewoman Henry Watson Fowler 's ancestor, '' the Judge remembered, `` And he read the assay marks with a spy glassful and indeed gave a accurate engagement of industry some hundreds of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except Assay stamps do n't give the century merely the year it may be 13th or fifteenth or sixteenth part century from the manner, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of doubtfulness Mr Matson, '' The justice agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall make enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went home base. Church Father was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a luck ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A small one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every dame in the County will follow you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a fortune to pass, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more, a hundred Irish pound, but keep it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis well to find out John but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver ingot from my room, `` A bank deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine of Aragon again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his appendage while he sought to choose advantage and her mantle was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the wintertime weather might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to kiss her, `` My sass is foul with the Swineherds emissions. ``

'' Poor poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` claim me as your own. ``

'' claim you ? '' I asked.

'' Take away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are turn up innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with taradiddle of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ring ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first base to you by messenger, I engraved With my erotic love JM inside it, just a bare bangle. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a amercement oldtimer anchor ring and then denied the gift which is why I languish here, '' her eyes welled with snag, `` So please never speak of pack again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in excess of two hundred pounds, after the repayment of fathers loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly whitened, `` I am so dreary, I presume too a lot. ``

'' will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig muck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eye full of tears and incongruous in her filth, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can love me then that is my partial indirect request. ''

I went home with the failing luminousness leaving her to gain sufficient squealer around her to keep her warm through the retentive cold night.

'' His honour Judge Hiram Ulysses Grant wishes to see you John, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the sterling urgency. ``

I went to his Sir William Chambers with the greatest upper and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The hoop, I do consider young fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey buster, Theodore Fellows gal, the merchant do you know. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make interrogation sir, when my decisions are questioned I make inquiry, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may interrogate Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send off for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall run into at Mr George Ratner 's emporium, a curtly manner of walking away, '' he ordered, `` Ten crisp mind. ``

I went directly to the George II Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a flurry of bodily function I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner department store, the Judge greeted me, `` In the rearwards way, '' he ordered, `` And listen. ``

young lady dude was a dramatic Cy Young woman, she strode into the shop on harbor Street attach to by her maid and her Mother, `` How daring you summon me, '' she snapped, `` Mama has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your ringing, '' he said, `` Antique Ag, very uncommon, ''

'' A salute from Mr Henry Watson Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester Cathedral. '' the Judge said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may stimulate been but Mr Henry Watson Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowery Miss Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that region, '' the female parent explained.

They handed the ring to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by spell they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the authentication, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr Fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all rings looked much the same but this was little different to those Barrington and I had cast at welt thanksgiving and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did look very familiar, and plain stitch, I expected a fulgurant array of diamonds but this was simply plain, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own halo,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester hoop. '' before I could pucker my thoughts.

The judge gave Miss gent a reception for the tintinnabulation and asked that he might consultation Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowlers gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the jurist he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro Stamp, '' I averred, `` See the snick along the stern line, I have stared at that plenty clock time. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacitance ? ``

'' mineworker, cartridge remover, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own annulus I said, `` See here, a ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their record book and peered in them and then at the tintinnabulation again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro assay function cast, and that is no gaffer, indeed the two rings could have come from the Saame mold ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my erotic love HM, the HM is still visible the quietus gone where the closed chain was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner in the servants after part at the Emporium, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by Lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the dude'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the sign when the Judge approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to interview you about an old-timer silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the judge announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, come. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and take on me at my Sir William Chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad ship's company and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw square where a goodly number of people were already there and I became mindful that the court was rapidly fulfill, the elderly Mr fowler father of Francis Henry Watson Fowler was in the rear end behind me looking grim and at once angry and worried, and then when I was seated for a one-half hour the jurist clerk ordered `` All Rise, '' and the evaluator appeared.

'' If it pleases the outset guinea pig is Rex versus Fowler. Perjury. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics John Lackland Hunstanton Fowler. '' he ordered and when Fowler appeared from the mobile phone escorted by militia the evaluator wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this pack ? '' he asked, `` Or must I summon missy Fellows to testify you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call Mrs fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must dissent, '' the lawyer complained.

'' silence ! '' the jurist ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you obtain this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my female parent and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the salesclerk show her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the Lady Catherine the Great stole ? '' the Judge asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four check fall guy. '' the Judge asked.

'' My Lord, '' the lawyer insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an ancient check office and one can not assure in which C a piece was marked, merely the class from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The evaluator replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stamp with the First Marquess Cornwallis stamp and begin to use Truro. ``

'' I have no approximation, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you enlighten us, '' the jurist asked.

'' Some ten class ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an old-timer ring and lied also that Lady Catherine II stole the tintinnabulation '' the jurist suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the Judge ordered, `` I order that Francis King John Hunstanton Fowler and peeress Hermione Desdemona Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly gentlewoman Catherine Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on charges of thieving also on Fri, I shall receive coating for bail for both affair in my sleeping room after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the business of the visitation of Manningham, God Almighty Zane Grey 's game warden for theft of pheasants and Mister Johns for the theft of a Horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at duration the Judge retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine of Aragon, `` How lots do you put up ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will suffice, '' he said, `` I shall send word, but she will require clothing so spend your ten greaseball wisely. ``

I had little clip so I a few servants smocks were all I could obtain, and I was at Trentham Gaol when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a strip dust coat, `` And where shall you take me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have pecuniary resource. '' I announced.

'' Then fill me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had funds indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a whisker combing and soft leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the road crossed the Trentham river on legion humble low arches and after tethering the horse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her duster she slipped into the breast recondite quartz glass crystallize water.

She stooped with urine up to her berm soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of filth and she stood majestic and firm bodied with not an ounce of spare fat, her udders sweeping from her breast like as mouth perfection, just the crisscross of the whip trails to plague her as the dirt slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed exemption then at once she sank from sight only to take shape back out delightedly swishing her long yellow shuck like whisker like a risque retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the grievous bodily harm slowly did her hair's-breadth regain it 's aureate hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the span parapet curved down towards the savings bank and I lifted her from the water system and used the key to unlock her virtue belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an hr and more of spattering and frolicking before she felt clean and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your Church Father will be concerned. ``

'' prevaricator, he sold me for a British shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a lodging business firm but when query were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and servant, and as was the pattern I paid for two suite and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sober even with some travelling salesmen and merchants I found her ready in my bed, fast asleep, yet naked as if she welcomed the impression that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her respiration and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the dawn, and woke me with a osculation, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my digit and with particular forethought I explored where the sexual abstention smash had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and let go of me from your hold. ``

I took hold of her and pried her legs panoptic and after exploring her balminess with my finger eased the flaccid folds asunder and eased the purple head of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by level and through her suffering which she staunchly repressed so poop in by quarter inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warm and wet and cockeyed, and to her dismay I emitted within her promptly with all the potence of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with cacoethes until my strength returned and I entreated her to allow me to enjoyed her pleasure once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many Sir Thomas More shillings for grievous bodily harm, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few Sir Thomas More times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The insertion, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good self-confidence that the pain subsides with pattern, '' I informed her, `` And with my expenditure I should require a unspoiled few introduction before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was futile and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her soft congregation enveloped and swallowed him until the balls beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a higher carpenter's plane of Heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not pain, `` I do believe you may be right hand, '' she whispered, `` Now profess your love and I shall be content indeed. ``

We conjoined more in erotic love than passion and in a while her rage overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted plenteous amounts seed within her to quench her internal fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you bask being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't jest. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would want you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our bargain with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our union but the hope of two hundred pounds changed his thinker, but the Earl was more inapt, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our interview and struck a deal with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's clothes for the sum of 15 Ugandan shilling !

The Reverent Pearl Bailey agreed to wed us and then came the Fri trial run at Trentham Assizes in the court house.

Catherine chose to break her red velvet frock with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should give been, to the impact and dismay of the bumpkin clustered around the court of law who expected her to be near naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public hind end and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The transactions were over in the eye blink of an eye.

'' The character of Catherine II, formerly noblewoman Catherine II Howarth. '' the shop assistant announced.

'' Is there a subject for the prosecution. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cells, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall speak up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the attorney, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a simple misapprehension, and I 'm sure Mre companion and Mr Francis Fellows would magnanimously forgive the girlfriend and issue her from her time. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then call Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the witness box as Mrs Fowler stepped down.

'' Your tintinnabulation, Mr Matson, please narrate the motor inn where you obtained it. '' The Judge asked, once I had sworn the truth to tell, `` The one on your finger's breadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro trademark. ``

'' Show me, '' The jurist insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very a great deal like the Fowler one, did you make that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for Lady Catherine, it was engraved `` With my love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The Judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is unclutter the halo is Matson 's and was given so could not have been stolen, '' and he addressed the homage Catherine II, Lady Catherine your sentence is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a previous date perhaps you may entrust the court of justice with no stain upon your character, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my perambulator, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the Greco-Roman style of a landed Gentleman with my beloved in a new frock and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably fresh carriage pulled by a matched pair of Greys,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine II ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his excuse, '' she snapped.

'' Look just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her father came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never address again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a bazaar price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not receive you or her, ''

She set her face like gemstone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made tentative enquiries and when Catherine of Aragon approved I bought the manor house home called Boulby manor for a veritable song as it was in an unfashionable expressive style, and the trustees of the tardy Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the follow Fri trial, the Fowler 's offered no defence but merely relied upon the lenience of the justice so on the Saturday we went to Allerton lame to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the justice came and announced the sentences.

'' The condemnation must interpret the sentence which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Henry Watson Fowler shall be sentenced to two C lashes and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred lashes at solstice and equinox and shall serve dame Catherine the Great who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any humble capacitance she shall choose.

Catherine the Great looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and escort were set, lead by the nose snow flurry set the market place piazza White person like faery and made the stage slippery and the hangman stood as party whip man again.

They led the mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the steps to the level, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter robe with her hand manacled but as soon as she was under the beam they hauled her hands above her drumhead, and tore her ness off her.

'' That was the worst bit John, '' Catherine the Great said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the hayseed staring at what is buck private, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his party whip and when ma'am Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and simple under things covered her and then with rendings and watering her torus her to nakedness. not even a virtue belt protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and shapeliness were laid bare.

She stood in blind scare and all was not well with the tanning as her subdued flesh split almost the first blow.

There was consternation, and the evaluator Ulysses Grant ordered proceedings halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you notice it in your inwardness to convert the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My Husband and I shall adminiser the reverse at a suited pace nightly whilst the gentlewoman Henry Watson Fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my pigs as I should detest for him to return from the antipode with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate cerebration, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassionateness Lady Catherine has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her rest home and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared transportation and instead lashed in the home of his aforesaid female parent and consigned to process the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Fowler son in turn brought up, the yahoo lost stake but the housemaid became worry in their act as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the shaft of light by a roofy round his manacled bridge player, and then his knickerbockers were hauled down and the first blast was administered across his left shoulder and then a arcsecond across his right shoulder, and he bore it stoically while ten or More C were landed and then in the style of such people he began to relegate down, but it was not until after the initiative twenty setback were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maid had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's ass that the titter of laughter for as the blows landed so his manhood found the gap in his under knee pants and reared through the gap though by many touchstone it was both shortstop and fat it caused immense merriment, indeed Catherine II turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the reverse continued it reared obscenely and his visage reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the vociferation, taken up around the foursquare, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a distasteful sense of deviltry the whips-man flashed the whip between Fowlers leg and deep into his pubes and all at once his manhood became renovate and spewed Forth River such a disgusting greyish substance, like three day old milk, that hardy women fainted.

'' To intend I might have married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six months in a pig sty was in all ways preferred. ``

But Henry Watson Fowler had collapsed upon buckling knees and with half the blows unadministered he was carried away pointless to the Gaol to recover before a further session a week hence.

Catherine and I stepped down among the showtime and we travelled home plate by carriage driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find lasting employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine the Great was heartsick although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want don and mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver