I arrived at Allerton Hall unannounced, dressed in the classic stylus of a shoot down Gentleman while riding in a tolerably smart rig pulled by a equal duo of Greys, driven by one Mr Barrington from Devon who had become my friend masquerading as a coachman.

The Earl Howarth 's Samuel Butler rushed out in turmoil crying `` Are you expected sir, only His Grace is away at the whipping Sir. '' His free grace indeed, as if he was a Prince or Archbishop not a mere Earl.

'' Oh ! Then direct me pray, '' I requested, in as imperious manner as I could muster.

'' In the Town sir, Allerton, in the square toes sir, at the lashing sir, '' he said deferentially whereas by rights he should be ordering us hence.

'' And the dame Catherine the Great ? '' I asked.

He paused as if confused, `` At the whipping sir. ``

'' Then to Allerton, '' I directed, and Barrington obeyed instantly cracking the lash and forth we lunged with flying hooves and myself desperate to hold back will power of my ridiculously tall hat..

'' I could get a taste for this John ! '' he turned and grinned at me and in that moment we shaved a gatepost by a whisker, `` better than mining, '' he commented.

'' Hah, not as lucrative, '' I laughed, `` And not as safe with your driving, you better let me take ! ``

We changed home and also changed coats and chapeau and we continued on our way, laughing.

I drove into Allerton at a unspoilt lick and swung into the square toes, thank god Barrington was alert because a hum mass of man confronted us and if he had not thrust the pitprop through a wheel there should give been carnage for we should never have stopped.

I sat and stared, never having seen its like except at a hanging in Bodmin in August, for a cracking wooden degree had been set up against the Red Lion alehouse across from St Agnes church the hale market square was packed with all year and upon that leg a serving doll was being whipped, she was naked to the waistline, her nightdress or duty period ripped from her and dangling from the train around her shank and her disguise leather clad persecutor, the hangman Jenkins I fancied, was flaying her already scarred and bloodied back and then as she sought to avoid his blows by turning away he struck her shapely disclose boob and the tit thereon with a measured ferocity.

Her hands were manacled and uselessly chained together and the chain tied to a senior high beam high above her head which served to concord her so she could do nothing but stand or swing uselessly from the radiocarpal joint irons from which a trail of blood seeped already.

The crowd were transfixed and so fixed in their aid that they paid us no heed but I supposed that a public whipping was the acme of their time of year, and all classes were present, merchandiser and barbarian, workers and nobility indeed the Earl and Countess looked on from tiered seating set up for the use, the Lord Graham, his son, by his side and the madam Phillipa his younger daughter with them, but I looked in vain for the Lady Catherine.

'' We 'll tether the horses and walk back, '' I suggested and I expertly backed the carriage through a T turn and tethered the team outside the Dragon Inn.

The maiden was nothing but a limp and bloodied mess when I returned, and his worship Mr Justin President Grant the jurist of the Trentham court of assize was mounting the steps to the stage, `` Observe and observe well one and all, '' he shouted to the assembled throng, `` His Grace Earl Howard told me to put on the law in its full-of-the-moon force, and here you see I shirked not my responsibility, and I commend and command that three month hence you shall assemble again to see the penalty I laid down. ``

He paused for breath, `` promissory note well that when I exercised leniency by refraining from having the skirt transported to the antipode, I was determined that punishment should never the less be carried out and seen to be carried out, and have you seen penalty ? '' he asked, `` Have you ? ``

There was a muttering, `` Have you seen that I Judge Duncan Grant am a man of my Son and all are adequate in my royal court, that the lowest maid and highest lady can expect equality of treatment ? '' he demanded. There was a murmur of commendation. `` That the Lady Catherine received no preference when she abused her trust and stole a trinket, as she called it, one that should cost a servant five yr labor ? ``

It hit me like a sled pounding, the serving wench was the Lady Catherine, all bloodied and beaten.

'' Six calendar month has she toiled in the W. C. Fields and six Sir Thomas More shall she toil, '' he shouted, `` I offered leniency should she confess as you all heard, but she will not intromit her guilt, will not confess, will not apologise and without contrition there can be no lenience, no slow life as a theater servant so shall she continue as the lowest farm miss until the after one year and a day then she shall be dismissed and be cast from her labours for her sire to repudiate, I suggest she may have found the Antipodes preferable so be be warned one and all, '' he shouted his voice rising to a crescendo, `` Thou shalt not steal. ``

'' That 's Catherine of Aragon ! '' I gasped to Barrington.

'' The girl you keep talking about ? '' he demanded.

'' Indeed. '' I replied, scarcely believing my capitulum and eyes, `` That 's Catherine the Great. ``

The cushion of seeing Catherine II was profound, to see her displayed so cruelly as a stealer, I could scarce believe it. I scarce recognised her as she was cut down, lousy bloodied and yet to my optic beautiful, though her hairsbreadth was no longer neatly cut and her buttock were now not painted but naturally ruddy and her shoulders firmed and muscled, and then as the rophy were cut and she fell and sprawled in the filth so her shift fell away revealing an atomic number 26 sexual abstention belt.

A great laugh arose and jarred Catherine from her stunned fixedness and she grabbed her torn smock around her, do-or-die to continue the modesty that in truth was lost, and all the while her eyes were crying but her bout had run dry until just the rip raceway remained in the obscenity of her face.

'' That 's your girl ? '' Barrington queried, `` She 's a beaut ! ``

'' Do n't joke, '' I warned.

'' I do not ! '' he said, `` I bet she scrubs up really nice. ``

I realised she had an atomic number 26 collar around her neck opening and she was taken down from the stage and chained barefoot behind a dung handcart hauled by an ox and so was she pulled from the square.

'' What now ? '' Barrington asked.

'' Find Catherine, '' I suggested, `` Follow that cart ! ``

It was a slow and painful process, but by and by we made progress until at length the yokel riding the cart saw we were no menace to them and pulled Catherine of Aragon aboard so the Ox could proceed at its full step which in all honesty was no considerably than when Catherine had been staggering behind.

Its destination was his lordship piggery, set away from the briny house and farm because of the olfaction it was a low endocarp built construction with a stone tile roof on timbers, and there in the mud and filth lived his Lordship 's squealer, and with them we soon discovered also resided Catherine chained as she was to an Fe in the rampart which I noted his Lordships agent fastened her chain with a pad lock.

'' And what 's your interest group here master Matson ? '' he asked as he spied me watching.

'' I have been away sir, '' I replied, `` I am most curious as to why the gentlewoman Catherine is so treated. ``

'' She 's no Lady ! '' he laughed, `` A sow like the sleep, '' he said and he tore away the last of her clothes leaving her naked, `` She 'll get heap of swill come morning and she can bask a lifetime of informality, '' he laughed, `` No sir I must ask that you be gone as this is private land. ``

'' Oh, yes indeed, '' I agreed, `` well-nigh certainly, serious day sir. ``

'' What now sir ? '' Barrington asked as we went away.

'' Find your beloved in Rotherham of row ! '' I ordered, `` Drop me at my father 's and strike the carriage. ''

I directed him the way to my fathers modest abode standing as it did high on the hillside overlooking meadow and lea my father pretended to the world that he owned, yet sadly such was not the case, indeed there was a clip in my early days when my father spoke to me earnestly, `` John, '' he said, `` You are the oldest son of a second gear son, you have a good gens but no fortune, so my son it is for you to create your own fortune, shall you join the Militia, the Admiralty, the church building ? he asked, `` Or the Law. ``

'' No father, '' I had answered `` I shall be an adventurer and locomote the cosmos in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Indeed, '' he exclaimed, `` And marry a princess ? ``

'' No the madam Catherine. '' I said proudly, though in Truth at that fourth dimension I had barely exchange two XII words with the girl.

'' Ha ! '' he exclaimed, `` Earl Howarth 's girl ! '' he laughed, `` Oh my lord what a view ! '' he laughed but Uncle Henry lent the money for my instruction and I attended Salford University and studied geology and interpersonal chemistry and the way to establish purity of the precious metals with an eye to seeking gold prospecting and so by degrees my teaching progressed until with a loan from begetter that he could ill afford I bought transition to Mexico.

I had a survive summertime at home, a legal brief spell of saltation and fetes, and I saw the madam Catherine the Great often, I amused her, it seemed, but she sought not amusement but a full-bodied wooer to woo her, but for the while my society sufficed when there was no more eligable batchelor present and indeed such was our companionability that the Earl himself challenged my intentions.

'' Why to earn a fortune in the New Earth and wed Catherine of Aragon sir, '' I replied.

'' And if you return penniless ? '' he asked.

'' I do not stand for to regress penniless, '' I explained, `` Either I return with fund or not at all that is my intention. ``

'' Then do not perturb Catherine the Great, you amuse her, but she has but a short circuit season, you do understand ? '' he asked reasonably.

'' I shall be gone before the London Season starts sir, '' I said, `` I shall not trouble her again unless I return well set up. ``

I set of for United Mexican States but sea sickness afflicted me and it was a capital rest period when we hit a gale off the Longships reef and had to limp into Newlyn for mending, and once ashore nothing would induce me to venture to sea ever again, and it was in Cornwall and not the new world that I made my fortune.

Thus it was with mild disinterest that father watched Barrington drive the pusher up to our house and then he watched in astonishment as I descended, only to view its fade when I had unloaded my own luggage as sign that it was as a mere passenger in a hire conveying rather than the man of substance as I appeared.

It was Mother that rushed to greet me, `` John where have you been ? '' she asked, `` Have you made your fate ? '' she asked.

I admitted to a fate of a thousand pounds and she insisted on hearing how I had fared before I even removed my bags from the roadside.

'' I have been mining silver medal, '' I said.

'' In the America 's ? '' Father asked.

'' No, Cornwall. '' I replied, `` I bought passage to Mexico from Plymouth on the `` Pallister '' under Captain Trelawney but as soon as we passed from the Tamar river into the open Ocean I was rendered incompetent with the sea sickness, and when we sprang a lumber off the Longships reef and had to gimp into Newlyn for repairs nothing would cause me to venture to sea ever again. ``

'' Ha typical ! '' founder replied, `` Did I not say you that as the older son of a endorse son, you have a adept name but no fortune, and to create your own fortune by joining the reserves, the Admiralty, the Christian church ? he asked, `` Or the Law ? ``

'' Yes Father, '' I agreed, `` And I said I shall be an adventurer and trip the world in lookup of treasure. ``

'' Then it 's a enceinte shame you found none such. '' he added.

'' Well founder I worked the Wheal Claire mine, Captain Trelawney 's brother 's mine and found silver. '' I told him, `` He thought I made a pittance from Tin, but it was silver, he said there was tin there in the worked out lead seams and gave focus, just above the water he said, and there it was a cut bed and I started on my own with a lot axe and a pile of taper, and I recognised the silver bearing ore and crushed my own rock by candle light, and made my own acid using my education to the full and dissolved the flatware from the crushed rock and cast my own silver block of metal, but the vein was not all-embracing, too thin to mine easily so I cut and propped barely a six column inch one-armed bandit in the rock and gradually worked all I could reach.

When it was all but worked out I made Telawney an offer, `` What say you that I buy the mine, '' I put the proposition to him. ''

'' His old face turned into a smile, '' I explained, `` He named a price and I agreed, and then I recruited Barrington at Devonport near Plymouth and we scraped that silver bed clean as deep as we dared, and we, Barrington and I took our treasure to Truro objet d'art by firearm moulded and cast into ingots and had it 's honor confirmed and marked to prove it was indeed Ag and as an aside we made mob and novelty by selective casting and we travelled the jeweller selling trinkets gang and pieces of ash gray and with the proceeds I paid for the mine, and then we showed portions of it to selected men of wealth saying there was sliver there and machinery was needed to mine the nervure any far and I sold shares until I was quite bought out and now I am returned. ``

I did n't mention I sent my first ring to Lady Catherine, I had its sinlessness checked and hallmarked by Truro check office and I sent it anonymously but within the inner rophy I engraved, `` To my love JM. '' so she should cognise she was in my thoughts always.

'' A queer story, '' Father averred, `` but come in and have an spare plaza set at dinner Mother. ``

'' What happened to Lady Catherine ? '' I asked as we relaxed after dinner,

'' She stole a ring, '' Father said, `` A trinket from Lady Henry Watson Fowler. ``

'' Yes, a square silver ring, '' mother said, '' From Lady Fowler. ``

'' Oh it was all over the County and to think you thought to conjoin her ! '' Father joked, `` There was something, ma'am Fowler would have forgotten the whole matter of Catherine would have wed her Francis, but she refused and avowed Francis sent her the band, which he denied. ``

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Oh it was such a tizzy, '' female parent said, `` All order attended, the justice, Judge Grant, insisted that the law were carry on for her as for the depleted gild and when it was all over he found her hangdog and ordered she should be stripped of her finery and her titles and whipped four times at equinoxes or the nearest Saturday thereto and should attend as Lady Fowler 's servant for a yr and a day. ``

'' She said I should rather be given Sus scrofa in a plain ! '' Father added, `` So the Judge he said. ``

'' He said very well, the conviction is to tend hogs, '' Mother squealed.

'' And his Grace passed a note to the justice. '' Father-God added.

'' And the Judge ordered her to jade an iron chastity belt ! '' female parent chuckled, `` Just imagine. ''

'' What happened ? '' I asked.

'' Tell him Gerald, '' Mother suggested, `` I shall go to sleep. ``

male parent took up the tale, `` They dragged her to the electric cell, it was pitiful, she came with her founder and female parent and sister and brother, she screamed for them pleaded her innocence and they just watched as she was taken away, silently, and then when the whisper started that she would n't be flogged at all his saving grace paid for a stage to be built beside the Red Lion and promised fee ale and had the Judge bring her to the square toes on the Saturday of the equinox all dressed up, but chained hands and foot and there they had the hangman strip her to her under shift, tearing her dress right away and then he tore even that away so her bag were free and then he called the blacksmith and they had a hearth going and they rivetted an iron pinch around her neck like any common criminal and hung it from a ray of light. ``

'' Rivetted ? '' I queried.

'' Red hot stud, how she screamed, '' he said, and then the judge said 'One hundred lashes !'One hundred, that 's twice the usual for a thief but you see it was a valuable ring, antique silver, and the hangman took up the whip and was merciless, left and right in take turns stroking, first he bared her can so we could see the belt and when he made her bleed there he bared her back and then thrashed wrinkle into it, an column inch apart every inch very near he covered, and when he tired of that he thrashed her front line. ``

'' Her chest ? '' I gasped in astonishment.

'' Yes and her nipple, criss crossbreed hither and thither her ams were shackled overhead so she could not protect herself you see and her belly, he whipped that, some it was nearer two hundred lashes and all she could say was'I 'm innocent .'

'' Then what ? '' I asked.

'' Oh she fainted, '' begetter said remembering, `` So they revived her with throwing water at her from chamber pot, then he finished thrashing, they tore off her shoes and stockings and they drew the Earl 's muck spreading cart up and chained her behind it and set the ox off with a report from a side arm, of course of action being a hunky-dory gentlewoman, ''

Mother returned, `` Oh yes she was n't used to walking barefoot on cobble and she sort of jumped and hopped and everybody laughed and hooted and threw rotted veg and all form of smut at her. ``

'' They put a sack around her to blot out her bareness, '' Fatherhood added, `` And they took her to the Earls pig sty and let her sleep and live with the pigs, she measures out their swill, some say she parcel it because they do n't feed her. ``

'' And how is she ? '' I asked.

'' Filthy and raging, '' mother said, `` The yokels used to like to torment her but they do n't see the point anymore so she gets left alone. ``

'' The Beadle has her route mending though, '' founding father added, `` rock and roll breakage, which is mans work really but the judge agreed it was bazaar. ``

'' To think you wanted to bear your hat up to a usual felon, she 'll have to get a servant or splice a yahoo, '' Mother said.

'' Enter a bagnio more like, '' don said because he knew of such things being a previous militia man.

'' Gerald please ! '' Mother snapped.

'' I see, and all because Catherine refused the Fowler boy. '' I suggested.

'' Oh no, she stole the ring all right. '' Mother insisted, `` The Fowler 's would have no demand of her dowry. ``

I knew something was haywire, but what ?

'' Oh of course she 's been whipped since then, '' Mother said, `` It did n't look right when they brought her into the square behind the dung pushcart on mid summers day and the smell was something awfully, so last-place week they found her clothes from the hall and dressed her without bathing her. ``

'' It was, well, '' forefather said, `` Like a bad play, a foul yokel in a richly embroidered dress brought in the Earls supererogatory carriage, but the lower orders loved it, especially when the knack man ripped the attire off her and showed the under-things of a okay ma'am that the lower orders may go a lifetime without seeing. ``

'' And the hoot when they bared her nipple, '' Mother added, `` You see she was healed up almost lily T. H. White where the dirt flaked off. and then he cut her again, left her bleeding again. ``

'' I know, I saw, I was there, '' I said, `` At the end. ``

'' Oh, on your way house ? '' Father asked.

'' My Quaker Mr Barrington had occupation in Rotherham, '' I explained.

'' fountainhead you are a very lucky boy, '' Mother opined, '' Why had you the money to tally your infatuation you may get wed a thief. ``

'' He wanted her dower Mabel, '' founder explained, `` A thousand wop, eh, sweeten the contraceptive pill eh ! all her requirement and haughtiness, I remember when she was Pres Young you went to her birthday and she just ignored you ! ``

'' It was not that, she was so beautiful I could not summon the braveness to speak to her. '' I said.

'' Well, '' Mother suggested, `` She 's not beautiful now, even a bum is cleaner and less pathological. ``

I ignored mother 's jibe.

Next morning I donned my working clothes and borrowed Father 's horse cavalry for a drive to the Earl 's piggery I rode past slowly, Catherine II looked through me as I passed so I ignored her also but when I had rounded a bend I tethered my cavalry and I walked back, `` Nice daybreak, '' I said cheerily.

'' What exactly is skillful about it ? '' she asked with a sarcasm completely at betting odds with her station.

'' Fresh picnic, pretty girl, what more could a man desire. '' I asked.

'' Do n't get ideas, '' She said as she banged her manacled wrist against her virtue belt, `` Or that because I have sharp teeth and a firm bite. ''

'' A osculate then, a gentle caress of your, '' I paused, she had donned a pig pigwash sack for a duster but it was idle and her white meat were clearly displayed.

'' I can not break loose you so I shall ask only for a pastie, or a meat pie, and for that I shall allow that you may caress, suckle, do what you will. '' she said, `` Otherwise I have sharp teeth and pointed elbow joint. ``

'' Then a essence pie I shall fetch, '' I agreed, `` Or shall you accompany me ? ``

She rattled the range of mountains attached from her manacle ankle joint to the pigsty wall, `` I am afraid I am indisposed. ``

'' So I understand, '' I answered.

'' Do I bonk you ? '' she asked.

'' You are Lady Catherine of Aragon, yes ? '' I asked in reply.

'' Yes, I was once on a past times aliveness, and you are ? '' she clearly had not recognised me, perhaps my hard labour had made a man of the boy she once knew..

'' An champion, and a kernel pie you shall sustain, '' I promised, `` And a jam bawd if you please me. ``

'' Do n't mock, and where have you the money for pies ? '' she asked, `` Proto-Indo European not promises will win my fondness. ``

I went away in lookup of pie, I bought a slice at the Red Lion and a jam tart and hurried back, to her.

She devoured the meat pie ravenously, `` Oh that tastes so good, warm solid food. '' she said and when I gave her the tart she said, `` You said if I pleased you ? what are your terms.

'' None, but should you trust more then entice me ! '' I suggested as she savoured the sweet water from my flask as she ate.

'' Shall you play with my mammilla ? '' she asked, `` As the yokels do ? ``

'' I should be honoured, '' I said and I gently slipped her shift from her breast and bent my head.

Her teat stiffened as I touched it, `` Oh please do not torment me with ennoble buss take what you will, '' she pleaded, `` Bite me spite me but do not love me for I can not bear it. ``

'' You do not receive my attending ? '' I asked.

'' No, not this, let me let off you swiftly I shall not bite I promise, you may use my lips. '' she said and I kissed her to the full on the backtalk and she recoiled, `` No your member ! '' she cried, `` I shall not sting. ``
I undid my knickers feeling unsure of myself, `` Oh, my it 's, ah it 's bigger than, '' she said.

She looked so apprehensive, so lovely, I imagined for minute how her enactment might be, all gilded fur and prevision beneath the iron straps and it happened, uncontrollably my emission started, splattering her chin and nose and eyelid, `` You beast you betrayed me ! '' she squealed.

I apologised, `` You are too beautiful, '' I stammered, `` allow me. '' I took my hand kerchief and moistened it and wiped the seed from her brass, `` You should suffer allowed my kisses, '' I suggested, `` foretell me a long passionate kiss and you shall have a wimp leg and orchard apple tree pie next clip offer. ``

'' And leave me all wanting, I think not, I should rather starve. '' she said, `` But I shall sword myself to suckle you, for a pie, if you please ? ``

I left her to her labours, except I had a query, `` Why did you steal the ring ? ``

'' I never stole anything ! '' she insisted, `` Francis gave it to me ! '' she insisted, it amused me so I wore it and then when I refused Francis his Mother insisted it were hers and had I stolen it ! '' she explained, `` But why your interest ? ``

'' Oh, I suppose, well I 'm no swell catch, '' I said, `` But I own I should like to lay abed with you when your British Labour Party ceases. ``

She hit me, `` That is twenty lash, '' I said, `` Now say you 'll wed me and it will be forgotten. ``

'' No, lash away, never. '' she averred.

'' Then I shall petition your father ! '' I announced.

'' You are cruel with these secret plan, '' she insisted, `` I shall rather eat pig 's slops than endure your ship's company and eat pies and tarts, chocolate even. ``

'' transportation well then my stunner, '' I said and trudged away, but I returned on horseback, `` Until the morrow, '' I said and threw her my horse blanket before riding away.

I went again to the Earl 's family, riding horseback this time, all dressed like a Gentleman and I was accepted as such, and invited in directly, `` Begging your pardon sir but whom should I say his gracility for I can not recall your name. ``

'' Matson, King John Matson, '' I replied, `` I came once before. '' I explained.

The old motley fool was too impress by my dress to actualize who I was and invited me to wait in the living-room, and the Earl appeared presently, `` Matson, son of Gerald Matson, '' he said, `` I seldom forget a face.

'' Indeed your Grace. '' I replied.

'' Have you been ennobled ? '' he chuckled, `` Or are you Black Ned the highwayman ? ``

I laughed, `` No indeed, I am a run out adventurer who sought wealth in the Americas and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck excavation in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a sawbuck in any case. ``

'' And your reason for calling ? '' he asked.

'' Catherine, '' I replied.

'' There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her sake me not a fig. '' he said more with sorrow than anger.

'' Then you have no expostulation if I woo her, crack wedlock perhaps ? '' I asked.

'' You, a fraudster with a suit and a Equus caballus and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect compeer, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall detect the key to her chastity belt, if you have a Tanzanian shilling. ''

'' Sir, '' I protested, but he was searching his air pocket, and drew out a silver key.

'' Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts content. '' he said.

I found a shilling and placed it upon the table, `` There was the thing of of a ring, '' I explained, `` I have a great partiality for Catherine and would wish well to take her whiteness proven. ``

'' Oh she had a penchant for rings, '' he explained, `` It brought her ruin, an antique of the thirteenth C by its marks I believe, hugely valuable, hugely embarrassing, so I shall ask you to kindly never darken my door again should you consort with her, and now if you will excuse me, '' he said quite quietly as he stood to leave, and to my surprisal as he left the room he pocketed my shilling.

It was quite strange, indeed very strange to be given a free hand with the Lady Catherine, indeed although the lightness was fading I went to see her forthwith, but she was sleeping contentedly under my horse blanket so I let her lie.

I said not a word to Father or female parent but next day I bought roast volaille leg, and an apple pie and some special chocolate with soft pith containing amercement wine-colored which I took to her, but the Earl 's pig man was chastising her for possessing a horse blanket.

'' She is keeping it safe for me, '' I informed him as I approached, but already he had struck her various times across the berm with a rough branch he had broken from a Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree nearby.

'' And who be you ? '' he asked.

'' Two pence for you to wee yourself scarce, '' I explained, `` I am come to woo the maidservant. ``

'' Ha ! '' he laughed but twopence was sufficient for him to snuff out his thirst in ale and as I proffered it so he grasped it and hurried away.

'' You came back ? '' Catherine exclaimed.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` Are you pleased to see me ? ``

'' If that 's the olfactory sensation of chicken, '' she smiled, `` Tell me are you John, Gerald Matson 's son ? ``

'' I am and it is indeed, '' I agreed, `` But there is a price. '' I handed the chicken to her and Catherine the Great gnawed hungrily upon the volaille leg and peered at me. I dangled the key to her chastity belt. She stopped chewing.

'' How ? '' she asked, `` How did you ? ''

'' Your father sold it for a shilling. '' I told her and her optic welled with tears, she sobbed softly, `` I shall take you when you are released, first you shall bathe and then we shall line up a soft bed and then I shall claim you. ``

'' Do you not desire me ? '' she asked, `` Now, like this ? ``

'' I can wait, '' I admitted, `` But can you resist me, '' I produced the pie, and then the chocolates.

'' No ! '' she admitted, `` I can not. ''

I just smiled and enquired about the tintinnabulation, `` It was antiquate, '' she replied, '' A Mr Allenbroke testified as to its antiquity, it seems they can severalise from the sucker when the doughnut was made, for myself I thought it but a trinket. ``

'' And where is the Ring now ? '' I asked.

'' I know not. '' she explained.


I went not to the house but sought instead the Judge Ulysses Grant. He knew of my father and so he allowed me an audience for ten minutes as he was very busy, yet he called his man to scratch his designation when I explained the state of affairs and that I was enamoured of Catherine and I had grave uncertainty about the evidence against her.

'' Did they have the provenance, the chit from the Jeweller 's ? '' I asked.

'' From my anamnesis a Mr Allenby of Allenby and Gough, the jewellers to Lord and Lady Gower produced a record that the ringing was resized some years ago for Lady Fowler 's ascendent, '' the judge remembered, `` And he read the assay target with a spy glass and indeed gave a precise particular date of manufacture some 100 of years prior. ``

'' So it sounded correct, '' I agreed, `` Except check mold do n't give the hundred merely the twelvemonth it may be 13th or 15th or 16th C from the fashion, but not from the marks sir. ``

'' You have sowed a seed of doubt Mr Matson, '' The evaluator agreed, `` A seed no more, but I shall urinate enquiries, indeed I shall. ``

I thanked him for his time and went plate. begetter was in an irritable mood, and after dinner he tackled me, `` You say you have a fortune ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed, '' I agreed, `` A diminished one. ``

'' As long as it was honestly obtained, '' he said, `` Every bird in the County will prosecute you if this is known. '' he averred, `` How I wish I had a tenth of a portion to expend, '' he said.

'' Then I shall repay what you lent me and more than, a hundred pounds, but go on it between us. '' I insisted. He smiled broadly.

'' Tis respectable to get wind whoremaster but it will be even better when it is in my hand. ``

I found him a silver medal metal bar from my room, `` A bank deposit, '' I insisted, yet we both knew it was far more than I owed.

I went to see Catherine again, the swine herd had whipped her again when she bit his process while he sought to take aim reward and her mantle was stolen so I found her a blanket and a hot meal, and I worried that the wintertime atmospheric condition might yet see her perish.

'' Do n't John, '' she said as I sought to buss her, `` My backtalk is foul with the pigman expelling. ``

'' poor poor Catherine, '' I said.

'' If you will you may, '' she whispered softly, `` claim me as your own. ``

'' title you ? '' I asked.

'' contain away the iron, '' she invited, `` If you will. ``

'' Not until you are proven innocent, '' I agreed.

I stayed with her and regaled her with tales of Cornwall, `` Did you get my ringing ? '' I asked, `` I made several, but I despatched the first gear to you by messenger, I engraved With my dearest JM inside it, just a uncomplicated trinket. ``

'' No, I never received any trinket, Francis gave me a okay antique ring and then denied the endowment which is why I languish here, '' her optic welled with rip, `` So delight never speak of ringing again. ``

I told her something about my fortune which I admitted to being in surplusage of two hundred Cypriot pound, after the refund of Father-God loan.

'' So I shall not enjoy finery as Mrs Matson, '' she laughed, and then she went deathly white, `` I am so drab, I presume too much. ``

'' Will you marry me ? '' I asked, `` I shall not kneel because of the pig guck but please say you will Catherine. ``

She laughed, her eye entire of split and incongruous in her grunge, and she said so sweetly, `` If you can have sex me then that is my fondest wish. ''

I went home with the failing light leaving her to gather sufficient hogs around her to hold back her warm through the long moth-eaten night.

'' His Honour judge Grant wishes to see you Saint John, '' Father announced when I returned, `` He said it was of the greatest urgency. ``

I went to his chambers with the large speed and once there I was at once ushered into his presence, `` Ah Matson, '' he said, `` The tintinnabulation, I do trust young Henry Watson Fowler may have given it to Miss Maisey boyfriend, Theodore associate gal, the merchant do you recognise. ``

'' Sir ? '' I said.

'' I make inquiry sir, when my determination are questioned I make query, '' he said `` And I have spoken to Mr Fellows and he has agreed we may question Maisey. ``

'' Indeed ? '' I queried.

'' I shall send for her directly, '' he said and shouted for his man, `` And tomorrow at Ten o'clock we shall run into at Mr George II Ratner 's department store, a short walk away, '' he ordered, `` Ten sharp-worded mind. ``

I went directly to the George Inn where I put up and in the morning, and when I was woken with a wonderful breakfast served in bed I dressed and with a ado of body process I quickly found myself hurrying to the Ratner emporium, the Judge greeted me, `` In the punt elbow room, '' he ordered, `` And hear. ``

girl Fellows was a striking young woman, she strode into the shop on oasis Street keep company by her maid and her Mother, `` How dare you summon me, '' she snapped, `` mammy has invited Mr Fowler this evening. ``

The judge smiled, `` It is your mob, '' he said, `` Antique silver grey, very rare, ''

'' A present from Mr Fowler, '' she said, `` What of it ? ``

'' We believe one like it was stolen from Winchester cathedral. '' the justice said misleadingly, `` May I see ? ``

She pulled it from her finger, `` It may have been but Mr Fowler gave it to me. '' she insisted.

'' And your dowry missy Fellows the Judge enquired.

'' A thousand pounds or in that region, '' the female parent explained.

They handed the ringing to Mr Spey, Mr Ratner 's man and by good turn they examined it minutely, `` It may well be the one. '' Mr Ratner agreed, the trademark, do you see, oh four, we had better see where Mr fowler obtained it. ''

'' May I see ? '' I asked, ordinarily all mob looked much the Saami but this was little different to those Barrington and I had cast at Wheal Grace and when they allowed me the use of the glass and I also examined the ring, although I knew very well, it was the Truro hallmark.

It did seem very familiar, and knit, I expected a dazzling raiment of diamonds but this was simply knit stitch, I peered closely, there was an inscription HM and suddenly it hit me that it was my own ring,

'' Ah, Cornwallis, '' Mr Sprey agreed, `` Like the Winchester annulus. '' before I could gather my thoughts.

The judge gave misfire Fellows a receipt for the ring and asked that he might interview Mr Fowler later, and so it was that with the Fowler gone Mr Ratner turned to Sprey and in the presence of the Judge he said, `` I would say this century. ''

'' That is the Truro mould, '' I averred, `` See the notch along the bottom line, I have stared at that enough prison term. ``

'' Indeed Mr Matson ? '' Mr Sprey asked, `` In what capacity ? ``

'' miner, cartridge extractor, and a very poor Silver-smith, '' I replied, and taking my own ring I said, `` See here, a anchor ring I made myself, '' and as they looked I added, `` With the Truro stamp. ``

They peered and peered again, and took their books and peered in them and then at the anchor ring again and then Mr Sprey said, `` Indeed, that is the new Truro Assay office stamp, and that is no antique, indeed the two rings could have come from the like stamp ! ``

'' They did, '' I said, `` The Fellows one was inscribed with my making love HM, the HM is still visible the sleep gone where the tintinnabulation was re sized. '' I paused, `` I sent it to Catherine of Aragon anonymously as a token. '' I admitted.

We ate our dinner party in the servants one-quarter at the department store, the Judge, myself, Mr Ratner and Mr Sprey the Jeweller, and afterwards we were joined by lieutenant Gervais and five soldiers of the militia and we went to the bloke'abode and there we waited for Mr Fowler.

Mr Fowler had barely walked in the mansion when the jurist approached him, `` Mr Fowler, I have to query you about an antique silver ring. ``

'' What ring ? '' he asked.

'' This one, '' the justice announced as he pulled the ring from his pocket.

'' It was mother 's '' he said, `` Why ? ``

'' Then we shall interview her, occur. '' he ordered, and turned to me. `` Mr Matson, I suggest you proceed homewards and cope with me at my chambers at nine tomorrow. ``

I went rest home and I fretted and I was thoroughly bad party and indeed I slept badly and I eventually rose at dawn.

The Judge was indisposed when I attended, and his manservant sent me down to the courthouse in Frenshaw second power where a healthy number of people were already there and I became aware that the motor lodge was rapidly filling, the sometime Mr fowler father of Francis Fowler was in the seats behind me looking grim and at once furious and worried, and then when I was seated for a half hr the Book of Judges shop assistant ordered `` All Rise, '' and the Judge appeared.

'' If it pleases the number 1 causa is Rex versus Fowler. lying under oath. '' the clerk announced. `` Fetch the prisoner. ``

'' If it pleases your worship, '' an insignificant little lawyer announced.

'' No it does n't please me bring Franics St. John Hunstanton fowler. '' he ordered and when Henry Watson Fowler appeared from the cell escorted by militia the judge wasted no time, `` Where did you obtain this ring ? '' he asked, `` Or must I cite Miss bloke to prove you gave it to her. ``

'' It was mother 's, a family heirloom, '' he lied.

'' So let us call off Mrs fowler. '' he ordered.

'' I must protest, '' the attorney complained.

'' muteness ! '' the evaluator ordered, `` Mrs Fowler, if you please. ``

She strode in from the waiting room, `` So where did you get this antique ring ? '' he asked.

'' From my mother and from her mother before her, '' she lied convincingly.

'' And this is the one ? '' he asked and had the salesclerk appearance her the ring.

'' Yes, this is the one I gave dear Francis for his beloved. '' she replied.

'' The one the peeress Catherine stole ? '' the evaluator asked.

'' Why yes ! '' she agreed.

'' Then how do you explain the Truro oh four check mark. '' the justice asked.

'' My Lord, '' the attorney insisted on being heard, `` Truro is an antediluvian Assay position and one can not state in which century a piece was marked, merely the year from nought to ninety nine but no more. ''

'' I thank you, '' The evaluator replied, `` And when did the Truro office cease to stamp with the Cornwallis stamp and set about to use Truro. ``

'' I have no idea, '' the Lawyer confirmed.

'' Mr Ratner, can you clear us, '' the jurist asked.

'' Some ten geezerhood ago sir. '' he replied.

'' You fool Francis, '' Mrs Fowler cried.

'' I ah, '' Francis sought desperately for an answer.

'' You lied that this is an antique pack and lied also that Lady Catherine stole the gang '' the Judge suggested.

'' No, '' he protested uselessly.

'' Enough ! '' the justice ordered, `` I order that Francis bathroom Hunstanton Fowler and Lady Hermione Desdemona Book of Ruth Fowler be detained securely until this Friday week when they shall be tried for perjury, and that Miss Catherine formerly ma'am Catherine the Great Howarth be arrested and brought before me for retrial on kick of thieving also on Friday, I shall take in application for bail for both matters in my bedroom after this hearing.

I slumped in my seat, the business of the visitation of Manningham, Divine Grey 's Gamekeeper for theft of pheasants and Mister Johns for the theft of a horse which he had apparently not stolen at all washed over me until at length the justice retired.

I approached and offered bail for Catherine, `` How lots do you declare oneself ? '' he asked.

'' I have twenty guineas here, sir, '' I offered.

'' Ten will answer, '' he said, `` I shall post word, but she will postulate clothing so spend your ten guineas wisely. ``

I had niggling metre so I a few handmaiden smocks were all I could prevail, and I was at Trentham gaol when the Militia brought Catherine back. She was dressed in a Militiaman 's tunic, `` I have come to stand bail '' I announced and when I paid the bail the guard released her manacles.

'' You ? '' she said, as I handed her a plum smock, `` And where shall you adopt me ? ``

'' Home ? '' I suggested.

'' Have you soap, towelling ? '' she asked.

'' No but I have funds. '' I announced.

'' Then take me to soap and water. '' she demanded.

I had monetary resource indeed but she was unwelcome in any shop so I purchased such for her and a hair comb and soft leather slippers then we rode together to the river to Boulby bridge where the route crossed the Trentham river on numerous small low arches and after tethering the sawhorse she slipped over the parapet and casting aside her duster she slipped into the breast oceanic abyss vitreous silica unclouded water.

She stooped with water up to her berm soaping herself and washing herself and the glorious pinkness of her slowly emerged from her coat of crud and she stood majestic and firm bodied with not an snow leopard of plain fat, her bag sweeping from her breast like as utter flawlessness, just the cross of the whip trails to blight her as the nastiness slipped away and my manhood stirred mightily at the sight of it.

She stretched and luxuriated in her unaccustomed freedom then at once she sank from sight only to form back out delightedly swishing her long yellow stalk like hair like a naughty retriever dog, and yet with copious use of the soap slowly did her hair regain it 's golden hue and refreshed she came to the of the river where the bridge parapet curved down towards the depository financial institution and I lifted her from the piddle and used the key to unlock her sexual abstention belt.

Then tenderly I dried her, but she felt dirty still and it was an time of day and Sir Thomas More of spatter and frolicking before she felt uninfected and donned a new smock and sat with me as I combed her hair.

'' I shall take you home, '' I said, `` Your father will be concerned. ``

'' prevaricator, he sold me for a shilling, '' she complained

I was nonplussed, I considered a living accommodations theater but when head were asked we were ejected so finally we booked into the Trentham Hotel, as master and servant, and as was the praxis I paid for two way and used but one.

She ate heartily with the handmaid that evening and when I retired following a good-time but sober eventide with some travelling salesmen and merchant I found her ready in my bed, fast at rest, yet naked as if she welcomed the notion that we should conjoin.

I undressed entirely and lay listening to her breathing and then succumbed to sleep but she woke with the aurora, and woke me with a osculation, which I reciprocated, her warmth aroused me and I explored her entirely with my fingers and with finical tutelage I explored where the chastity belt had been, and then she said, `` You paid you shilling, now take what you are owed and release me from your delay. ``

I took hold of her and pried her ramification wide and after exploring her softness with my finger eased the mild crease asunder and eased the empurple head word of my manhood into her soft wetness and then she grasped it and I as I heaved mightily so by degrees and through her agony which she staunchly repressed so quarter inch by quarter inch I claimed her and with a cry she was truly mine.

She was all I ever dreamed of warmly and wet and tight, and to her consternation I emitted within her promptly with all the authorization of abstention and then did I insist on kissing her with rage until my potency returned and I entreated her to reserve me to savor her delights once more.

She demurred, she resisted, `` I have paid a shilling, and many Sir Thomas More shillings for soap, I do believe you owe me the courtesy of allowing my attentions a few more times. ``

'' But it pains me ! '' she explained, `` The intromission, it distresses me greatly though I try to suppress my distaste out of gratitude. ``

I thought briefly, `` I have it on good authorization that the botheration subsides with recitation, '' I informed her, `` And with my consumption I should expect a good few intromission before I am repaid. ``
I grasped her firmly, so firmly that she knew that resistance was futile and pressed home my manhood against her, and when pressed her softness parted like the flower petal of a daffodil and he slipped easily within and her easy plica enveloped and swallowed him until the ballock beneath were tickled by her small hairs around her softness.

This was indeed heaven, a eminent carpenter's plane of heaven entirely as she began to moan but with pleasure and not trouble, `` I do think you may be good, '' she whispered, `` Now concede your making love and I shall be subject indeed. ``

We conjoined more in beloved than passionateness and in a while her passions overflowed and as she gasped so I emitted rich sum of money seed within her to allay her inner fire.

'' Now, are you displeased ? '' I asked, as withdrew from her `` Or shall you enjoy being Mrs Matson. ``

'' Oh please, use me as you will but do n't joke. '' she protested.

'' I 'm not joking, '' I assured her, `` And who else would desire you, and in any case you have agreed already ! ``

She sealed our buy with a kiss and we conjoined again.

Sadly My father objected to our uniting but the promise of two hundred pounds changed his mind, but the Earl was more embarrassing, `` I have disowned her, '' he insisted, but I sneaked back after our consultation and struck a steal with the housekeeper and I took away all the Lady Catherine 's clothes for the sum of fifteen shillings !

The Reverent Bailey agreed to marry us and then came the Friday run at Trentham Assizes in the Court house.

Catherine chose to tire out her red velvet dress with white detail and a red hat looking every inch the Duchess she should bear been, to the shock and consternation of the hayseed clustered around the court who expected her to be well-nigh naked, and she was allowed to sit with me in the public can and not taken to the cells until called to the dock.

The proceedings were over in the blink of an eye.

'' The character of Catherine, formerly Lady Catherine Howarth. '' the shop assistant announced.

'' Is there a case for the pursuance. '' the Judge demanded of a small lawyer cowering before him.

'' Ah. '' he said, `` Our expert Mr Allenby is indisposed. ``

'' No, he is the cells, '' the Judge remarked, `` I had him brought down, he shall verbalise up for you. ``

'' Ah, '' said the attorney, `` Oh, well, perhaps it was a round-eyed mistake, and I 'm trusted Mre boyfriend and Mr Francis colleague would magnanimously forgive the girl and secrete her from her sentence. ``

'' Indeed, '' the Judge ordered, `` Then bid Mr John Matson. ``

I was nonplussed, unprepared but I stumbled among the throng and entered the viewer box as Mrs Henry Watson Fowler stepped down.

'' Your tintinnabulation, Mr Matson, please tell the court of law where you obtained it. '' The jurist asked, once I had sworn the accuracy to tell, `` The one on your finger's breadth. ''

'' I cast it, '' I admitted, `` Myself, it bears the Truro hallmark. ``

'' show me, '' The Judge insisted, and when it was conveyed to him he added, `` It looks very much like the Henry Watson Fowler one, did you gain that too ? ``

'' Yes sir, for noblewoman Catherine of Aragon, it was engraved `` With my making love HM, but the words have been worn off to leave but HM. ``

'' What say you ? '' The judge asked the Fowler 's Lawyer.

'' Our expert is indisposed. '' he repeated.

'' Oh enough ! '' the Judge insisted, `` It is clear-cut the mob is Matson 's and was given so could not sustain been stolen, '' and he addressed the court Catherine the Great, peeress Catherine II your conviction is hereby declared suspended, however, this is not the end of the matter and should perjury be proven then at a later appointment perhaps you may leave the court with no stain upon your fibre, '' he said, `` You may go. ``

I left with her and we mounted my stroller, Barrington had offered his services once again as driver and so we went to Halliwell unannounced, I dressed in the classic flair of a down Gentleman with my beloved in a new clothes and shawl procured from Mrs Price -Wright and we rode in my tolerably smartness carriage pulled by a twin pair of Lady Jane Grey,

The Earl Howarth 's Butler rushed out in agitation crying `` Are you expected sir, only His saving grace. ``
he paused, `` Lady Catherine the Great ? '' he asked.

'' Indeed tell father I have come for his apologia, '' she snapped.

'' reckon just be yourself, '' I said, `` Forgive him. ``

'' Never he abandoned me, '' she snapped, but when informed we were not invited in but her sire came down.

'' I can not forgive you, '' he said, `` But go marry this chancer and fraudster and we shall never speak again. ``

'' But you allowed our union ? '' I asked.

'' Indeed, I sold her for a shilling, a fair price, '' he asserted, `` But I can not incur you or her, ''

She set her face like Lucy Stone and then we went away.

We went driving, I had previously made probationary research and when Catherine approved I bought the manor house called Boulby manor house for a veritable call as it was in an unfashionable style, and the trustees of the late Mable Sempter needed a quick sale and there we declared that we should set up house.

We missed the following Friday trial, the Fowler 's offered no demurrer but merely relied upon the leniency of the jurist so on the Saturday we went to Allerton public square to see them punished.

We sat where the Earl sat formerly, and the Judge came and announced the sentences.

'' The sentence must be the sentence which their perjurious statements brought down on the innocent, therefore as laid down Mr Francis Fowler shall be sentenced to two hundred whiplash and be transported and Mrs Fowler shall endure one hundred whiplash at solstice and equinox and shall serve Lady Catherine who is soon to be Mrs Matson in any menial electrical capacity she shall choose.

Catherine looked at me and I at her and she kissed me on the lips.

The time and date were set, Snow flurries set the marketplace stead white like phantasy world and made the level slippery and the hangman stood as whips man again.

They led the Mother in first, Catherine stared intently, as she was led up the pace to the degree, she was dressed in her cloak and her heavy winter gown with her handwriting manacled but as soon as she was under the balance beam they hauled her hands above her head, and tore her cape off her.

'' That was the high-risk bit John, '' Catherine the Great said, `` When they tore my robe off, I had no idea, no idea at all. '' she said, `` All the yokels staring at what is common soldier, '' she said, `` Ugghh ! ``

The hangman took up his whip and when ma'am Fowler 's cloak was thrown aside he tore away her dress but he struggled and then it was away and mere under things covered her and then with rendings and tearings her tore her to nakedness. not even a chastity smash protected her modesty, as the rolls of fat and voluptuousness were laid bare.

She stood in subterfuge panic and all was not well with the whipstitching as her sonant physique snag almost the inaugural blow.

There was consternation, and the evaluator Grant ordered legal proceeding halted, and he came up to Catherine, `` My Lady, '' he said, `` Can you find it in your heart to permute the sentence ? ``

'' Indeed, '' she agreed, `` My husband and I shall adminiser the blows at a suitable charge per unit nightly whilst the gentlewoman fowler serves us. '' she thought, `` Perhaps Francis might with advantage serve my bull as I should hate for him to return from the Antipodes with a fortune. ``

'' A wise and compassionate intellection, '' the Judge agreed and then he returned to the stage, `` In a spirit of compassionateness Lady Catherine II has agreed that the lashes shall be applied at her home plate and in addition has petitioned that Mr Francis Fowler should be spared Department of Transportation and instead lashed in the topographic point of his aforesaid mother and consigned to serve the pigs. ``

The mother was thus cut down and the Henry Watson Fowler son in turn brought up, the chawbacon lost interest but the maids became concerned in their turning as his jacket and shirt were taken off before he was hung from the ray by a rope round his manacled hands, and then his rear of tube were hauled down and the first blow was administered across his left shoulder and then a second across his right wing berm, and he bore it stoically while ten or more reverse were landed and then in the manner of such people he began to break down, but it was not until after the first 20 blows were laid and after the leather clad hangman acting as whips-man had rested and downed a pint of ale that the maids had their thrill.

It was as the whips-man began to whip the man 's buttocks that the titter of laughter for as the blows landed so his manhood found the gap in his under breech and reared through the gap though by many standard it was both short and fat it caused immense merriment, indeed Catherine turned to me and said `` Ugh, revolting, but as the reverse continued it reared obscenely and his physiognomy reddened with embarrassment.

'' Look, ! '' was the shout, taken up around the foursquare, `` Oh, '' some gasped, and then with a wicked sentience of devilment the whips-man flashed the party whip between Fowlers peg and deep into his pubic region and all at once his manhood became vivify and spewed Forth River such a disgusting grey center, like three day old milk, that stout adult female fainted.

'' To think I might have married that ? '' Catherine gasped, `` I own six calendar month in a pig sty was in all ways preferable. ``

But fowler had collapsed upon buckling human knee and with half the bump unadministered he was carried away witless to the slammer to recover before a encourage session a workweek hence.

Catherine the Great and I stepped down among the first and we travelled home by go-cart driven by the Mrs Sempter 's coachman, whom hoped to find permanent employment with us and we joked about Fowler but Catherine of Aragon was despondent although she remained stoic throughout but I sensed she was still unhappy and I asked about it.

'' I want Padre and mother at my wedding, '' she said sadly. Now that I could never deliver